It felt like it was 4000 degrees celsius as Penny reached the front gate of her home. Her car had unceremoniously died in a fit of smoke three days earlier and she'd been forced to walk, in the searing heat on Christmas Day the twenty three minutes it took to get home. It seemed that every excitable cherubin child had decided to dance mockingly under the cool water of their sprinklers as she drudged up the tatty concrete footpath. Nero was particularly pissed off being swung about in his cat carrier as she dragged herself through the few shaded spots that remained after the council had decided lopping the native flora was a good idea.
Penny breathed a sigh of relief as she trekked up the stone driveway, the image of the jug of cold water in her fridge taunting her as she fiddled for her keys. As she rounded a rather pathetic looking bush that marred the view of the front door, she paused and her heart did a back flip. Sitting dejectedly on her doormat was Chris who wobbled slightly when he noticed her.
�Hey Pen!� He smiled and she realised he had a beer in one hand.
�What are you doing here?� she asked, placing Nero�s cat box on the porch.
�I was passing,� Chris said with a coy smile, realised she wasn�t smiling and focused his attention back on the beer. �I brought beer but you took so long I started without ya.�
Penny rolled her eyes and noticed his car was parked across the road, she�d been so distracted with the heat she hadn�t even noticed. �I don�t drink beer.�
�Well no, that was the other reason I decided to drink it,� he pouted and Penny let out a sigh. She looked over his rather inappropriate summer attire of slacks, shirt and tie and shook her head.
�What are you really doing here Chris?�
�Where�s Tony the Pony?� he asked, more comical than sarcastic. �Thought you and him would be busy celebrating the day with dinner, expensive gifts and hot, hot sex.�
Penny crouched down, closer to the cool concrete and took Chris�s beer from him. �As far as I know Tony has gone to the Seychelles with a lovely young blonde called Leonie,� she mused. �And you Mr Waylon-Jones need to stop drinking.�
He nodded sadly and then looked at her with what were clearly bloodshot eyes. �Was I a bad boyfriend?�
Penny laughed. �No, if anything you were probably too good.�
�Oh,� Chris breathed as he lined up his other empty stubbies against the wall. �Was Tony a good boyfriend-very-nearly-husband?�
�No, that would be why he�s in the Seychelles,� Penny declared, straightening up again. She leaned past him to unlock the door and then stepped back to grab Nero in his box.
�Are you leaving now?� Chris asked miserably as he got to his feet rather atrociously and managed to stumble into a fern.
�Only so far as the kitchen,� Penny mused, brushing past him and opening the flyscreen door. She stopped and looked at where he was pressed up against the living room window. �Would you like to come in?�
�Yes,� Chris nodded. �After all that beer I�m dying for a piss.�
Penny�s lips curled into a smile and she shook her head. �Then don�t let me stop you,� she chided and held the door open so he could stagger in.
�Where are you going?� Kirsty�s mother piped up as she looked over some cheap notelets someone had given her earlier that day.
�Home,� Kirsty replied. �Or I might just drive over a cliff, it depends on how depressed I get by the time I reach home.�
�There aren�t any cliffs near where you live,� her mother remarked.
�Fine, I�ll find a road hump,� Kirsty groused, grabbing her assortment of gifts and stalking out to her car. She dumped everything on the passenger seat, turned the engine on and left before anyone could call her back.
It took her two minutes to get home but she sped past and decided she�d just keep driving until something happened to make her want to go home. With the air conditioner turned on full and the radio turned up loud, staying alone in her car was a far more enjoyable option anyway. She drove singing loudly to the radio and trying to ignore which direction she was heading in. The roads were fairly sparse with only a few wearily families heading home with small children passed out in their seats, their little arms full of brand new toys, and foreigners who didn�t celebrate the occasion sharing the road.
