"I can't wait to get home," Penny sighed as she filled out the daily progress report, constantly checking her watch every ten seconds and finding it no closer to 5 o'clock.
          "We're not going home, we're going to my mothers remember?" Chris sighed.
          "Do we have to?" Penny whined.
          "If we don't want her to plague our every waking hour with phone calls as to why we didn't go, then we have to go," Chris informed her.
          "Was that a sentence?" Marty asked.
          "I don't know…Julian turns up and after an hour of his rambling you tend to not be coherent anymore," Chris shrugged.
          "We'll have to go home and change first right?" Penny asked hopefully.
          "No time babe. You know mum likes dinner to be served precisely at 6."
          "I really hate that woman," Penny sighed, then looked to Chris. "No offence to you."
          "I really hate her too," Chris agreed. "You know I actually cringe knowing I went through her birth canal."
          "Now there's an image I didn't need. How am I going to look at her and not think of that?" Penny asked.
          "Have I told you about when the twins were born?" Ken piped up.
          "YES!" Marty, Pen and Chris announced.
          "Just asking," Ken sighed.
          "I haven't heard the story," Julian announced. "I didn't know you had kids."
          "They're three," Ken told him. "We've been working together five years. How can you not know I have children?"
          "I guess I just prefer to work rather than to socialize."
          "That's what he was like all through high school and Uni, it’s no wonder he's still a virgin," Marty laughed.
          "I'm just saving myself for marriage," Julian replied.
          "Oh my god you really are a virgin?" Marty asked. "I was only joking."
          "I'm sure Penelope's still a virgin too," Julian looked approvingly at her.
          "Not after last night she's not," Chris smirked.
          "Chris!" Penny blushed.
          "That's exactly what I had her screaming."
          "I can't tell you how deeply disappointed in you I am Penelope. I never would have taken you as the type to whore your body," Julian huffed.
          "Well, you know, I quite enjoy it actually."
          "Penny you slut," Marty teased. She glared at him. "Joking…Don't hurt me. I bruise easily."
          "I think it's time we all went home now," Ken chirped, checking his watch. "I've got to take Robbie to cricket training, Alison to ballet and the twins are going to their grandma's for the night."
          "Gonna try for number five while the others are gone hey?" Marty grinned. Ken smiled and shook his head at Marty.
          "You have more than two children?" Julian inquired. "I never knew that."
          "Maybe if you took your head out your arse you'd hear better," Ken growled as Julian followed him out.
          "God we'd better get a move on. Mum will go nuts if we're even a minute late," Chris sighed as they quickly packed up their things and made their way to his car.

          Kirsty was just packing up for the day when Ross bounced into her office.
          "We should have enough time to go back to my place, have something to eat, change and then get to my gig before it starts," he perked.
          "Actually I'm pretty tired Hon. I might just go home."
          "And miss my gig?" Ross looked crestfallen.
          "Well, it's my first day and all and it's just taken so much out of me. I'm exhausted really. I just want to go home and sleep. You understand don't you?"
          "Yeah. I guess so. It won't be the same without you there though."
          "I've been to one gig Ross. I'm sure you'll be fine."
          "How do you know? I might get stage fright or something."
          "Ross you'll be fine. It's just one night. I'll be at the next one I promise."
          "But I've got new material for this gig, by the next one it'll be old."
          "And how much of that new material did I give you?"
          "That's not the point. It's the inaugural showing of the nipple lasers and I want you to be there."
          "Ross I'm sorry but I'm not coming tonight," Kirsty sighed. "Walk me to the bus stop?" she added as she grabbed her bag and headed to the door.
          "Okay," Ross sighed dejectedly as he followed her out.

