Gina woke to a small stream of sunlight through the crack in the curtains, the feeling of Paul’s warm breath against her shoulder and the gentle melody of Bic Runga’s “Sway”.

          I should be much too smart for this. You know it gets the better of me. Sometimes, when you and I collide I fall into an ocean of you…

          She gently rolled over and came face to face with Paul who looked so innocent with his atrocious bed head and five o’clock shadow. Gina sleepily pressed her lips against his and was pleasantly surprised when he responded by kissing her back.
          “What time is it?” Paul asked,, his voice hoarse.
          “Seven,” Gina mused nuzzling into his neck with no desire to leave the warmth of her bed and go to work where she’d only end up getting screamed at by Max/Amanda/Anyone who was generally irritated.
          “Too early,” Paul breathed and kissed the side of her head lethargically.
          They fell silent; eyes closed and praying that one of them had a fairy godmother that might appear and grant them a day off or alternatively have a major truck roll over on the main road into town.

          Say you'll stay. Don't come and go, like you do. Sway my way. Yeah, I need to know, all about you…

          “Genie,” Paul piped up after a few seconds, his voice less hoarse.
          “Mmm,” she replied, deciding sentences were too much at that hour.
          “Did I win an ARIA last night?"
          “Yeah, it’s on the bedside table,” Gina yawned and fought her eyes who seemed to think staying closed was more useful than being open.
          “Just checking it wasn’t some weird fucking dream,” Paul sighed, pulling himself up to a sitting position. He looked over in a semi-awake state at his shining ARIA and Gina was sure there was a distinct look of pride on his face.
          “It’s as real as that fantastic orgasm I had,” Gina mused, sliding out from beneath the sheets and pulling on Paul’s discarded shirt.
          “The one I gave you,” Paul chimed in looking annoyingly smug, like Gina had never achieved her sexual peak before meeting him.
          “No, the one I had,” Gina countered wryly, fishing out some clean underwear from a draw and then left with the intention of having a shower.
          Paul groused a moment before grabbing his ARIA from its resting spot. “We don’t need her,” he informed the award, wrapped it in his arms beneath the covers and snuggled back into the warmth.

          It’s all because of you. It’s all because of you…

          Paul was still cuddling his ARIA when Gina returned from the bathroom, he opened one eye with the full intention of ignoring her completely when he noticed she was in nothing but some alluring sheer underwear that instantly caused all the blood to rush away from his brain.
          “She’s evil,” he announced breathlessly.
          “Who you talking to?” Gina asked, reaching into the wardrobe as she searched for an appropriate shirt.
          “Frank,” Paul replied, somewhat muffled by the sheets.
          “And Frank would be?” Gina asked, pulling on a bright red shirt with three quatre sleeves.
          “The ARIA."
          “Right,” Gina nodded, neatening her collar but not doing the shirt up. She turned to look at him and he couldn’t help but ogle his first full frontal look at her delightful underwear. “Do you make a habit of naming inanimate objects?"
          “It gives them a more personal feel,” Paul countered, pulling the covers away from his face. “It’s better to refer to the fridge as Connie than fridge."
          “Your fridge is called Connie?"
          “It’s a kitchen appliance, needs a mothering name."
          “Of course,” she nodded and turned away. Paul was halfway though a sigh when she’s turned back and his spirits lifted. “So is Connie evil?"
          “No, she keeps my beer cold. Why?"
          “You said ‘she’s evil’."
          “I was talking about you and you shouldn’t eavesdrop even though I know that being a journalist it’s part of the ‘no morals’ clause in your contract."
          “Why am I evil?” Gina asked – it was too early for some metaphoric Paul babble and her head was still in the clouds from the previous night.
          “In fact I’m sure you’re taught that at journalist school. How to earn a wage and not have a heart. You probably have to abandon your soul on graduation."
          “Paul!” Gina groused, her hands on her hips. She glared at him and he had the overwhelming desire to tell her she’s was beautiful but there was also the distinct possibility she might injure him with her roll on deodorant. “Why am I evil?"
          “Hmm let’s think shall we?” Paul announced, his voice thick with sarcasm. “You’re standing there, absolutely gorgeous and glowing in what can only be described as underwear that should be illegal."
          “Why does that make me evil?” Gina asked, bewildered and still making no attempt to button her shirt.
          “Because that’s all I’m going to be able to think of all day,” Paul replied, frowning in a manner that was more cute than angry. “And while I’m sure you feel flattered I’m going to have to wear extremely baggy pants and avoid bending over all day otherwise I might do myself an injury."
          Gina, God bless her, managed to keep a serious face as she shrugged the shirt off her shoulders and dropped it on the end of the bed. She put on her best display of sex-kitteness as she crawled up the bed, stopping when their faces were level. “I guess I should really be punished for being evil huh?"
          “I was thinking you could punish me,” Paul smiled wryly, shoving Frank onto the floor.
          Gina brought her lips teasingly close to his, “Just like last night?"
          “Oh yeah,” Paul said, more a groan than words.
          “Want to recreate the best fuck you ever had?” Gina breathed and Paul fought every muscle to stop himself ravishing her then and there. Here she was in raunchy undies and talking dirty, if she didn’t touch him soon he was going to literally burst.
          “God I want you,” Paul managed to breathe as his hand crept onto his thigh. Gina smiled wickedly.
          “You can have me,” she purred, briefly pressing her lips against his. “After work.” She pulled away and he let out a grunt of frustration. “Go on, get up and I’ll make breakfast."
          “Remind me to thank you for the raging hard on,” Paul groused wrapping himself in a sheet and shuffling uncomfortably toward the door.
          “Never mind honey, you can spank the money in the shower,” Gina giggled as she retrieved her shirt and then looked at him even more amused. “Did I just say that?” Paul shook his head and disappeared from the room. “See what you do to me? You make me stay stuff like ‘spank the monkey’!” Gina called after him and burst into a fit of giggles.

