Gina rolled over and expected to come face to face with Paul but was instead greeted by the sheets that contained no traces of him having been there. She sat up rubbing her eyes and yawned. Where on earth could he have got to? It was only 9am and Paul was neither an early riser nor one to bypass the opportunity of morning sex. Gina threw back the covers and tried to neaten her hair with her fingers as she padded out of the room. She headed toward the kitchen but turned back when she heard a grunt from the couch. Paul was lying uncomfortably, he was on his stomach with both feet uncovered by the blanket and one arm lolling over the side.
          "Hey, why are you out here?" Gina asked, gently squeezing his shoulder as she took a seat on the arm of the couch. Paul let out a low groan and with great effort managed to open his eyes.
          "What time is it?" he mumbled sitting up and scratching his stomach.
          "Just after nine," Gina replied, sliding onto the couch beside him, the spot warm from where he'd been sleeping. "Why are you out here?" she asked again as she rubbed his arm.
          "Because I couldn't sleep with you," Paul yawned.
          "What? Why not? I wasn't snoring was I?"
          "No."
          "Bad flatulence brought on by too many veggies?"
          "No."
          "Did I smell?"
          "No."
          "Then why?"
          "Well if you shut up a second I'll tell ya."
          "I am shutting up," Gina pouted and Paul managed to raise a tired eyebrow at her. "What?"
          "I felt bad," Paul mumbled fumbling with the blanket.
          "About what?" Gina yawned.
          "What do you mean about what? I upset you, I hurt you, I proved I'm a useless partner."
          "Huh? Oh," Gina mused. "I'm over it," she added and went to kiss him.
          "No!" Paul declared, moving away. "You can't just forgive me. I don't deserve to be forgiven."
          "But I can't stay angry with you."
          "Well learn."
          "Hon, you're being an exceptional moron," Gina chided.
          "Exactly, so punish me," Paul ordered.
          "Is this some weird kind of fetish or something?"
          "No you stupid woman," Paul huffed, throwing down the blanket and getting to his feet. "I was bad, I was a total pig to you and made you cry. I think you should yell or slap me or something."
          "I don't want to slap you," Gina pouted. "I'm really not angry. Granted, I was last night but it's not worth dwelling on."
          Paul let out a frustrated cry. "No, no, no! You're not letting me get off this easily."
          "Fine," Gina sighed, getting to her feet. "Don't do it again," she mused and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You're a bad, bad boy."
          "I don't think you're taking me seriously at all," Paul huffed.
          "How can I take you seriously?" Gina groused, letting him go. "I just want to cuddle and revel in the fact that I did an entire dinner party on my own and your friends accepted me."
          "Well we can't do that until we've sorted out this problem," Paul declared.
          "What problem? I don't have a problem!" Gina whined.
          "I have a problem," Paul spat. "This isn't just about you ya know? You told me to discuss my problems with you and I'm trying and you're not even taking me seriously."
          "I'm not taking you seriously because you've clearly gone mad," Gina mused.
          Paul narrowed his eyes. "Fine, have it your way," he huffed, throwing his arms in the air. "I'm going home," he added, marching into the bedroom to get dressed.
          "He's lost the plot entirely," Gina gasped, feeling nothing short of confused.

          By the time Paul arrived back at his apartment he had fallen into a total state of melancholy. Not helped by the ludicrous amounts of love songs being played on the radio in the taxi. The driver, making an annoyingly symbolic move by turning up The Whitlams “No Aphrodisiac.” Paul dropped his belongings miserably onto the couch and wandered into the kitchen. He opened the fridge to find its contents consisted of a block of mouldy cheese, some leftover Asian takeaway that had seen better days and a sour carton of milk. He closed the door and smacked his head against it repeatedly for a few minutes until he caught his reflection in the toaster and realised he now had the impression of a magnet from Canberra implanted in his forehead. "Fuckwit," Paul scowled and let himself slide down against the fridge to the floor. He didn't know why he was so miserable and angry, he was annoyed that Gina had forgiven him so easily but he wasn't pissed at her. No, the only person that was bothering him was himself.

          "And then I basted the kid and put him in the oven for 45 minutes at 22O," Amanda sighed. "Are you even listening?"
          "Huh?" Gina mumbled, looking up from her barely touched iced coffee.