          Julia was sitting in her beanbag, eating a chicken sandwich and watching the news when Kirsty walked through the door.
          "How was your first day at work?" she asked.
          "My boss is a sleaze and all the people I work with are fuckwits but on the upside, if I lean over to the right a little I can see Ross bending over."
          "So it was a good day then?"
          "Not really, he only bent over twice."
          "Right. At least you've got things in perspective."
          "And how was your day?"
          "I was rejected by Liam and called Megan a skank."
          "So it wasn't bad then?"
          "My self esteem is shattered but on the upside, I called Megan a skank," Julia perked.
          "You just live on that one little victory."
          "How are we getting to Ross's gig tonight?" Julia asked.
          "You're going?"
          "Well Ross did leave that charming message on the answering machine telling me I was."
          "Oh yeah, forgot about that."
          "And my mother is less than impressed that I wont be there tonight to look after Lynda's kids. Do you know that little Gypsy-Rose is calling me mum now?"
          "Good god. You'd think after two years I'd be used to that kid's name. At least the boy's got a halfway decent name."
          "Mum wasn't thrilled when she called him Romeo Luke. She reckons if she has another one it'll either be Darius Vin for a boy or Imogen Giselle for a girl."
          "Let's hope that child never gets conceived."
          "So once again how are we getting to Ross's gig?"
          "Did I tell you I told him I wasn't going? You should have seen his little face. He was crushed."
          "You're a cruel bitch you know that?" Julia giggled.
          "Ah it'll be a surprise for him. I think I might drive tonight. Is that what you're wearing?"
          "It's all I've got. Penny borrowed the rest," Julia replied looking at her peasant top and jeans.
          "I thought she only borrowed one outfit?"
          "So did I but I opened my wardrobe this morning to find a note from her. Apparently she took my perfume too. I didn't even know I had any perfume."
          "Least she left you one outfit."
          "Yeah remind me to thank her next time I see her."

          "Chris darling," Angela cooed. "Penny," she added as she moved aside to let them in.
          "Hi mum, how are you today?" Chris asked.
          "You wouldn't believe what your father wanted to do today Chris. It took me an hour to talk him out of it."
          "What did he want to do?"
          "Can you believe he actually wanted to spend a few hours in his shed trying to fix the microwave. I didn't see the point when he can just go out and buy a new one." She looked sympathetically at Penny. "I suppose out where you are they have to go into sheds and try to fix things because they just can't afford to buy new ones."
          "Actually, where I come from they're too poor for sheds. Most people just stick four tree branches in the ground and cover them with a sheet and pretend it's a shed. Then they try to fix broken things."
          "There's no need to be rude dear. I'm just trying to understand your impoverished life."
          Penny opened her mouth to say something but Chris cut in, "So, Mum what's for dinner?"
          "Dinner?" Angela said looking bewildered.
          "Well, I figured since you wanted me to look at Mrs. Simpson's washing machine that you'd be expecting us for dinner," Chris shrugged.
          "Christopher I am your mother and not your servant, if you wanted dinner you should have eaten before you came."
          Penny felt her stomach rumble, she was starving and had been looking forward to another one to Chris's mother's feasts.
          "Fine, I'll just go to Mrs. Simpson's then," Chris huffed, grabbed Penny's hand and dragged her back out of the house. "That woman is tyrant," he hissed.
          "Well I guess she kinda didn't promise dinner," Penny sighed.
          "Don't you stick up for her," Chris scorned as he marched down the footpath. "What mother invites people at dinner time and doesn't feed them? The woman should be drawn and quatered."
          "You don't think you're overreacting just a little?" Penny declared as she hurried to keep up.
          "The woman thinks you've grown up in a ghetto," Chris shrieked. "I don't think I'm reacting enough," he added and rang Mrs. Simpson's doorbell.
          "I don't care what she thinks of me," Penny shrugged.
          "If we get married she'll be unbearable."
          "You want to get married?" Penny gasped.
          Chris looked startled for a second. "Figure of speech." He paused as the door opened and a stocky woman in a gold shirt appeared. "Mrs. Simpson."
          "Please Chris, call me Eleanor," she cooed and moved aside to let them in. "Washing machine's through there," she added and pointed to the laundry. Both Penny and Mrs. Simpson followed. Penny leaned against the doorframe and Mrs. Simpson stopped next to her.
          "Babe, hold this for me," Chris smiled as he chucked his work shirt to Penny, she caught it one handed and had Mrs. Simpson not been there she would have done a happy dance. Chris was now only in a white singlet and it took several seconds before Penny noticed she wasn't the only one enjoying the view. She looked bemused at Mrs. Simpson.
          "Such a shame he's too young for me," she winked.
          "But you're married," Penny smiled.
          "I know, but if he looked like that…"
          Penny giggled. "And to think he's all mine."
          "You lucky bitch," Mrs. Simpson chided and disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.

