AND NOW TIME FOR THE
SHOW...
FIRST
HOUR!!!
{Camera opens up showing
President Letner sitting behind his desk. You can hear all the fans in
Morgantown, booing the President}
LETNER: Hello folks, I would personally like to thank you all for tunning into GLWA's first 'Primetime'. Tonight we break new ground for the GLWA. Some exciting things are going to happen within the GLWA, including Love Hurts next month...then WrestleBowl which is less than three months away.
{Letner sits there in a tie and suit, hands folded together on a desk}
LETNER: Tonight we will see many great matches and I promise the future will be just as good. Of course, we need a few changes here and there.
{Letner takes a deep breath}
LETNER: Thats why as of right
now...I have two things I need to say, concerning the GLWA Titles.
{Sits up in his chair}
LETNER: In an astounding vote from our vieing public, we have elected to change the GLWA Five Lakes Heavyweight Championship Title...to just the GLWA Heavyweight Title. We feel this will increase revenue and boost the credability of GLWA's top title.
{Letner smirks}
LETNER: Plus its easier to say.
{Letner unclasps his hands}
LETNER: And one last
thing. I have been reviewing it with some of the Committee, and searching
deep within myself for an answer concerning the GLWA Tag Titles. Currently
they are held by 'Kid Ego' Diesel Warren and Malice. But as of right
now...the titles are retired.
{Loud boos from the Morgantown crowd}
LETNER: Some of you may think this is because I hate Kid Ego and Malice...but I must do this. With only one official tag team in the GLWA...it is unfair. So as of this very moment, backstage employees are getting the GLWA Tag Titles back...and they will be put in the GLWA vault.
{He leans back in his chair}
LETNER: Now after all that dirty work is done...WELCOME...to GLWA Primetime!!!
EDGEBROOK: My name is James Edgebrook.
KING: And my name is Richard King.
EDGEBROOK:
Seems like President Letner already welcomed everyone to GLWA Primetime, so it
looks like we are all set to go for this historical day in GLWA
history.
{Suddenly, the lights go out in the arena.}
KING:
What the?!
EDGEBROOK: A power outage a good way to start the first
Primetime!
{A low thunder echoes throughout the
arena}
EDGEBROOK: Actually... I don't think it's a power
outage! I think the electricity is just about to erupt!
KING:
Oh no!!
{The crowd erupts as the thunder morphs in the opening drum beats
of "The Beautiful People, the RK Remix". White spotlights flash like
lightning in harmony with the drums. And out steps ROADKILL to a frenzied
ovation!!!}
# And I don't want you and I don't need you
# Don't bother to resist or I'll beat you
# It's not your fault that you're always wrong
# The weak ones are there to justify the strong!
{Roadkill walks down the aisle
staring emotionlessly into the crowd. He is dressed in black jeans and a
black BJWC t-shirt. His head cleanly shaven. A goatee on his
chiseled face. And a look in his cold green eyes that could kill!}
# The beautiful people, the
beautiful people
# It's all relative to the size of your
steeple
# Capitalism has made it this way,
# Old-fashioned fascism will take it away!
{Roadkill reaches the ring and
quickly rolls in underneath the bottom rope.}
# There's no time to discriminate,
# Hate every motherfucker that's in your way
{He storms to the opposite corner,
steps up on the second rope, and raises his clenched fists into the air with
authority! The intense crowd welcomes The 'Killer with applause and camera
flashes}
# HEY! YOU! WHAT DO
YOU SEE?
# SOMETHIN' BEAUTIFUL, SOMETHIN' FREE?
# HEY! YOU! ARE YOU TRYIN' TO BE MEAN?
# IF YOU CROSS MY PATH MAN, YOU'RE GONNA GET BEAT!!
{The music fades as Roadkill grabs
a microphone from the ring announcer}
ROADKILL: Ladies and gentlemen!
{The crowd is still on its feet
cheering!}
EDGEBROOK: Can
you believe the reception this man is getting?!?
{Roadkill takes a moment to bask in the applause, then
brings the mic to his mouth}
ROADKILL: It's been a helluva long time since I've
done this. And SHIT it feels GOOD!!
{More cheers}
ROADKILL: But you all know I'm back, you all know
what I'm all about, so let's get straight to the point. Two weeks ago, I
came out of Riot feeling a little down. I mean, I DID lose to Jackson
Dane...
{Boos}
ROADKILL: ... but I also put good
ol' Robbie Letner through a table!
{Cheers}
ROADKILL: But I still came out feeling a little
down. So after a little motivational speech from James Edgebrook, I
decided the best thing for me would be to go back to doing what I do best:
taking names and kicking ass! Now, I just happen to have my little list
here with me. And I came out here to run it down and address each person
on the list.
{He reaches into
his back pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. He unfolds the
sheet and begins to read...}
ROADKILL: Coffee... beer... pizza pockets?? Oh
shit, wait a sec, wrong list!
{The crowd laughs it up, as Roadkill reaches into his other
pocket and pulls out another sheet. He unfolds that one}
ROADKILL: Ahhh here we
go. Malice. {Boos} Jake Cage. {More boos} And
mister ROBERT LETNER.
{And the
crowd reacts the most negatively toward the last name}
ROADKILL: First of all,
Malice... our resident alcoholic. Two weeks ago, you come out here and
interfere in my match against Jackson Dane, and then you have the BALLS to say I
don't need to worry about you interfering again?? That it was just to get
my attention?? First of all, there are BETTER ways of getting my attention
than costing me a match -- ways that WON'T lead to YOUR ASS getting
kicked! Checking into Alcholics Anonymous, for instance, or cutting down
your spending on crack whores. Now THAT would get my attention AND ensure
that you don't piss me off. But unfortunately, thinking isn't one of your
strong suits. So I'll tell you what -- I don't blame you for having issues
with me. After all, you could NEVER beat me back in the BJWC. And my
first two nights back on the job, I get two main-event slots. I'm gonna
let this slide... FOR NOW.
{Roadkill begins pacing around the ring}
ROADKILL: Next up, the man
who wil be my opponent later tonight...
{Crowd chants out WHO?}
ROADKILL: Jake Cage.
{WHO?}
ROADKILL: Team NWA member
{WHO?}
ROADKILL: NeWA Tag Team Champion
{WHO?}
ROADKILL: NeWA North-American Champion
{WHO?}
KING: Ahh, James, make them stop! Sounds
like an owl sanctuary in here!!!
EDGEBROOK: Oh come on Richard, they're just having
fun!!
{Roadkill sneers}
ROADKILL: You know, Jake,
you must be pretty good if you've got two NeWA Titles in your possession... and
you must be pretty good if Letner hand-picked you to try and take me out.
Notice I said... TRY. Because god knows, Letner tried to take me out time
and time again back in the BJWC. He broke my leg once. He severely
injured my back. But hey... GUESS WHAT... I'm still here! And for
Letner to think that he can just send YOU out to get rid of me that
easily?? He must be dumber than he looks! Because Jake, says right
here you're on my ass-kicking list. And that's EXACTLY what is gonna
happen. WHICH... ladies and gentlemen... brings me to our final name on
the list.
{A tremendous chorus
of boos from the Morgantown crowd, who know which name is left on the list}
ROADKILL: Our dear president
and owner, mister Robe....
{"ANXIETY" by the Black Eyed Peas interrupts
Roadkill. The crowd boos because they know whose music that is. And
out steps Robert Letner at the top of the ramp, with a microphone in his
hands. He looks none too pleased}
KING: Oh buddy, here we go. Shit is going to hit the
fan!
LETNER: Just WHAT
THE HELL do you think you're doing?!? This is MY company, this is MY
show!! Yet you're out here, without MY permission may I add, wasting
valuable air time!!
ROADKILL: Wasting?? WASTING?!? Robbie,
you've got it all wrong, son! I'm out here giving what these people
want! Why else would YOU have put me in two consectuive main events since
I got here?!
LETNER:
First of all, I am NOT your son; and you are to address me as MISTER LETNER, not
Robbie!!!
ROADKILL: Yes
sir, shitster Letner, sir!!
LETNER: What did you just say??!?
ROADKILL: Mister?
