| Disclaimer: I don�t own these characters, I don�t pretend to know all the ins and outs of Law & Order � I�ve just started watching it & I�m picking it up as I go. But the story & ideas are mine� please don�t sue! [email protected] I W a n t L o v e A Jack/Nora story by Rhonda* "I get so lonely, can�t let just anybody hold me. You are the one that lives in me my dear; I want no one but you. " Part Twenty-one � I get so lonely Saturday 16th November Nora woke in that same dream state that she had fallen into the night before; she could smell Jack�s aftershave on the pillow and the feel of his hands still upon her. She stretched her arms above her head and took a deep breath, centering herself and fully waking. The first thing she realised was that she was alone in bed, she couldn�t hear the shower and that familiar aroma of morning coffee wasn�t there. She panicked and jumped out of bed, the bathroom was empty, so was the living room. She went back to the bedroom searching for a note or something, but there was nothing, his clothes were gone, in fact the only memory of him ever being there the night before was in her head. She�d been used, how could he do that, one night stands. * * * * * After she�d recovered herself enough she�d showered and dressed and found herself taking a cab to where Lennie lived but when she got there she found she couldn�t go in. She simply stood outside in the rain considering what her next move should be. And then she realised how ridiculous she was being, what would people think seeing the District Attorney standing in the rain like some crazy woman. She didn�t want to go home though, she needed to talk to someone, to confess everything and rest her head on their knee and just sob like she did as a child with her mum. She couldn�t go to Anita she was too embarassed by her behaviour, so where could she go, who would understand? * * * * * At around 2p.m she finally pulled up in her sister�s driveway and walked the short distance to her front door, she rang the bell and in a second Louisa was there, looking motherly and comforting. She slid open the screen door and came out to where Nora was standing. "Nora sweetie, what are you doing here? You�re soaking." She noticed the tears sliding down Nora�s face. "What�s wrong, what�s happened?" Nora couldn�t speak she just fell against her sister and cried, finding some kind of solace in her arms. * * * * * Nora came down to the kitchen wearing her sister�s dressing gown with a towel wrapped round her head. Louisa smiled warmly as she came in and placed a teapot on the table. "You look much better." She said sitting down. "Thank you. I�m so sorry I just turned up here like this it�s just, I needed someone to talk to. In actual fact I needed mum." "I know that feeling, when everything�s going wrong and you remember how she used to pick you up and bandage you and everything would be fine again. It�s times like that I�m glad I stayed in this house, I can still sense her here it�s comforting, but then you must know that or you wouldn�t be here." She poured the tea. "So are you going to tell me what�s happened, another development in the Jack saga perhaps." Nora picked up her cup. "How can you guess?" "Instinct, I�ve never seen a man reduce you to this though." "I�ve never felt like this before." "Love." "Exactly, it�s so strange though, I mean I�ve been in love before and I�ve seen people who are really in love like you and George but I never thought it could be so consuming, so passionate and fiery and yet gentle and soothing. I guess I wasn�t prepared for it going wrong. I mean we�d argue like couples do and when he walked out I kept telling myself in time he�ll return." "So what�s changed that?" "It was his birthday yesterday and last night we ended up� together." She felt herself blush as she said it. "And it was perfect again and then I wake up and find he�s gone and suddenly I feel so used and empty, and I�m not sure I can get over that." "Yes you can, you�re strong, so much stronger than I�ve ever been." "No I�m not, just because I go to the city and build a career doesn�t make me strong just selfish. I�ve never married or had children, I haven�t built a loving home like you have I couldn�t, I could never live up to our mother but you have. Who else would bring us all together every year for Christmas the way you do." "So we have different strengths, we�ve always been different. You�re blond I�m brown, you like to fight your corner and I shrink into the background, you like the city life and I like it quiet. It�s just how it is, and Peter is in between." Nora smiled, she�d never really taken the time to appreciate how beautiful her sister was, she reached out and took her hand. "Can I stay the rest of the weekend?" "Of course, you know you�re