Disclaimer: Don�t own characters, just muddle on through the plot� For lyrics to Send in the Clowns visit my Lyrics page. S e n d i n t h e C l o w n s P a r t N i n e Jack almost ran up the stairs to his apartment, with Nora slowly dragging behind. He wanted to check it was tidy when he got there, but he didn�t get much time to. He was picking up shirts and rolling them into a ball when Nora closed the door. �You don�t have to tidy for me.� �I don�t think you wanna sit on my laundry.� She smiled. �Maybe not.� She took off her coat and placed it on the back of a chair. �Shall I make coffee?� �No I will, you�re the guest.� �I�m hiding out, that hardly qualifies as a guest.� �I wonder what you�re hiding out from � the press, the telephone calls or your own guilt.� Nora rubbed her forehead. �All of the above, and who turned you into a psychiatrist?� �Just qualified.� She fell onto the couch. �Congratulations. Anything else you wanna diagnose about me?� �Hmm, you�re hardworking, dedicated, you care deeply about things, you�re passionate yet you hide it well, you�re lonely yet you won�t admit it.� �Ah but you knew those things because you actually �know� me not because you�re mind therapist.� Jack sat down on the coffee table facing her. �I don�t like to see you sad.� �What happened to you? You never used to be this open and caring.� �I always was, just never got the chance to show it.� �Because I never let you.� Jack shrugged. �Circumstances more than anything.� �Yeah and my damned self sufficiency.� �You still are self sufficient, you certainly don�t need my help.� �Just your house right.� �And maybe a glass of wine and something to eat.� �Are you going to cook? You always boasted about your skills as a chef.� �You want me to cook then I�ll cook.� �Why thank you, I�m flattered.� �Don�t be, you haven�t tasted it yet. I enjoyed our walk here.� �Me too, and the company.� That familiar spark in the room, all over again. Jack wanted to confess all then, get down on his knees and beg her to feel the same way about him that he felt about her. But instead he retreated to the kitchen to make dinner. * * * Nora lay flat on her stomach, her cheek pressed against the pillow and her hair dropping over her eyes. Jack brushed it back and knelt down next to her. She looked good, beautiful, even more so than when she was young. Something to do with the confidence she now had, the self-assured nature she carried that whatever happened to her she would survive. He wondered just how much had happened to her. What tribulations she�d faced, what hardships, what broken hearts she�d left and mistakes she�s made. A part of him wanted to know every single detail, every moment of her life that he�d not shared. The other part of him was filled with regret � for not having the guts to choose her back then and make it work - to make it last. He�d been too selfish and short sighted, because as much as he needed her she needed him the same and he simply wasn�t there. He covered her sleeping body then returned to his chair, his book and his brandy. * * * Nora wasn�t sure where she was when she woke; her legs ached from being cramped up and her neck from lying in an awkward position. But there was a familiar smell in the room, Jack, she was with Jack. She felt safe, she opened her eyes and looked across to where he�d been sitting, he was still there, still reading. �How long was I asleep?� She whispered. �Not long, a couple of hours.� He closed his book and looked up at her. �You okay?� �Hmm not very comfortable.� �I told you, you don�t have to sleep on the couch, you can have my bed.� �With you in it�� She smiled then realised she shouldn�t have said it because Jack didn�t laugh. �Sorry, bad joke.� �No, just not funny. Did you ever realise that you are one of the best memories of my entire life, and yet we never made love. That�s why it was so hard seeing you with Tom, some young jumped up kid doing what I�ve always wanted to.� �Ah so it�s a matter of pride.� �And regret.� He stood up and stretched his arms. �It�s late, you want the bed or not?� She sat up. �That depends.� �On?� �Jack, we�re not young anymore, and you�re not married and I�m not so naive and certainly not as scared of sex as I once was.� He put his book down. �I never thought you were scared of it, just that you had certain standards and I was below them.� She smiled and got up from the couch. �You could possibly be the most caring man I�ve ever known.� �But I wasn�t, I was selfish.� �Are you going to confess all now?� �Seems a perfect time, by lamplight when you�re half asleep and I�ve had a little to drink.� �Jack, everything doesn�t have to be explained all the time, sometimes things just happen. We lost each other and now we�re here together again. Now we can either go to bed together or I sleep on the couch.� �And in the morning?� �You can tell me about your regrets, and bring me coffee.� �And doughnuts.� �I�ve given them up.� �Why?� �Lost sight of the waistline.� �You look wonderful.� �Flatterer.� �I don�t believe in destiny Nora.� �Me neither.� She took his hand. �But somebody once told me that I shouldn�t give up on love. I never did.� * * * And so they made love as calmly and slowly as if it weren�t the first time, as if it didn�t matter and they had all the time in the world. Afterward they lay side by side, the right mix of touching and yet providing the distance required, no words spoken, no decision reached, a simple matter of easiness and comfort with the situation. His body was pressed against her back, breathing in the scent of her hair and rejoicing in the warmth of her body being along side his. He�d forgotten about the reasons she was here, and that it had taken them so many years to get to this point. All he felt was those old feelings fully resurfacing. They�d been present, always present just beneath the surface, but now he was right back there. In his old office, lying on his old couch with the woman he loved most in the world in his arms. She whispered his name and kissed his hand and he remembered the first time he had seen her all those years ago, the first time he�d heard her voice. P l e a s e r e v i e w S t o r i e s |