"What are they doing? Pashing in an alley?" Chris remarked as the group started walking slowly down the mall.
          "There's Ross," Kirsty piped up. "Where's Liam?" she asked as they came to a stop at an artistic sculpture known affectionately as "The Malls Balls."
          "We had a run in with some bigoted old bag. I think she upset him," Ross shrugged.
          "So, where'd he go?" Julia asked.
          "Home I imagine," Ross replied.
          Julia looked liked she'd just been slapped. "Right," she mumbled.
          "Don't worry hon," Kirsty soothed.
          "I think I'm more worried about him than me," Julia sighed.
          "You think we should follow him?" Penny piped up.
          "I'd let him go," Ross announced as they started back down the mall. "He needs time to cool off."
          "What did the woman say?" Penny asked.
          "Well, he was holding me upside down by my ankles…"
          Kirsty started to giggle, "Sorry."
          "…And this woman thought he was attacking me, said that people like him should be locked up."
          "Bitch," Julia spat.
          "Are you guys catching the bus or train?" Chris chimed in.
          "I'm catching the bus," Julia declared. "Don't know what anyone else is doing."
          "We're catching the train," Ross chimed in.
          "Actually, I might go with Jools," Kirsty said sheepishly.
          "I'm not going to hang myself," Julia chided.
          "No, but you shouldn't go home alone. I'd be beside myself with worry."
          "And you're going to save me huh?"
          "She'll bite an attacker’s ankles," Ross jeered and received a slap on his arm for being cheeky. "Ow, hey!"
          "Well, we're catching the train. Chris left his car at Elizabeth," Penny declared as they waited for the signal that it was safe to cross the busy intersection.
          "Hope your car is still there," Kirsty mused as Chris shot her daggers. "Could happen."
          "Don't you catch the 228?" Ross piped up.
          "Yeah," Julia nodded.
          "Well you're about to miss it," he smirked.
          "SHIT!" Julia and Kirsty yelped together and bolted for the bus, which was waiting impatiently at the stop.
          "I don't think we've ever walked to that bus," Penny sighed as she and Chris started walking toward the train station, its large clock glowing luminous over the entrance.
          "I didn't even get a good night kiss," Ross pouted, digging his hands into his pockets and following Penny and Chris.
          Julia and Kirsty fell onto facing seats on the bus.
          "We are so unfit," Kirsty panted.
          "We…really…have to…oh god I have a stitch," Julia gasped. "Learn to get to the bus on time."
          "I agree," Kirsty nodded. "Crap, I forgot to say goodnight to Ross!"
          "He's a big boy, I'm sure he'll cope," Julia mused.
          "Yes but will I?" Kirsty sighed and grabbed her mobile phone.
          "You're not seriously going to call him?" Julia laughed. Kirsty raised an eyebrow. "How pathetic are you?"
          "Don't mock me," Kirsty pouted. "Besides I was going to text him."
          "Oh, the romance," Julia teased. Kirsty shot her daggers and crammed her phone back into her bag. "Don't get shitty, call him if you want, I don't care."
          "I'm choosing not to talk to you," Kirsty scorned and focussed her attention out of the window.
          "Don't not talk to me. It's at least 40 minutes until we get home, please, I'll go mad," Julia pleaded. "I'll start singing Holly Valance songs."

