| Disclaimer: Don�t own characters just allowing them a little fun� By Laydee G & Ms Etoile Splinters of pain stung at Jack�s eyes, he tightened them further and took the pillow out from beneath his head and covered his face with it. Damn alcohol, damn sunshine mornings. When he tipped his head to the side and attempted to look around he fell off the couch. That was age, that was dignity, he mocked laughing at himself. �Ah Jesus, Sunday hangover.� He complained sitting up and leaning back against the couch. Strangely his trousers were neatly folded on a chair, his shirt hung on the back, a glass of water on the table by his side. He�d done some strange things when he was drunk but never tidied up after himself before. He reached for his trousers and dragged them from the chair searching for his wallet in his pocket; he usually kept a couple of aspirin tucked in there. That would do the trick. Fumbling in the wallet he found no aspirin, he tipped it up, loose change scattering by his feet. �Where the bloody hell?� He shook the wallet again in frustration, where the hell were his things? And why the hell did it feel like someone was squashing his head? He brushed his hand through his hair and discovered some plastic monstrosity sitting there, well wedged there in fact. He tore it from his hair and fingered the pink and purple headband that had been perched on his head. Shiny, glittery, two springy things on top � obviously once had something on the end of them, looked like they�d broken off. Throwing it onto the couch he got on his knees and began to collect the coins he had scattered there. �Just what did I get up to last night?� Pushing his hand beneath the couch his hand caught hold of a small wrapper, he pulled it out. �My lucky condom.� He smiled turning it over in his hand. �Empty!� Now he usually kept this in his wallet too. �Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!� * After taking two aspirin and a large mug of coffee Jack was determined to face the world as a fully functional human being, and so showered and dressed and prepared for work. As he sorted through his briefcase he discovered a red envelope hastily tucked into one of the pockets. Trembling hands tore it open, fumbling, and shit! a paper cut. As always, read the signature first.... �After what�s just happened, I perhaps should have considered buying you a nicer card, but why waste a fiver? Thank you for proving me wrong, Jack!� Signed �Serena�. It was a reproduction of a penny dreadful, a folding affair with absurd caricature illustrations: big-bellied, thick thighed, fat-arsed Victorian Era cupids, as well as a cynical verse: Not a fellow for love And his friendship�s a joke. Impossible for a woman To trust such a bloke! Charming. She must have tucked it in here...when?...... When, indeed, for he had no memory of having seen her at all since early on last night at the senior staff Valentine�s Day party. No memory of anything, for that matter, after his second... third? Fourth? Scotch and water. Jesus, but would he never learn just to stick with the Club Soda? * Perhaps it was the impact of the cold, stale, damp air of the parking garage that initiated the first wave of painful recall that flooded over him. Or perhaps he could accredit the aspirin and caffeine for the jolt to his system. Either way, he was aware of a faint, light citrus-y scented memory, of soft, rounded female bits and of jack-hammering it home. On his own sofa. His lucky condom gone. Thank-you-for-proving-me-wrong-Jack.......... �Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!� �Yes, fuck, Jack. That�s exactly what you�ve done!� he dolefully told himself. �Fuck, indeed!� * * With a curtain of despair descending over him he sped to work, driving recklessly and not even stopping for his morning bagel and coffee. It didn�t even occur to him that he might be a little early, the traffic was heavy, the queues just as long. But when he got to Hogan�s Place nobody occupied reception, only the odd security guard paraded the vacant halls. He unlocked his office door and collapsed on to his sofa, he glanced at his watch � not even 8. Where was Serena today? In court first thing? What the hell what was he gonna say to her when he did see her? When he now knew he�d had the pleasure of handling that young supple body? And damn his memory he couldn�t recall a thing about it! What the weight of her breasts felt like in his hands, how smooth and warm her thighs were� �Damn, damn, damn, screw stupid old McCoy!� He cursed jumping up and throwing a book across the room. With hands on hips he stared out the window. �I guess she did just that.� He allowed himself a smirk at the ridiculousness of it all. He did get himself into some bizarre situations � still, at his age and with his experience. A fool for a winning smile. Sitting down again he cast a glance over the work on his desk, and was about to get started when his door swung open. �Good morning Jack.