          "Have I ever told you I fear for my life in your car?" Julia remarked as she and Kirsty arrived at the Laughing Gas Comedy Club.
          "Frequently," Kirsty replied. "I still think you're overreacting."
          "You wound down the window and called a biker an inbred fuck knuckle," Julia gasped. "Do you have a death wish?"
          "You're so paranoid," Kirsty sighed as they made their way inside. People were beginning to take seats.
          "Oh look, he looks miserable," Julia cussed and belted Kirsty's arm as they looked over to the bar where Ross appeared to be drowning his sorrows.
          "Bitch," Kirsty hissed and left Julia to go to Ross. "Hey you," she chirped resting a hand on his back.
          "Kirst, I didn't think you were coming?" Ross said blankly, looking at her briefly before downing the rest of his drink.
          "Yeah, I was kinda kidding kinda testing you," she shrugged. "Like I'd miss seeing you, really."
          "You were testing me?"
          "Yeah."
          "Why?"
          "I don't know, see if you cared."
          Ross narrowed his eyes. "How touching, because you gave me the impression you didn’t," he huffed as he got to his feet.
          "Ross," Kirsty gasped.
          "Save it," Ross replied as he headed off to get ready.
          "Well, you have been told," Julia chided as she sauntered over and got comfortable on a barstool.
          "Oh shut up," Kirsty huffed.
          "Hey, just because you're having your first fight doesn't mean you can take it out on me."
          Kirsty stared into the distance for a moment. "I'm going home."
          "What about me?" Julia gasped.
          "You know where the bus stop is," Kirsty spat and headed for the door.
          Julia looked at the barman. "Bundy and coke please and make it a big one."

          "Look at you, covered in god knows what from that washing machine," Penny mused as she and Chris walked back to his car after he'd seemingly fixed Mrs. Simpson's washing machine.
          "I think it’s soggy lint," Chris shrugged. "You'll have to soap me down when we get home."
          "Hmm now there's an interesting prospect," Penny smiled. "Going to see your Mum before we go?"
          "No, to hell with her," Chris scowled and pulled his keys out of his pocket. "Here, you drive, I'm knackard."
          "You're not serious," Penny gasped, looking at his flashy sports car.
          "Course I am," Chris perked as slid into the passenger side seat. Penny reluctantly got behind the wheel and started the engine.
          "Well, it's certainly got more grunt than my bomb," she mused.
          "Yeah, so no speeding fine you hear," Chris teased.
          "Right," Penny perked as she backed the car out of the driveway and pulled onto the road. "So, where are we heading?"
          "Somewhere where there is food," Chris yawned.
          "I've got a pizza in the freezer at home," Penny suggested. "Oh wait, you don't want to go to my house."
          "Sure I do, you have pizza," Chris chided.
          "Really, we'll go back to yours and order."
          "Pen, I'm tired and I'm hungry," Chris sighed and rested a hand on her thigh. "Your place is fine."
          "Ok," Penny cringed and headed in the direction of home.

          Ross poked his head out of the off stage area and was pleased to see people quickly dispersing. All in all it had been a great show, the nipple lasers had gone down a treat, as had all his new material. He grabbed a beer and headed back toward Julia who was still at the bar. He was halfway across the floor when he was accosted by a group of women wanting autographs. A couple he recognised from previous shows, they seemed to be all talking at once and he had no idea what they were saying. Julia looked up and noticed Ross looking nothing short of harassed, she finished her drink and then made her way over to him.
          "I think you're fabulous," a girl cooed.
          "So do I," Ross chided.
          "Anderson," Julia sighed, grabbed his arm and pulled him from the crowd. "Your dog's in a coma we have to go."
          "What?" Ross gasped. "Oh," he added and waved goodbye to his fans before they hurried out of the club.
          "I don't have a dog," Ross declared the second they hit the street.
          "I know, but you look like you needed an excuse," Julia sighed. "That and I think you should call Kirsty."
          "Why?" Ross huffed.
          "She got upset and left, before you even went on stage."
          "So, she shouldn't have been horrible to me," Ross pouted and dug his hands deep into his pockets.
          "Well that's a mature attitude."
          "Well, I'm not apologising for something that isn't my fault," Ross grumbled and checked his watch. "You want me to wait at the bus stop with you?"
          "Would you?" Julia said a bit sheepishly.
          "If you promise to protect me from nutbars," Ross smiled.
          It took only a few minutes for them to reach the quiet bus stop, they sat on the cold stone ledge of a café window and sat in silence as they watched the few cars left in the City zoom past.
          "Was she really upset?" Ross eventually asked.
          "Yes, she's mad about you. I've known Kirsty a long time and I've never seen her take to someone like she has you."
          "You make her sound like a dog?"
          "Well she did win best of breed once…" Ross looked at Julia curiously. "Don't ask."
          "Right, so what about you Jools? I heard you lost your job."
          "Well I kinda told the boss to stick it. I have a habit of getting jobs where the boss is an arsehole."
          "Yeah, my boss is one of those," Ross nodded. "What about that guy you liked? Liam."
          "Oh don't go there, sometimes I think he likes me and then the next minute I think he can't stand me," Julia sighed. "Christ, listen to me rambling, you don't want to hear my problems."
          "Hey, makes me feel better about my own," Ross chided.
          "Oh gee, thanks."
          "Is that your bus?" he asked, getting to his feet and pointing at the approaching bus.
          "Yes," Julia replied and got to her feet. "Oh great show by the way."
          "Thanks," Ross nodded. "Will you tell Kirsty that the nipple lasers were a hit?"
          "No, you tell her," Julia smiled as she stepped onto the bus. Ross let out a heavy sigh, dug his hands back into his pockets and headed toward the train station.