          "I'm knackard," Chris remarked as the train clunked its way along the track back toward Elizabeth. A collection of half-tanked weirdoes and general weirdoes filled the carriage he and Penny were slumped in.
          "Me too," Penny sighed. "Thanks for the perfume."
          "Anytime," Chris smiled as they leaned in to lock lips.
          "Tickets," spat a tired looking ticket inspector. Penny and Chris grabbed their tickets. The inspector moved on as the doors opened and a jumpy looking young man who reeked of pot smoke fell into the seat opposite them. Penny buried her face in Chris's shoulder.
          "G'Day," the young man nodded.
          "Yeah," Chris nodded back.
          "Do you know when this train gets to Outer Harbour?"
          "Outer Harbour? It's going to Gawler?"
          "Is that near Outer Harbour?" The young man asked wiping his nose on the back of his hand.
          "No, it’s the wrong line completely," Penny sighed.
          "Oh, so how do I get to Outer Harbour?"
          "Are you a tourist?" Chris asked knowing full well the man was just an idiot.
          "No I live in Outer Harbour," the young man replied blankly.
          Chris closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, Penny rubbed his arm soothingly, "And to think, we've still got 5 stops to go."

          "You have an uncanny ability to ignore people for long periods of time," Julia remarked as she and Kirsty crossed the road from the bus stop just a short distance from their home.
          "It’s a knack," Kirsty shrugged as they stood on the front doorstep, fumbling in the dark as they had forgotten to leave the outside light on before they'd left. "We'd be in already if you'd remembered to turn the light on before you left."
          "Well, you should have been home to tell me to do it," Julia retorted as she opened the door and flicked the light switch. The pair wandered into the living room and dropped their shopping on the floor.
          "Just in case you've forgotten…Your bedroom's up there," Julia remarked pointing down the hall.
          "Oh ha, ha. I haven't forgotten where my room is you know," Kirsty scorned as she headed in its direction.

          Julia wandered into the kitchen and noticed the answering machine light was flashing. She set the tape to rewind while she went to her bedroom to change. As she was pulling on a clean singlet the machine started to play the messages.
          Julia, it's your mum. I was just calling to say that Lynda's decided we're having a family barbecue and that you're bringing dessert. See you at 6pm-tomorrow night. Bring whomever you like, There'll be plenty of food to go around.

          Kirsty was getting changed in the darkness of her room and laughed as she listened to Julia groan in disgust. Julia grabbed a pair of rolled-up socks and threw them into Kirsty's room. When Julia heard a squeal she guessed she'd hit Kirsty with the socks and giggled to herself before listening to the next message.

          Ah Julia it's Brett Robson here, Harold told me you were looking for some work. I'd like to talk to you if you're interested. Could you come in at 9am-tomorrow morning?

          "Nine am?" Julia gasped as she was hit in the head with the same pair of rolled up socks.
          "Good. It's about time you got your arse out of bed and did something with yourself," Kirsty chided.
          "I've only been unemployed for a week."
          "That's how it starts. First it's one week then you wake up one day and it's been ten years you've got three kids and you're an alcoholic."
          "What? Have you been drinking?"
          "Sorry I'm rambling."
          "You're walking in the countryside with fluffy bunnies and a group of elderly people who have lost control of their bodily functions?"
          "Yes Jools, yes I am," Kirsty sighed. "Moron," she muttered under her breath.
          "I heard that."
          "Good. You're a MORON!" Kirsty shouted.
          "Don't get narky at me 'cos you didn't get any tonight."
          "It's your fault, you gave me a guilt complex."
          "That's right, blame your problems on everyone else."
          "You made me feel guilty about calling my Pookums."
          "Pookums?" Julia asked.
          "What you're deaf as well as a moron?" Kirsty cussed as she walked into the living room.
          "Pookums?" Julia asked bewildered as she remained looking into the hallway.