{Robert Letner is growing
increasingly frustrated with Roadkill}
LETNER: And secondly, I put out in the main event
because that's where our highest ratings are. Because I want as MANY
PEOPLE as possible to see you embarrassed and get beaten!!
ROADKILL: Or as many as
possible see YOU put through a table!!
{Crowd cheers; but Letner is fuming}
LETNER: So that's the way
it's gonna be?!? FINE!! Because tonight, the main event, will no
longer be only a lumberjack match! It will be a....
ROADKILL: WAAAAAAIT a
goddamn second! Hold your premature verbalation for a second! See,
THAT'S what I'm talking about! When I first got here, you were all...
times have changed, I've changed... well shit, I didn't know you changed SO
much! I didn't know that you've grown so CHICKEN SHIT that you need to use
your presidential powers to deal with me! You want me out?? You want
to get rid of me?? But you can't do it YOURSELF, CAN YOU!?!?
LETNER: I CAN! I've
beaten you many times before, Roadkill, and you know it!!!
ROADKILL: And YOU know that
you can't do it again!
LETNER: Oh how WRONG you are!!
ROADKILL: Then PROVE it,
MISTER Letner! Prove it! No more games! Just YOU... against...
ME!
{Crowd cheers
approvingly}
ROADKILL:
And it sounds like everyone wants to see it happen!
LETNER: No no no, Roadkill. See: I'm owner and
president! I make the matches; not YOU, and not THEM!
ROADKILL: Save your breath,
ROBBIE. Because all I'm hearing from you is... PWUOCK PWUOCK PWUOOOOCK!
{And so the Morgantown begins
imitating Roadkill, sending out chicken calls to Letner}
LETNER: STOP THAT!
STOP THAT! FINE!!! You want a match?!?! I'll be GLAD to
break your bones AGAIN! And it's gonna happen in four weeks, at LOVE
HURTS! It'll be Robert Letner versus Roadkill!
{Crowd cheers in approval}
LETNER: And in two weeks from tonight on the next
edition of Primetime, we are going to have the official contract signing, so
that there's no way you can weasel your way out of this! And to give you a
sporting chance, I'll be giving you that night off! No match! No
wrestling! You just come, ready to sign your health and your career away
on the dotted line!
{Crowd boos as "ANXIETY" hits the speakers once again}
EDGEBROOK: Did you hear
THAT, King?!? It'll be ROBERT LETNER versus ROADKILL at LOVE HURTS!
KING: I hope our beloved
owner and president gets rid of him, once and for all!
{Camera's cut backstage where we stand outside of President Letner's}
LETNER: So it's a deal?
{A voice on a speakerphone can be heard, but we can't make out who it is}
LETNER: Yep. Roadkill faces Jake Cage tonight...then at Love Hurts its me and The 'Killer.
{The unrecognizable voice can be heard again}
LETNER: Cool. Well man, I'll see you later tonight. Roadkill will find out once again...you don't screw with Robert Letner.
{Voice again}
LETNER: See ya then bro.
{The voice goes away as so does our scene}
King: WOW! An appearence by the champion so early! Maybe he's going to back out of his tag match!
Edgebrook: Why would you make such a ludicrious suggestion?
(The curtains part and Dmitre Wehrman steps through with his right arm in a sling. The gasp from the audience is audible)
King: He's got to! He's going to back out of the match!
(Dmitre pulls himself into the ring with one arm and motions for a microphone)
Dmitre: Not quite the look you were all expecting from me tonight, was it?
Crowd: NO!
Dmitre: Well, sometimes, no matter how carefull you are, life bites you in the ass. But I was told I had a match tonight with Jason Stallion, and I plan to be there.
(The crowd pops for the nobility of this action)
King: He can't be serious. He's even more useless than normal now!
Edgebrook: Give the man some sympathy for petesake!
Dmitre: See, I know Bob Letner is looking for a reason to strip me of my Five Lakes Title...excuse me...Heavyweight Title. If I didn't show up, I would give him just the reason he's been looking for. So Jason, seeing as I only have one good arm, my left one, lets do this tonight Left handed. I'll be here, how about you?
(Dmitre drops the mic and walks back toward the dressing room)
Edgebrook: That folks is the heart of a champion...
King: And the brain of a mongoose. He's doomed!
GLWA Brutality Title Match - TLC Match
EDGEBROOK: It�s time for the Brutality title to be put on the line, the champion Chris Saint is already in the ring for this TLC battle surely to become a classic
KING: Why is Saint in the ring first? Isn�t he the champ?
EDGEBROOK: No strat
KING: Oh
(Suddnely the lights go out as "Let it Out" by
Hoobastank begins to bare over the PA system.)
[This is ours, we made it with our everything
Something real, as real as it could ever be
You gave me all of yourself, I gave you all of me
Now set it free from yourself, for everyone to see.]
[Twin spotlights hit the stage as
Nightmare bounces out of the back.]
Edgebrook: Here comes Nightmare! And look at his
eyes! He's all fired up!
[I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm
gonna show you how I feel
I'm not afraid to let it out
(who cares if you dont like it)
(if you don't like it)]
[Go ahead, you know just what you want to do
Don't deny, you feel cause I feel it to
Take a look all around, you'll feel it in the air
From the sky to the ground, I feel it everywhere]
[Nightmare begins to walk to the
ring.]
King: You're actually
right. Nightmare does look focused. First time for everything!
[I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm gonna show you how I feel
I'm
not afraid to let it out
(who cares if you dont like
it)
I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm gonna show you how I feel
I'm
not afraid to let it out
To let it out
(who cares if you don't like it)
(who cares if you don't like it)
(who cares if you don't like it)
(who cares if you don't like it)]
[Nightmare slides into the ring
under the bottom rope.]
[This
is ours, we made it with our everything
Something real,
as real as it could ever be
You gave me all of
yourself, I gave you all of me
Now set it free from
yourself, for everyone to see]
[Nightmare jumps up onto a turnbuckle and throws his arms
into the air, basking in the cheers of the fans.]
[I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm
gonna show you how I'm free
I'm not afraid to let it
out
(who cares if you dont like it)
I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm
gonna show you how I'm free
I'm not afraid to let it
out
To let it out
To let it
out
To let it out
(who cares
if you don't like it)
(if you don't like it)
(if you don't like it)])
(Both men look at the brutality title hanging in the ring, but Chris Saint quickly gains the upperhand, connecting with two right crosses to the face, sending Nightmare staggering back into the ropes. The champ takes a step back, before charging at Nightmare, sending them both over the top rope as Saint connects with a clothesline)
EDGEBROOK: Well, it took roughly three moves before this match moved outside, this is gonna get real ugly before it gets better
KING: Can we chant the letters of that stupid hardcore feds where they hit each other with light bulbs and other retarded stuff?
EDGEBROOK: No
KING: You�re a poopy head
(On the outside of the ring, Saint once again takes charge, throwing a knee into the challengers midsection, doubling him over. Using an Irish whip, Saint sends Nightmare spine first into ring post)
EDGEBROOK: It has been all Saint so far in this match
KING: How many guys named Nightmare has the NWA had? Four? Twelve?
EDGEBROOK: Would you shut up?
(Chris charges, attempting another clothesline, but Nightmare counters with a drop toe hold, slamming Saint face first into the ring post. Almost instantly, blood begins to pour from the forehead of the champ)
KING: It looks like all the blood spilled has been Saint so far too
(Nightmare rolls Saint into the ring, quickly reaching under ring and pulls out a steel chair as the crowd cheers)
EDGEBROOK: Something tells me that this won�t be the only blood that touches the mat tonight on Primetime
KING: Awww�..Jimmy got his period!! Would you like a training bra?
EDGEBROOK: How do you still have a job?
(Nightmare slides into the ring, just as Saint is getting to his feet. The champ is still doubled over, when Nightmare runs at him�)
EDGEBROOK: What a DROPKICK!!