          "You invite me for shopping and coffee then leave your bloody brain at home," Amanda groused.
          "Sorry, I'm worried about Paul."
          "No really? I'd never have guessed."
          "What's that supposed to mean?"
          "Gina, all you've done is talk about him."
          "Is that bad?"
          "More sad than bad. I mean how long have you been dating him? Surely the honeymoon period should be over by now."
          "Just because you squeezed out a snotty little brat doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be happy."
          "But you're not happy. You're moping excessively."
          "Yeah, because Paul's not happy."
          "And why isn't he happy? I mean it’s not like he had to do anything last night right? You did it all."
          "How do you know?"
          "Dan told me."
          "Bloody Dan," Gina spat. "Yes, ok, I did and I was angry but I'm over it now."
          "How can you be over it? He left you to do all the work?"
          Gina shrugged. "He's too cute to stay angry at."
          "Oh don't make me gag," Amanda groaned. "So, what's made him miserable? Lack of a normal functioning brain?"
          "He feels I should punish him for treating me badly. How sweet is that?"
          "Lord," Amanda mumbled rolling her eyes. "So are you going to?"
          "What?"
          "Punish him!"
          "No, I just want him to forgive himself," Gina pouted. "I hate to see him down."
          Amanda sipped her cappuccino and sighed as she looked at Gina who poked the spoonful of ice cream in her iced coffee, a look of concern obvious on her face.
          "You really have it bad don't you?"
          "You've only got yourself to blame."
          "Oh you don't have to remind me," Amanda mused. "If I'd known it was going to turn you into a love sick freak I might have thought twice."
          "You're a real friend Mandy," Gina sarced and finally sucked up some of her iced coffee. They were quiet for a few moments before Amanda let out a heavy sigh.
          "Oh for God's sake go and see him will you!"
          "But what about…"
          "Gina you're going to pop and vein soon and your pining is making me nauseous."
          "Are you sure?" Gina gasped collecting her bags.
          "Yes, besides I have my cracked nipples to attend to."
          "Thanks hon," Gina laughed as she left her share of the money for a bill and hurried from the café.

          Paul was sprawled on his bed staring at the roof and trying to pinpoint his anger. He'd turned the radio up and was feeling increasingly despondent thanks to music being played by the radio station they all seemed to be against him.
          Conscience plays upon me now Safe until my luck runs out…
          He closed his eyes trying to ignore Neil Finn and his bloody moralistic singing.
          Sinner got my eyes got my face. Fireball drop from the sky. All my dreams have come to pass. Where's my faith is it lost? Can't see it till you cast it off…
          "Yes, ok thanks Neil I get the picture," Paul huffed, wishing he'd never switched the damn thing on and that he could find the energy to go and turn it off again.
          Sinner there is no such thing. Beginner I have learned to sing. Forever I must walk this earth. Like some forgotten soldier…
          "Who are you talking too?" Gina asked appearing at the door.
          "Neil Finn," Paul replied as she dropped her bag on the end of the bed. Gina sat cross legged on the bed beside him.
          "Why?"
          "Because I can," Paul groused. "What are you doing here?"
          "I worried about you," Gina sighed, changing positions so she was instead looking up at him while resting her head on his chest. Her legs were curled in front of her. "You freaked me out this morning."
          "Sorry," Paul sighed, gently rubbing her leg. "I'm just so angry."
          "You shouldn't be," Gina soothed. "So you fucked up. It happens."
          "That's not the point."
          "Then what is because I'm really struggling to understand."
          Paul clicked his tongue for a moment. "Genie I'm terrible when it comes to relationships. I wouldn't want any self respecting woman to end up with me."
          "I don't know that I like where this conversation is going," Gina mumbled.
          Paul sat up and forced Gina to sit up too. "Then I met you and it all changed. I'm terrified of fucking things up."
          "You've already dumped me once I don't see how you can fuck things up anymore."
          "Well, that's the thing babe. If you let me get away with things I will fuck up. I know I will."
          "Wait a sec," Gina breathed. "Are you saying that if you fuck up it'll be because I didn't yell at you? I'm not taking responsibility for your mistakes."
          "No, you're getting it all wrong," Paul huffed, running his fingers through his hair. He thought for a moment and then tried to say what he was thinking again. "I just, I want you to care."
