Disclaimer: don�t own characters but still playing Jack awoke to a familiar sensation, wholly fulfilling and oh what a way to start the day! Nora�s mouth moving across his chest, her fingers working their magic upon his skin as her hand slid into his own. Intimacy, that was what he�d missed out on. �You look awfully pleased with yourself.� She said and he suddenly realised the contact had ceased; she must be looking at him. He slowly opened his eyes to respond. �Just happy.� She was resting on an elbow looking down at him. �Good, no headache?� She asked resting a hand on his forehead. He shook his head. �You?� She smiled guiltily. �Just a little. Did I drink more than you?� She shifted so she was lying on her back again. �I think I revealed too much.� �Was one of those days.� �I guess so. It�s cold this morning.� She shivered pulling the covers up to her neck. �No central air here.� He twisted to look at her. �Missing your apartment yet?� �Yes. I�m not cut out for roughing it, never have been.� �Roughing it?� he exclaimed. �You call this rough? A tent out in the elements that�s what you need.� �No thank you, I never was much of a girl guide. Even as a child I hated to get dirty.� Jack laughed. �Always high class.� He took hold of her hand again. �We�ve lived different lives Nora.� �Don�t different lives, just different childhoods.� She emphasised squeezing his fingers. �Does that mean you aren�t coming home with me tomorrow?� �Don�t mention that, I hate to think it�s tomorrow you leave.� �So you aren�t?� He shrugged. �Don�t do that Jack, try and buy me off with a non-committal answer.� �I�m not, I don�t mean to. I just don�t know.� �And if you don�t know then who does? Honestly I�m getting bored with this!� She sat up dropping his hand as she did so. �Nora.� �No, it�s not fair anymore. We�re all insecure at times Jack, all question our reasons for doing what we do � hell I�m not happy with all I�ve got. I�m middle-aged before I wanted to be, I�m over weight, I�ve been a single woman for most of my adult life so believe me at the end of the day I have no fears about doing it again. I certainly don�t need you financially so doesn�t it occur to you that I�m here because I care.� She took a breath. �I care Jack, if you never go back to work I don�t mind that, retire now, take up gardening, write a book. But stop this self-destruction, stop hiding away from the rest of the world.� Resolutely he said. �And if I choose not to?� �Then what future can we possibly have? I�m not willing to hide away here with you. I need my work.� �I thought I did too, to lose faith in it�� �I don�t think you have, not really.� �I was questioned in connection with murder for gods sake Nora.� �Which you were innocent of, you�ve worked for the system for so long now Jack, why don�t you try believing in it for a while.� �I don�t wanna talk about this.� He got out of bed, hating himself for allowing the conversation to go that way but determined to stand his ground � whether that be right or wrong. * * Nora gave him a few minutes before following him into the lounge. He knelt by the fire fixing it up again. �Shall I make coffee?� �If you like.� He shrugged. �Alright.� �I just don�t get how you can stand in judgement of me.� �Judgement! Oh believe me that�s not what I�m doing, I�m trying to help you � if you can�t see that then I wonder why the hell I bothered coming down here at all. I was right when I told Serena you were a selfish son of a bitch.� �So leave me.� �No.� She folded her arms. �No?� �So you can feel sorry for yourself again, fifteen minutes ago you were telling me you were happy.� �I was.� �And it�s changed because I made you look at yourself, because I ask you to stop and face the problems instead of running away.� �I�ve faced my problems for years and I�ve still ended up here.� �This isn�t the Jack I know, the one I worked with for all those years, what happened to that spark � that grit?� �I got old.� �And that�s your answer � you got old?� He shrugged, turned away from her and slumped down onto the couch. She considered leaving, packing her bags there and then and driving back to the city and ending it. Let him deal with his own problems because she certainly didn�t need this anymore. But she didn�t. She sat down next to him and soothingly kissed his mouth. �I think we may have something worth working at Jack, I don�t want to let it slip away. But if you don�t feel the same then, that�s that We can�t keep second-guessing each other. I thought we were finally getting somewhere yesterday, all those things you told me.� �I never told anyone half that much before. Do you realise that?� �I thought as much.� �I didn�t mean to dump all this on you.� He raised his head and leant back stretching his arms above his head so she was finally able to take a good look at that weathered face. �That�s what relationships are supposed to be about, sharing, especially when it gets bad. But if you really want to stay here, to be alone.� �I don�t want that.� He took her hand and closed his eyes. �Why did this all start? That girl you found � why did you never tell me about her.� �Tell you what?� �That she was alive when you found her, that you felt the need to research her life, to find out who she was.� �I don�t know, I can�t explain that. At the time it seemed the right thing to do�� He looked up at her. �How did you know, was it Lennie?� �No, not him. Robert.� �Your friends in high places.� �You have to stop doing that � seeing everyone as being against you, he was concerned.� �They always are.� �I know and some are only there for the wrong reasons but not all Jack, that bitterness just drives people away.� �Why do you think all my relationships fail, I�m impressed you stuck it out so long, most would have left months ago.� �I told you why.� �Love?� �Yes, but more than that. You�re a good man, I�d hate to see you waste the rest of your life hiding out here.� �I thought you liked it?� She smiled. �I do, it�s a beautiful place, but it�s not for living in, not for you and I. It�s a place to come for a few days to get away from the stresses of the city.� �It could work, if we wanted it to.