About an hour later Kirsty parked her car in the shadiest spot she could find and unclipped her seat belt. She leaned back and surveyed where she�d ended up and was slightly annoyed she�d driven all the way across town to Ross�s apartment. The radio spewed out some horrendous love song as she wondered if he was even home. They hadn�t talked in two weeks, she�d been so angry with him for giving into Sasha that she�d even avoided him at work. Well, avoided to the point that she only allowed herself to ogle him from her desk. It wasn�t like he�d even tried to contact her to apologise for being a dickhead and Kirsty wondered if he hadn�t reconciled with Sasha or something equally bad for the world at large.
She gingerly slid out of her car and headed for the entrance when she heard another car pull up. She looked over her shoulder to see a taxi pull up and Ross stumbled out clutching two tacky Christmas bags full of gifts. He saw the driver off and then headed toward where Kirsty had become inexplicably frozen to the spot. The closer he go the drier her throat got and the faster her heart beat. In all honesty she wanted to be stoic, lie convincingly and leave but in reality she was going to cave in the second he looked at her.
Ross averted his attention from one of the bags and looked up, he stopped dead and Kirsty wondered if he wasn�t about to tell her to get lost.
�Hi,� he said thoroughly surprised. �What�re you doing here?�
�I felt like a drive,� Kirsty managed weakly.
�Oh, how was your day?� he asked as he put his bags down and removed his sunglasses.
�Mine?� Kirsty gasped. �Oh, it was great we always have a ball,� she lied. �You?�
�Me? Best Christmas ever�yeah,� he declared not sounding thoroughly convinced himself. They fell into an uncomfortable silence and avoided eye contact. �So you really had a good day then?� Ross breathed catching her eyes for the first time.
Kirsty swallowed, her resolve crumbling. �No.�
�At least you didn�t have to endure church stories, shitty presents and a horny sister-in-law,� Ross soothed and the tension started to thin.
�Horny sister-in-law?�
�It�s a long story,� Ross shrugged and wiped several beads of sweat from his forehead. �If you want to hear all the gory details you�re welcome to come up with me.�
�About your horny sister-in-law?� Kirsty queried not wanting to talk about the woman in least. Ross raised an eyebrow. �Oh, right,� she added and smiled as he led the way inside.
�Why can�t they put cartoons on like they did when I was a kid,� Julia groused as she surfed through the television channels and eventually settled on the 10,000th repeat of the Christmas pageant. The air conditioner was blasting a pleasant stream of cold air into the room, well, the only room it could reach and after a rather tedious and tiring day Julia was starting to doze. Her eyes had just closed when the doorbell rang shrilling and she jumped, causing TimTam who�d been perched on her legs to tumble onto the floor, narrowly missing the coffee table.
Julia grudgingly got to her feet and plodded to the door. When she opened it she was surprised to see Liam standing there looking melancholy. She crossed her arms and looked at him sternly as she wondered why after sleeping with her he hadn�t waited for her to wake, called and things had been horribly uncomfortable between them.
�Did you want something?� she asked coolly.
�She�s taking Jack away,� he mumbled. �She says it�s for a holiday but I know she wants to take him for good.�
Julia opened the flyscreen door and moved aside. �Who�s she and why is she taking Jack?�
�She is Tessa, my ex and she�s taking him to his Uncle�s up North for a couple of weeks,� Liam replied as he wandered into the living room and sat miserably on the couch.
�Well that�s not so bad,� Julia shrugged as she sat beside him.
�You don�t understand,� Liam wailed, his hands clenched tightly together. �I barely see him as it is because his mum and step-dad are always taking him back to their native lands. She�s always wanted to move back there permanently and if they do I�ll never see my kid.�
�Have you talked to her about it?� Julia asked, trying her best to be sympathetic.
�We don�t so much talk as yell loudly,� Liam sighed and buried his face in his hands. �He�s my son, I have a say in his future right? He hates up there, I want him to be like the other kids y�know. Then he might have a fucking chance in life. If he goes up there he�ll just end up an alcoholic or a petrol sniffer.�
�That�s a bit harsh,� Julia breathed and squeezed his shoulder. �He could just as easily become an alcoholic or a heroin addict here?�
�Over my dead body,� groused Liam. �I want him to go to a good school, get an education and have a future. There aren�t many of my people who have that opportunity but I can give my son that. I�m not a bloody accountant because I enjoy it.�
�That makes two of us then,� Julia mused, trying to lighten the situation. Liam looked at her blankly and then rested his head on her shoulder.
