This week's Primetime Card has been labelled "Show Up or Ship Out" by President Letner - self-explanatory, really, and it seems we could be a few wrestlers fewer in just a few days' time. Time will tell.

The card will be kicked off by a tag team match, as debutants Alex Lowy and Cobb Jones will be teaming up against veterans Justin Rawlings and Brad Striker. Rawlings and Striker have been deafening in their silence so far, and could well be handed their pink slips by the end of the evening. Not so for Lowy, however. Technical difficulties may have prevented some GLWA fans from seeing Lowy's promo, but we have highlights here. Lowy showed up at a house show in Pittsburgh, and had strong words for the fans.

Lowy: After I get the hell out of here, I will appear in a tag team match in a week’s time, with Cobb Jones, to face off against Justin Rawlings and Brad Striker. I have to say, that as an athlete of my calibre, I would defeat all three superstars in minutes. I am a former North Wales Wrestling Alliance heavyweight champion, and I have won several awards for my strength, power, agility, and technical expertise. I’ve had to come over to the sphincter of the galaxy to appear in Pittsburgh, when I should be welcomed with open arms to the main event spot.

Lowy not endearing himself to the fans or his fellow wrestlers, but we'll see if he can back up those words on Sunday. His partner in the match is Cobb Jones, a journalist from the magazine Dazed & Confused, who's been given a guest slot on the GLWA roster. Here's an excerpt from one of his columns:

Nowadays they're trying to teach kids confidence, values and self-esteem. Big mistake. If the kids grow up with confidence, values and self esteem... who's going to dance in our strip clubs? Who's going to star in our porno movies? Does the government think these women grow on trees? Does the government think a normal, happy, well-adjusted woman suddenly decides to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks? And if that disappears, where does it leave me on a Friday night with my new high-speed connection?

Jones admits he has no wrestling training, but seems eager to prove himself nevertheless. Will his moxie and Lowy's confidence prove a match for the veteran savvy of Rawlings and Striker? Tune in to find out.

The second match on the card is Jonathan Gunz vs Jones. Gunz is another to defy Letner's "Show Up Or Ship Out" edict, proving as tight-lipped as anyone. In my experience, that is unwise, particularly as the GLWA President will be making a special announcement at the show. Letner is not the man to anger, and Gunz may just have cost himself his place on the GLWA roster. Jones, on the other hand, has proved loquacious. He seems to have fallen in love with the hardcore style of wrestling, and is demanding the respect he is due.

Jones - I've been through hell this week and haven't been shown a lick of respect....the only guy that showed me the least bit of respect is Gavin. But that didn't last to long...now he brushes me off like i just started wrestling...like this is the first federation i've ever been in! It's complete non-sense...even if i haven't done the greatest so far....show a man respect when it's deserved. I went through hell at Love Hurts and all eyes are on Gavin! Not even one superstar approached me in the back and said i put on a hell of a match or nice job out there...well I'm through with the disrespect...I'm setting out an open challenge to a Brutality match....there's one superstar that I want to except it....and that's....Gavin.

That Gavin is of course Gavin Williams, who'll be featured later on the card. No word from his camp as to whether the challenge will be accepted, but he doesn't seem the kind to back down from a challenge. Will Jones vs Williams be featured on Primetime in two weeks' time? Perhaps. But if Jones is too focused on that match and not the task in front of him, Gunz might surprise him.

And speaking of surprises, Jordan Banks will be at Primetime for the first time since his tragic comma... sorry, that's a misprint, his tragic coma. No wayward punctuation cut him down in his prime - ha! Not that I intend to make light of what is without doubt a very serious situation - be sure to tune in on Sunday as the enigmatic Jordan Banks finally breaks his silence.

The second half was supposed to start with a very special match, as NAW champion Dave Adler rides into town to take on GLWA champion Jason Stallion. However, we regret to announce that this match may not now take place. However, we do have a great second hour for you nevertheless, with Adam Young taking on Jake Cage. Young has been silent so far, but Cage has, if anything been too talkative, participating in some kind of "expose" of professional wrestling. How will this affect Cage's standing with management and in the locker-room? Only time will tell, but he'd better be ready for his match.

The final match of the second hour features Gavin Williams taking on Darren Anthony in a falls-count-anywhere match for the Brutality title. These men have been spitting venom at each other back and forth all week, and this match promises to be nothing short of murderous.