� �We�d bore of each other�s company after two months with no outside entertainment! I don�t have that many stories to tell. Besides do you really want that, and I mean honestly now not just because you want to stand your ground.� �I guess not, have missed my basketball. Despite the fact I�m getting too old to play.� �So volunteer to coach at weekends, don�t just tire of life, get out there and enjoy it again.� He laughed and folded his fingers with hers. �This wasn�t exactly how I�d planned the morning to go.� �Oh really?� That wonderful smile crept across her face, her eyes crinkling up and a head tilted to one side. �Mmm, I kinda thought that when we slept together last night, well that we�d be making love this morning.� �You did, you think I�m the kind of woman to engage is sexual relations with a man before marriage.� �Must have been dreaming it.� �I think so.� She kissed him again before leaning back against his chest. �I hate to fight with you. What time you leaving tomorrow?� �Early I guess, it�s a long drive. And I need to get myself ready for returning to work.� �Yeah.� He took a deep breath. �If I come back to the city, it doesn�t mean I�m going back to work.� �I can accept that, as I said Jack if you want to retire�� �They might not even have me.� Her head shot up. �I think they might find a small desk job for you.� �Thanks for the support.� �I need a few more days though, some things I want to do before� before I get back into the swing of things.� �Thank you � you�re not just doing this for me?� �For both of us.� �Jack�� She moved to hold him. He held a hand up. �No mushy stuff, let�s go have some breakfast.� �Just breakfast? Did that feature in your plan?� �Not until later.� �Then I�ll go along with that.� * * * When Jack woke it was still dark in the room, he could see a light through the gap in the door and hear Nora moving around in another room. Turning onto his back he reached for his watch on the bedside table. It had gone 6 in the morning already. He rested back against the pillows, folding his arms beneath his head and listened to the odd bang and curse emerge from the kitchen; Nora must be cooking, always a force to be reckoned with. Perhaps he�d go out and help in a few minutes, she�d only been here a week and yet it was long enough to convince him that he didn�t want to spend the rest of his life as a quietly reserved bachelor. Her scent was in the room, in the bed sheets and the pillows. The feel of her mouth on his skin remained; his body was tired but so very at ease. It was a feeling he wanted to keep, to remember and treasure even when his life was spiralling out of control. With some effort he got of bed and pulled a t-shirt on, as he stepped out into the hallway he noticed Nora�s bags packed and ready to go. She was leaving. It was decision time. With a heavier heart he went to the kitchen, creeping up behind her and tugging at the apron she was wearing. �Good morning.� �Morning, you want some coffee?� �Sure. Noticed you�re all packed.� �And ready to go. Can�t say I�m thrilled with the prospect of being on the road all day.� �At least you got proper directions this time.� He took his coffee and sat down. �Thanks to you.� She finished off washing the dishes and dried her hands. �Will you be ok, here alone?� He smiled and she shook her head mocking herself. �Sorry, silly question. Of course you will.� �And I�ll see you in a few days.� �Yep, just make sure it is only a few days this time, and not months.� �Thanks for visiting.� A brash comment and wry smile to hide his unease, as usual it was easier to appear overconfident than admit he was going to miss her. She ruffled his hair, it was no use trying to change him now, besides she�d become used to it. �I�ll go get dressed. Could you make me some Tea for the journey?� �Sure.� * * Almost four hours since Nora left and Jack hadn�t stopped for one minutes rest. He�d packed away most of his things then started on the items in the cottage that could be stored. Next time he visited he wanted to ensure it wouldn�t take him days to dry out the bed sheets. Next time he visited � that sounded like a plan. A vacation plan. He�d written a hasty letter almost as soon as he�d been alone, explaining things to Arthur and apologising for his abrupt behaviour and disappearing act. He wanted his job back; he wanted to be a lawyer again. He�d realised that fact the night before when he lay with Nora in his arms, thinking about how she was going back to work made him realise just how much he wanted that too. Something to concentrate on, something to fight for and believe in. Despite his plan to stay on a few more days and sort things out leisurely he�d lost the will. The way he figured it, the sooner he got back, the sooner he could start sorting his life out instead. He�d packed the bike up, secured the house and was ready to go. He took one last walk down the valley, the snow had almost melted and in its place patches of green were starting to appear. He almost wished he�d taken the drive back with Nora; it would have been nice to share the journey with her, conversations and observations along the road. In spite of all he�d done this past year, the mistakes he�d made and pain he�d caused she was still willing to stand by him. She didn�t ask for marriage or pledges of eternal togetherness, she kept her guard up and yet at the same time she let him into her life, let him share it. He�d never be a family man; he was too selfish � he could accept that and not feel guilty about it anymore, afterall there was nothing he could do to change it now. Whatever expectations his Father had placed upon him he had no control over that, he had only himself to answer to � and perhaps to some extent his daughter. It was time he sorted things out with her, or at least tried to, he was under no illusions � time was ticking by and he at least hoped that before he died his relationship with his child would be in better shape than his father�s was. He owed himself that much. He owed himself more than disappearing into nothingness. Home Review Stories |
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| T h e S u r f a c e part nine |
| by Ms. E |