          Penny and Chris made their way to the house and were almost at the door, when they realised someone was sitting on the front step.
          "Hi Friends!"
          "Oh my dear God," Chris said, reeling as he realised it was Julian.
          "Julian what are you doing here?" Penny sighed.
          "I wanted to go through these figures with you guys."
          "How long have you been waiting here?" Chris asked.
          "Just about four hours now."
          "What?"
          "Can we please look through these figures?"
          "It's 12:32. What makes you think we want to look at figures?" Penny asked.
          "I couldn't sleep. I'm so worried."
          "About the figures?"
          "Yes, I've had many sleepless nights concerning figures."
          "So have I mate," Chris perked. "Mainly buxom blondes."
          "You know, I think Chris would love to look through those figures with you Julian," Penny announced.
          "Pen don't you want to…"
          "No, no. I'll go make us all some coffee," Penny chirped, shooting Chris daggers as she made her way into the kitchen to put the kettle on.
          "I'll be back with you in just a minute Julian," Chris chirped and wandered into the kitchen. "Pen what crawled up your arse?"
          "Mainly buxom blondes," Penny replied as she thumped the coffee mugs down on the draining board.
          "You know I was only joking right?"
          "Of course I do. Doesn't mean I can't make your life hell."
          "Yeah, you've already done that. Thankyou for encouraging Julian to stay."
          "Oh it was my pleasure Darling."
          "Fine. You can sleep in one of the guestrooms then."
          "It'll be the furthest one from your room that's for sure," Penny called after Chris as he stormed out of the kitchen.

          Julia and Kirsty were wide awake even though it was 2am. Largely due to the vast amounts of caffeine they had each consumed during the day.
          "You love Ross," Julia teased.
          "At least I'm getting laid."
          "Yeah, well Liam and I might get somewhere if he didn't have the emotions of a teenage girl."
          "Emotions of a teenage girl, great arse."
          "Yeah. Nice and firm."
          "Oh, so you've grabbed his arse then?"
          "What? You've never grabbed Ross's arse?"
          "I've licked chocolate sauce off Ross's arse."
          "Oh please. I don't need to know that," Julia groaned.
          "I miss my Ross."
          "Bunch of girls the bloody lot of ya," Julia spat. "So do you love him?"
          "Who? Ross?"
          "No the postman."
          "I like our postman. He has a beard!" Kirsty perked happily.
          "Just between you and me…I don't think I'm the moron here."
          "I should have called him."
          "Then you do love him."
          "I've only known him a week."
          "So? You call him Pookums."
          "That was a slip of the tongue."
          "A slip of the tongue with nauseating doe-eyes," Julia mused. "Oh Pookums I love you so much," she jeered.
          "Actually it's more like…Oh Pookums…Harder, harder. God yes Pookums."
          "What worries me is that you said that without any emotion at all."
          There was a knock at the front door and they both jumped before Julia went to answer it.
          "Hey Pookums!" she chirped as Ross stood there looking harassed. He brushed past Julia and flumped on the couch beside Kirsty, who did her best to look unfazed by his sudden appearance.
          "Oh you're here," she said bluntly.
          "I've just traveled from Marion to here using public transport. I've been propositioned, abused, some guy drooled on my shoulder and I've acquired a bag of pot and all you can say is 'Oh you're here.'"
          "Well it’s not like I was expecting you," Kirsty shrugged.
          "I'm sorry, I'll put a fax out next time I have a spur of the moment romantic gesture," Ross grumbled.
          "Oh would you? That'd be helpful."
          "You're lucky I find you cute," Ross sighed as he rested his head in her lap, his feet hanging over the arm of the couch.
          "Does that mean you're not angry about the Pookums thing?"
          "Oh no, I'm going to lambaste you just as soon as the trauma of getting here passes."
          "Aww," Kirsty cooed as she stroked his hair. "Wanna go to bed? If we can find it under all Jools's bloody cats?"
          "You guys can't go to bed," Julia declared. "I'm not tired."
          "I'm sorry," Ross mused. "I didn't know you planned to join us."
          "Idiot," Julia cussed. "Come on, I need entertained."
          "I'll juggle fruit for you shall I?" Ross countered.
          "Cool!" Julia grinned.
          "Why can't women be like men? We just masturbate and fall asleep."
          "Please we already have to do that during sex," Kirsty chided and then paused. "Not with us though," she added, looking innocently at Ross.
          "Yeah, keep digging," Julia giggled.
          "I should have went with the transvestite that propositioned me," Ross sighed.
          "Was she nice?" Julia asked.
          "Not really, her name was Steve and she had a beard."
          "Oh my god!" Kirsty gasped. "That's our postman."

