He's dead Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.
I have the heart of a child... in a jar... on my desk. - Stephen King
How mad would a woodchuck get if a neon pink koala named Ishtar ran into the woods and chucked all the wood before the woodchuck could?
I absolutely believe in God. And I absolutely hate the Fucker. - Riddick, Pitch Black, played by Vin Deissel
I have a firm grip on reality. Now can I strangle it?
In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and was widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Hey! If you had been listening you would know that Nintendoes pass through everything. - Jack O'Neill, talking about neutrinos, "Crystal Skull," Stargate SG-1
All men are in the gutter. But some are looking up at the stars. -Oscar Wilde
Are you tired of all those sissy, mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship!
When you are sad... I will get you drunk (or gorge on chocolate) and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made
you sad.
When you are blue... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile... I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared or worried... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused... I will use little words to explain.
When you are sick... stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. - George S. Patton
A pack of cigs and pregnancy scare and this could be high school. - Karen, Will & Grace
Next time some eight foot tall, wild-eyed maniac taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall and asks you if you've paid your dues, well, you just do what ol' Jack Burton always does at a time like that. You stare that sucker right back in the eye. 'Have you paid your dues, Jack?' 'Yes sir, the check is in the mail.' - Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China
I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. - Walt Whitman
Sleep is for wimps. Happy, healthy, well-rested wimps, but wimps.
Only Irish Coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine
We don't believe there is much of a future to speak of. - Malcolm, Velvet Goldmine
Of course, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people. - Matthew Broderick, �Ferris,� Ferris Bueller�s Day Off
At V97 between songs, Brian started singing a really sweet version of 'Jesus Loves Me'. You know the song; it goes 'Jesus loves me this I know, cause the Bible tells me so'. Anyhow, he was singing it and someone threw a can of beer and it just missed him, he had to duck out of the way. He went back to the mic, pointed a very accusing finger and said 'Jesus does NOT love you, mother fucker!' ~Brian Molko