          After breakfast, which consisted of scrambled egg on toast, tea and Paul glaring along with apologising to Frank for being tossed on the floor and dropping Paul at the studio, Gina finally made it to work. Actually, she was on time and still feeling relaxed, girlie and a bit silly. As she waited for the elevator doors to open she sent a rude text message to Paul and stood sniggering about it until the doors opened and someone important appeared.
          “Jesus Coleman you’re here,” Danny mused as he stood amused and clutching a notepad and pen.
          “Yes Daniel, “ Gina mused. “I’m a dedicated worker with my eye on promotion."
          “No you’re nauseatingly giddy with happiness,” Danny chided and then ignored her as a blonde woman Gina had never seen before walked past. She turned and threw Danny a smile and he eagerly threw one back.
          “Oh Dan no,” Gina sighed, looking first at the woman’s bleached hair and then where Danny was looking at her pert bottom. “Just because she’s pert."
          “She has more than pertness,” Danny huffed, looking indignantly at Gina.
          “Well she’s not a real blonde,” Gina shrugged. “And as for her ‘other things’ they are so very much silicone."
          “Oh like you can tell…” Danny paused and then remembered an article a friend of his Matt wrote on breast implants and the ‘studies’ they’d undertaken. “I’m sure she has a lovely personality."
          Gina raised an eyebrow and grabbed his arm. “Come on, we’re going to see Amanda!"
          “What about the meeting,” Danny yelped as he found himself dragged into the corridor.
          “We’ll beat someone up for notes,” Gina chided and they marched down the hall, through the partitions to Amanda’s office.
          “Don’t you two have an ideas meeting?” Amanda asked as she sat opening her mail.
          “Dan’s in lust,” Gina declared, sitting herself in a padded chair.
          “With the pert,” Amanda sighed, all knowing as she always was and Gina nodded. “Daniel, darling, you can do so much better."
          “I haven’t done anything,” Danny huffed. “Besides what do either of you care? You’re both taken."
          “We’re just looking out for you man,” Gina piped up. “Pert people do not stay that way."
          “She’s not your type,” Amanda added and Danny frowned deeply.
          “Oh shut up,” he huffed. “Why are you getting all angsty with me when Gina’s here to yell at?"
          “Mandy doesn’t need to yell at me?” Gina mused and noticed the stern, editor look on Amanda’s face.
          “Actually I’m pissed with you too,” she declared. “You were supposed to do me an article but you and it never appeared yesterday."
          “Yeah something came up,” Gina winced as the guilt flooded her system.
          “Did you do the interview?"
          “Well sort of."
          “How can you sort of do an interview?” Danny piped up, wondering if it’d be possible for him to escape and back to the pert blonde.
          “It wasn’t so much the interview I did as…”
          “The interviewee,” Amanda sighed rubbing her temples. “I was depending on that article Gina."
          “Well, if it’s any consolation I have a great interview with Tim Freedman, a few words from Julian Lennon and a couple of quotes from Kylie."
          “As in Minogue?” Danny gasped, deciding he was going to overdose on pertness if things kept going the way they were.
          “I was told no one could even got close to her,” Amanda said shocked as she dropped the letter she was holding.
          “Her and Paul are old friends apparently,” Gina shrugged. “Actually he seemed to know nearly everyone which was a bit weird."
          “That’s magnificent!” Amanda gushed. “You can write a nice long article for me on the ARIA’s after party."
          “Well, no I can’t because I didn’t stay all that long, Paul and I actually got into an argument."
          “Oh yeah I heard about that,” both Danny and Amanda said together and Gina gave them both daggers.
          “Fabulous, I’m gossip column material now,” Gina groused.
          “Well not exactly, just a rumour that Paul was arguing with an unidentified blonde woman,” Amanda nodded eagerly. “Was it a bad argument? I mean you don’t seem very upset?"
          “It started off the worst argument we’ve ever had,” Gina sighed and then smiled mischievously. “But then we had the most amazing sex and all was forgotten."
          “And you complain about me wanting a pert woman,” Danny huffed and stormed out of Amanda’s office.
          “I hate you,” Amanda announced without conviction. “How amazing?"
          “He’s being forced to wear baggy pants."
          Amanda narrowed her eyes. “Go write me an article."
          “Going,” Gina nodded, getting to her feet and leaving Amanda to seethe with warranted jealousy.

