Inventress Martha Keplink has turned biology and psychology on its head with her revolutionary invention she aptly trademarked as the Glittering Thief(tm). The Glittering Thief(tm) allows you to peer into the consciousness of any egg or plant you choose.
"Impossible!" you say? "You're a crackpot purveyor of pseudoscience" I hear you scream? Nonsense!
In the image on the left you can very clearly see the Glimmering Thief(tm) in action. In this experiment, the egg is communicating with the observer through the LCD screen of the Glittering Thief(tm). 0.L indicates everything is "A OK" for our little egg friend.
How does the Glittering Thief(tm) accomplish this feat? Writes Martha(sm):
There is a little known field of electronicity that exists around each interpole of a power source, which in this case is the 9 Volt battery. Very few physicists will admit its existence for fear the global anti-free-energy conspiracy will collect and dispose of them. This power flows through air ions to the photodiode recepticators, to the right of the Glittering Thief(tm).
The diode telemetrically sends this to the adjustments knobs, and from there to the two terminals of the Glittering Thief(tm) composed of the extremely precious metal aluminitis. Upon receiving the electronic stimulus, the egg or plant will process the information in the space of approximately 215 milliseconds. It then sends its reply down the negative wire. The communication appears on the LCD screen of the Glittering Thief(tm).
There you have it! A water-tight explanation that satisfies any skeptics. Even a simpleton can plainly see how this device works. And speaking of water, the Glittering Thief(tm) is perfect for letting you know when your plants are thirsty. A special speaker attachment can be purchased for your Glittering Thief(tm) which will deliver an audible "beep" when your parched plant wants a drink. Why not buy a Glittering Thief(tm) for all your house and/or garden plants?
Order your Glittering Thief(tm) today while supplies last! Only $280.00 a piece!
Don't forget to stock up on Superduper Clips(tm), not to be confused with $2 alligator clips(no tm) you can purchase at Radio Shack. Limited Stock: $85 per pair
Remember, that's Glittering Thief(tm) by Martha Keplink(sm). Accept no substitutions, no matter what color their terminals are.
Copyright 1997-2006 Keplink(sm). All Rights Reserved.
Inventress Martha Keplink has turned biology and psychology on its head with her revolutionary invention she aptly trademarked as the Glittering Thief(tm). The Glittering Thief(tm) allows you to peer into the consciousness of any egg or plant you choose. 
There is a little known field of electronicity that exists around each interpole of a power source, which in this case is the 9 Volt battery. Very few physicists will admit its existence for fear the global anti-free-energy conspiracy will collect and dispose of them. This power flows through air ions to the photodiode recepticators, to the right of the Glittering Thief(tm). 
