Paul yawned as he unlocked the door to Gina's apartment and stepped inside. He'd been grudgingly awake since 6:30am since it was a Friday and he'd had to put in an appearance at Triple J. Gina appeared to still be in bed and Paul decided not to wake her and get comfortable on the couch instead. He left his bag beside the couch, his jacket was thrown into a chair and his shoes under the coffee table as he snuggled into a cushion and tried valiantly to convince himself to sleep.

          He'd just let out a relaxed sigh into the cotton weave fabric of the cushion when the peaceful silence was shattered by the hum of the vacuum cleaner.
          "What the fuck are you doing woman?" Paul groaned, not bothering to open his eyes.
          "Do you have an inability to clean up after yourself?" Gina scorned as she gathered up his belongings and carried them into the bedroom. She returned seconds later, the vacuum still filling the room with noise and started cleaning around the couch.
          "Is that really necessary?" Paul asked, briefly opening one of his eyes.
          "We're having guests for dinner," Gina replied like it was obvious to why she was doing what she was.
          "Yeah dinner," Paul groused. "That's like hours away."
          "Seven, we told everyone seven."
          "Right."
          "So the place needs to be clean."
          "Genie your home is the epitome of cleanliness."
          "I haven't dusted in two days thank you."
          "I haven't dusted…ever."
          "Yeah well you're a lazy arse," Gina declared and slapped his leg as she bent down to fish out a discarded magazine from under the couch.
          "Lazy? Which one of us was up at 6:30 huh?" Paul jeered, switching off the vacuum cleaner as it passed him.
          "Hey," Gina squeaked and went to switch it back on. Paul stuck his hand over the button and she tried to wrestle it off but as scrawny as he was he was still physically stronger than her. She dropped the nozzle and darted forward to tickle him.
          "Don't tickle me I'm tired," Paul wailed as he quickly took to protecting his armpits.
          "Well leave my Vax alone!" Gina demanded.
          "Are you going to be a cleaning freak all day?"
          "No, I'll be cooking too," Gina smirked and found herself quickly pulled onto the couch. Her head rested on Paul's shoulder while her feet still dangled over the side of the couch. "You are gonna help me right?"
          "Now why would you want my help? What am I gonna do?"
          "I'll find things for you to do."
          "Oh so this is how its gonna be from now on is it? I'll be your little minion."
          "I like the emphasis on the little," Gina teased as Paul's fingers tickled her stomach making her giggle.
          "I'm gonna tell everyone tonight how nasty you are to me," Paul declared with a wry smile. Gina shrugged off the threat and teasingly lifted her head to nibble at one of his ears. "I'll tell them how you beat me and…what the hell are you doing?"
          "You don't like it?" Gina asked, her lips moving to his neck.
          "It's a novel way to clean the wax from my ears."
          Gina lifted her head and looked at him bewildered. "How you ever got the brain cells together to get famous is beyond me."
          "This from a blonde," Paul cackled. Gina let out a gasp and slapped his stomach. "See you do beat me!"
          "You're not getting what was coming either," Gina chided pulling herself up from the couch and crawling over Paul to get back to her vacuum cleaner.
          "Well if what was coming was me then obviously not," Paul grinned. Gina rolled her eyes and switched the vacuum back on. Paul let out a heavy sigh and sat up. "I'll pop home and grab some music, find something to wear etc," he yelled over the noise of Gina cleaning.
          "Ok," she nodded pausing to rearrange some magazines as Paul nipped into the bedroom to find his shoes.

          By the time Paul had explained his address to a rather angry Lebanese taxi driver with a death wish, been accosted by one of his neighbours about a petition for recycling the water from the apartment block and discovering the lift was out and he had to take what felt like ten million flights of stairs, he was even more exhausted than he had been. He quickly found some clothes which he shoved into a bag, located a couple of decent CD's for backing music while they ate and lay on the couch to listen to his answering machine messages. Paul heard only his mother asking him to call before his eyes became heavy and he decided a few minutes of shut eye wouldn't hurt.