Darren Anthony: "You seem to think this match is all about you and your wrestling demons. Think again, Gavin. Think again. You seem like a good kid, but you need to get your head screwed on straight before I hit you with a The Fall and unscrew it permanently. You need to start thinking about what I bring to the ring, because believe me I am a hell of a lot scarier than anyone you've ever encountered. You want to talk about the lengths you’ll go to… why don’t you try me? Try me, motherf(censor)ker, try my past and try my demons and try and see if dont rip your heart ot right in the middle of the ring. This is my quest for the gold, not yours.”

* * * * *

Havok: Darren Anthony! If you think I’m overlooking you man, you’re dead wrong! You talk to me like I’m some kid who had his first match ever two weeks ago! You tell me that you’re going to teach me a lesson. That YOU are going to teach ME a lesson! Well, I’ve got news for you Darren, I don’t need a lesson from someone like you! Oh no! You see, according to your dumb math, my “A game” doesn’t equate to anything but a “C” in a federation like this! Well I brought my “A game” to Love Hurts and it was enough to “steal your thunder”! So you have to understand, Darren, that I don’t take lessons from has been wrestlers whose “game” is on academic probation! I only take lessons from the best!

* * * * *

Orson Graves: "Guy's are getting there throat's slashed over that belt, Gavin, can you even understand that? I watched London Freemantle try to kill Kurt Swagger or some silly belt, some stupid match - because it's much more than that to them. They weren't trying to prove themselves; they were trying to hurt each other, because that's what it takes. F9censor)k nobility, Williams, and forget all about pouring your heart and soul into this, because in the end it doesn't mean a thing if you don't have the killer instinct. You'll be out wrestled and out classed like never before, and it's not some fluke, it's fate."

The talking stops on Sunday. These men will have to put up, or shut up.

The third hour will begin with Eric Bruce taking on Jordan Banks.

[Jordan Banks is laying flat, with his head propped upon a stack of pillows, his lengthy, motionless legs stretched out in front of him, ten bare toes stare back at him, with the crown of his toes aiming towards the sky, the birds eye view focuses his eyes, his stare, his thoughts, his strength, and every last drop of concentration. . .on his big toe.]

[CUE UP JAWS THEME MUSIC]

[SLOW ZOOM INTO BIG TOE]

[SLOW ZOOM INTO HIS FACE]

[SLOW ZOOM INTO BIG TOE]

[SLOW ZOOM INTO FACE]

[END 'JAWS' THEME MUSIC]

BANKS (MONOTONE): "Wiggle your big toe."

Eric Bruce wasn't joking around.

Bruce: "You see, since I came back to the ring, I have won the Brutality Title, tested my limit against "Kid Ego" Diesel Warren in what many are calling the best dark match in a long time, and I drove Nightmare from the top of a ladder down to the mat with The Apocalyptic Demise. That was one of my favourite moments. Driving Nightmare twenty feet down to the canvas, possibly ending his career. That was on of the crowning moments of my GLWA career. Now we have Jordan Banks coming out of the woodwork, wanting a shot at me, because he thinks that I intentionally took away from his career, that he was lucky to have anyways, you know what, to Jordan Banks, I say, come and get some, I'm ready for whatever minor challenge that you are going to provide."

But Banks will let his actions do the talking.
 

Banks: "I bet your thinking that I'm too calm, shouldn't I be more intense? Nope. Why act like a madman for the camera guy, I'm saving all that fire for 'Primetime'. I need that fire, so I can break Eric Bruce down, piece by piece, until he's my own personal stepping stone."

[Deep breathe, followed by the final thought.]

Banks: "The Yankee rule is in effect, the stage is set, and 2005 is the year of Jordan Banks. And you better believe that I will do 'Whatever It Takes'."
 

Contrasting styles should make for a great matchup there, and that's equally true in our next featured match, with Ace Slaughter taking on Dmetri Wehrman in a revenge match. And do these men hate each other? Slaughter certainly seems to.

Slaughter: I loathe you!! I despise you!! My hatred for you, is not some gimmick. It's not like "Oh well, I guess I'll pick a name out of a hat and hate them today!" It's not that simple!! I understand how people look at me!! And I know my win-loss record is far from perfect. But, I walk into that ring and bust my ass every single match!! Every single time!! Do you hear me?!? I have heart, coz!! When you look into my eyes, you know I mean business!! This is not some hobby or something I'm doing on a whim. This sport is EVERYTHING TO ME!! Wrestling means more to me, than you will ever know!! GLWA means everything to me!! I too have desires of being GLWA Champion!! And to think, you were once GLWA champion. That is a down right disgrace. Not only to Great Lakes Wrestling, but to wrestling in general!! I put one hundred percent into every match. Injured or not, I make sure my opponent knows they will have a long night, when they step into the ring with 'Superstar' Ace Slaughter!!