�I worked two jobs to pay my way through TAFE not to mention repeated Year 12 three times to get the marks to get into TAFE. I worked my arse off to get those qualifications then I begged and pleaded until someone employed me and all for my son, so I had something to offer him and he had someone to look up to.�
�Hey, I�m sure he�s very proud of his father,� Julia breathed, wrapping her arms around him. �Hell you�re better at your job than I am and I went to Uni,� she added and Liam let out a long sigh. �So where�d the football come from?�
�After my father died I was sent to some relatives in the Northern Territory. I was spotted by a football scout and was sent to Adelaide. There were a few teams interested but I turned them down so I could get a real job.�
�You don�t love footy?� Julia gasped wondering if it was wrong to be miffed he wasn�t an AFL star but then quashing that idea because she would never have met him otherwise.
�Oh I love footy, it�s why I play reserves,� Liam sighed. �But there are more important things in life at the moment.�
�Right,� Julia nodded as they fell quiet. �So, just for my sake here. Am I one of those important things? It�s just y�know, I�m a tad confused.�
�Of course you are,� Liam smiled lazily and kissed her cheek. �Just below Jack and football.�
She gave him a sideways glance. �You�re so lucky it�s Christmas.�
�This might seem light an absurd question,� Penny mused as she reappeared from the kitchen with a tall glass of ice cold water. �But why are you dressed like that?�
�Mother�s Christmas celebrations,� Chris replied, lolling about on the couch. �It�s always formal you see. Apart from Joe, he wore a lovely tie-dyed caftan and brown sandals.�
�I�m sure Angie was thrilled,� Penny laughed, sitting herself in an armchair.
�She was fine until I gave my Porsche to him to sell for charity,� Chris smiled. �She yelled so much she turned purple.�
�You mean even with her botox she can turn purple?�
�Actually, with the weather, hot food and her anger it started to sag in her cheeks,� Chris sniggered. �Dad thought it was hysterical and Aunt Rhonda had to silence him with a mince pie.�
�Well it sounds more exciting than my Christmas Day,� Penny sighed. �I watched Star Trek with mum and ate take-away.�
Chris cocked his head to the side. �That�s really very unseasonal of you.�
�Well, we�re not huge on celebrating Christmas in my family anyway,� she shrugged. �I mean we�re generally unhappy so it seems a waste to even attempt to create a jovial atmosphere.�
�Did I make you unhappy,� Chris pouted, sliding down the couch until he was lying.
�No,� Penny giggled. �You made me very happy.�
�So why�d you go back to Pony.�
�Tony.�
�What did I say?�
�Pony.�
�Oh,� Chris said blankly. �Answer the question.�
�I never went back to Pony,� Penny chided and Chris sat himself up a little. �I guess I was just foolish.�
�Obviously, since he�s in the Seychelles with Leonie,� Chris nodded.
Penny rested her glass on the coffee table. �I feel like I�m not worthy of you. So when Tony suggested we try again I used it as a way to get out.�
�Not worthy? You think you�re only worthy of some guy who you very-nearly married?� Chris exclaimed looking mortified.
�I never went back to him,� Penny breathed, glad to finally tell the truth. It felt like the yoke was gone from around her neck and the monkey had been forcefully removed from her back. �I just thought you might realise one day that I wasn�t even close to being in your league��
�What league? Pen, I�ll give all my money to a fucking dog charity if it it�ll make you happy!� Chris declared, sitting up fully. �I don�t see how we�re any different if anything you�re a far better person than me. You�ve not lived your life hanging off hand outs from mummy�s purse, no silver spoon. You worked damn hard, you fought and you�re still fighting,� he looked around her modest home. �I was attracted to you the millisecond we met, I was attracted because you�re smart and beautiful and not some pretentious bloody private school harpy who mummy thinks is good breeding material.�
Penny felt the emotion rising in her throat, it wasn�t something that she allowed herself to feel very often but here was a gorgeous, intelligent, well off man, everything she�d ever wanted, looking at her like his heart might break if she didn�t take him back. �Oh Chris,� she breathed, the tears pricking at her eyes.