KING: Touch�
(As Nightmare leaps, he put the chair in front of his feet, so when he dropkicked Saint, the champ took the dropkick with the chair, sending him flying across the ring)
EDGEBROOK: It is all Nightmare right now, if Chris wants to keep that belt, he better pick up the pace
(The challenger is almost stalking the prone Saint, who is struggling to get up with the help of the ropes. Nightmare is almost taunting Saint, slowly bring the chair up. Chris thinks quick, throwing a desperation uppercut which finds it mark�.in Nightmare�s groin)
EDGEBROOK: Desperation is mother of invention King
KING: Nah, he just likes balls
(Instantly, Nightmare drops the chair and clutches at his groin. Saint pops up, grabbing the head of Nightmare and dropping him, face first with a DDT onto the chair. As quickly as he sprung up, Saint collapses onto the mat)
EDGEBROOK: Both men are down in a heap, hardly moving, both bleeding profusely
KING: Remind you of your prom night Jimmy?
EDGEBROOK: I bet your mom did porno before she had you, possibly when she was knocked up by that hobo
KING: You sonofva!
(Both men are on their feet, Chris Saint throws a wild haymaker, which Nightmare sidesteps, connecting with a back elbow to Saint�s midsection, letting Nightmare connect with a rocker dropper. Before Saint�s face even hits the ground, Nightmare is on top of him, pummeling him with right and left hands, opening the cut on his forehead that much more)
EDGEBROOK: Nightmare is a man possessed in that ring
KING: He probably just realized what a loser he is, I�d be freaking pissed off too if I spent half my BJWC talking to a damn cat too
EDGEBROOK: You need a life
(Nightmare drags Saint to his feet, setting him up for his Darkest Dream finisher. Saint sits out, grabbing Nightmare�s tights and sends him crashing, face first into the middle turnbuckle. As Nightmare turns, leaning against the bottom buckle, Saint gets to his feet, runs, and drives a knee directly into the face of Nightmare, connecting with a sickening crack)
EDGEBROOK: GOOD GOD WHAT IMPACT!!!
KING: Do you think it says Nightmare on his insurance card?
(While Nightmare is rolling around the mat, holding his nose, Saint slides out of the ring, pulling out the ladder to a HUGE pop from the crowd)
EDGEBROOK: This is gonna hurt someone
KING: Well duh
(Saint pushes the ladder into the ring, starts to climb through the ropes, but stops. A sick grin grows on his face as he reaches under the ring again, pulling out two more tables, sliding them into the ring as well)
EDGEBROOK: Forget hurting some one, this is going to borderline on crippling someone
KING: If I was crippled and rode in a chair, I�d put baseball cards in my spokes so it sounded like I was riding a motor bike
EDGEBROOK: You have no shame do you?
(With all the toys in the ring, Nightmare is on his feet, waiting for Saint. Nightmare connects with a boot to the stomach, but goes for another and Chris catches it. Saint pulls him in, then lifts him, and turns it into a T-bone suplex)
EDGEBROOK: What a counter by the champion
(As Nightmare is prone on the mat, Saint goes and sets up one of the tables leaning against the turnbuckles. Chris goes and drags Nightmare to his feet, hits two lefts to the stomach then smashes Nightmare�s head into the table, leaving him face first on the table.)
EDGEBROOK: I hope their premium�s are paid up
(Saint charges, leaps, hitting a stinger splash into Nightmare, sending the challenger through the table as the crowd POPS)
EDGEBROOK: Good god Nightmare may be broken in half
KING: I bet he has to pull out splinters for days
(The brutality champ is mocking the fallen Nightmare, than slowly saunters over to the ladder, slowly setting up the ladder. He climbs two rungs, than taunts Nightmare, who is hardly moving)
EDGEBROOK: I think taking this extra time is going to come back to haunt the champion
KING: Bah, that is why he is the champion
(Saint climbs two more rungs, the belt is in his grasp. He reaches up, gets one hand on the title, then with a unforeseen burst, Nightmare is on his feet, and pushes the ladder, it teeters for a moment, before falling to the mat, sending Saint crashing to the mat along with it, Nightmare falls back to the mat, still bleeding heavily from his nose)
EDGEBROOK: Saint was so close!!! I told you that extra time was going to haunt him
KING: Both men are down, still anybodies match here
EDGEBROOK: Was that real color commentating?
KING: It�s in my contract I have to say something worthwhile at least once a match
EDGEBROOK: Fair enough, both men are beginning to get to their feet
[Both men climb the ladder. They arrive at the top
at the ladder at the same time. The two men exchange punches.
Nightmare gets the advantage and steps over to Saint's side of the ladder.]
EDGEBROOK: What the hell is
Nightmare doing?
[Nightmare
grabs Saint and pulls him into a sideslam position on top of the ladder.]
King: NO WAY! NO WAY!!
[Nightmare flips Saint foreward
and dives off the top of the ladder, slamming Saint's head into the mat!]
EDGEBROOK: I don't believe
it!! Nightmare just hit the Darkest Dreams off the top of that
ladder! Saint's body swung around so far that the top of his head just
slammed into the mat! My god! Chris Saint could have just broken his
neck!
[The crowd heavily chants
"Holy Shit" as Nightmare slowly begins to rise. Nightmare slowly climbs
the ladder. He grabs the title and Chris Saint still has not
moved.]
EDGEBROOK: Nightmare did it!!! Nightmare is the NEW GLWA
Brutality champ!
{Nightmare is
handed the Brutality Title and a microphone as his music plays}
Nightmare: Cut the damn
music! Turn it off!
[The
music shuts off.]
Nightmare:
Well would you look at this?
[Nightmare holds up the Brutality title.]
Nightmare: I guess this means I'm
just a little brutal. At least a little more brutal than Chris Saint over
there.
[Nightmare points at the
bloodied figure of Chris Saint, still lying motionless on the mat.]
Nightmare: My past used to be what
I cared about. Gaining peoples approval. Now, I don't care about what
other people think! I care about this title around my waist. I
didn't care about that old title. That's why I took care of it.
That's why it no longer exists. And now I...
{"Anxiety" blares out of the speakers as President
Letner walks out onto the ramp. Quickly the music stops}
LETNER: Tonight must be when I
take care of a shit load of losers.
{Crowd boos}
LETNER: It's all nice of you to enjoy the title you just
won from Chris Saint, but I have a little plan for that title.
{Letner smiles to the crowd}
LETNER: We are going to turn that
title into a RESPECTABLE title. As of right now...the GLWA Brutality
Title...has 24/7 Rules. So watch your back Nightmare...you never know
who's behind you.
** Eric Bruce jumps over the barricade behind Nightmare
and gets into the ring. **
Edgebrook: What's Eric Bruce doing here?
King: Who?
Edgebrook: The Guy in the ring.
** Eric taps Nightmare on the
shoulder and as soon as Nightmare turns around Eric hits him with a stiff
lariat, Knocking him to the mat. Eric takes this oppurtunity to climb out of the
ring and grab a table. He gets the table and slides it in the ring and sets it
up just out of the corner. Eric then grabs Nightmare and drags him over to the
corner that he just set the table up near and begins climbing the ropes while
holding onto Nightmares neck. **
Edgebrook: What the hell is he doing? He can't possibly do
this. He is going to try and hit him with The Appocolyptic Demise through a
table.
KING: He must be
uber-pissed about the ass-whooping Kid Ego gave him earlier.
** Eric picks Nightmare up onto
the top rope with him and positions Nightmares head between his legs. He then
hooks Nightmares arms behind his bach and jumps off the top rope deliviring a
double underhook face buster from the top rope through a table. **
Edgebrook: OH MY GOD, APPOCOLYPTIC
DEMISE THROUGH A TABLE, NIGHTMARE IS DEAD! HE HAS TO BE!
King: That was AWESOME.
** Eric grabs a microphone from
the ring announcer **
Eric: I
Told you that I'd be making an impact tonight. Now, for the reason as to why I
did this. You see, back when I was in the BJWC, there was a little group that I
was in, Hardcore Annihilation, I believe it was called. Nightmare was in it and,
for some strange
reason, thought that he was the leader.
You see, that is the true reason that I left the BJWC. Because I was tired of
Nightmare trying to boss me around. Now, that I've come back to the BJWC, or
GLWA as it is now, I've come to prove that I am better than Nightmare.
Nightmare, you drove me from the BJWC, now I'm going to drive you from the
GLWA.