          As usual Paul’s concentration wasn’t on those who were praising Frank or even the two interviews he’d had that morning. Now as he sat at the boardroom table he was doodling a picture of naked Gina on his script and when it dawned on him that he was doing it he quickly changed her to a mermaid being attacked by an octopus. He was the octopus.
          “So what do you think Paul?” Ted asked from the far end of the table.
          “Fantastic idea,” Paul replied not even looking up until Mikey nudged him. “What?"
          “You think it’s a fantastic idea that we blow up camera three?” Ted sighed, looking thoroughly defeated.
          “Of course, I never liked Mark much anyway,” Paul mused glancing back at his Gina-maid and Octo-Paul. “At least if we blow him up it’ll make good television, maybe throw in a bit of confetti or that glittery stuff…”
          “You’ll have to excuse Paul, he and the lovely Gina had a fight last night and I think she might have removed his brain in the cab home,” Mikey piped up.
          “Thankyou for telling EVERYONE Michael,” Paul snorted. “But we made up."
          “Right, so he’s had sex,” one of the writer’s breathed.
          “Simon, I don’t think anyone asked you…” Paul groused.
          “Which means he’s all lovey dovey now,” Mikey teased and Paul shot him a ‘shut the fuck up’ look.
          “I’m not lovey dovey, I don’t do lovey dovey,” Paul spat. “My mind just happens to be preoccupied."
          “Must have been good sex,” piped up another writer.
          “Oh and you’d know what good sex is huh?” Paul chided, looking at the writer.
          “I could always ask your girlfriend,” the writer grinned and Paul grabbed his glass of water.
          “PAUL!” Ted snapped getting to his feet. “You drench a writer and I’ll come over there and throttle you."
          “He’s being mean about Genie!"
          “What are you, five?” Mikey laughed.
          “Give or take thirty years,” Paul scowled. “Can we please get off me?"
          “Gina obviously did,” Simon sniggered and Paul shot him venomous daggers.
          “Paul’s right, let’s bring a bit of decorum back to the room,” Ted ordered and sat back down.
          “Thankyou Ted, at least someone here is a mature adult,” Paul announced haughtily.
          “Which is more than we can say about you,” Mikey giggled and Paul glared at him. “And before you say anything remember I know why you and the lovely Gina were arguing last night."
          “We’re not friends any more,” Paul huffed and reverted his attention back to his doodling.