�I miss you Pen, and Bear misses you,� Chris swallowed, biting his lip. �We want you back.�
Penny pulled herself up from the armchair and fell into his lap, back into his arms. She held him as tightly as she could, revelling in the way he smelled of sweat, beer and aftershave and how safe and right it felt and he in turn held her just as tightly back as he whispered delirious professions of love.
�So, why is your sister-in-law horny?� Kirsty asked as Ross led her into the kitchen. He dumped his bags on the table and started hunting out clean glasses.
�Diane,� Ross began and paused to look at her. �Has some unnerving crush on me and takes every family occasion to try and get into my pants,� he finished as he finally located some glasses.
�What does your brother think of that?� Kirsty mused as she glanced in Ross�s bags of presents. �The Don?�
�Mark�s too much of a wanker to notice anything,� Ross shrugged as he poured them both a glass of juice.
�So have you ever been tempted by Diane?�
�We had a drunken pash once,� Ross said nonchalantly, handing her a glass. �But it really wasn�t worth it.�
�No?� Kirsty queried, sipping her juice.
�Nah, it�ll be more fun when Mark finally finds out his youngest is actually the product of a one stand between Diane and cousin Alex,� he finished with a grin.
Kirsty mouth fell open. �What a strange family you have.�
�If you�re lucky one day I�ll tell you about what Uncle Frank and Aunt Marie do every fourth Sunday.�
�One day?� Kirsty said raising an eyebrow. �Before or after you wear the lovely beige cardigan with matching waistcoat.�
�Stop looking through my stuff,� Ross chided and leaned against the breakfast bar. �So how you been?�
�Oh you know,� Kirsty shrugged. �Trying to remember how to live between miserably waiting for the phone to ring and bursting into tears at inappropriate moments.�
Ross looked at the floor for a moment. �I was gonna call.�
�So was I,� Kirsty breathed. �But then I thought you might have reunited with Sasha.�
�No, hell would have to freeze over first,� Ross groused, taking another sip of his juice.
�Then why didn�t you call?�
He lifted his head and looked at her sheepishly. �I felt like a fucking idiot! Not only did I give away my important savings to Cruella DeVille but I took my frustration out on you.�
�I think we both got pretty heated,� Kirsty sighed. �I mean I shouldn�t have got all righteous on you.�
�Ah but you see, that�s the thing,� Ross declared, putting his glass down. �We were in a relationship and you had every right to question my motives. Isn�t that part of what being in a relationship is? Being honest with each other? And I outright lied to you. No, so you have every right to hate me.�
�Have you been reading Cosmo?� Kirsty asked looking at him strangely. �Anyway, if I hated you would I be here?�
�Good point,� Ross nodded. �Why are you here and don�t give me that �just passing� shit again.�
�Well,� Kirsty began and took a sharp breath. �Despite you being childish, domestically challenged, a comedian and suffering from severe idiotic bouts I think you�re kinda cute and despite my better judgement, I�m tragically in love with you.�
�Oh,� Ross nodded and walked toward her as he wrung his hands. �Well even though you�re hot headed, extremely bossy, a writer who never actually does any writing and often overcome with blondeness, I do find you the most impossibly alluring women I�ve ever met,� he stopped and looked at her seriously. �I�m sorry to say but�� he let out a sigh then looked up and caught her eyes. �I�m in love with you too.�
�Bastard,� Kirsty said breathlessly as they wrapped each other up in a tight hug.