** Eric drops the
microphone and walks out of the arena. Still on top of the ramp, is
Letner**
LETNER: Sweet dreams, Nightmare. Hope you enjoy
your new title.
COMMERCIAL
{Cameras cut back to inside the arena}
Edgebrook: That was a hell of a match, between Nightmare
and Saint. I can't believe what Eric Bruce did though.
King: That is one point that I
would love to agree with you on.
Edgebrook: It appears that we are being joined in the booth
by former BJWC president Malice.
King: What is up with him, refusing to acknowledge the
merger and the phenomenon known as The Great Lakes Wrestling Alliance.
Malice: Funny you should ask that
King.
King: Oh Malice, I didn't
see you there.
Malice: That's
OK King, because I'm not going to be seeing you there.
King: What do you mean by that?
(Suddenly "Welcome to the Jungle"
by Guns & Roses blares over the sound system.)
King: What is going on?
Edgebrook: It appears that we are going to be joined by
someone equally as annoying as you King.
King: Who?
(Mike "Mad Dog" Timmons, former BJWC announcer, appears at
the top of the rampway.)
Malice: Not joined by. Timmons is replacing you
King.
King: Why? I'm a
fan of yours Malice!
Malice:
Because this is match is officially a BJWC match, and I won't have a GLWA
announcer calling my match.
King: But Malice, you are going to have to face the
fac...............
Malice: You can leave on your own accord, or I can
help you leave. Either way I don't want to hear another word from you.
(King begrudgingly gets up and
leaves as Mike Timmons takes his seat with a large smile on his face.
Malice shakes his hand before making his way to the ring.)
Edgebrook: Well fans, it appears
that my former partner is once again joining me in the announcers booth.
Timmons: You thought you could get
rid of me, well it looks like you were wrong James.
Edgebrook: Apparently.
Ring Announcer: Standing in the ring at 6 foot 3 inches,
weighting in at 240 pounds, out of Jacksonville Florida,
M-A-L-I-C-E.
Regular Match
Malice vs. Ace Slaughter
EDGEBROOK: Malice definitely looks like he�s more focused this week. The thrashing he gave Yoshi will go down in the annals of the GLWA
TIMMONS: And we can expect more of the same this week from the Boss.
RING ANNOUNCER: And his opponent, weighing in at 285 pounds, from the outer realm of reality, Ace Slaughter!!
(A loud siren echoes throughout the arena. Some of the crowd is holding their ears. Two large white spotlights start to rotate around.)
Click, Click Boom!!
(Half the crowd is cheering loudly. The other half of the crowd is starting to boo.)
EDGEBROOK: That�s something I�m still not getting used to. The crowd is booing Ace Slaughter, loudly!!
TIMMONS: That�s correct, James. From what I have been hearing from the fans, is that, they don�t appreciate Ace Slaughter antics of late.
(Ace Slaughter walks out onto the entrance ramp. Slaughter is wearing blue jean shorts with black kneepads and black elbow pads, with a black t-shirt with the Team NWA logo on it. Slaughter is wearing a black mask, with a large white star over his right eyehole, on his mask. In the center of the star is a red Anarchy style A. His long black hair pokes through a small hole, in the back of the mask. He is wearing black boots. The crowd explodes with thunderous boos. Slaughter starts to walk, as he raises his fists into the air, smirking arrogantly)
On those Saturdays,
when kids go out and play,
yo I was
VP in my room I let the stereo blaze,
wasn't faded,
not jaded,
just a kid with a pad
and pen and a big imagination.
All this,
I seek,
I find I push the envelope
to the line,
make it,
break
it,
take it,
until I'm
overrated.
Click, Click Boom.
I'm coming down on the stereo,
hear
me on the radio,
click, click boom.
(Ace starts to thrash around along with the music. He continues to walk down to the ring.)
I'm coming down with the new style and you
know it's buck wild.
Click, Click Boom
I'm on the radio station touring round the nation,
leaving the scene in devastation.
I can see it in my mind,
I can see it in their eyes.
(Ace extends his arms out, as he spins around one full rotation. Then throws his arms into the air, with his index finger extended. Then, with his hands into fists he thrusts his arms down as he leaps into the air. When Ace Slaughter lands, a large explosion of pyrotechnics is displayed near the entrance ramp.)
It's close enough to touch it now,
but far away enough to die.
Click,
Click Boom.
(Slaughter continues to slowly walk down the aisle, towards the ring.)
What the hell is wrong with me?
My mom and dad weren't perfect,
but
still you don't hear no cryin ass bitchin from me,
like
there seems to be on everybody's CD
so just sit back and
relax and let me have your head for a minute,
I can show
you something in it,
that has yet to be presented,
oh yeah!
Click, Click Boom.
I�m coming down on the stereo, hear me on the radio
station, touring around the nation
click, click boom.
I�m coming down with the new style and you know it�s buck
wild.
Click, Click Boom
I�m on
the radio station touring around the nation,
leaving the
scene in devastation.
(Ace gets to ringside. Ace Slaughter then leaps onto the ring apron. Ace looks around, for a second, until he enters the ring. Slaughter walks to the closest corner and climbs up to the second turnbuckle. With a mixed reaction, from the crowd, Ace Slaughter raises his arms, to the crowd.)
EDGEBROOK: An interesting match here. Ace is part of the three-headed monster that is Team NWA and Malice just hates everyone.
DING! DING! DING!
Edgebrook: Malice charges across the ring, but Ace is ready
and the two lock up and struggle into the turnbuckle.
Timmons: I've never liked this Ace
guy, and Malice is going to beet the hell out of him.
Edgebrook: Ace with a headlock
that seems unusually effective. He grinds on Malice's head causing Malice
to cry out in agony as he desperately tries to escape.
Timmons: Technical wrestling has
never been one of Malice's strong points.
Edgebrook: Malice gets a bit of a run and shoves
Ace towards the ropes, Slaughter comes back hard and both competitors go
for a shoulder block with neither man getting the advantage. Once again
they lock up and struggle into the corner.
TIMMONS: There really isn�t too much of a size difference here between the two men. But Malice is just plain rougher in the ring.
EDGEBROOK: Collar and elbow tie up now, both men jockeying for leverage. A hard knee to the midsection delivered by Malice, followed by a knee to the head.
TIMMONS: This is the type of wrestling we saw from the Boss in the BJWC and it�s what we�ll see again now that he�s here.
EDGEBROOK: Slaughter now backs into the corner. Hard lefts and rights by Malice have him pinned in there. The referee tries to get between them and give Ace a chance to recover.
(Malice just shoves the referee out of the way and gets met by a low blow from Ace, buying him some time)
TIMMONS: That was a blatant shot below the belt. This match should be over.
EDGEBROOK: Serves Malice right for laying a hand on an official. Ace now down on the floor, gathering himself while Malice is getting back to his feet. Both men are veterans and both are using this time to recover from a fast start.
TIMMONS: Especially when there is no count going to get Slaughter back into the ring. Is this the kind of thing that�s been happening around here since I get shipped out?
EDGEBROOK: Ace now back up on the ring apron. Malice right after him.
TIMMONS: Showing the aggressiveness we expected�
EDGEBROOK: Ace drops him throat first across the top rope.
TIMMONS: Another obvious cheap shot.
EDGEBROOK: Slaughter back in, locking in a T-Bone Suplex. Drive Malice to the canvas. Quick cover�
ONE�
TWO�
Thr� Kick out by Malice!
TIMMONS: What type of crap is this? That was an obvious quick count! It just so happens that a wrestler of Malice�s skill can deal with such incompetence�
(Mike starts to take his headset off and head down to the ring)
Edgebrook: I don't know if you are under any kind of contract, but if you are here to call a match, then sit your ass down and call the match.
TIMMONS: Relax� I don�t need that scumbag King taking my seat again.
Edgebrook:
Ace sends Malice into the turnbuckle, but Malice reverses the throw and changes
direction.
Timmons:
Rather then sending Slaughter into the turnbuckles, he intentionally sent him
straight at the ref. Ace and the ref smashed heads and both are
down. Things are about to get interesting; I think I'll hold off on that
beer.
