Disclaimer: All characters are owned by richer people than me � I�m just having a little play! Nora stepped off the elevator and surveyed the emptiness and blissful silence, she always enjoyed coming into work early purely for this reason, it gave her time to gather her thoughts and have her first coffee of the day alone in her office. She struggled to open her office door, with her coat draped over her arm, her briefcase and bag in one hand and a take out coffee scolding her other. She cursed and took a deep breath stepping back to put her things down when the door opened from the inside and was held open for her. �Jack, what are you doing in my office at 8a.m?� �I needed to talk to you and I know you like to come in early.� He took her coat and hung it up for her and she thanked him for his help. She placed herself on the sofa and sipped her coffee watching him, he looked tired, must have been a restless night, or a young girl keeping him company she smiled to herself. �So what�s the problem?� She tucked one ankle behind the other and smoothed her skirt while Jack paced the room. �A new case, late last night it happened.� �You�re rambling, sit down and tell me exactly what happened.� He sat at her desk rather than next to her on the sofa. �A young man, early twenties he killed his wife, stabbed her with a kitchen knife.� �You bring this pleasant news to me first thing in the morning, remind me to do the same for you.� He smiled, she always tried to lighten these tense moments with a joke, she was right it never was pleasant dealing with things like this, especially when it hit just a little too close to home. �Well the guy pleaded guilty, there was only one stab wound so it wasn�t a frenzied attack.� �An act of domestic violence?� �Not that clear cut. They�re gonna plead he was under stress, forced to it. You see the wife was pregnant, or had been. She had an abortion without telling him a week ago and then they had an argument and it all came out.� He daren�t look up at Nora so just folded his hands and stared down at his feet. She gulped down the lump in her throat so she could speak. �So that�s why you came to me with this now.� �I didn�t want to drag up old issues Nora, I just thought you should know, if you�re not comfortable talking about this in front of Serena or whatever.� �If I�m not comfortable � what about you?� Jack stood up, he had to get out of the room, the tension was killing him. �I don�t want to do this now.� �Jack you can�t just walk away, ignore it.� �Like you did you mean, you aborted my baby, our baby.� �I was nineteen years old, I didn�t want a child, all that responsibility. And neither did you not really.� �It would have been nice if I�d had the chance to make that decision.� �Oh don�t pull that, Jack you weren�t responsible enough to bring up a child, for gods sake you think I don�t know about all the other girls you were sleeping with, I overlooked it because I wanted to be with you.� �I would have changed.� �You still haven�t Jack, you�re still the same, you always will be. And I don�t want to criticize you for that, you�re a wonderful caring intelligent man and I love you very much but you just have this flaw � you can�t resist a pretty face. There was no way our relationship would have lasted, you�d just started law school, I was still at university, I didn�t want to ruin my chances of having a career.� �Then we�d have worked something out, I would have taken care of the baby.� �Please Jack, I wouldn�t let you do that to yourself. You didn�t want to marry me.� �You never gave me the chance.� He stilled leaning against the door, his hand on the handle poised to leave. �If this case is going to be a problem, do you want me to get someone else on it.� �No, damn Nora I just wanted to get this out in the open I didn�t want you to hurt.� �Thank you, but I dealt with my decision a long time ago Jack, I don�t want to be a mother I never have. Call me selfish and self-centered but I like my life the way it is.� �I don�t judge you Nora, I�ve certainly fucked things up good and proper in my life. It�s just, all those memories came back when Lennie called me last night.� �Lennie called you � he knows?� �I�m sorry, I told him years ago about you, I never thought you�d meet.� �That�s ok, I understand.� �Look I got to go get changed, can�t go into court looking like this.� �Jack come back later, let me take you out for dinner. I don�t like there being bad feeling between us.� �There�s no bad feeling Nora, there never has been.� �You may very well say that but I can�t help but feel that we�ve gone back in our relationship. We�ve been friends so many years Jack, it took along time to build that trust up again.� �I know, and it hasn�t gone so don�t worry. We�ll go to dinner if you like, talk some more.� * * * Jack had never been particularly good at dealing with his feelings that�s why it had been easier to walk away from Nora that morning than try and deal with it. But now as she sat across from him over after-dinner brandy he couldn�t escape her gaze, she always knew how to get his attention, she had a look reserved specially for him. He drained his brandy glass and glanced across at her smiling face. �Guess that was good.� �Yeah and needed. One hell of a day.� �Tell me.� She reached over and took his hand. �It�s the strangest thing but I actually feel quite sorry for the guy.� �I can understand why.� �But as much as you hurt me there was no way I would have ever have resorted to violence you know that right.� �Of course I do. The only thing I ever regretted about my decision was hurting you Jack if I could change that then I would.� He patted her arm. �Fancy going for a walk? It�s a clear night.� �Sure, but not too long it�s getting late and I have an early meeting.� �Ok, I�ll walk you home how about that.� �It would be lovely. I�ll pay.� �Nora�� �No arguments, my treat.� * * * Nora couldn�t sleep that night, she was awake at 2a.m after less than a hour in bed and despite her better judgement she found herself having a glass of whiskey as she sat in the darkness of her apartment. It was funny how just one day could alter so many things, all these years she�d never once considered what it would have meant to have kept the child. She could have been married to Jack for over 30 years by now, an amazing thought in itself; they could have had many children, even grandchildren on the way. She may never have pursued her career, or he his. On the other hand they could be divorced, no longer friends and hardly even on speaking terms, each blaming the other for the lack of achievement in their lives, and that thought scared her more than the first. The idea that she wouldn�t be able to be part of his life, laugh with him, have gossip sessions and intelligent conversations. Usually the best part of her day was spending time with him, even if it was just for five minutes to discuss a case, he always had a way of making her feel special. Of course she knew he did that for practically every woman he came into contact with, a real charmer, but it didn�t stop her enjoying the feeling. There was no doubt in her mind she loved him, but whether or not that love would have sustained all these years or crumbled under the pressure was doubtful. Besides she could never see Jack as the relationship type guy, he didn�t respond well to commitment. And she could never be with someone who was only half-heartedly with her; she needed the dedication, the attention, and the safety net of knowing he would always be there. She gulped down the last of her whiskey as the irony of it hit her. Jack was her first love, the young guy who�d swept her away at university and now here she was so many years later still infatuated by him, still intrigued by him, and still yearning for his love. How cruel destiny must be to throw this man into her path but never allow her to completely have him, to condemn her to never meet somebody to rival him in her affections, to never know what it would mean to be a wife. Who would have guessed all those years ago that this is where it would all lead - to Hogan Place, a dashing lawyer and his love struck boss who could always put on a brave face. |
 |
| D e s t i n y |
| by Ms. E |