| Disclaimer: I don�t own these characters, I don�t pretend to know all the ins and outs of Law & Order � I�ve just started watching it & I�m picking it up as I go. But the story & ideas are mine� please don�t sue! I W a n t L o v e A Jack/Nora story by Rhonda* "I want love, but it's impossible - A man like me, so irresponsible - A man like me is dead in places - Other men feel liberated. I can't love, shot full of holes - Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold - Don't feel nothing, just old scars - Toughening up around my heart. But I want love, just a different kind. I want love, won't break me down, won't brick me up, won't fence me in. I want a love, that don't mean a thing - That's the love I want, I want love. I want love on my own terms - After everything I've ever learned - Me, I carry too much baggage - Oh man I've seen so much traffic. But I want love, just a different kind. I want love, won't break me down, won't brick me up, won't fence me in. I want a love, that don't mean a thing. That's the love I want, I want love. So bring it on, I've been bruised - Don't give me love that's clean and smooth, I'm ready for the rougher stuff - No sweet romance, I've had enough." Part Thirteen � All too sleazy Thursday 4th October Summer had come and gone all too quickly and now October was here and things were busy for Nora. It seemed that every member of staff at Hogan Place was either recovering from or suffering from the dreaded flu, and the work kept mounting up. Jack had booked a day off to spend with Lolita and although she couldn�t blame him part of her wished he was there to help; poor Serena was snowed under. Nora poured herself a coffee, took one sip before cursing and running out of her office. �Serena, do you have the Loman file? It could have been mixed up with the other stuff I gave you.� �Well, it�s all in that box.� Serena pointed to the box of overflowing files by Nora�s feet. �Guess I better start looking then.� She put her glasses on and knelt by the box. She was flicking through them when she heard a loud squeal of, �Auntie Nora.� She looked up to see Lolita bounding towards her, she quickly held out her arms to catch the little girl. She felt slightly self-conscious as she noticed everybody staring at her while Lolita tried to climb onto her knee, but Jack was smiling at her as he chatted to Serena, and she relaxed. �You look very pretty today.� She said twisting the child�s hair. �Daddy bought me this new dress.� �He did, well it�s a lovely choice. You look very smart.� Nora couldn�t believe how quickly the bond between the two of them had developed and especially how easily Lolita had accepted the news, perhaps some things were just meant to be. �Can I come work in your office? Daddy says it�s very posh.� �Afraid not dear, but I�ll show you around.� She stood up and Lolita grabbed her hand, smiling broadly at the other staff as Nora led her into the office. She was swinging in Nora�s chair when Jack finally came in clutching a few files. �I thought you said no work this weekend.� �Well it looks like you�re going to be busy anyhow.� He laughed at Lolita struggling to sit upright in Nora�s chair. �Looks like you could be out of a job.� �You have lots of books Auntie Nora.� �She sure does, and she looks busy so we should go.� �Did you visit for a reason?� �Just to pop in, she wanted to see you.� Nora smiled. �How about we go out for dinner tonight, I�m tired and I need spoiling.� Jack grimaced. �Sorry, I kinda promised I�d go out to dinner with my little girl here.� �Oh, and am I not invited.� �Sure, if you want to come, Laura will be there. She broke up with the guy and is feeling a little down.� �How quickly does she go through these men.� She said reading through some papers. �Hey, not in front of Lita.� �Sorry.� She tried to smile but couldn�t help feeling shut out. �So what time will you be in?� �Not late. What�s wrong?� �Nothing, just tired.� �You�re always tired these days.� He took her arm. �Don�t do that.� She turned her face from him and watched Lolita spinning in her chair. �Lita, come on, we gotta go.� He held out his hand and she jumped from the chair and up into his arms. �Sorry, shouldn�t have come when you�re busy.� �It�s not that.� She took Lolita�s hand. �I�ll see you soon.� �Yep.� She kissed Nora�s cheek and rested her head on Jack�s shoulder as they left. Nora collapsed onto the sofa and closed her eyes. Things weren�t going well at the moment; in fact she couldn�t seem to shake the feeling that everything she did recently was wrong, especially when it came to Jack. It�s not that she was jealous of the time he spent with Lolita, far from it, she was glad he�d found her, it made him seem so much more happy, fulfilled if you like. But Laura was a different matter, she understood they had to be close for Lita�s sake, but sometimes it just seemed they were too close, reminiscing about old times, excluding her. God, was she paranoid or what? She rested her head on her knees and closed her eyes, she had to get through this, it was just another day right. * * * * * It was ten at night before Jack got in, he found Nora on the balcony eating ice cream. He leant against the window watching her. �A little cold to be out here isn�t it.� She twisted her head to see him. �I needed the air.� She turned back to the view. �How was dinner?