Edgebrook: We've seen
this happen before Mike.
Timmons: Malice quickly lifts up the dazed Slaughter and
delivers a quick DDT right onto the ref�s head. This is where it gets exciting
James.
Edgebrook: Malice just
used the ref as a foreign object!
Timmons: But the ref isn't foreign! He's part of the
match. I'd keep an eye on the Spanish announce table though; he might use
that as a foreign weapon.
Edgebrook: Malice slides outside the ring while holding on
to Slaughter's leg. He drags Slaughter over to the corner post.
Timmons: This is when things start
to get exciting James.
Edgebrook: Malice draping each of his legs on either side
of the ring post, then proceeds to slam Ace's left knee into the ring post!
Timmons: Whoa! Do you think this
will help Ace Slaughter see things through the eyes of Malice now?
Edgebrook: What I do think is that
there should be two or three refs assigned to every match Malice is in, this is
ridiculous.
Timmons: But
exciting!
Edgebrook: Malice
rams the leg in again, and then picks both legs up, flipping himself up and
locking Slaughter in a Figure 4 around the ring post. Malice pulls
backward with all he has, letting his weight and gravity do intense damage to
Slaughter's knee.
Timmons:
Slaughter attempts to hammer away on whatever part of Malice that he can reach,
and manages to get some kind of ankle hold applied, but Malice rocks back and
applies more pressure.
(Slaughter screams in agony, and at the same moment, Malice screams in effort, rocking back even further, threatening to snap Slaughters legs in half!!!)
EDGEBROOK: How can Ace handle such pain? He�s got a World Tag Team Championship match to think about.
TIMMONS: No one knows what they�ll get when they step into the ring with Malice except one thing� Pain.
Edgebrook: Malice notices the ref is starting to get
up, so he breaks the hold and rolls into the ring.
Timmons: Malice with a cover...
ONE�
TWO�
THR� Kick out by Ace! NO!
EDGEBROOK: Slaughter somehow kicked out! Malice looks incredulous.
TIMMONS: Still using the vocabulary tapes I gave you there Jimmy?
EDGEBROOK: Slaughter is hobbling around here like a cripple. Malice attacking with a chop block to the back of the knee. The malicious one now getting Slaughter back to his feet� Side Russian Leg Sweep sending Ace to the mat. Malice is going to take out the other half of the challengers for the Tag Team Titles before the Clash of the Champions even starts.
TIMMONS: That�s why he was the Boss. He dominated in the ring and in the locker room.
EDGEBROOK: Malice locking in that ankle lock again. No way Ace can withstand this type of torture twice in one night. The referee is checking with Ace�
(DING! DING! DING!)
TIMMONS: And that is why Malice is still the boss. Jimmy, it�s been good to be back here and show these suffering audiences what a real announce team can do�
Ring Announcer: The winner of the match, by submission, Malice!
And your winner...COMMERCIAL
EDGEBROOK: And we�re back for the second hour of GLWA Primetime. Once again, Richard King joins me in the announce position.
KING: How did you stand working with that pompous pile of puss for so long?
EDGEBROOK: It was an acquired skill. You have to do that sometimes to get the paychecks. Our next match, for almost any other promotion would be the main event, and tonight it opens our second hour.
KING: That�s right. The GLWA Midwest title is on the line and we have two outstanding superstars in the ring tonight�
EDGEBROOK: First out is the challenger.
King: You mean the soon to be new Midwest Champion Jackson Dane!
EDGEBROOK : First he�s gotta keep focus and defeat the current champ
King: Oh I think he�s already gotten it in the bag, I mean he is the "Main Event"!
{{And as if on cue "I Stand Alone" by Godsmack hits and the jumbotron dims and flashes "Main Event" in red across it, the fans begin to give out some massive heat}}
EDGEBROOOK: Making their feelings well known tonight in Morgantown.......
{{Flash Dane hitting the "Spotlight" on Kid Ego through a table backstage}}
King: Ah the good old days!
{{Flash Dane making Joe Raper tap out in the "Fifteen minutes of fame"}}
EDGEBROOK: Listen to those boos folks!
{{The crowd rains down heat as Dane emerges from backstage, his black wrestling tights with the word "Main Event" across the butt in bright red, his wrestling boots laced tight, Dane makes his way toward the ring, he stops halfway and throws up his hands and the boos just rain down}}
"I�ve told you this once before
Can�t control me
If you try to take me down you�re gonna break
I feel your angry
Nothing that you�re doing for me
I think you are a failure all the way"
{{Dane makes his way into the ring and as he stands in the center the fans give massive heat, his spiked hair and chiseled body glisten in the light}}
"I stand alone!
Inside I Stand alone
Stand alone!"
{{The music cuts and Dane stands across the ring, eyeing up Brannon}}
King: GO JACKSON!!
Taylor: And his opponent!
[The unmistakable chords of "United States of Whatever" by
Liam Lynch begin to play and the fans come to their feet.]
Taylor: From Columbus, Ohio!
[A blue spotlight focuses on the
entryway as the fans' noise builds.]
Taylor: Tipping the scales tonight at 184Lbs. the GLWA
Mid-West Champion. Joey Brannon!!!
[As ring announcer Lana Taylor calls his name Joey bursts
through the curtains and out into the arena tonight in West Virginia. Joey looks
like some version of Captain America with his full-length blue tights with the
red and white stars up each leg. As usual he's wearing a white Columbus Blue
Jackets jersey.]
Edgebrook: And
Jackson Dane's opponent for tonight is the Mid-West Champ in Joey Brannon. What
do you make of this one?
King:
Dane has the size and experience advantage on Brannon. I think Joey had better
be on the top of his game tonight if he wants to defend that title more than
once.
(Brannon slides into the
ring under the bottom rope and climbs the nearest turnbuckle where he raises his
GLWA Mid-West Championship to the fans. He hops down and hands the belt and
hockey jersey out to a ring attendant.)
EDGEBROOK: And now it�s time for action
(DING! DING!)
KING: Two great wrestlers, but only one can be the Midwest Champ
EDGEBROOK: Both men trying to gauge the other tonight. Dane still with his knee wrapped tightly. Collar and elbow tie up in the middle of the ring. The Midwest Champion forcing his challenger into the corner. Hard knife-edge chops from Joey keeping Jackson off balance.
KING: This probably wasn�t in the game plan of the Main Event when he came out tonight.
EDGEBROOK: Snap suplex send the former Main Even Champion back into the center of the ring. Joey seems like he�s got it all together tonight.
KING: But you know it�s just too early to count out Jackson Dane. Hard right to the midsection as Brannon comes in.
EDGEBROOK: Dane back to his feet and back to the attack. Irish whip by Dane reversed by Joey. Drop toehold on that injured leg. Look at Jackson grimace in pain. That knee can�t be 100%.
KING: I�ll still take Jackson Dane at 80% over most of the roster at 100%.
EDGEBROOK: But does that include our Midwest Champion? Brannon dragging Dane over to the ropes, attacking that knee.
(Joey takes the injured leg of Jackson and drives the knee into the mat, bringing a cry of pain from the "Main Event")
EDGEBROOK: Veteran maneuver by Brannon as he focuses on that leg. Now pulling Jackson to his feet, Brannon still has that injured appendage�
KING: Timmons was right, you have been using that vocabulary tape
EDGEBROOK: Dragon screw leg whip on the left leg on Jackson Dane. Cover�
ONE�
TWO�
Kick out by Dane.
KING: Even in that type of pain, he had the ring sense to get his shoulder up.
EDGEBROOK: Both men to their feet, Brannon to the ropes� Dropkick to that injured knee of Dane. Joey is going to keep working on that knee until it finally give out.
KING: That must be how the smaller man Brannon hopes he can keep with the monster like Dane. He�s giving up almost 70 pounds.
EDGEBROOK: Figure four now locked in by Brannon. More pressure being applied to that knee. I�m not sure how Jackson can handle this.
KING: All he can hope to do is turn it and reverse the pressure�
(The referee keeps asking Jackson if he wants to quit, but gets no answer. The Main Event finally turns the pressure on Joey)
EDGEBROOK: Nice reversal by Dane. Brannon finally releases the hold, but you have to think that the damage is done. Jackson Dane is still down on the mat.