          It was nearly 6pm when Gina finally left the office and was more than glad to be receding to her car. She’d spent most of the day having to watch Danny going gooey every time the pert woman appeared; even more nauseating was when the pert woman reciprocated the attention Danny was giving her and they ended up spending twenty minutes flirting over the stapler. Gina was vowing not to get sappy over stationary with Paul when she was grabbed from behind and hugged so tight she couldn’t breath.
          “Dan, my lungs,” Gina gasped and he loosened his grip.
          “She said yes!” Danny beamed and kissed Gina on the forehead.
          “Who said yes?"
          “Sam."
          “Sam?” Gina frowned. “Oh pert."
          “Her name is Sam."
          “She’ll always be pert to me,” Gina countered and then decided it sounded far to weird. “What did she say yes to?"
          “A date, Friday night,” Danny grinned inanely. “You think I should go for romance or fun?"
          “I don’t know how much her brain could handle,” Gina countered and then felt guilty because Danny looked generally hurt she wasn’t sharing his enthusiasm. “How badly do you want to sleep with her?"
          “Very,” Danny nodded.
          “Go for fun, make a women laugh and she’ll fuck you."
          “You tell me this now,” Danny pouted, looking as though he’s missed a thousand nights of sex because he hadn’t made his prospective lays chortle.
          “I thought you were going to the Swannies game? That’s Friday."
          “Maybe Sam would…”
          “No, honey you’ll be surrounded by fit men in shorts."
          “I look fit in shorts!"
          “But you want to be shortless."
          “You make a good point,” Danny sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I really like her."
          “No you lust her,” Gina countered.
          “No I LIKE her,” Danny said sternly. “I want what you and Paul have got."
          “Oh honey no, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone,” Gina mused. “It’s best you work on what you and per – Sam have got which so far is her bottom, your desire to get into her knickers and a love of staplers."
          “I think there’s a connection there."
          “You plan to staple her to the bed by her underwear?"
          “I wouldn’t say no,” Danny smiled and looked wistful for a moment.
          “I’m going home before your pheromones start spreading,” Gina declared with a grin. “Go and fantasise somewhere else."
          “Already there,” Danny laughed as he unlocked his car and slipped behind the wheel. He watched Gina drive out of the parking lot and pondered what the consequences of dating Sam might be. His friends disliked her, she wasn’t much of a conversationalist and Gina was acting like a jealous ex, which pleased him to no end.