always welcome, not just once a year. And when you get back to the city you have to make some changes, no waiting around for this guy to realise how lucky he is." "I know I know, but I thought this one was forever you know." "You�ve never been the marrying type." "I would have though, if he�d asked." "And you really think there�s no chance of you two getting back together." "I don�t see how we can, if he�d wanted too he would have stayed and this morning we would have talked it through and worked it out. But he keeps running away, and I can�t believe how stupid and weak I�m being to keep letting him get away with it. I knew what he was supposed to be like when I got into this, the sleeping around and lack of commitment and I was blind enough to think with me it would be different." "We can�t always predict how people are going to act, besides you said he�d changed since the first time you knew him, especially as he has this little girl now." "Lolita, she�s so like him." She smiled. "You miss her too right." "Very much, I can�t bring myself to change her room." "Then don�t, I really think you should just play it cool and wait it out and see what happens. You love this guy and I have a feeling he feels the same he just needs time to work it out." "He did say that, last night, but men say that during sex right." "Not all men, George hardly ever tells me he loves me." "But you�ve been together since you were teenagers." "But I still like to here it occasionally. What a family we are, I�ve been married to the same man my entire life, you never have been and Peter is onto his third already." "And what a choice she was." "Hmm the charming Charlotte." "Will they be joining us this year?" "Think so, Emily definitely will. Have you seen her recently?" "Yes we had lunch last week, she seems to be loving the law degree." "Must be her aunt�s support and influence, can�t help you being the DA." "I don�t know, might be a little daunting at times, I don�t think she tells people. I even offered to have her stay with me but she refused." "She�s in her early twenties and living in New York City, would you want to stay with your Aunt Nora?" Nora laughed. "No probably not." Louisa sipped her tea then put her cup down. "Forget this, let�s get changed and go out for dinner somewhere expensive, your treat." "What about the kids?" "George can cope for one night alone, I want to go out with my sister for a change." "Alright then, I�d like that, we don�t spend enough time together." "The pressures of getting old. Come on, let�s go dress up like when we were kids." * * * * * Monday 18th November Nora strode confidently into Hogan Place, her smile was firmly in place, her hair and make-up were immaculate and her suit sharp, she was ready for business. She got out of the elevator and marched to her office, greeting people as she went. She noticed Jack getting coffee; he looked like hell � good. He watched her walk all the way to her office she could tell, and then she shut the door firmly after her and breather deeply, relieved that it was over. It was lunchtime before he came to see her, and she was chatting to Anita when he knocked and came in. Anita made her excuses and went out leaving them alone, to Nora�s amusement. "Was there something you wanted Jack?" She asked business like. "I wanted to apologise. I�ve been trying to call you all weekend." "I went away for the weekend, I do have a life outside of work you know." That was a little harsh but perhaps he deserved it, he was certainly making her life a misery surely she could do the same. "Nora, look I�m sorry for what happened." "So you should be, I�m not one of your cheap whores. Now if you don�t mind, I have to get to lunch with Anita." "We need to talk." "Funny I thought that was my line. I have nothing to say to you Jack, remember you told me I didn�t need you, not really � well it�s taken me a while but I�ve realised you�re right. I�ve been alone my entire life and it hasn�t done me any harm. And look at how I�ve been these past few months, a complete wreck and I�m not going to let it go on anymore, my self respect is worth more than that. You�ve walked out on me twice, it was your decision to throw this away not mine, so don�t try coming in here with your sorry excuses because I�ve had enough." She�d practiced that all night and she was proud that it came out strong. "Then I�ll go." He snapped. He sloped off dejected and Anita came back in. "Gee he didn�t look too good what did you say?" "I told him some home truths and they hurt." "Certainly looks that way � it�s over then." Nora pulled her coat on and smiled, she didn�t give a definite answer she didn�t want to. She�d told Jack many things just now but she�d neglected to say how lonely she was without him. Part 20 Stories Part 22 |