� �Fun, sorry I�m late.� �It�s ok.� He knelt down next to her. �What�s this indulgence?� �We all need it every now and then.� She stared at him, searching for something, but she wasn�t sure what. �Is there something you want to ask me?� He took her hand and kissed it. �Is there something you want to tell me?� She pulled her hand back. �No, other than I�m tired and it�s been a long day, so lets go to bed. Oh, I nearly forgot, Lita made this for you.� He produced a creased scrap of paper. Nora smiled and took the picture from him. �It�s beautiful.� �That�s you I think.� �Yeah I can tell, in my office right.� �She hoped you�d put it up in there.� �Perhaps I will. I�m sorry I�m being such a bitch.� �What�s wrong? I wish you�d tell me.� �I don�t know myself.� She licked the spoon and got up going back into the apartment. �Don�t walk away, come on Nora, I�m supposed to help.� �There�s nothing to help me with, besides you�re busy yourself aren�t you.� He slammed the balcony door shut. �Is that what this is about, you�re jealous of Lolita?� �Of course not, it�s not her, what do you think I am selfish?� �Then what? Come on don�t bottle up your emotions, isn�t that what you tell me.� �Is there something going on with you and Laura?� �What the hell! Of course not, for gods sake Nora, you don�t trust me.� She tried to pass him but he blocked her. �Do you, after all this time.� * * * * * That night Jack slept on the sofa for the first time since he�d moved in all those months ago; and Nora just didn�t sleep. She stared at the ceiling and went over things in her mind trying to figure out exactly what was wrong. Is wasn�t just his new found friendship with Laura, she felt lonely even though he was there with her, down all the time for no reason. Perhaps these changes had affected her more than she wanted to admit. She turned onto her side and switched the alarm off, no point in it since she was already awake. The pillows smelt of Jack, something she always found comfort in, but not this morning. There was no sound of him in the shower, no smell of fresh coffee from the kitchen, and the worst thing was she knew it was her fault, all her fault. She dragged herself out of bed and went into the living room, as she expected he was already gone, sheets neatly folded, no sign of him. It was her turn to apologise, she knew that, but for some reason she didn�t know what to say or how to go about it. * * * * * Friday 5th October - evening Nora sipped the brandy and leant back in the chair. The bar was full, overflowing even and she was glad, she wanted to hide. She�d had a lousy day, not apologized to Jack, hardly even spoken to him and she felt terrible about it. Then she was on her way home and suddenly realised she didn�t want to go there, so she�d stopped in this sleazy bar in an area she normally wouldn't venture into, especially not on her own. She felt a hand on her shoulder and spun round ready to defend herself. �Hi.� She was surprised to see the man she�d met in the Holiday Inn in Elmira. �Shocked to see me right.� �You could say that.� �Can I sit down?� �Sure, it�s a free country isn�t it.� He pulled out a chair and sat down. �You here alone?� �Yeah, surely you�re not.� �No, came with friends, they�re by the bar.� She turned to see a few guys and a couple of very attractive girls smiling at her. �And yet you�re talking to me.� �You seem interesting.� She laughed. �You hardly know me.� �I�d like to know more.� �Still charming then.� �Of course, and are you still unavailable?� She only smiled and took another drink, why did he need to know anyway. �I can�t believe somebody like you is alone.� He leant forward and brushed her hand. �Let me get you a drink, some wine?� �Sure, if you want to buy.� She was enjoying this game; in fact she�d forgotten how good it felt to have a man pay attention to her. She must have sat with him for over an hour, talking about nonsense, flirting like she was single again. She drained the last of her wine and stood up. �I should go, I need some air.� �Well I�ll walk with you for a while, if you like.� �Ok, if you don�t mind.� He took her hand and led her outside, before she knew what was happening she was pressed up against a wall and he was kissing her. His hands were rough as he squeezed her waist and his lips impatient, she knew this feeling it was lust. His hand groped her breast and she jumped, forcing him back. �What�s wrong, I thought you wanted this.� �I�m sorry.� She pushed her skirt back into place and pulled her jacket tight. �I have to go home.� �Hey I didn�t mean to rush anything I just thought you were up for it. I�ll hail you a cab.� She waited by the sidewalk and watched as he got her a cab. How the hell did she end up here? What if he�d not been a decent guy, what if he�d not been willing to stop, the thought made her shiver. �I�m sorry.� She said getting into the cab. �That�s ok, remember call if you want to.� She closed the door, she wouldn�t ever call, and he knew that aswell as she did. She felt so guilty, what was wrong with her, she wasn�t even sure who she was anymore, or what she wanted. Jack, Jack, Jack kept going over and over in her mind, an apology was in order. * * * * * She found him sprawled out on the sofa watching an old film, she hung her coat up and threw her keys done, this wasn�t going to be easy. �Where you�ve been?