KING: As much as I hate to say this, this is Brannon�s opportunity.
EDGEBROOK: Joey�s headed up to the top rope. SKY HIGH!
KING: DANE MOVED! JACKSON DANE ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!
EDGEBROOK: And Brannon looks hurt. The impact of that Senton Bomb shooting pain up and down the spine.
King: This is now the chance for Jackson. He�s picking up Brannon like a rag doll.
EDGEBROOK: Dane with the rear waist lock now applied� Atomic Drop� More shooting pain up the spinal column. Dane now with forearms to the back. Hard shots working on the Midwest Champion.
KING: Now this had to have been a part of the game plan for Jackson.
EDGEBROOK: Dane now locking in an inverted DDT. The Champion�s head is driven into the mat� Cover�
ONE�
TWO�
Thr� Brannon some how gets a foot to the ropes.
KING: Jackson Dane looks like he�s back to his old form once again. Hard attacking, and hard partying�
EDGEBROOK: Little time to celebrate tonight. Hard kicks to the midsection by Dane. Now he�s getting the Champion to his feet.
KING: Looks like it�s time to "Hit the Spotlight"
EDGEBROOK: Brannon reverses it! Hurricannrana! Cover�
ONE�
TWO�
Kick out by Dane!
KING: That just made him mad. I think I�m glad that I�m not Joey Brannon right now.
EDGEBROOK: Brannon trying to lock in for a suplex, countered by the bigger man. Vertical Suplex by Dane driving Joy into the mat again. More work on the neck and back by the Main Event.
KING: You said it earlier, but this would be a main event anywhere else in wrestling, but here in the GLWA, it�s just the beginning.
EDGEBROOK: Modified Camel Clutch by Dane now, torturing the upper back and neck. Jackson now pulling Joey up in this position. Inverted suplex! New and dangerous move from the Main Event tonight. Torqueing the back and driving it home.
KING: It�s just this simple: Jackson Dane has taken away the quickness of Joey Brannon.
EDGEBROOK: Cover again by Dane�.
ONE�
TWO�
KING: We�ve got a new champion!
EDGEBROOK: THR�. KICKOUT BY BRANNON
KING: WHAT!
EDGEBROOK: Dane is just beside himself. Cover again�
ONE�.
TWO�
Another kick out by Brannon!
KING: Someone tell that ref to get a move on. We have more of a show to call.
EDGEBROOK: Dane is getting frustrated. He�s dragging Joey up now and fires him into the ropes. Spine buster Slam by Dane on the now battered Midwest Champion. Cover�
ONE�
TWO�
THREE�
(A massive pop comes from the audience as Jackson hops up and raises his hands)
EDGEBROOK: Brannon kicked out! He did it again!
(Dane looks back at the referee in shock at hearing the two yelled to the timekeeper)
KING: How the heck can he do that?
EDGEBROOK: That�s why he�s the Midwest Champion.
King: I thought Joey was the Midwest Champion because Robert Letner wanted to screw Dmitre Wehrman out of a title.
EDGEBROOK: That too, but determination got him this far as well. Joey trying to claw his way back into this match. Brannon sends himself against the ropes. Jackson catches a flying cross body block from Joey� Fall away slam� Cover�
ONE�
TWO�
THR�
(Another massive pop from the Morgantown crowd)
KING: HOW! How did he do that again?
EDGEBROOK: Brannon got a foot on the ropes again. And it looks like Dane has just had it.
(Jackson starts laying the boots to Joey, who is still tied up in the ropes. The official tries to step in and is violently shoved aside, all the way to the outside by the Main Event)
EDGEBROOK: That should be an automatic disqualification for Dane�
KING: But we have no official to call for the bell�.
EDGEBROOK: Jackson Dane now taking the coward�s way out; he�s going outside for a chair.
(Jackson reaches into the first row of the audience and pulls out a steel-folding chair. He then climbs back into the ring. He focuses on the now vertical, but groggy Brannon)
WHACK! (BOOO!)
EDGEBROOK: Vicious chair shot from the Main Event. It looks like he picked up that from his days with Team NWA.
KING: He was doing that long before those days.
WHACK! (BOOO!)
EDGEBROOK: Another shot by that chair across the back sends Joey into the corner. Jackson wedging that chair in to keep Joey stuck in that corner�
KING: Dane looks like he�s going for a Spear!
EDGEBROOK: Where is the official? How can this go on is a title match?
CRUNCH! (Huge POP!)
EDGEBROOK: Joey ducked out! The Champion ducked out!
KING: And Dane hit that chair square in the shoulder. Oh NO!
EDGEBROOK: Dane rolling himself out of the corner, but Joey now has the chair. Jackson up to his feet� Joey tosses him the chair�
WHACK! (HUGE POP!!!)
(DING! DING! DING!)
EDGEBROOK: What the hell? NO! It can�t be. Joey Brannon just knocked The Main Event Jackson Dane into next week with that Superkick and we hear this�
KING: But it is� It so is!
Taylor: The winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification, The Main Event, Jackson Dane!
{Scene cuts to the back where we see a handful of wrestlers. Standing in front of them, is President Letner}
LETNER: Hello gentlemen, I would like to thank you for coming.
{The wrestlers are Rob Torborg, Sensational Steve, Susanoh, Ben Mauler, Brad Striker, Jordan Banks & Justin Rawlings}
LETNER: First off I would like to also welcome both Ben
Mauler & Justin Rawlings to the Great Lakes Wrestling Alliance. This
is both men's first show...and they will possible wrestle next week at 'Make It
Or Break It' Night.
{Justin and
Ben shake hands with everyone else}
LETNER: I called you guys here for this miniture meating, because Love Hurts is just around the corner. All of you guys are basically new to the GLWA...with Ben and Justin being brand new.
{Letner clears his throat}
LETNER: So in keeping some of BJWC's Love Hurts tradition...last year Love Hurts had a Hardcore Battle Royal. This year...we will have the same thing. All seven of you guys will be in a Hardcore Battle Royal.
{Chatter between the guys can be heard as they talk to each other about it}
LETNER: Whomever wins, will get a shot at the Brutality Champ at the following Primetime. Sound good?
{The group responds with a couple "hell yeah", and "sure"}
LETNER: Good. Then gentlemen, welcome to the
GLWA. I think you're going to like it here. Meetings over.
{Letner smirks as he turns and
walks away. Camera's cut back to the ring}
KING:
Between who?
EDGEBROOK: Number
one...besides the Letner versus Roadkill match and the Hardcore Battle Royal; he
signed a Dmetri Wehrman versus Jason Stallion...GLWA Heavyweight Title
Match.
KING: Nice.
EDGEBROOK: He also signed a GLWA Brutality Title Match, Nightmare versus Eric Bruce. I believe it is a First Blood Match.
KING:
Who?
EDGEBROOK: Bruce is that guy that attacked
Nightmare.
KING: Oh.
EDGEBROOK: Letner also siged a GLWA MidWest Title Match
between Joey Brannon and Ace Slaughter.
KING: Any more?
EDGEBROOK: There are a few more actually. It seems as
if Letner is going to pull off of AW heat and pit Jake Cage against Yoshima
Kawazughi.
KING:
Should be interesting.
EDGEBROOK: Also there is a Number One Contendor Match
between Jackson Dane and Kid Ego.
KING: Worthless versus worthless. Maybe that's the opener.
EDGEBROOK: There is one last one here...but I can't read what the match is. The only thing I can see is Malice's name. The type of match and opponent have been blacked out.
KING: Curious...very curious.
EDGEBROOK: Oh well. Anyway...our next match is about
to begin.