          Gina paced the kitchen late in the afternoon. She'd been on a cleaning binge all day and was still unsatisfied with the result but there was nothing she could do to make the toilet gleam much more than it was. The dinner was well an truly on its way, the various smells filling the lofty apartment and she'd even found time to whip up a chocolate mud cake for dessert. The only thing really bothering Gina was where the hell Paul had got to. He'd promised to help but instead hadn't even made an appearance.
          "Fucking hell, I'm so, so sorry," Paul announced, hurrying into the kitchen with his bag slung over one shoulder.
          "Where have you been?" Gina scorned as she carefully draped a royal blue tablecloth over the polished wooden table.
          "I fell asleep," Paul winced looking at his watch. "I better jump in the shower," he added and quickly left the room.
          "Well don't you want to…" Gina cut herself off as the bathroom door closed loudly. She took several deep breaths in an attempt to alleviate the tension and took to laying out the plates and cutlery when really all she wanted to do was strangle Paul with a loofah. Gina looked over her finished table which included a rather nice floating candle display and counted that she had enough set places. There was Mikey and Laura, Rich and Khym, Amanda and her husband Peter and Danny plus herself and Paul.

          When Gina was finally satisfied she descended to the bedroom where she changed into the outfit she'd decided on earlier. A knee length floral skirt, a three-quatre length sleeved top that was pink to match some of the flowers in the skirt and a pair of strappy sandals. Gina left her hair loose but put on a little make-up and perfume. She wanted Paul's friends to like her as much as hers liked him. Paul's friends meant a lot to him and while she already seemed to have trouble with Mikey, Gina hoped Rich was more forthcoming.
          "Are you wearing a skirt?" Paul remarked, sauntering into the room. His shirt was undone and his skin and hair still looked damp.
          "Yeah, why? Does it look bad?" Gina asked quickly. Paul rubbed his chin, cocked his head to the side and studied her for a moment.
          "It makes you seem very girlie," he eventually announced.
          "Oh."
          "It's good," Paul nodded. "Makes you seem less scary."
          "Gee thanks," Gina huffed.
          Paul smiled and she forgave him in a second. "You look beautiful, really, you do."
          "I just want your friends to like me," Gina pouted as Paul sat on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes and socks.
          "They'll love you."
          "Mikey doesn't."
          "Mikey's a dickwit," Paul groused. "Besides, I like you and that's all that matters."
          "Sweet talker," Gina mused as Paul got to his feet and looked proudly at the accomplishment of tying his shoes.
          "It’s like sugar flows from my lips," he grinned as Gina moved closer to share a quick kiss with him. Her fingers gently stoked his exposed skin and Paul had to fight back the urge to ravish her.
          "Oh that's the oven," Gina panted as a tinny beeping sound emanated from the kitchen. They shared another brief kiss before she dashed off to the kitchen as Paul tried to convince the blood to flow back to his brain. He finished buttoning his shirt as there was a knock at the door.
          "I'll get it," Paul called into the kitchen as he hurried to the door where he scooted to a halt and took several breaths to steady his breathing.
          "Aw, did you dress up just for me?" Danny smirked as Paul opened the door.
          "Even hunted out my best thong," Paul chided as they strolled toward the kitchen.
          "Hi Dan," Gina chirped from where she was stirring pots on the stove. "Oh you got the wine, fantastic."
          "I could have got the wine," Paul pouted as Danny produced the bottles from a plastic liquor shop bag and slid them into the fridge.
          "Yeah you could have, had you been present when I was organising everything," Gina groused.
          "You guys aren't fighting already are you?" Danny teased.
          "Of course we're not," Paul huffed.
          "I'm in denial," Gina added as there was another knock at the door and Paul hurried from the kitchen to answer it.
          "Are you guys really fighting?" Danny asked, leaning against the sideboard.
          "You know I cleaned this place from top to bottom, you can see your face in the fucking porcelain and I've slaved all afternoon on the food and he swans in just in time to greet the guests," Gina spat.
          "I'm gonna take that as a yes and see who’s here," Danny breathed cautiously and backed out of the kitchen.