          Penny parked the car in her stark driveway and let out a sigh. "Well this is it," she stated as she looked ashamedly at her tiny, housing trust until,
          "Great, I'm starving," Chris perked and clambered out of the car. Penny got out and locked the car and headed to the front door. She unlocked it and let them in, hurrying to switch on a lamp.
          "Sorry, I haven't been home to clean," Penny babbled and quickly removed a pile of papers from the couch.
          "Ah well," Chris smiled and fell onto the couch. "Oh hello," he giggled as he was pounced upon by a large black and white cat.
          "That's Nero," Penny perked and reached out to stroke her cat's fur. "And I assume he's hungry."
          "Aren't you a lovely boy," Chris cooed as Nero rubbed himself against him. Until he heard Penny opening a tin of catfood and bolted into the kitchen.
          "You can put the TV on if you want," Penny called as she fed Nero and then shoved the pizza in the oven. Chris found the remote under a newspaper and flicked the TV on, he channel surfed and decided nothing was on so he switched it off again and got to his feet.
          "Do you mind if I have a shower?" he asked, sauntering into the kitchen.
          "No, go ahead," Penny nodded and led the way. She stopped to grab him a towel from the hall cupboard.
          "You can join me if you want," Chris perked.
          "As much as I'd like to there just isn't enough room in my shower," Penny laughed. "Besides I'm making dinner."
          "Even better," Chris grinned and caught her in a quick kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.
          Penny went back to the kitchen and listened to the water running in the bathroom. She had been horrifed at the prospect of Chris going to her house, but he didn't seem to care that her entire unit was no bigger than his kitchen. If anything he seemed to be right at home. Penny turned the fridge to look for something to drink, the best she could offer was a bottle of cola which she put on the table. Penny busied herself with washing a few dishes and fell into thinking about how she'd have to pay a visit to her Mum in the next couple of days. A few seconds later she felt Chris's arms wrap around her and his lips on her neck.
          "Ew, you're still wet," Penny giggled as she felt his wet hair on her skin.
          "And butt naked," Chris grinned. Penny looked round too see him sporting only a towel.
          "Do you know Mrs. Simpson wants to do you? She was checking out your arse," Penny sniggered.
          Chris's face dropped. "Great, that's just killed my libido."
          "She was really drooling," Penny nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist.
          "And what did you do?"
          "Said you were all mine," Penny cooed as he dipped his head to kiss her. She let her hands caress his toned abdomen and then her fingers found their way to where the towel was tucked in. Before she could do anything else the oven timer went off. "Damn."
          "About time, I'm starving," Chris perked, Penny rolled her eyes and went to hunt out an oven glove or two.

          Kirsty lay glaring at her clock before getting out of bed, she'd hardly slept yet again. This time however it was due to being both annoyed at and missing Ross like crazy. Added to that was her annoyance that she'd become some girlie sap in a matter of days, and not just any girlie sap but the kind that has a fight with their boyfriend and then sobs into a teddy bear until 3am. After a quick shower, dressing and breakfast she caught the bus into the city. She found herself continually depressed by the music on her Discman and frustrated that they bus seemed to be going snails pace. By the time she got to work she was tired, irritable and hoping that Ross had forgiven her. Kirsty was pleased to see he was already sitting at his desk. He looked up briefly as she entered the reception area and then looked back at his computer.
          "Morning," Kirsty announced somewhat weakly.
          "There's a letter on your desk and you have to call Rogers," Ross replied without looking up from what he was doing.
          "Right," Kirsty said quietly and hurried to her office.

