Disclaimer: Don�t own characters, just muddle on through the plot� For lyrics to Send in the Clowns visit my Lyrics page. S e n d i n t h e C l o w n s P a r t E l e v e n Perhaps it hadn�t been a good idea to walk in the rain after all, Nora surmised as she stood on the sidewalk trying to shield herself from the downfall. What had started as a drizzle had steadily developed so now she was drenched to the skin and torn between continuing on her way to Hogan Place and putting up with damp hair for the day or turning back home and changing. Not a great start to the day. She ventured out from under the cover of the building and hailed a cab. Funny how such a simple thing as a misinterpretation on the weather can send an entire day out of sync. Nora was but a half hour late arriving at her office but her mind was unbalanced by the incident and as a result her mood wasn�t at its best. She snapped at her P.A within the first few minutes of arriving, she hadn�t even taken her coat off when she was bombarded with questions concerning the rearrangement of her schedule. She sank into her chair with a heavy head and a lump in her throat � the emergence of which she couldn�t quite understand. It was mid-afternoon before she had chance to venture out of her office, and this was only for coffee. She passed Jack as she made her way to the machine; he was deep in conversation with Serena and didn�t even look up at her when she tried to smile at him. So this was how it was going to be, divided again. Only this time she knew it was her fault not his and she really had no idea what to do about it. * * * Jack waited patiently outside her office door, summoned like a naughty schoolboy, he mused to himself. To his surprise she actually opened the door and stood aside to let him in. �Does this mean I can enter?� He smiled as he swept past her. �Don�t start Jack.� She closed the door after him and folded her arms. �I�ve had this for three days now and I can�t�� She stopped and took a breath. �I won�t put up with it.� Jack sat down and stretched out his legs, adopting a seemingly relaxed pose. �Fine, then don�t.� �We need to have this conversation.� �And what exactly would that conversation be Nora? How you fucked me then left and never said a word to me about it.� �Please don�t talk like that.� �Like what?� �Making it sound so disgusting.� �Well isn�t it. You obviously think so or you wouldn�t have walked out.� She looked down at her feet. �I didn�t know what to do.� �Talk to me for a start. There I was falling asleep in your arms thinking everything was okay, all was going to work out.� �Oh for gods sake Jack you know life doesn�t work like that. We�re not in some fairy story, we�re not kids anymore. It was what it was, just sex. You told me yourself remember Jack, people have sex.� �Not us. Not like that.� �Why not? Because I�m far too boring and straight laced.� �No because I waited all these years � I thought you did too.� He stood up. �Where are you going?� �Home if I�m allowed. It�s getting late.� �We haven�t sorted anything out.� �What more is there to sort out? You don�t feel about me the way I feel about you. Plain and simple. I don�t think you ever did.� �Of course I did.� She whispered. �Jack these past few months have been hell, I don�t want to start this when I�m so mixed up.� �Then why sleep with me? You know how I feel about you, this pull you have on me. All my life searching for someone to measure up to you and never finding her.� �But I bet all those assistants who were only to happy to oblige.� She smiled and he nodded in return. �Not one of them made me feel the way you did.� She looked down at the floor again and Jack had the urge to hold her and hope everything would work out. �You can go if you want to.� �Why thank you boss.� �Jack please.� �Ok I�m sorry. I�m going.� �We�ll talk more tomorrow if you like.� �I don�t want to talk about it anymore.� �Alright.� He was close enough now for her to lean over and kiss him. But he reached past her and opened the door and she stepped back so nobody could see her face as she said. �I never found a replacement for you either.� * * * That night she hardly slept; she�d been alone for many years yet somehow along the way she�d gotten used to sleeping alone. But that night was different, empty and vacant. She couldn�t help but remember how she felt all those years ago to be with him; simply to be around him was vibrant. And as a result the deep thoughts were resurfacing. How could it be that two people could be so right for each other yet at the same time so wrong? As if every fibre of her being longed for him yet every inch of the universe was keeping them apart. Unable to stay yet unwilling to leave�where could they go from here? P l e a s e r e v i e w S t o r i e s |