          "Chris and Pen are late," Marty whined looking at a set of blueprints.
          "Well Christopher and I were up late going over some figures," Julian piped up.
          "Oh, he must have been thrilled," Ken sighed.
          "Oh, I hear footsteps," Marty perked and the three men looked up to see Penny march into the lab, drop her bag and slam her Styrofoam cup onto the counter. Chris appeared a second later grumbling as he pulled on his safety glasses.
          "I think Mum and Dad are fighting," Marty pouted.
          "Just pretend everything is ok," Ken nodded. "Pen, can I ask you a question."
          "Sure," she asked slightly flustered and grabbed her cup as she wandered over to the blueprint they were poring over.
          "Do you think that we should put the join here," Ken asked pointing to the blueprint. "Or here?"
          "The second one."
          "Actually I think you'll find the first one is more sound," Chris piped up.
          "I don't remember hearing him ask you," Penny scowled.
          "Well we're a team so I figure my input is valuable."
          "And of course you're always right."
          "Well any good engineer can see that the second join would weigh the rocket down."
          "Oh so you're saying I'm a shit engineer then?"
          "No, but if you look at the blueprint…"
          "Ah guys, this is neither the time nor…" Julian began.
          "BUTT OUT!" Both Penny and Chris hissed causing Julian to look like a startled bunny.
          "Penny you have to see reason," Chris scorned.
          "All I see is some pretentious bastard in front of me. Just like every other engineer here. You're a guy so of course you'd know best."
          "Pen."
          "No, go ahead, undermine me," she snapped and stormed out of the lab.
          "Well, that went well," Julian swallowed.
          "What did you do to her?" Marty gasped. "What did you do to our Pen?"
          Chris looked blankly and shrugged.

          Julia stifled a yawn as she sat waiting in the reception area of Robson and Co. It was a big business and they dealt with a lot of wealthy clients. The receptionist, a small blonde thing engulfed by her large desk, was chatting constantly on the phone and occasionally looked in Julia's direction. She checked her watch for what felt like the millionth time and realised it was now after ten. If Brett Robson didn't hurry up she was going across the street to the pancake house for the mammoth breakfast special.
          "Miss Dunn," the receptionist piped up. "Mr. Robson will see you now."
          "Thanks," Julia smiled and wandered over to his open office door. She knocked on its steely grey surface and Mr. Robson looked up.
          "Ah, Julia come in," he smiled and got up from behind his desk. They shook hands and he motioned for her to take a seat. "Now, my brother informs me you had the unfortunate pleasure of working at De'Lorenzo's."
          "Yes, it was kinda like hell in a hand basket," Julia quipped.
          Mr. Robson chucked, "Well, my brother has nothing but praise for you and I will do anything to spite that sleazy, Italian bastard…So, when would you like to start?"
          Julia looked blankly at the man in front of her, "Are you serious?"
          "Of course. If Harry thinks your great, I need not ply you with useless bloody questions. I have a business to run."
          "Ok then, " Julia nodded a smile in her voice. "When would you like me to start."
          "Monday, 8 o’clock. We'll talk wages then."
          "That's, ah, great," Julia smiled.
          "Fantastic," Mr. Robson perked and shook her hand again. "You can see yourself out can't you?"
          "Of course," Julia nodded and sprung up from the seat. She hurried past the receptionist and into the elevator. She bounced into the street with a grin plastered over her face, a woman walked past looking at her strangely. "I'm happy," Julia scorned. "And I'm going for pancakes," she added and headed across the road.