          Julia was woken by what appeared to be Kiss Kiss by Holly Valance. She quickly realised that Kirsty had been playing with the ringtone on her phone and made a mental note to kill her later. She grabbed her phone sleepily from the bedside table and answered it.
          "Hello."
          "Good morning sunshine."
          "Liam."
          "You know some of us have been at work for hours."
          "And your point being?"
          "I've been ordered by DeLerenzo to call you."
          "Why? What's that little skank done now?"
          "Do you remember some bloke called Robson?"
          "God, um…Yeah, Harold Robson."
          "That's the fella, seems he's not too keen on anyone dealing with his stuff but you."
          "I feel honoured."
          "De'Lorenzo wants you to come in and deal with him. Robson wants to go through some stuff."
          "What's in it for me?"
          "You'll get paid."
          "That's the magic words."
          "Can you be here by one?"
          "What's the time now? I'm too lazy to put my glasses on."
          "Eleven thirty."
          "Shit, yeah I think so."
          "That's my girl."
          "Oh I'm your girl now?"
          Liam laughed. "I'll see you just before one then yeah?"
          "Unfortunately yes."
          "Later sunshine," Liam perked before he hung up.
          "Sunshine," Julia giggled and dropped her phone onto the bed, her action was greeted by a squeak and a cat darted off her bed. "I don't wanna get up," she whined and closed her eyes for half a second before forcibly making herself get up and shower.

          "Let's stay here forever," Penny yawned as she listened to Chris's heartbeat as his chest rose and fell.
          "If only," Chris agreed, his hand stroking her back. "Guess we'll have to get up soon and go to work."
          "What's the time anyway?"
          "I don't know, I'm too relaxed to look," Chris giggled.
          Penny grabbed his arm to look at his watch and opened her eyes, it took several minutes for her to focus. "It’s ten to twelve," she yawned and closed her eyes again.
          "We'll give it a couple more minutes then," Chris sighed. Before his eyes shot open. "TEN TO TWELVE."
          "Oh shit," Penny gasped. "We're late."
          "Fuck it," Chris sighed, "It's not worth it now."
          "Won’t Julian go spare?"
          "I don't care."
          "I don't know," Penny fretted as she sat up. "I don't know if I can afford a short week."
          "Pen, you need any money all you have to do is ask."
          "Chris I couldn't…"
          "You can pay me back if it makes you feel better."
          Penny shrugged and lay back down. "Feels nice to lie in bed for a change."
          "Staying in bed is always better when you're doing it with someone else."
          "I'm sure Eleanor Simpson would agree," Penny teased and dropped several kisses on Chris's chest.
          "Oh don't got there," Chris whined. "You realise I dreamt she was trying to molest me while wearing leather bondage gear."
          "Oh wait till I tell her."
          "Don't you dare," Chris gasped.
          "I wonder how many more of your mother's friends have a desire to sleep with you?"
          "Pen, please."
          "Maybe they've got a club going, a pervy middle aged women's club. Do they ever inadvertently just turn up at your Mum's house when you're there?"
          "Right, that's it young lady," Chris laughed as he rolled over and pinned Penny to the bed. "I'm going to have to ritually torture you, over and over again."
          "Does it involve cream cheese?" Chris looked at Penny bewildered. "You'd be surprised what that stuff is good for."
          Chris started to laugh before they fell into a mass of heated kissing and naked exploration.

          Kirsty sauntered across the road to a small park area where Ross was sitting under a tree eating his lunch. She made her way over to him and he looked up as she reached the shade of the tree.
          "Can I sit?" she asked. Ross, who'd removed his jacket, nodded and she sat beside him. "Sorry I was such a bitch last night."
          "Sorry I overreacted," Ross sighed, "and sorry I've been an arse all morning."
          "How'd your gig go?"
          "Great, the nipple lasers went down a treat."
          Kirsty giggled. "Sorry I missed it," she added sheepishly.
          "The next person to say sorry gets thrown into traffic."
          "What if it’s you?"
          "I'm quite capable of throwing myself," Ross mused as Kirsty leaned against him.
          "So why have you been an arse all morning?" she asked.
          "Ah, well I wanted you to be the first to know."
          "Oh, know what?" Kirsty asked as she moved so she could look at him.
          "I'm going to be performing in Melbourne, they actually asked me to come," Ross perked.
          "Oh my god," Kirsty shrieked. "That's fantastic," she added as she leapt into his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fervently.
          "Thankyou for the support," Ross giggled as he nearly fell backwards.
          "So why does this make you an arse?" Kirsty asked.
          "Because there's always a downside. I've got to get time off from Truman and I'll have to be apart from you for a few weeks."
          "Never thought of that," Kirsty pouted. "Ah well, who cares…You're going to Melbourne," she enthused and kissed him again. This time Ross did fall backwards and they ended up in fits of laughter.
          "We should take the rest of the afternoon off work and celebrate," Ross suggested.
          "I can't bunk off on my second day."
          "Who cares, I'm going to Melbourne," Ross smiled.