�I miss you like hell,� Ross whispered. �And I don�t know how to work the washing machine.�
Kirsty giggled as she pulled away from his shoulder. �Remind me to thank Santa for giving me exactly what I wanted for Christmas.�
�Can I be Santa?� Ross grinned and they both started to snigger before falling into a long awaited kiss.
�Was there a reason things went weird between us after, well, y�know?� Julia asked as she and Liam snuggled on the couch together.
�What? Oh yeah, sorry,� Liam mumbled in an attempt to avoid the topic. �I�m not very good with morning afters.�
�Oh, well it wasn�t bad,� Julia declared as she leaned into him. Liam stoked her arm gently. �The sex that is.�
�No, well, I was there and I enjoyed it,� Liam shrugged. �I guess it was just kinda weird.�
�Oh right, nice to know I have that effect on people.�
�It�s been a hectic couple of weeks you know. I mean with Christmas and office parties and Jack,� Liam breathed and kissed the top of her head. �I didn�t mean to neglect you.�
�Ah, it�s ok,� Julia smiled and looked up at him. �I�ll forgive you this time.�
�Damn right you will woman,� Liam chided and brought his lips to hers for what felt like their billionth kiss since he arrived. �Y�know it�s awfully quiet around here.�
�I know,� Julia agreed. �Usually Kirsty and Pen are here and we watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.�
�Christmas tradition?�
�Something like that, it�s a good movie to gorge yourself to,� Julia mused. �Maybe I�ll text them both, see where they are.� She leaned forward and grabbed her phone from the coffee table. �Hmm, what should I say?�
�What about �where are you?��
�That�s hardly original,� Julia pouted and then shrugged and decided to send the message to both her friends. A few seconds later her phone beeped excitedly and there was a message from Kirsty.
�Well?� Liam asked, glancing at the glowing mobile phone.
�She said �with Ross between my thighs,�� Julia mused as her phone burst into life. The ringtone caused a small earthquake before she answered it. �Hello?�
�Why do you want to know?� came Penny�s giggly reply.
�Well usually we watch Charlie at this time,� Julia declared. �What are you giggling about?�
�You don�t want to know,� Penny announced and then shrieked with laughter.
A wry smile spread across Julia�s lips. �Is Chris there?�
�Why yes I am,� Chris declared suddenly taking over the phone. �Anyway, I�m feeling excitable so get Kirsty and Mutt and you and the lovely Princess to my little abode and we�ll get smashed and have a pool party.�
�Yes because alcohol and pools are always a safe mix,� Penny said in the background.
�OK,� Julia giggled. �When do you want us there?�
�ASAP Sunshine,� Chris perked, Penny let out another shriek. �Later,� he added and hung up.
�I do believe we�re going to Chris�s to get smashed and have a pool party but as far as I can tell he�s half canned already,� Julia mused as she found Kirsty�s number and pressed the call button. It rang for a while before it was answered by a rather out of breath Kirsty.
�Yes,� she panted.
�Please tell me you�re out of breath from running,� Julia winced not needing a further mental image.
�Ok sure, I ran into the kitchen to retrieve my phone,� Kirsty remarked. �Now what the fuck do you want?�
�Well if you�re going to be rude��
�Jools! I�m rather unrobed at the moment, standing on lino in the direct line of the air conditioner - SO HURRY UP!�
�I really didn�t need that image,� Julia sighed. �Chris wants us all at his place for a pool party.�
�Will there be alcohol?� Ross asked over Kirsty�s shoulder.
�Yes, I believe so,� Julia replied.
�Woohoo! I�m off to find my pants,� Ross whooped from somewhere in his apartment.
�Right, we�ll see you soon then,� Kirsty mused and Julia could tell she was distracted by something, namely Ross and his current position without his pants.
They ended the call and Julia let out a sigh. �It�s funny how things work out.�
�Eh, it�s Christmas babe,� Liam mused. �And Santa provided them with something to unwrap.�
�Yeah a box of flavoured condoms and some banana flavoured lubricant,� Julia laughed as she got to her feet. �Don�t ask me how I know that��