[Written by Luckose]
Trek-O-Mania
Protagonists - A Water Melon (WM), an Over Sized PineApple (OSPA), a Pint Sized Potato (PSP) and ME.
It all started from the time when WM and ME persuaded OSPA and PSP to go for a trek.
The gang commences to pack the ruck-sacks. The result is tabulated as follows -
Rucksacks - 4
Cameras - 4 (Canon-1, Nikon-1, Minolta-1, Vivitar-1)
Lenses, Films and Accessories
Food - 1 Quintal
Water Melon - 1
Pine Apple - 1 (Over Sized)
Potato - 1 (Pint Sized)
ME - 1
The gang rushes to the bus-port also called Majestic and as usual they are late. Bit of allegations and counter-allegations as to who delayed the gang, float in the smog envelope of the bus-port.
The bus has the optimistic title 'Air-bus' and looks like a dilapidated truck. Luckily it behaves (under the tutelage of a pilot with an attitude problem) more like a land bus. There are quite a few painful periods when the bus transitions from an air-bus to a land bus.
The gang reaches Distanthalli in the wee hours of morning. We discuss our next step. Whither goest we? Since the gang believes in democracy, we debate the pros and cons of each option. But WM (who looks like a double WM because of the rucksack he carries) dictates the proceedings by his superior acoustic power. OhMiGosh! ME forgot the ear plugs this time. Experience, the great teacher, taught ME to carry ear plugs when in company of WM.
WM checks the compass which he habitually carries. Looks of confusion and alarm spreads across the upper echelons of WM. He asks me to confirm the directions with my compass. My compass matches the reading of his compass. WM is still not convinced.
We discuss the advisability of carrying another quintal of food - after all we might get lost in the forest. The resolution is passed by a brute majority (ayes by WM, OSPA and ME). PSP offers a weak resistance (being too lazy to carry the stuff) which is quickly quelled.
We reach Startarahalli after travelling by a vehicle which sounded as if a full-fledged band is playing inside. After getting down we do minor jigs to get all the organs and bones back in place. We try to help WM but are not able to find any bones in the vast expanse - anyway he looks more or less fine.
We walk for all of 15 minutes before the first break. We decide to indulge in what we like best - observing nature. Another round of debate, before we decide the order in which take snaps.
ME being the fastest snapper and the Canon being the quietest camera, ME get the first chance to snap a butterfly (Bf) relaxing near the road. ME take the quota of snaps reserved for this Bf and clear the field.
Next is PSP with his Nikon. The Bf seems to be enjoying all the attention. He tentatively moves his wings (like a body builder flexing his muscles) so that PSP can have clear shots all around. The poor guy is so hopelessly mistaken. PSP takes so much time to compose, focus and click that in all probability the Bf would have died of boredom by that time.
If the Bf is not dead of boredom by now, he is in for more. OSPA takes so much time to focus that seasons change and trees grow and die. If the Bf is still not dead by the time OSPA decides to click - the click will do it for him.
For, when the Minolta's shutter is pressed, it booms like a cannon (not a Canon), earth trembles and landslides happen. Legend says that when somebody was chased by a pachyderm, he pointed his Minolta at the animal and pressed the shutter. The animal just rolled over thinking that he is dead. Wild Life Sanctuaries and National Parks across South India have reported lowered bird and wildlife densities following extensive photo sessions using a Minolta.
The vivitar cannot be used for precision photography like taking snaps of persons, butterflies etc. It can used for taking snaps of sky, sea etc where not much details are required. It can also used be used for creating modern art where even the creator of the stuff can't explain what it means.
All this photography business makes people hungry and it is time for food. OSPA is not very happy with biscuits and other various minor edible articles. But he is not at all slow in the competition to finish food. The only
casualty is PSP who likes to take in stuff slowly and with moderation.
OSPA has a strange way of having biscuits. He swallows the packet whole and brings out the empty wrapper - sort of like a python. Come to think of it, he IS a python in Pine Apple form. Observing this Pine Apple Python putting away food, awe struck poets have muttered
"His hands shaped like spades
Into his mouth, victuals do fade
Turning laden plates to naughts
Winning a battle well fought"
We decide to continue with our trek. ME is alarmed by loud trumpeting. But ME realizes
that WM is expressing his happiness at having a full stomach. OhMiGosh! What ME would do for an ear plug!
WM starts a discourse which meanders through post - modernism, didactic nature of world religions, pi and other junk. In desperation, the gang starts discussions on the time when WM's cholesterol-encrusted-heart was stolen by a representative of THE WEAKER SEX and the subsequent developments. As usual, the mention of his C-E heart silenced him effectively.
PSP checks some of his gadgets. He is a walking mount of electronic paraphernalia. He wears (usually) a pair of trousers with about 20 pockets which, in no particular order, contain
pedometer - 1
mobile phone - 1
voice recorder - 1
pda - 1
binocs - 1 pair
walk man - 1
lens and other camera accessories
point & shoot camera - 1
birding book - 1
note book - 1
pen - 1
pencil - 1
He also carries an SLR (which he can't put in his pocket).
It is almost evening. We find a gleam in the eyes of OSPA. We are slightly uneasy because we realize what the look stands for - lack of food. Luckily, luckily, luckily for all of us OSPA is veggie.
Next step is hallucination. OSPA espies PSP and asks 'Is this Dum Aloo?' PSP hides behind me. OSPA starts chanting in a hollow voice 'Enikku vishakkunnooo...(I am hungry)'. Using WM and his bag as a shield we start the negotiation process: 'Can't he hang on for another hour?' 'Can he survive on biscuits?'
We accelerate to forget (at least temporarily) this new found problem. Soon we have our first glimpses of habitation. We have to drag OSPA from invading the first house we see.
We reach a small city with about 6 shops and GREAT!! one of them is a hotel. OSPA wants to attack the kitchen directly. We persuade him to adopt more cultured methods (like waiting for food at the table). By the time we finish the food the hotel owner looks zapped. It is time for him to close shop for the day.
From Endarahalli we catch the last bus (a red monster with vertical seats) back home.
And morning finds us sleeping peacefully in our respective beds.
[End.]
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