Non-Title Arm Wrestling Match (The
opening chords of Seven Nation Army strike and Dmitre Wehrman comes through the
curtain) Edgebrook: It's amazing that the champion is coming
out here in such a condition. How can he hope to win an arm
wrestling match with a busted up arm? King: I'm not sure, but this looks like only
Team NWA will get to add insult to injury tonight to the champ! EDGEBROOK:
Both men lock up their left hands as the ref puts his hands on theirs. KING: This
is boring. EDGEBROOK:
Well Jason is starting to push Dmetri's arm down. Dmetri looks like he is
in pain. KING: Well come on now...Dmetri is a wimp. King: But Stallion almost has him broken. (Dmitre's arm starts to slowly go down, but suddenly
stops) Edgebrook: Look at the face of Stallion! How is he doing
this? King: What! How is this possible? Dmitre: OH Jason! I forgot to tell you... I'm LEFT HANDED
YOU F**KER! (Dmitre slams the stunned Stallion's arm to the pad and
cold cocks him with his right) EDGEBROOK: He was faking! Dmitre Wherman was
faking all night long! {Dmetri
throws off the sling and begins to pound on Stallion} KING: OH MY
GOD!!! SOMEONE HELP JASON...SOMEONE HELP HIM. EDGEBROOK:
Dmetri pulls Jason to his feet, whips him into the ropes...kick to the
gut. Dmetri grabs Jason...picks him up...AND POWERBOMBS HIM THROUGH THE
ARM WRESTLING TABLE. OH MY GOD!!! DID YOU SEE THAT??? KING: HOLY SHIT!!! And your winner...
Dmetri Wehrman vs. Jason
Stallion
{Cameras show the inside of the ring where there are two
chairs, an arm-wrestling table and a ref}
LANA: The following match is a
non-title arm wrestling match! Entering the ring first, now residing in
Bountiful, Utah...weighing in at 241 pounds, he is a member of Team NWA, and the
World Television champion, Jason
Stallion.
[Jason steps through the curtain
wearing a Team NWA shirt and a cross pendant. He drops to his knees and spreads
his arms wide to his people, with a sly smile.]
KING: That's what I like about Team NWA, they're all
winners. When's the last time you've seen a twenty-one year old wearing a
world-class championship.
EDGEBROOK: With a world-class ego to match.
KING: Ego? Didn't he wrestle
earlier tonight?
EDGEBROOK: No,
what i mean was...ah forget it!
[Jason leans himself against the ropes and gives his cross
pendant to Jade as he staresdown Dmetri on the other side of the arm-wrestling
table.]
KING: Dmetri puts up
his left arm as Jason is smirking. Jason is going to use his other arm and
decimate this guy.
{The ref lets go as both men
struggle to slam the other's hand down}
Edgebrook: I can't believe the
fortitude shown by the Heavyweight Champion.
{Dmetri kicks Jason one last time and leaves the
ring}
Dmetri Wehrman
VOTES: Dmetri Wehrman (3) - Jason
Stallion (1)
COMMERCIAL
Lumberjack
Match
Roadkill vs. Jake
Cage
EDGEBROOK: Main event time! Letner is trotting out Jake Cage, apparently the new muscle of Team NWA to beat up on the returning legend that is Roadkill
KING: I bet Cage turns Roadkill into�..well���Roadkill I guess
EDGEBROOK: Smooth
KING: Eat me
LANA: Now entering,weighing in at 255 pounds. From Dieppe,
New Brunswick, Canada, a member of Team NWA and the National Wrestling Alliance
North American champion! Jake 'Hardcore' Caaaage!
[The arena lights dim to feature the new Team NWA logo, and
Jake Cage enters flanked as usual by tommy L. He carries a Canadian flag to
annoy the crowd as he cockily hams it up as the boos rain down.]
EDGEBROOK: Jake Cage, always
making a statement. Was it really necessary to bring the Canadian flag to the
ring with him.
KING: A guy that
holds TWO Alliance titles could carry the Nazi flag with him for all I care. He
can back it up, and that's all that matters.
EDGEBROOK: Politically incorrect as always, aren't
you?
{The lights go out in the arena. A murmur of
excitement floods the crowd}
RESIDING IN MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA... WEIGHING IN AT TWO
HUNDRED AND FIFTY-TWO POUNDS...
{A low thunder echoes throughout the arena}
ROADKILL!!!
{The crowd erupts as the thunder
morphs in the opening drum beats of "The Beautiful People, the RK Remix".
White spotlights flash like lightning in harmony with the drums. And
out steps ROADKILL to a frenzied ovation!!!}
# And I don't want you and I don't need you
# Don't bother to resist or I'll beat you
# It's not your fault that you're always wrong
# The weak ones are there to justify the strong!
{Roadkill walks down the aisle
staring emotionlessly into the crowd. He wears black boots, black
wrestling trunks, and a white leather jacket with "RK" stitched in black on
the back. His head cleanly shaven. A goatee on his chiseled
face. And a look in his cold green eyes that could kill!}
# The beautiful people, the
beautiful people
# It's all relative to the size of your
steeple
# Capitalism has made it this way,
# Old-fashioned fascism will take it away!
{Roadkill reaches the ring and
quickly rolls in underneath the bottom rope.}
# There's no time to discriminate,
# Hate every motherfucker that's in your way
{He storms to the opposite corner,
steps up on the second rope, and raises his clenched fists into the air with
authority! The intense crowd welcomes The 'Killer with applause and camera
flashes}
# HEY! YOU! WHAT DO
YOU SEE?
# SOMETHIN' BEAUTIFUL, SOMETHIN' FREE?
# HEY! YOU! ARE YOU TRYIN' TO BE MEAN?
# IF YOU CROSS MY PATH MAN, YOU'RE GONNA GET BEAT!!
{The music fades}
EDGEBROOK: Bring on the lumberjacks!!
KING: If I see any blue ox�s, I swear to God I�ll quit on the spot
(Lead by Kid Ego, the GLWA roster, Jackson Dane and Robert Letner withstanding, come out of the locker room and surround the ring. Roadkill looks on with a watchful eye, and Cage captlizes, landing a right hand to the kidney of Roadkill)
EDGEBROOK: Doesn�t take a big opening for Cage to get in a cheap shot does it?
KING: How big of an opening are you talking? Like the opening the size of some of the girls you�ve dated? Cause I don�t think Hardcore will ever see an opening that big
EDGEBROOK: You are scum you know that?
(Cage spins around Roadkill, still clutching his back, and drops him with a DDT, which he quickly follows up with a fist drop)
EDGEBROOK: Cage is clearly not here to mess around, and with Ace Slaughter and Jason Stallion standing as lumberjacks, you have to like his chances
KING: I liked his chances when the night began baby
(Not letting up, Cage brings Roadkill to his feet, before sending him into the ropes with an Irish whip, connecting with a powerslam and the first cover of the match)
EDGEBROOK: COVER!!
1
Kickout!!
EDGEBROOK: Roadkill kicks out with AUTHORITY!!
KING: He don�t look to pleased either
(Cage sees the look on Roadkill�s face and begins to high tail it out of the ring. However, he looks down and sees the faces of Diesel Warren and Dmitre Wehrman and slowly turns back towards the ring. And directly into a right hand of Roadkill)
EDGEBROOK: No where for Jake Cage to go, but he must be wondering if the lumberjacks might be more forgiving than the right hand he just ate, thanks to Roadkill
KING: I�ll take Lumberjacks for one hundred James
(RK connects with another right, sending Jake reeling backwards before connecting with a clothesline, sending Cage backwards, leaning on the ropes for support. Roadkill charges, going for another clothesline, but Jake counters, sending RK over the top rope with a back body drop, �luckily� the bodies of Eric Bruce and Sensational Steve)
EDGEBROOK: We shall see how the Lumberjacks react to their first action
(Like bees to honey, Ace Slaughter and Stallion swarm to Roadkill, laying into him with punches and kicks. Cage begins to head that way as well, but thinks better of it. Instead, he leans against the turnbuckles, a big smile on his face)
KING: Such a smart man that Cage, let the minions do his work for him
EDGEBROOK: How smart does he need to be? Either go fight more people, or chill, even someone like you could figure that out
KING: Ummmm�..I know you are but what am I?
EDGEBROOK: Gee, touch�
(After a few moments, Kid Ego, Dmitre and Joey Brannon make their way over, coming to blows with Ace and Stallion. This gives Roadkill a chance to slide back in the ring)
EDGEBROOK: It�s only a matter of time until the powder kegs that are the lumberjacks explode, I wouldn�t want to be near the discharge
KING: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
EDGEBROOK: What?
