1.) How willing are you to try something crazy and stupid? I'll try anything.... Who said anything about me being stupid? Maybe, depends on what it is. I don't like risks. I am completely willing to do your bidding master!
2.) How many times have you done something on a dare? More than 4 times. Dares are evil, and I don't wish to participate in them. I haven't been dared at all, so never. Once or twice. I can't give you a number, there've been so many times...
3.) How many voices, and (your conscience doesn't count) are in your head right now? There isn't even a conscience there. I can't count them. None. One. A few.
4.) How many times have you run naked in public? People actually DO that?? 1-2 0 2-6 Upwards of 7.
5.) How many hours per day do you spend online? 1-2 0 3-4 5-6 7+
6.) How often do you find yourself believing an internet ad? Rarely. Sometimes. Always. Often. Never.
7.) What do you wear on a cold winter day? Winter clothes. Whatever you had on yesterday. Fall clothes. A blanket. A welcome mat.
8.) A dude approaches you with a gun. What do you do? Do what he says. Drop to your knees sobbing and beg him to have mercy on you because you have twelve small children at home. Taunt him and try to take it from him. Calmly walk away. Tell him you have connections to the mob and promise to kill him.
9.) When a cop turns his lights on you, what do you do? Pull over immediately, apologize profusely, and offer to pay a double fine. Run like hell to the nearest border. Calmly pull over. Try to escape a ticket. Shoot at him, then run like hell to the nearest border.
10.) As a kid, how many of the following activities did you engage in? Getting dropped on your head. Drinking. Smoking. Using illegal drugs. Unprotected sex with strangers. People actually DO those things??? One or two, once or twice. None. Several of them. All of them.
11.) Are you currently on any illegal drugs? Yes. I've never even seen an illegal drug. Definitely not. No, not regularly anyway. I'm on every illegal, legal, and controlled subtance they have a name for.
12.) What time is a good time to go to sleep? Very soon after the sun goes down. Before the sun goes down. Late, after I've accomplished all my work for the day. Whenever I get sleepy. Never.
13.) If/When do you go clubbing? Never. Clubbing is evil. 3-4 times a week. Every night. Go clubbing? Who said anything about leaving in the first place? Only on Fridays and Saturdays.
14.) On your first date, what is no less than acceptable for your good bye? Nothing. A handshake. A hug. A kiss. Nothing short of sex!
15.) Do you think you are crazy? Yes. If I was, I don't think I would know. On the other hand, other people tell me I'm solid as a rock. No. Sometimes. No! I'm NOT crazy! Stop saying that! Make the voices stop saying that!
16.) Do you have a plot to assassinate the president of Yugomaniaslovikia? There is no such place, but if there is I don't I swear! That country doesn't exist. That country doesn't have a president, it has a chancellor. Where the hell is that? No, I am the president of Yugomaniaslovikia.
17.) When playing Spades, the two of spades is a(n) ____? A card. I don't play Spades. Cards are evil. Baby joker. Anything it wants to be. A little monkey thats my baby.
18.) Do you have superpowers? No, I'm a very normal person. Yes, I am superman. Higher than average talents perhaps, but not superpowers. I wish I did. Superpowers? Psh. I am God.
19.) What is the most exotic/spiciest thing you have ever eaten? A vegetable. I never eat anything but vegetables. A pizza. Chinese food. A raw Habenero pepper. A squirrel I killed myself and fried in my own sweat.
20.) How many collections do you have? 0 6-10 1-3 3-5 11+
21.) Where do you live? In my house, which is on the Earth, that the good God has created for me. Right here. You got a problem with that? Earth. On Mars. A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...
22.) Do you have any mental diseases already? Of course not! Are you insinuating something? 0 2 1 3+
23.) My name is ____ Whatever name your parents gave you. G. Funk Slim Shady Glucose Addict Mr. Badkjlfiuewndjkl
24.) How loud do you play your music? Only so I may here it Not loud enough to disturb anyone near me Loud enough so even the dead can hear it Not loud enough to ruin my beautiful God given ears Loud enough so everyone in a three mile radius can hear it
This test was.... A horrible thing of the devil. Interesting...very interesting. The most awesome thing I have ever seen! Stupid. A perfect description of myself.