          “Listen Trevor, I don’t ask for much but I think you’re just taking liberties now,” Paul hissed as Gina walked into the kitchen and looked at him strangely as he was scowling at the grill.
          “Trevor?” she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.
          “I was making grilled cheese but Trevor decided to jam,” Paul huffed.
          “Trevor being…”
          “The grill."
          “Right,” Gina nodded, trying to fathom why anyone would call a grill Trevor. She shoved Paul aside, grabbed the handle, yanked the grill and it slid out revealling Paul’s charcoaled dinner.
          “Look what you did!” he hissed at the oven.
          “Don’t take it out on Jemima, it was clearly Trevor’s fault,” Gina sighed, using a spatula to remove the blackened bread and cheese and depositing it in the bin.
          “Jemima was in on it too,” Paul pouted. “Her and Clark have been on my back all afternoon."
          “Clark?"
          “The rangehood,” Paul said blankly. “All three of ‘em ganged up on me. It’s a fucking conspiracy."
          “Nevermind, I’ll talk to Jemima and see if we can’t work together to make dinner,” Gina nodded as she started to feel the entire conversation was beyond stupid.
          “You’re like the UN,” Paul mused and then pondered a moment. “Do you think people are going to think we’re strange because our appliances have names?"
          “Yes,” Gina nodded. “Our appliances? I thought they were mine."
          “Yours, mine what’s the difference?” Paul shrugged. “No wait, Mavis would never treat me like Jemima does."
          “So, I’m going to assume by your frantic naming of my kitchen whitegoods that you had less than great day,” Gina declared as she grabbed a cloth from the sink and started cleaning the cheese from the grill.
          “I was harassed at work by the idiots I work with,” Paul pouted. “They reckon I get all lovey dovey after I have sex."
          “They know about our sex life?” Gina gasped. “And yes, you’re a total girl."
          “I didn’t bring it up, it was Mikey,” Paul huffed. “And Bruce was being lewd about you…”
          “Bruce?"
          “One of the writers."
          “Oh great, I’m being bandied about in conversation during your meetings like I’m the whore from hell by people I don’t know."
          “And you never talk about me at work?"
          “Only to Amanda but she got us together so it doesn’t count,” Gina announced satisfied with the cleaned grill. She chucked the cloth back in the sink and looked back at Paul. “Dan’s in love with pert."
          “Pert?” Paul said bewildered and wondering if Pert wasn’t just shampoo.
          “Well, her name’s Sam but she’s unnaturally pert,” Gina groused, crossing her arms.
          “Which bit of her is pert?” Paul asked then realised that probably was a bad idea and decided to change the subject. “By the way I made us plans for Saturday."
          “What type of plans?” Gina asked suspiciously.
          “I let Mikey talk me into a BBQ in the park with some of the guys and their partners and kids from work."
          “Sounds like fun,” Gina said, actually enjoying an afternoon in the sun.
          “No it won’t. Burnt food, happy children and they’ll make me play sport,” Paul sulked, crossing his arms. “I only agreed because he threatened to tell everyone why we were arguing last night."
          “Oh god, don’t even go there. Apparently the entire media world knows about that."
          “Really?” Paul gasped although he wasn’t sure why he was surprised when they’d been going hammer and tongs at the ARIA’s after party. “Anyway what do you mean I’m a total girl?"
          “You are, all gooey and cuddly and adorable after we’ve had sex,” Gina chided, the idea of sex and then him being gooey, cuddly and adorable did seem a far better option than dinner.
          “Well at least I didn’t turn into a smutty, smutty girl this morning,” Paul announced with a wry smile. “That text message made me blush."
          “Which bit?” Gina purred moving closer to him, her hands creeping onto his belt.
          “You know which bit,” Paul swallowed as the images of her underwear came flooding back into his mind. “I didn’t even know you knew those words."
          “You bring out my inner slut,” Gina declared nonchalantly.
          “Yeah, I’m not thinking it’s that inner,” Paul countered, his hands searching out the warm skin her shirt concealed.
          “Better than your outer pervert,” Gina retorted as Paul nipped at her neck.
          “At least I’m not ashamed of my outer pervert,” he chided as Gina’s fingers ran over the small of his back, the feel of her nails making him tingle. “You’re mortified by your own sexuality."
          “I’ve dated a lot of conservative men,” Gina sighed looking into his eyes. “And Chris who was purely in it for himself,” she added. “I was informed it turned them off."
          “Why? What was wrong with them?” Paul frowned.
          Gina shrugged, “So you like my inner whore then?"
          “I love your inner whore like only a sexually perverse man can,” Paul smiled wickedly. “Do you think Jemima would be opposed if we had sex in front of her?"
          “No, she’s very open minded, it’s Francesca you’ve got to be wary of,” Gina mused as their lips edged closer.
          “Francesca?"
          “The fridge,” Gina cooed and Paul raised an eyebrow and then dashed to the kitchen table, grabbed the tablecloth and flung it over the fridge.
          “Now she can’t watch,” he declared proudly before an idea struck him and he switched off the bright kitchen lights replacing it with the soft glow of the oven light and switched the radio to a station playing love songs. He grinned, strode across the lino and pulled Gina into his arms and kissed her with all the passion that’d been building inside him all day as Bic Runga came on the radio.

          It’s all because of you…