� Smiled a breezy bright and very blonde Serena. �How you feeling this morning?� She quipped giving him a disapproving glance. �Erm, alright, I guess�� Oh shit! He wasn�t prepared, play it cool Jack, play it cool. �How �bout you?� �I�m fine, wonderful party, never knew you lot were so lively.� She giggled recalling dancing on a table with a pink balloon tied to her wrist. �First party is always a bit� well, distracting.� �Yea, you sure you�ve not got a hangover.� �Little perhaps.� �I can get you some coffee.� �No, you don�t have to do that.� He took a deep breath and rolled the pen between his fingers. �Don�t you think we should talk?� Serena was looking across his bookcase. �About?� �Well, it, of course.� �It?� �Yea� IT!� He prompted raising an eyebrow. Serena stared at him dumbfounded. �I think I will get you a coffee, if you mean the case we talked about it last night.� He coughed. �We did?!� �Yep, so I�m all sorted on that score, your help was invaluable. You�re a good teacher Jack.� He shrugged. �Thanks, never been called a teacher before. But it takes all sorts.� �It does.� He leant back in his chair. �So you�re all right with this?� he spread his fingers. �All this.� �Fine, it�s just a casual thing, I�ll talk to you later about how it goes if you like.� �Erm, sure, yea sure.� He nodded. �Good, I have to rush.� Before he could formulate a response she�d disappeared. A casual thing? He was a casual thing to a young girl, there was one for the pride, perhaps he could get used to that� � � � � � But no! He couldn�t, shouldn�t get used to it. She was his assistant, it wasn�t appropriate, and he�d fucked things up by screwing his assistants before. She was good, he should keep her on staff, and Nora wouldn�t be pleased. Shit! Nora! She wouldn�t just not like it; she�d be fucking fuming if she found out. What if she heard it from someone else? And what about the cosy chats they�d shared over the past few months, where might all that be leading? Bollocks he really was a lousy guy at times. So he should go talk to Nora, explain, she was sensible and levelheaded, she�d know how to handle it. How to let a young girl down gently, how to smooth things over. And perhaps if he told her first hand she wouldn�t be so mad. Not one of his better days looming ahead. * Jack checked across the hall yet again. It was after 7; the lights remained on in Nora�s office, the door was still closed. Was the woman planning to work 24/24?? No sooner had he decided that he wasn�t going to get a chance to speak with her privately today, but that two ADAs took their leave, looking tired and frustrated by whatever had kept them in the boss� office for over two hours. He�d been waiting so long that he was able to throw pride and all caution to the wind. Time to move! Nora was sitting behind her desk, hands to her face, rubbing her brows. She looked as if she were carrying the weight of the world on her small shoulders, Jack thought. A powerful woman, yes, but so small, really, considering the enormity of the job she was trying to do. Too many people to try to please. Too big a job to do properly and without constantly ruffling feathers. She was one tough broad, but she also placed incredibly hard demands upon herself. She was a sensitive woman, too. Try as she might to hide it, Nora Lewin was not all sharp corners and high walls. Knocking on the doorframe, he could feel the heat on his cheeks, the annoying �guilty schoolboy� flush that betrayed the practised cool exterior of the professional adult. Nora had teased him about it more than once before; he was sure that she would remark it right away. But no, not tonight. In fact, she gave him barely more than a summary glance. �Tough case, Jack?� She was absorbed in going through the motions of packing up and preparing to leave. His resolution wavered, but only for a moment. Even though she obviously had something on her mind, he needed her to know what he�d done, to come clean, to ask her advice. �Actually, I�ve been waiting to speak with you, Nora.� Hesitant. Should he go ahead and take a seat on the sofa or wait in the doorway? Which would look the most confident without giving the air of arrogance? The sofa, but near the door. He sat. Wherever they were, her thoughts were definitely not on the Law; Nora slipped her not-quite-empty coffee mug into her briefcase. �Jesus, damn!� she wailed in self-directed anger. �How could I do something so stupid??!!?