(Jake quickly pounces, meeting RK with kicks to the lower back. He brings �Killer to his feet, only to drill him with a swinging neck breaker. His brother Jason gives him the thumbs up)
EDGEBROOK: Well isn�t that special
KING: You�re just pissed no one likes you
(Hardcore quickly drops a leg across the throat of Roadkill, before pulling RK to his feet and sending him back to the mat with a snap suplex)
EDGEBROOK: Roadkill is going to have to get some offense going if he plans on winning this match
KING: He should just lay down and let Cage cover him, save the embarrassment
(Cage stalks over towards RK again, but �Killer counters with a low blow)
EDGEBROOK: That will curb the momentum in a hurry
(RK picks up Cage, going for a scoop slam. He thinks for a moment, walks over to the ropes and dumps Cage to the lumberjacks)
EDGEBROOK: Who needs offense when you have hungry lions to feed on the outside
(Diesel and Dmitre quickly make their way over to Cage and start peppering him with right and left hands as Brannon and Yoshima block off Stallion and Slaughter. RK doesn�t even bother to go out there, just grinning as Cage gets pummled)
EDGEBROOK: Turn about is fair play I suppose
(Finally the other members of Team NWA break through, with Slaughter dropping Ego with a clothesline and Dmitre fighting with Stallion, Cage slides back into the ring. In the process, he accidently kicks Eric Bruce into Brannon. Joey than pushes Toborg and before you know it, ALL the lumberjacks are fighting on the outside of the ring)
EDGEBROOK: Well, it was bound to happen, everyone is fighting everyone
KING: Like an Edgebrook family reunion fighting over their cousins
EDGEBROOK: I hate you
(RK doesn�t even late Cage get back into the ring before laying the boots to him, then dropping a knee across the lower back. �Killer locks in a single boston crab, leaning back to get some extra wrenching on Hardcore�s back)
EDGEBROOK: That can�t be too good on the back of Cage, has to hurt like hell
KING: Kinda hurts like�.
EDGEBROOK: I swear on everything holy if you make one more joke about my mother I�m going to personally castrate you with a rusty butter knife. Now please, tell me what it must hurt like
KING: Yep, I think it must hurt like hell
(As Jake is stretching to get to the ropes, Ace Slaughter grabs the foot of the ref, taking his attention away from the match. Just that moment, Stallion climbs in the ring, sprints and drills Roadkill in the face with a boot to the face, breaking the hold, then sliding out of the ring as quickly as he came)
EDGEBROOK: Even in a lumberjack match Team NWA is cheating to their full advantage
KING: Can I say something or are you going to threaten me with other kitchen utensils?
EDGEBROOK: Well, I guess that will depend on what you say
KING: Hmmmm�.wow look at Cage take the advantage
EDGEBROOK: Good call
(Indeed, Jake Cage is in full control, lining up Roadkill as he struggles to his feet. RK is on all fours, Jake takes a step back, runs and kicks �Killer directly in his face, sending the BJWC legend to the mat in a heap)
EDGEBROOK: Good grief what a kick!
KING: It�s up�..AND IT IS GOOD!!!
(The NWA North American champ pulls RK to his feet, then gets him in a standing firemen�s carry, spins for a moment or two before dropping Roadkill to the mat with a jarring DVD)
EDGEBROOK: What impact! RK�s head bounced off the mat like a basketball
KING: It�s up�AND IT IS GOOD!!!
EDGEBROOK: You are borderline retarded
(Jake goes to drag RK to his feet, but with a sudden, and unexpected burst, �Killer jumps to his feet, lifts Cage a bit and drops him throat first across the top rope. RK quickly falls back to the mat, exhausted as Cage leans against the turnbuckles clutching his throat)
EDGEBROOK: Pure desperation by the former BJWC champion, both men almost out of this match
KING: This is where Paul Bunyan should swoop in and clean house
EDGEBROOK: Both men struggling to get back to their feet
Edgebrook: Cage
with a quick kneelift gives him the sudden advantage. And with that he
propels Roadkill through the ropes causing to come crashing down onto the
concrete.
King: This is when
Roadkill gets initiated into the GLWA.
Edgebrook: Jason Stallion starts going to work on Roadkill
stomping him into the concrete.
King: HaHa, Roadkill doesn't have any allies to protect him
here.
Edgebrook: Stallion is
suddenly attacked from behind. It's MALICE!
King: What the hell?
Edgebrook: Malice with a reverse scorpion drop on the
concrete to the unsuspecting Stallion.
King: What is Malice thinking? Is he trying to make
an enemy of everyone?
Edgebrook: With Stallion down, Malice stands guard over
Roadkill fending off the rest of the would be attackers while Roadkill recovers
enough to get in the ring on his own power.
King: I'm so disappointed in Malice. Roadkill is
learning his lesson this week, and soon it will be Malice's turn. Won't
these guys ever learn that you don't cross the boss.
EDGEBROOK: Roadkill back in the ring, oddly enough Cage didn�t attack him this time
KING: Here he comes!
(Jake sprints at �Killer, but RK catches him, throwing him high in the air with a flapjack, watching Cage land face first on the mat. Roadkill doesn�t let up, bringing Cage to his feet and hitting a stuff piledriver)
EDGEBROOK: Now it is Cage�s head banging off the mat as RK is really feeding off the crowd, gaining momentum
KING: He�ll blow it faster than you�.
EDGEBROOK: My who you dirty son of a bitch? HUH?? MY WHO!?!?!
KING:
errrr�.look at Roadkill go!
{Suddenly out from the back, comes Jackson Dane. He
is dressed in army fatigues and has a water pistol in the shape of an
M16}
{He runs down to the ring and begins firing the M16, clearing Cage and Roadkill out of the ring, to their respective friends' side. He is then handed a microphone
Dane: Hey Raven, remember your little war on Acadia?
{{Heat for Dane}}
Dane: Well guess what......I�m here on behalf of Acadia! And its time you know this! I�m declaring War on you!
{{Mixture of heat and a little bit of a pop for Dane, when 'Anxiety hits the speakers and out walks President Letner}
LETNER: Who the hell do you think you are, screwing with my main event?
DANE: I AM the Main Event.
LETNER: Not right now at least...boys...get him.
{Stallion and Slaughter jump into the ring and pull Dane to the outside. Dane manages to fight both men off and jump into the stands, shooting the crowd with his Water-M16}
EDGEBROOK: Well Cage and Roadkill are back in the ring.
KING: Cage goes after Roadkill...Roadkill kicks him in the gut. NOOOO!!!
EDGEBROOK: ROADKILLER!!! ROADKILLER ON JAKE CAGE!!!
{Letner begins to laugh as Roadkill looks up at him}
LETNER: Hey Roadkill. It's nice and all for you to maybe actually win in my GLWA. I may have let you go...since we are signing that contract at next Primetime. But you see...it wasn't me who wanted the hit this time...it was my brother.
KING: Brother?
LETNER: Roadkill...I want to introduce you to a man you know from a long time ago. Sorry about your luck.
EDGEBROOK: Roadkill is confused. Wait...now who's coming out of the crowd....OH MY GOD!!!
{A man comes out of the crowd, runs through the lumberjacks and then slides into the ring}
KING: ITS TRIPLE SIX TREK!!!
{Trek turns Roadkill around}
EDGEBROOK: ROADKILLER ON ROADKILL!!! Trek pulls Cage over Roadkill and then...gives a thumbs up to Letner?
KING: Here comes Slaughter and Stallion.
EDGEBROOK: HERE COMES THE ENTIRE GLWA!!!
{Everyone slides into the ring and begins to hog wild on each other}
EDGEBROOK: The ref is calling for the bell, he's lost control of the match!!!
And your winner...
No One - DOUBLE DQ
VOTES: Roadkill (2) - Jake
Cage (2)
EDGEBROOK: I can't believe it.
KING: Thats all the time we have folks.
EDGEBROOK: We'll see you at the next GLWA Primetime...in Columbus, Ohio.
{The camera's shows everyone going at it in the ring. Even Dane has found his way back into the ring, shooting people with the water pistol. The camera's fade out to the GLWA logo}