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| F o o l i s h |
Author�s Note: To fully understand this story you have to read my 1st ever fanfic piece I Want Love, this fits onto it. The idea follows on from the news that Dianne is to leave L&O. F o o l i s h Jack didn�t like retreating to these places. Drink wasn�t the answer; he�d discovered that for himself a long time ago and unfortunately had also watched it slowly eat away at one if his closest friends too. But right now all he wanted to do was drink his troubles away. Right when they should have been planning their marriage too. A good year into their engagement and finally they had set a date. It seemed a bit surreal. A bit misplaced now. After all that had happened. They�d slipped into that routine now, a dull revolving life that regurgitated itself over and over. Another case, another hard day, another dinner and discussion and bed. And only every so often they stepped out of it to attend a family gathering or go on vacation together. They were the real moments, the things that had mattered. Regrettably they were becoming far too few these days, Nora had even cancelled attending the twin�s birthday party the other week because of a selection of interviews she was doing. That wasn�t her. He had lost what was her. Or his view of what was the real her. And she�d forgotten how to care. * * * She hardly slept these days, by Jack�s side, comfortably, warm and secure. Too bombarded by the outer world to concentrate on the inner. Something had shifted, though she wasn�t sure what, some element of her self, what built up her. Something was making her unhappy, though she didn�t know what, couldn�t pinpoint the problem or fix it. And it had all gone wrong, all her great plans to make this step in her career the biggest and brightest had fallen short, plans for their marriage, to ease him into her family and make it forever � now she was the one who made the grandiose proclamations that went sour. Didn�t she look a fool. So she had decided to get away, without him. The engagement was on hold, their lives on hold until once again she could reach a decision. The problems had built up, escalated and taken them with it and now the only way to find her way back was to separate herself from it. To go away and find some space and decide what mattered the most to her. No arguing, no tears, they were both too advanced for all that. She had told him her plans and he stormed out, no words, no force to prevent her going. What did she expect? His undying love lay on the line again. Again and again he would do it, if only to serve her whims. Selfish Nora, didn�t want it but nobody else could have it. And if she had it she mistreated it. Wasn�t that how it always went. The cab was outside, the plane ticket booked nowhere else to go but on. * * * Jack didn�t like being alone in their apartment it was unnerving, far too quiet and empty. So he�d spent a few nights with Lennie and then Lita had come to stay with him over the weekend. She was getting big now and so very clever, extremely sharp always questioning Jack. It was down to Nora that, she read her too much, fed her too much information and filled her head with ideas that a little girl really should forget about. They�d spent the day in the park enjoying the last of the summer and then when it had threatened rain they had gone home, dug out one of Nora�s cookbooks and spent the afternoon making batches of different flavoured cookies and finally pizza for dinner. Jack had never really considered himself as a cook but he had to admit it turned out pretty well in the end. Lita was asleep by 7.30 and Jack had opened a bottle of red wine and began relaxing in his favourite chair placing it by the window overlooking the city. Always beautiful at night. And he wondered where Nora was, who she was with, what was going through her head. * * * Nora had found a delightful place to stay. In the middle of nowhere, by the sea � a small cottage that just had enough to satisfy her needs. A comfy bed and a few old books, candles and hot water and a large old-fashioned bath. Simple yet just what she required. Funny how simple things cost so damned much these days. On her first morning there she had been woken by the sun early, got up and had a glass of water. Then returned to bed and not rose until almost 1p.m. It was the longest she had slept in what felt like years. She really needed it although her head felt heavy when she finally got up and her body was calling for food, she was glad of the rest. Without energy and reluctant to venture too far from the new surroundings she had taken her place on the porch, settled in the rocking chair and read for the last few hours of the day. Had a light evening meal and returned to her book by candlelight. The second night she slept fitfully, woke early and took a short walk around the cottage, still not quite sure about going far. She bought eggs, milk and fresh strawberries from the passing Dairy Farmer and had a brief chat with him. Apparently it wasn�t far to the village; she could easily walk there and back in the day. She would do that, not today but she would. She enjoyed her breakfast, took a long bath, and returned to her book. It had been such a long time since she had felt so relaxed, so content and decadent and � well herself. By early evening she had gone down to the beach watching the sun set as she walked through the surf, picturing herself in some kind of movie, the heroine of some sort. It made her laugh, and she thought of Jack and she wanted to share the moment with him. It had been so long since they�d shared something like this, some inner feeling, a secret joke, a smile reserved just for him. And so very long since they�d made love, she would bring him back here when everything was calm again. And they would watch the sunset together, and buy breakfast from the locals and make love in the comfortable old bed. She twisted the ring on her finger, reassuring. Everything was clear now, her decision had been made. How foolish she'd been - somethings were just not meant to be. Review Story Index Home |