� She extricated the offending mug, frantically pulled out the several files she�d tucked into her case and set them on the floor. Both she and Jack precipitated themselves onto the tissue box, then onto the wet files, furiously blotting and wiping. Jack picked them up. A small, red, plastic, glitter-covered heart kerplopped onto the hardwood floor. They watched it as though fascinated, neither speaking, while a small tear of muddy-red dye slid off and pooled underneath it. With a distracted eye Jack picked it up and wrapped it in a tissue, never stopping to consider the fact that the dye would instantly rub off in his hand. Instinctively Nora took the small package from his hand and stood up backing away from him � distancing herself from him. �Where�� Jack swallowed, hastily trying to continue. �Where did you get that?� �Does it matter?� Nora replied dropping the smeared tissue into the bin beneath her desk. �Was it from Serena?� �What? What are you talking about, look Jack you made it pretty clear today you regretted what happened.� She dropped into her chair. �Guess I�m not surprised, you were quite drunk, so was I, for what it matters now�� �You mean�?� Dumbfounded Jack sagged against the side of her desk. �I thought you might at least have had the decency to come in here and talk to me about it though, clear the air. I know you aren�t for relationships, difficulty separating sex from emotion.� �It wasn�t that.� He blurted out. �I got a Valentine from Serena.� �Really?� She shook her head amused and got back up, bending to collect the soggy files from the floor and shaking them one last time. �I�m tired Jack, I need to go home.� �What do you think about it?� �About you getting a Valentine from Serena? Nothing, she cares for you, respects even� she�s a good girl.� �That she is.� Jack smiled, relieved somewhat as reality dawned. He attempted to get up from the floor with dignity but stumbled and had to move to his knees before he could rise fully. �I�m sorry Nora. I made a mess of things, again.� �A mistake then, you and I?� That sensitive side reared its head. �No, yes I guess it should be, but no, not completely. Just how it happened I guess. I was drunk.� �And passed out pretty much straight away afterwards.� �Ah shit how embarrassing.� �I was too high to really care. Too much champagne, and wearing that silly headband.� �Where did you get it?� �I won it, best dressed female at the party.� She giggled. �The red dress.� Jack snapped his fingers as vague memories resurfaced. �Yeah, do you recall any of the evening?� She looked hurt. Should he lie? �Yes, yes I remember the best bits.� �Good, I�d hate to think I was an easily forgotten one night stand.� Pride restored she dried out her briefcase and packed her things again. �At least I got to see you in a pink glittery headband.� She smiled glancing at him. Hands dug in pockets Jack looked down at his feet, she�d reduced him to naughty schoolboy again. �You kept the hearts from it though.� �Call it a momentum.� She snapped her case shut and reached for her coat. �Must get home.� �Plans?� �No,� she shook her head sadly. �No, no plans. Long day.� �Ahh.� He followed as she moved towards the door and pulled the light switch down. The darkness allowed some reprieve; her eyes couldn�t question him in the dark. With hands deep in pockets he asked. �Dinner tonight then Nora? You and me.� Too late, he knew he�d done it yet again, used that flippant attitude he counted on to hide his insecurity, his embarrassment. Unwittingly, this time, but that would not matter, for given what had passed between them, there was no reasonable explanation for it. None at all. Nora�s body stiffened; she paused only a moment before slowly, deliberately turning to look at him, her anger palpable. �Dinner tonight, then....?!� The sarcasm cut like a knife. He felt the colour rush to his cheeks. His tongue clung uselessly to the roof of his mouth. Was it hangover dehydration or the realisation that his asshole-ness apparently knew no bounds? When she spoke again she was calm, her tone blunt and dismissive: �Oh, Jack, no matter how hard I try, I just don�t understand you. Is there not an ounce of empathy or romance in your body?� She turned towards the door again. If he did not follow, he knew that he could very well find himself locked inside. �Nora. I�m sorry. I didn�t mean to sound callous. I truly am sorry.� �I know you are, Jack. I know.� She kept her back to him. The elevator waited at the end of the corridor; she entered and turned to face him. He saw that her anger had dissipated. In its place, her tired, pretty face wore a rueful, self-mocking expression. �The trouble is, Jack, that you are always sorry. You just can�t be yourself. Why is it so goddamn hard for you to be honest? No wonder that there�s always a need for some kind of an apology.� She paused, then added, �But who is the bigger fool, when all is said and done? You or the woman who is foolish enough to care about you?� She held his gaze, shook her head. �And the dress was pink, Jack...� She pushed the Lobby button; the doors began to slide closed between them. �...... to match the headband.� |
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