          "If I fall asleep at my desk I blame your friend entirely," Ross announced, sauntering into Kirsty's office.
          She let out a grunt, "Ross, I'm never going to get any bloody work done if you keep popping in every half a second."
          "I'm tired, I'm roasting and I brought you a muffin," he pouted, passing her a brown paper bag.
          "What flavour?"
          "Chocolate choc-chip."
          "Ok, you can stay," Kirsty mused as she opened the bag. "Hey, half of it’s missing."
          "I got bored waiting for the lights to change," Ross shrugged as he fell into a chair. "Can I steal your fan?" he asked, grabbing her desk fan and letting it blow cool air into his face.
          "Would it matter if I said no?"
          "It’s ok for you, you get to sit on your arse in an air-conditioned office all day. Me, I get sent on errands and have to endure the hot air that's brought in everytime someone comes through those bloody doors."
          "My heart bleeds, really it does."
          Ross poked out his tongue, "You're just narky because Jools wouldn't let us go to bed."
          "And you're not?"
          "I'm still trying to ignore the pain in my lower back from sleeping on the couch," Ross said, wincing to make his point.
          "Next time we stay at my place we're bouncing off walls just to spite her."
          "I like the way you think," Ross smiled as he raised an eyebrow.
          "I'll bet you do," Kirsty smiled back. "You better go back to your desk as I'm sure there's people screaming for advertising that will turn to other companies if you don't use your charm on them."
          "I have charm?"
          "Go!" Kirsty ordered as she listened to her office door slam. "Bastard took my fan," she muttered as she surveyed her desk.

          "Truman Advertising, Ross speaking how can I help you? You what? I don't think we deal in the advertising of massage parlors sir…You'll what? With Latisha…"
          "Hey Pookums," Julia perked leaning against Ross's desk.
          "Get fucked…No not you? Don't really need help with that do you?" Ross covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "What are you doing here?"
          "I'm bored, Kirsty around?" Julia asked.
          "Hold on," he sighed. "I'll put you through to one of our execs, his name's Patrick." Ross pressed a button on the phone and hung up the receiver. He then picked it up and pressed another button on the phone. "Hey, your insomniac bitch of a friend is here, want me to do away with her? Hey? No he hasn't called. I know that's good. You want to do what? With a whip? You keep talking like that and you'll…"
          "Ross," Julia scorned.
          "Huh? Oh yeah…No it's just Jools, ok…Yeah I'll tell her." Ross hung up the receiver. "She'll be out in a second."
          "Has anyone ever suggested you get therapy?" Julia asked.
          "I had a girlfriend suggest aromatherapy, but that's because she said I stunk."
          "Yeah, I can imagine that."
          Ross screwed up his face as Kirsty appeared. "Oh that's attractive."
          "Oh you're hysterical," Ross grumbled as the phone rang again. "Hello, Truman Advertising, Ross speak…Hi Pat…"
          "So, what brings you here?" Kirsty asked as they moved away from Ross's desk to talk.
          "I got that job, I walked in and he gave it to me," Julia perked.
          "That's fantastic. So why are you here?"
          Julia felt she'd been insulted but continued anyway. "Let's go to the beach."
          "I'm working."
          "So stop."
          "Jools, I've only just, I should…"
          "Please, you're bored out of your mind. I know you too well."
          "I don't have my bathers."
          "I brought them for you," Julia grinned holding up Kirsty's beach bag. "Oh come on, it's hot and there's nothing better to do."
          "Can I…"
          "Yes you can bring Ross," Julia sighed cutting her off.
          "Bring me where?" Ross asked sauntering over.
          "The beach," Julia replied.
          "Ohh are we playing truant?"
          "Do you want to?" Kirsty asked.
          "Sure, you tell Truman you've got your period and I'll come down with a mystery virus."
          "See, he's enthusiastic," Julia remarked.
          "No, Patrick's just going to hurt him if he stays."
          "I like my facial features as they are," Ross nodded. "I'll have to buy some bathers too."
          "Well, Jools why don't you go and wait at the café round the corner and we'll be there soon yeah," Kirsty smiled.
          "Right," Julia agreed and hurried out of the reception area.
          "Ok, I'll go let Truman get a grope or something. He's bound to let me do anything if I give him that privilege," Kirsty mused.
          "That's not funny."
          Kirsty raised an eyebrow, "And you hon, I want you to get Liam to the beach."
          "Do I have to?"
          "It'll be worth the effort," Kirsty grinned as she headed down the corridor.
          "Oh it better be," Ross mumbled and wandered back to his desk. He grabbed the phonebook and hunted out De'Lorenzo's Accounting and dialed the number.
          "Hello, De'Lorenzo's Accounting," a voice perked at him.
          "Hi, can you put me through to Liam please."
          "Just one moment," the voice chirped as some god-awful 80s pop song burst through the receiver.
          "Liam speaking."
          "It talks!"
          "Ross?"
          "Yeah, don't get too excited princess I'm doing this because I like my sex life."
          "What? Sounding like a dickhead?"
          "Oh, funny," Ross sarced. "We're going to the beach and you have to come."
          "Who's we?"
          "Me, Kirsty, Jools. You know Jools, that voluptuous brunette you have the inability to sleep with. Which, you know, usually I could handle but she kept us up until 6am and I'm kinda hoping the bitch is taken by a shark sometime today…So, I encourage you to fuck her until she can't walk, talk or breathe in the near future."
          "Thankyou for your concern Mutt."
          "So, will you come."
          "I will if you have you way."
          "That was very funny, we could workshop that."
          "If I say yes will you shut up?"
          "Of course I will."
          "Ok, I'll go but I need to buy bathers."
          "Me too, I could phone ahead and send the women."
          "I like the way you think."
          "So, in a hour at the tram stop yeah?"
          "It's a date."
          "No it’s a sultana."
          "I'm hanging up."
          "Maybe it's a raisin?"
          "Bye Ross."