But Wehrman's reply, filmed on his trip to the UK, did not share the anger.

Dmetri: I also can tell you don’t like me. You don’t like me because you think I’m a coward. You hate me because of what I am. I am someone who has had this business come to them so easily where you’ve worked for years to get where you are. I understand the resentment. What I don’t understand is the undying focus. Do you know how many men would kill to have the support and love you have? Step out from behind the camcorder a second Ace and you will realize that life is more than what you have inside the squared circle. You have in your life what I want. You have someplace to go and someone to go to when this is all said and done. Slaughter seems to think Stephen Johnson is weak. I just wonder if Slaughter could be the star he is, the “Enforcer of Team NWA” without the humanity that Stephen provides him. Without that humanity Ace, Slaughter is just one more clean shot to the head from arriving DOA at the hospital in Boston, Bloomington, or Bristol. That humanity is what your guardian angel watches over. And it’s your angel that I’m going to get to step aside so that his daddy can be taught a lesson about appreciating what he has. You are right Ace. Neither of us will walk out of Bloomington the same men we are when we walk in. It will be brutal. It will be violent. And the Last Man Standing will beat some appreciation of what you have back into that cracked and curdled skull of yours. Not just so I can win a match, but so you don’t lose you’re greatest titles: Husband and Father…

His wife Stephanie has been horribly attacked, and Ace Slaughter seems to have been profoundly affected by it. But, if anything, this has simply fuelled his hatred for Wehrman.

Slaughter: <cough> Dmetri Wehrman!! Are you ready boy!?!?! Are you ready for a fight!?!?! The Assembly Hall is not gonna be big enough to contain both of us!! With my personal life unravelling, all I have is wrestling. I will NOT let you take this away from me!! YOU HEAR ME YOU SON OF A...

Dmetri: I know about responsibility. Not on the same level that you know it, but I do appreciate it. You want to be the provider, the purveyor, and the protector. Right now, you have to be wondering if you can do any of it. Your wife in a hospital bed, fighting for life makes your life seem pretty insignificant right now. Don’t make me put you right next to her. Your guardian angel saved two lives since you left the UK. Don’t add a third to those shoulder. I will do what I have to do to regain my Championship in the GLWA, and if I have to break your soul or your skull, it will happen. The paramedics will need to come to ringside. And when they haul your broken, twisted body out of the ring, I again will be the Last Man Standing.

Once again, Wehrman refusing to rise to the bait. But I wonder if taking the moral high ground is the right way to go? Nice guys finish last, they say. Slaughter has a seeming mania, focused on this match. Will Wehrman be able to stand up to that? I simply don't know. This will be followed by a Jason Stallion victory party, hosted by Team NWA.

Jason: Speaking of the XFL, I'm glad Utah wasn't given a franchise. Can you imagine an XFL franchise in Utah? You think they were having trouble gaining fans before, wait till our cheerleaders came out in ankle-length cheerleading outfits. Sports teams as a whole in Utah have perplexed me. Like the Utah Jazz for instance...how many people in Utah listen to Jazz anyways? Four?

**a few people start to get bored as Jason nervously sips his water**

Fifteen minutes of that? Kill me please.

But the finale of our evening is more complicated that that. Because in the middle of the card there will be a very special six man tag. Gavin Williams, Roadkill and Nightmare will take on Kid Ego, Malice and Joey Brannon. The winning team will advance to the main event of the evening, where those three will do battle in a triple threat match. The prize? A shot at the NeWA World's Heavyweight Title, the richest prize in our sport. All of these men are primed and focused, on what could be the biggest night of their careers. You just don't know when these chances are going to come again. We've already heard from Williams, but no less a competitor is Roadkill, who finds himself laid up in a hospital.

Letner: "Well I asked the doctors about my beloved GLWA employee. And well... it doesn't look like he'll be walking into Primetime, so he'll be shipping OUT of the GLWA! In fact..... heh..... it doesn't look like he'll be walking AT ALL!"