          "I do care," Gina said confused.
          "I want you to care enough to tell me when I've hurt you and give me hell for it," Paul begged.
          "I try but then you give me some adorable look and I just melt," Gina sighed. Paul looked at her pained and Gina broke into a smile. "Just like that."
          "You're not helping."
          "Well I would if I knew how!"
          "Tell me how you really feel about last night," Paul declared as he climbed off the bed. "Think about how tired you were, how you cooked and cleaned and how I did nothing but swan in and entertain the guests."
          Gina sat quietly for a moment as Paul stood eagerly awaiting her response. When she looked up her expression was fierce. "You know Paul, maybe you're right. I should get my real feelings off my chest."
          "Yes, yeah, give it to me," he enthused, kneeling on the edge of the bed.
          "You know I got up when you left for the radio and I cleaned. In fact, the apartment was spotless until you came back and left your shit everywhere," Gina scorned getting to her feet. "And then you left and I cleaned some more, I went and did the shopping, got everything but the booze. I had to call Dan to get that because you were nowhere to be seen. Then I spent the rest of the day cooking that fucking meal, which was mostly for your friends because I wanted them to like me."
          "All true," Paul nodded.
          "I couldn't believe it when you showed up half an hour before the guests were going to arrive. I mean, could you have been anymore insensitive if you'd tried? Then you went and played the bloody perfect host while I continued to slave away. You didn't even ask me how I was or anything, just walked in like you were God."
          "Yeah, you don't have to go on if you don't want to," Paul swallowed.
          "I couldn't even enjoy myself I was so tired. My entire body ached from being on my feet all day and you had the audacity to leave me to do the dishes. Remind me to thank Dan for making you notice I was about to have a breakdown."
          "Genie I think we've…"
          "And to think I had to be nice to your bloody friends the whole time and I didn't even have the desire to be nice to you."
          "Gina!" Paul snapped.
          "Oh don't even bother to talk to me. You're right, you’re a selfish bastard and I hate you," Gina snapped back and stormed out of the room.
          "Well, that went well," Paul breathed standing there blankly.

          Late in the evening Gina was perched on the couch watching some confusing foreign movie that could only be described as an erotic murder mystery when she heard the key in the lock. She fought the smile that was desperate to creep onto her lips and watched out of the corner of her eye as Paul sauntered into the room.
          "What ya watching?" he asked quietly.
          "The television," Gina replied moving her feet. "You gonna sit down or just stand there cluttering up the room?"
          "Sorry," Paul swallowed and went to sit in an armchair.
          "Over here," Gina ordered patting the couch next to her. He gingerly sat down and looked at her nervously. "You want to say something?"
          "Yes but I don't think I can manage putting words into sentences right now," Paul replied. Gina let her hand creep up his neck and her fingers twisted the hair on the back of it. "I mean, it was good to get all that out earlier. It needed to be said."
          "Right," Gina nodded, enjoying Paul's discomfort.
          "I was everything you said and I'm a horrible, selfish human being that doesn't deserve to be…" his voice trailed off as she dropped a kiss on his cheek. "Genie?"
          "Yes Pauly," Gina replied, all her fingers still toying with his hair.
          "What happened this afternoon. Did you fake it?" Gina started to giggle and buried her face into his shoulder. "I've been beating myself up all afternoon for…"
          "You've gotta stop doing that," Gina breathed, lifting her head. "You're not a horrible human being. You just made a mistake."
          "Then why do I feel bad?" Paul sighed.
          "Let's find out," Gina smiled and took his hand. "Come on," she added and led him toward the bedroom. She switched on the small bedside light and pulled Paul in front of her full length mirror.
          "You want me to look at myself?" Paul asked.
          "Yep," Gina nodded, helping him remove his jacket and throwing it onto the bed. "I want you to take a good, hard look at yourself until you learn to forgive yourself."
          "This is stupid," Paul groused, having always had a dislike of his physical self from a young age.
          "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" Gina asked, standing on her toes and resting her chin on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck.
          "An ugly, hairy little man," Paul breathed.
          "Ugly? Do you know how many women would give important limbs to sleep with you?"
          "I have no desire to sleep with amputees," Paul mused. "And if you say good things come in small packages I will throw something at you."
