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| I am a 33 year old Pre-K Teacher I am in a 12-step program. I play the piano and sing. I love studying about the John F. Kennedy Presidency and Assassination. I have a kitten (and I HATE cats!) I enjoy painting. I love the character Cinderella (I believe we are ALL princesses!) My favorite singers are Billie Holliday, Ruth Brown, Betty Carter and Dianne Schurr. I love butterflies. I love reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, The Bible and praying. I love watching Court T.V. I love working on my site. I love spending time with friends. I absolutely love reading to children. I adore books. Adam Raccoon ROCKS!!! I love movies. Some of my favorites are: Moonstruck, The Godfather, Emma, The Man Who Went Up A Hill and Came Down A Mountain, Happy Gilmore, You Can't Take It With You, Christmas Vacation, It's A Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, When Harry Met Sally, Inherit the Wind, and To Kill a Mockingbird SEE BOTTOM OF PAGE FOR MY OPINION ABOUT MOVIES!! |
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| One of the reasons that I knew that I had a problem dealing with (in actuality just recognizing) my sexual abuse was viewing certain movies. I saw the movie NUTS with Barbara Streisand and almost flipped out. It was like I was losing my mind and I didn't know why! Then when I saw The Prince of Tides, it had a scene in it in which I cried over for literally days! Those were two of the most triggering movies I'd ever seen. I didn't even know what a trigger was! I just knew that I felt very aware of the feelings of the person on screen and it was like what was happening to the character was happening at that moment to me! It was horrible! I can still have a "flashback" of one of the scenes in the movie and it makes me have a flashback of my abuse and it affects me for a moment. Thank GOD it's only for a moment. It's just a flash and that's it. Those feelings of uneasiness also come upon me when I see a rape scene or a car chase when a woman's alone in a car (Meryl Streep as Karen Silkwood in Silkwood). When I see something like that I have to stay very grounded because those kind of scenes make me so paranoid! I'll run from my car to my house, won't go out at night, and check my locks an extra time. I have to be very careful that I don't intentionally place myself in a position to be triggered. If I even THINK that a woman will be abused in a movie, I simply won't watch it (to hell with Oscar nominations!). Another thing, the book, She's Come Undone totally overwhelmed me. I hated that book but I couldn't put it down. It was a total mind blower because it made me feel like I was going nuts. I so related to the character in places that I felt like I could actually feel her feelings. And the worst part was that the ending was so sloppy. It was like the author, Wally Lamb decided, "Well, I've put this woman through hell, I'm done, let's end this joker." And he did. I cried for weeks after reading it. My friends on the other hand loved the book and wanted to read everything he's written since. I just wanted to shake that guy. |