          "Hey mate," Rich grinned as Paul opened the door.
          "Rich," Paul smiled and the men wrapped each other up in a hug. He disentangled himself and turned to Rich's wife. "Khym, you're looking stunning. Why are you with him?"
          "I'm going to ask Gina the same question," Khym replied cheekily as they gave each other a friendly embrace.
          "When do I get introduced?" Danny whined. "I want to hug people too."
          "I thought you said she was blonde?" Rich teased.
          "Fuckwit," Paul sighed. "That's Dan, he's a work colleague of Genie's."
          "You mean the place is gonna be packed with journos?" Rich asked as he and Danny shook hands.
          "With Dictaphones strapped to our thighs," Danny quipped as Gina appeared from the kitchen, her cheeks were red from the heat of the stove. She felt the whole scene was slightly surreal and had to remind herself that it wasn't that strange to have famous comedians littering your living room.
          "And this is Genie," Paul piped up, forcing Gina to move closer and focus. "Genie this is Rich and his lovely wife Khym." Khym rolled her eyes and instantly reached a hand out to Gina.
          "It's finally a pleasure to meet you," she smiled as Paul looked more than happy with himself. "We've heard nothing but him going on and on about you for ages now."
          "Never let him break up with you again, I can't handle it when grown men cry," Rich added.
          "That's a lie!" Paul gasped. "I never cried."
          "He did, right into his beer," Rich mused, leaning forward and whispering into Gina's ear, making her giggle.
          "What did he say?" Paul asked, a slight sense of panic in his voice.
          "If you stood on this side you would have heard," Danny declared from the side of Gina that Rich hadn't whispered to. Gina promptly slapped his arm.
          "So are you going to be the one to finally tame Paul?" Khym asked with a wry smile.
          "Tame him? I don't need to tame him," Gina laughed. "He's already wrapped around my little finger."
          "She's got a vivid imagination," Paul jeered.
          "Go check the vegies," Gina ordered looking at Paul. They stared at each other a moment. "Go on."
          "Damn you," Paul muttered, turning and heading into the kitchen.
          "Well done," Rich grinned. "I like you already."
          "Thanks," Gina blushed as another knock pounded on the door. "Excuse me, I'll just get that," she added and made her way over to the door.

          Rich decided to see how Paul was doing in the kitchen as Danny and Khym fell into what was either a political discussion or what the latest plot line was on The Bold and the Beautiful.
          "She's cute," Rich declared as he found Paul checking the potatoes.
          "I know," Paul replied his attention focussed more on not burning himself than Gina.
          "And she's got you checking the veggies," Rich laughed.
          "And what's that supposed to mean?" Paul asked, straightening up and closing the oven door.
          "That she either threatened you with violence or you actually love her mate."
          Paul's face went solemn, "It was only once mate, she only came at me once."
          Rich cocked his head to the side. "Admit it, you're besotted."
          "Besotted? Have you not seen her? She has a home, she can cook, she's intelligent, beautiful and has the whole whore in the bedroom thing figured out. The more we're together and the more I get to know her the deeper I fall."
          "Fuck, you've turned on me McDermott, you've changed," Rich wailed, causing them both to crack up.
          "What are you ladies discussing?" Mikey jeered, making his way into the kitchen.
          "What a sap Paul's become," Rich teased.
          "Nauseating isn't it," Mikey agreed.
          "Hey, I'm happy!" Paul chided. "I'm actually happy, you should be happy for me."
          "You used happy way to much in that last sentence," Mikey declared.
          "I'm still trying to work out what a intelligent woman like Gina sees in the little fella," Rich jeered.
          "She sees me for the man I really am," Paul snide.
          "Yeah, short," Mikey cackled and he and Rich gave each other a high five.
          "I hope you both choke," Paul huffed as he took to checking the potatoes again.

          "And the frantic lactating one is Amanda," Gina announced, introducing Amanda and her husband to the others gathered in the living room.
          "Sorry we cut it fine but the babysitter was bloody late," Amanda groused trying to subtly adjust her breast pads. "I don't know why I keep letting that woman look after the kid."
          "Because she's your mother," Peter suggested and was quickly shot down with daggers from his wife.
          "Oh you have a baby?" Laura piped up. "How old is it?"
          "Old enough to demand food but not old enough to wipe its own arse," Amanda sighed then smiled. "Would you like to see a photo?"
          "I should go and make sure dinner hasn't been destroyed," Gina mused, looking to Khym who nodded in agreement and went back to cooing over the pictures of Amanda's baby boy.