          "Don't change the subject," Gina cussed.
          "Sorry, where was I? Oh that's right, self loathing," Paul muttered.
          "Want to know what I see?"
          "Let me guess? A sexy, intelligent man…"
          "I see this guy that's kinda been thrust into my life. He's a complex character but that doesn't phase me. He's everything from warm and loving to cheeky, and intelligent. The main thing I love about this guy though is he has this power over me that no one has ever had before. When I'm with him he gives the confidence to do things I couldn't fathom doing normally from just dressing a little different to hosting dinner parties."
          "Know what drives me nuts about the gorgeous blonde draped over my shoulder?" Paul asked.
          "What?"
          "That she's the reason I've been so angry."
          "Because I wouldn't get angry?"
          "No, because I realised I need you, like really need you."
          "What brought you to that conclusion?"
          "Have you any idea what a disaster it would have been if I'd been left to do the dinner party? I don't even have any food in my fridge at home!"
          "So you need me to cook?"
          "And clean," Paul agreed and then smiled. "And point out to me what a dick I am."
          "Now that I can do," Gina agreed.
          "You know I actually don't know that I could do anything without you anymore, which is pretty scary," Paul declared and twisted around to face her.
          "Yeah, it is," Gina nodded. "I think we need to stop the D&Ms for a while."
          "Yeah," Paul pouted. "Know what I'd like now?" he added huskily, his hands caressing her back.
          "What?" Gina whispered, desperately wanting to kiss him.
          "A sandwich," Paul grinned. "I don't have any food at home."
          "You arse," Gina smiled and pushed him away. "And if you think after last night I'm going to make it for you…"
          "Would I do a thing like that?" Paul gasped. "It's ok for me to raid your fridge right?"
          "Yeah, there's leftover chicken," Gina mused as she watched him bound out of the room. She could hear him humming away in the kitchen and was about to join him when there was a buzzing from the direction of the bed. Gina noticed Paul's jacket vibrating unusually and realised it was his phone and it was muffled. She leaned over the bed and fished it out of the pocket.
          "Hello."
          "Uh hi," a female voice replied. "This is Paul's phone right?"
          "Yes, sorry, he's indisposed at the moment."
          "Oh right."
          "Can I take a message and I'll get him to call you back."
          "Sure, thanks, just tell him it Jo, I'm back and I'm dying to see him."
          "Right, will do," Gina declared, wondering who the hell this woman was.
          "Oh and tell him that I love him, thanks." Jo's final words ended with the phone clicking off and Gina was greeted with the dial tone.
          "Love him," Gina mumbled, ended the call and marched out of the room to find Paul.

          Paul was looking pleased at the large sandwich he had created and had just lifted it to his mouth when Gina appeared.
          "Your phone rang so I answered it," she declared.
          "Anyone interesting?" Paul asked, taking a bite out of his sandwich.
          "A woman, Jo."
          "Jo!" Paul gasped and gagged on his mouthful. "What did she say?" he added, thumping his chest to dislodge the food.
          "Well, she's back and she's dying to see you," Gina replied.
          "Oh, good."
          "And she loves you."
          "Not good."
          "Who is she Paul?" Gina sighed, placing his phone on the breakfast bar and crossing her arms.
          "Um well," Paul flustered giving up on his sandwich entirely. "I was seeing her before I met you. She went overseas."
          "So, she's what? Your girlfriend that you haven't dumped?" Gina asked.
          "She's more kinda my fiancee," Paul swallowed.
          "How can she be kinda your fiancee?" Gina gasped.
          "Well I thought she was what I wanted but then when I really thought about it I realised I was just having a bit of a midlife crisis and was scared of getting old and being alone."
          "Oh bull, you got bored because she wasn't around and found someone else, me," Gina spat. "Oh my god, I'm nearly your mistress. What would my mother say?"
          "It's not what it looks like!" Paul wailed.
          "So she knows she's not your fiancée then?"
          "Well no, but I planned to tell her, I did."
          "This is like some bad soap opera," Gina groaned. "All we need now is my ex-husband with his third wife who's actually my cousin and your alcoholic mother with the one leg."
          "You have an ex-husband?"
          "You know, I don't say it often enough," Gina scowled. "You're an idiot."