          "Pen, can we talk?" Chris asked as he sat himself next to Penny in the poolroom. She looked miserably at her sandwich.
          "No, I hate you go away," she grumbled.
          "What did I do?"
          "Where do I start?"
          "I have the distinct feeling you don't know why you're angry anymore."
          "I know exactly why I'm angry thankyou," Penny huffed, getting to her feet.
          "So tell me? What have I done?"
          Penny bit her lip and glared at him a moment, "Well you're…you're just…I think that…God you're infuriating."
          "Yeah, that's made things so much clearer," Chris sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Are you going to open up to me or not?"
          Penny kept focussed on her sandwich for a moment, "I guess a good engineer might."
          "What? Oh Pen, I didn't mean you were a bad engineer. You're a fantastic engineer why do you think those guys asked you in the first place?"
          "You still had to correct me though," Penny huffed dropping her sandwich onto the pool table. "It's bad enough everyone knows we're dating. It's worse if they think I'm just a sappy female so fucked up on pheromones she can't think for herself anymore."
          "I couldn't care less what they think."
          "Well you're not the one under pressure to prove a woman can do what is typically a man's job."
          "You're sexier than any man, especially where engineers are concerned."
          "Chris, don't."
          "Don't what?" Chris mused, sauntering over to Penny. He gave her puppy dog eyes and then smiled and she crumbled completely.
          "Damn you," Penny sighed wrapping her arms around him. "Sometimes I hate being female."
          "I like it, you have all the fun bits," Chris mused and Penny looked at him strangely before they shared a gentle kiss.
          "HEY, PEN AND CHRIS HAVE MADE UP!" Marty yelled from the door.
          "Shall I kill him?" Chris breathed into Penny's hair.
          "Please," she replied.
          "Better start running mate," Chris grinned as he dashed toward Marty and the pair went bolting down the hallway.
          "It's a great day for me but a tragic one for feminism," Penny mused as she picked up her sandwich and smiled to herself, a yelp from down the hall an indication Marty had been caught.