          "How do you know when peas are cooked?" Paul asked, looking at Rich who looked at Mikey.
          "Jesus McDermott can't you do anything?" Mikey sighed, stepping forward and snatching the spoon from him.
          "Why is one of the guests cooking dinner?" Gina gasped, stepping into the kitchen.
          "Because he can," Paul replied blankly. "We were discussing the state of peas."
          "Why?"
          "Because Paul can't cook," Rich quipped. Gina rolled her eyes and took a quick look over the vegetables, poking them with a fork to make sure they were cooked.
          "I think everything is ready," she declared. "Want to get the guests seated?"
          "I don't know who’s sitting where," Paul shrugged.
          "I've cooked the entire fucking meal surely showing people to a few chairs won't strain you," Gina hissed. Mikey and Rich let out a high pitched 'Ohhhh' and Paul sneered at them both.

          Eventually Rich and Khym were seated on one side of the table with Amanda and Peter while Mikey, Laura and Danny sat on the other. Paul and Gina were at either end which was probably a good thing because Gina seemed to have a look that indicated she might attack Paul with her fork if he was any closer. The conversation was kept to a minimum with just the brief outburst on a few topics which all seemed to lead back to babies and the men physically cringing.
          "Anyone want anymore wine?" Paul asked as he opened another bottle and poured himself another glass. The men let out a unanimous cry of 'yes' while Amanda looked liked she'd kill for a glass but kept to juice for fear of getting her son drunk on breast milk.
          "So Paul, how'd you meet Gina?" Laura piped up. Mikey and Rich groaned having heard the story every time Paul got drunk and whiny.
          "Amanda set us up," Gina announced, swirling the contents of her glass.
          "It was a slow day," Amanda shrugged. "I wanted to see her freak but look what happened? They bloody fell in love."
          Paul and Gina looked at each other uneasily and quickly averted their eyes back to the last remnants of their meals.
          "We should give a toast to the matchmaker," Khym laughed. "Paul and Gina getting together has actually meant the boys aren't on the phone to each other for hours on end."
          "We have important stuff to talk about thankyou," Paul huffed.
          "Yeah, secret men's business," Rich added.
          "Oh please, I listened in once and you were discussing The Wombles."
          "Hey, they were dedicated environmentalists fighting to save the planet," Paul declared.
          "They're an animated children's programme from the 70s," Laura sighed.
          "I liked Uncle Bulgaria," Mikey piped up.
          "See, we're not the only ones," Rich groused.
          "Overground, underground wombling free. The Wombles of Wimbledon, common are we…" Paul sang.
          "Making good use of the things that we find…" Mikey chimed in.
          "The things that everyday folk leave behind," Rich finished.
          "Men are just so stupid," Amanda sighed. "Including you," she added looking at her husband who had been humming along.
          Gina tried to fight the giggles as she got to her feet and started collection plates.
          "Do you need a hand?" Amanda asked passing her plate to Gina.
          "No, don't be absurd, you're a guest," Gina smiled. While the cleaning up was under way Paul took to ushering the guests back into the living room once again leaving his girlfriend on her own.

          After about ten minutes of anecdotal conversation and more debate of the validity of The Wombles, Danny peered into the kitchen to see Gina leaning against the breakfast bar with her face in a tea towel and looked over at Paul who was perched in an armchair.
          "Don't you think Gina might want some help?" he pointed out. They looked at each other a moment and Paul had a sudden fear that Danny might kill him if he didn't.
          "Talk amongst yourselves," Paul announced getting to his feet. "I'll give you a topic…How would a fascist dictator control Australia and destroy the morale of the people as Saddam has done to Iraq?"
          "Yeah thanks for that," Mikey chided as Paul bounded into the kitchen and stopped when he saw Gina.
          "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.
          "Oh gee let's see shall we?" Gina sniffed. "I've been cleaning and cooking all bloody day. I set the table, seated the guests and now I'm cleaning up as well. I'm fucking exhausted and while our friends have been fantastic guests you've been an absolute bastard and haven't even said thankyou!"
          "Oh, my bad," Paul breathed and stepped closer to her. "Come here," he added, coxing her into his arms. "I'm didn't mean to…I really did fall asleep…I get wrapped up in people and forget all the other stuff."
          "Born entertainer huh?" Gina sighed as he rested his forehead against hers.
          "Something like that," Paul said softly. "I'm such a shit, leave the dishes and I'll do them later."
          "They're already soaking might as well do them now," Gina chided.
          "Yeah, yeah," Paul mused. "Do you hate me?"
          "Yep," Gina breathed as found herself drawn into a kiss. She pulled away and draped the tea towel over his shoulder. "Don't break anything."
          "Oh that's fatal," Paul groused as he turned his attention to the sink stacked with dishes.