� He asked without looking up. �I was worried.� �Having a drink in a bar, I needed to be alone.� He switched off the television and sat up. �And do you still need to be alone?� She watched him fiddle with the remote then toss it aside, what was she thinking, risking what they had. She went toward him and leant against his body, in a second his arms were around her waist and his face pressed against her stomach. She kissed his head, he smelt so good, then knelt down in front of him. He took hold of her face. �I wish you�d just talk to me.� She unbuckled his belt and slipped it out of his jeans, and he ran his hand through her hair. �Nora, I thought we agreed sex wasn�t an apology.� She took no notice and unbuttoned his jeans putting her hand inside and rubbing him. His hand tightened in her hair and gasped. �God Nora, no foreplay.� He tried to lift her up to kiss her, but she pushed him back against the sofa and arranged herself so she had a good angle. She pushed up his T-shirt and licked his stomach then all the way down, pushing his boxers off as she went. * * * * * Afterwards she left him lying there, breathless and just a little shocked, while she took a shower. When she finally emerged in clean pajamas he was in bed, with the lamp on, reading. �Feeling better?� She closed the bathroom door and watched him; he looked up at her. �Nora.� How sexy his voice was, deep and even and slow, comforting. �Are you coming to bed.� She nodded and went to the other side of the room pulling the drapes closed and climbing in next to him. He closed his book and turned to her. �You want to talk yet? You�ve never done that before, in fact I didn�t think you liked that sort of thing.� Her head shot up. �Didn�t you?� He smiled. �What do you think? I just didn�t know oral sex was something you liked.� �Because I�m so dull right.� �What? I�ve never thought that.� He rested his hand on her stomach. �Nora I don�t care whether you do that sort of thing or not, I love you. For your warmth and kindness, your generosity, your intelligence. You�re the hardest working person I know and that�s saying something when you look at me. And you support me, even when I don�t deserve it. Some women wouldn�t have been able to cope with all this that we�ve been through, Lolita has changed most things in my life, but not my feelings for you, never that.� She was crying now, there were so many things in her head she wanted to say, most of all �I kissed another man.� She willed the thought away; he didn�t need to know, not now. He pulled her over to him and wiped her face. �If I�m making you unhappy then tell me, if you think it�s over tell me.� �Not that.� She gasped trying to swallow. He smiled. �So if you still want me and I still want you we shouldn�t be doing this to each other. I don�t want to hurt you.� She shook her head. �How ridiculous am I � I can hardly breathe.� She twisted herself onto her back and tried to will the sobbing away. He gently rubbed her hand. �Nothing�s ever easy, we sort one problem out we only find another.� �Aren�t I supposed to be the rational one.� �Let�s put it down to a lapse for you and a fluke for me, your good intentions rubbing off.� She turned back over to him and kissed him hard. �I�m so sorry.� She sobbed again. �Hey, no more crying, you�ll make yourself ill.� He gently kissed her. �I love you so much Nora, I couldn�t bear to be without you.� She ran her trembling fingers over his mouth and he kissed each one. �Make love to me, it�s been so long since we�� �I know.� He slowly rolled her over and enfolded her in his arms. �We should try not to neglect each other again.� �You think I would have learnt that relationships don�t just happen, you work at them and fix what goes wrong.� �Exactly.� He dipped his head and kissed the softest spot at the base of her neck. �This is my favourite place on your body.� He smiled at her. �Really � I wouldn�t expect that.� �What about on my gorgeous physique?� She laughed. �Your hands, I love the feel of your hands, the shape, when you touch me.� �We should share things like this more often. Remember when we spent the entire weekend in bed.� �How could I forget.� She pulled his head down and they kissed properly, their tongues exploring each other�s mouths, she wrapped her legs around him and he slowed the kiss down then stopped to smile at her. �Your thighs are pretty fantastic too.� �Your heats beating fast.� She laid her hand on his chest. �Nervous?� �Strange isn�t it. After all these months of being with you.� They kissed again and she rolled him over so she was on top, she sat up and he helped her take the pajama top off. His hands slid up her stomach to her breasts and she closed her eyes, the image of an earlier event still fresh in her mind. But when she looked down it was Jack touching her, like it should be. She leant forward and her hair fell round his face, he brushed it back with one hand while the other roamed down her body and between her legs. She kissed him and pressed her body against his hand, �I love you.� She whispered. �Don�t ever let this end.� He rolled her over and pinned her down covering her face and chest with kisses. �I promise, never.� He mumbled between kisses. She wrapped her arms tight around him and let herself go to the feelings that were swimming inside her, and tried to block out the entire day. * * * * * Part 12 Stories Part 14 |