As he spoke those words, Annie swung her open hand to the head of Letner and slapped his face!! Normally it would be a mere insult, but it hurt him enough due to the scrapes and injuries sustained at Love Hurts. Robert Letner's reaction? An evil smile, as he chuckled and limped away from Roadkill's wife. Her eyes burned a whole through his heart -- if he had one -- as Letner left the Medical Center. She hated Letner even more now. How could the man insinuate her husband would never walk again?? This wasn't something to be joked about. Yes, that was most of her anger. But there was a little piece of anger reserved for the possibility that it could be true. And slowly, the expression on her beautiful face changed from ire to sadness. Once again, her eyes began to water. Annie slumped back down into the lobby chair and dug her face into the palms of her soft hands.

Nightmare, meanwhile, has proposed to his girlfriend Amanda and vowed to retire from wrestling if he can't win at Primetime. He seems emotional, but highly driven.
 

Nightmare: I used to watch my opponents to scout them on that TV. But I haven’t done that for this match. This match is all about me. Weather or not I can do it. Ego, Malice, Brannon, Roadkill, Williams, none of them matter now. All that matters is my performance inside that squared circle.

[Nightmare takes a deep breath and swallows hard.]

Nightmare: Everything comes down to this. Monday. GLWA Primetime.

Everything comes down to Primetime is right, but Nightmare is wrong if he thinks Ego, Malice and Brannon won't have anything to say about it. Malice in fact has had plenty to say, continuing this week's theme of emotional interviews.

Malice has the dishevelled appearance of having been up for several days. His clothes are wrinkled, and his face looks like someone used it as a punching bag recently. He just stands there stiff and rigid gripping the podium so tight that his knuckles have turned white, his shaggy, iron-gray brows twitch slightly above his pebble-colored, bloodshot eyes as he remains focused on the picture of Jason Stallion with the GLWA title belt.

Anger, determination, hatred, and MALICE are what is scribbled in the squiggly lines of broken blood vessels blanketing his swollen eyes.

Malice slowly points to the picture as his stare of death refocuses on the staff as if they were the focus of his discontent.

Malice: That, (dramatic pause) is why I am here. That, (another pause) is why five other men will be lie broken at my feet come Primetime.

* * * * *

Kid Ego: "For example, Nightmare reminds me of my Milwaukee Bucks. Young, with flashes of brilliance, followed by many signs of stupidity and disappointment. You root for them, but deep down you know that they’ll blow it and they aren’t on the level with the big dogs. Which, if you paid attention, is the same description that is often heard when talking about Nightmare, down to the bad goatee”

Harsh words from Kid Ego. No-one wants to be compared to the Milwaukee Bucks. And he was little kinder on his own team, comparing them to the Brewers, although he seemed to think that was a compliment. Roadkill and Malice were the Green Bay Packers, which he seemed to think was an insult. Word to the wise, kid. Last time the Pack made the playoffs versus the last time the Brewers made the playoffs?

That leaves Joey Brannon, who has been engaging in some - ahem - questionable activity as of late.

[One wonders exactly what a skinny white boy like Joey could want in this bad area of the city, but his singing soon answers that question.]

Joey: Oh, we’re off to see the Dealer. The wonderful dealer of drugs!

He’ll get you up, he’ll get you buzzed, just stay away from the fuzz!

He is the one because because because because because…

Because of the wonderful things that he does!

However, he did receive a motivational pep talk from Hunter Hearst Hamster, so God only knows what the future holds. That's as good as anything for the GLWA motto.

And, as always, we close the show with James Johnson's predictions for this week's card.

Lowy/Jones vs Rawlings/Striker - Lowy and Jones to get a debut win.

Gunz vs Jones - Jones will be too strong in this one.

Williams/Roadkill/Nightmare vs Ego/Malice/Brannon - A very close match. Williams' team may just sneak it.

Young vs Cage - Cage in a relatively untroubled win.

Williams vs Anthony - the former BJWC champion could edge it, in perhaps the match of the night.

Bruce vs Banks - The smart money says Banks.

Slaughter vs Wehrman - Another great match. I'll take Slaughter in a slight upset.

Triple Threat Main Event - If his team wins earlier, then I like Williams to pull off an amazing feat and win - consider this would be his third match of the night. If the other team wins, then it's too close to call, but my hunch says Malice.

I'm James Johnson, and this was GLWA Roundup. See you next time!