          "Where's Pauly?" Mikey asked as Gina sat herself in the abandoned armchair.
          "Doing the dishes," Gina replied as Danny smirked to himself.
          "You got Paul to do the dishes?" Khym gasped. "If Paul can do the dishes you can do the dishes," she added, glaring at Rich.
          "I'm not whipped like Paul," Rich grinned and then sunk back into the chair he was in when Khym glared at him.
          "I've got an idea," Mikey grinned. "Have you got a camera?" he added looking over at Gina. A few seconds later Paul who was sporting pink rubber gloves and scrubbing a floral plate was blinded by a flash of light. The plate slipped through his fingers and he was lucky to grab it before it dropped to the floor.
          "What the fuck are you doing?" he yelped.
          "I felt we needed to get your glove work on film," Mikey jeered taking another photo.
          "Stop that!" Paul grumbled and tried to grab the camera out of Mikey's hands. They tussled and Paul's soapy, glove clad fingers slipped of the black plastic of the camera and he smacked into the sink sending a bowl from the stack of dirty dishes crashing to the lino floor.
          "Oh no!" Gina groaned in the living room.
          "Um ah, you broke Genie's bowl," Paul gasped.
          "You were the idiot who knocked it to the floor," Mikey groused.
          "You made me," Paul room. "GENIE!"
          "And this is why I don't need children," Gina sighed, getting to her feet and making her way into the kitchen.
          "IT WAS HIM!" Paul and Mikey announced pointing at each other.
          "I think it was your combined stupidity," Laura sighed, appearing beside Gina and looking at the chips of crockery on the floor. "Sorry about your bowl," she added.
          "It's ok, it's on my current list of reason why Paul is never getting laid again," Gina perked and headed back into the living room.
          "Idiot," Mikey scorned trying to dry the camera with the tea towel.
          "Fuckwit," Paul groused snatching the tea towel back.

          The rest of the evening was spent mostly listening to Paul and Rich's stories that all began with "We'd been drinking in Edinburgh/Montreal/London…" and ended up with "We were naked/there was lots of profanity/we ran from the police." There were a few discussions on politics and the women fell into a hysterical debate on how stupid men are much to the men's disgust.

          By the time the last of the guests left Gina was yawning every half a second and just wanted to crawl into bed.
          "You did a fantastic job with everything," Paul declared as Gina pulled on her pyjamas.
          "It's a bit late for that don't you think?" Gina declared as she disappeared into the bathroom to wash her make-up off and clean her teeth. Paul quickly stripped to his boxers and caught up with her as she wiped the last of the eye shadow off.
          "Can't a man compliment his girlfriend?" he asked, grabbing his toothbrush.
          "Sure, but you wouldn't care if I hadn't brought it up earlier," Gina pointed out as she too started brushing her teeth.
          "I would too care," Paul pouted after his spat his mouthful of paste into the sink.
          "Course you would," Gina groused as they finished their teeth brushing in silence.
          "I thought we were cool?" Paul persisted as they went back to the bedroom.
          "I thought I said I hated you," Gina remarked as she snuggled beneath the covers.
          "I thought you were kidding," Paul wailed.
          "Well you thought wrong," Gina huffed and closed her eyes tightly. A short while later she was asleep and Paul lay watching her. He couldn't sleep, he felt so guilty about not being more useful and was annoyed at himself for upsetting her. He wanted to snuggle in beside her but didn't feel like he deserved to after the useless male he'd been all day. The problem now of course wasn't what he'd done but how did he fix it. Paul leaned over and dropped a soft kiss on her cheek then grabbed his pillow and a blanket and took himself off to sleep on the couch.