My friend
My confidante
You know my deepest secrets
And darkest thoughts
That clouds my troubled mind
You see parts of me
That no one else can reach
When I lie alone in bed
Shrouded in the dark
You get me through the night
Helping me ease my pain
Until just a scare remains
My companion
My vanquisher
My helper
My secret
My drug
My refuge
My inflictor
My friend
My blade
Crimson scarlet red
Emanating from my flesh
Break the skin
Break the barrier of pain
Only to make more
I close my eyes and hold my breath
And pray to find the strength
Then watch the band of blood
And little beads form around the cut
I try so hard to numb the pain
Obliviate the hurt inside
This is my blood
That I spill to survive
This is the body
That is covered in scars
This is the ritual
That fulfills my self-destruction
My body bleeds like my soul
And I know I still feel
When the world is too much too bear
This is the way I get through
Too afraid to die
Too afraid to press too hard
These little deaths
Are the last refuge I have
I feel so hollow inside
So empty and cold
I wonder if I should make myself bleed
Just to see if I�m still alive
I am frozen to the core
So numb, I can�t feel anything
Life has left this wretched flesh
And emptiness remains
To whom do you turn
When your friends are the walls
And you cry in the dark
No one can hear your sobs
Or know you�re alone with your pain
A pain that kills you inside
Rips your soul to shreds
And tears at your heart
When every night is like death
Yet there is no rest at all
It�s just you and your tears
Scream though you may
No one will come
For you are alone
While the world is asleep
Where were you that day
When the sky cracked and my world fell apart
When my soul began to decay
And fate broke my mother�s heart
Where were you
When I begged you to take me away
Crying in the dark in my bed
But you made me stay
Left with so many tears to shed
Why didn�t you come
When I wanted to escape and run
I had to crawl out of Hell on my own
Like a man who lived in a cave
Climbing out into the blinding sun
Your hand never led me home
Mercy you never gave
Out in the cold I shiver
Because you failed to deliver
Because I am a corpse without life
Because you cursed me with all this strife
Because my life is a living Hell
Because of agony too painful to tell
Because I was abandoned when I needed you most
Because memories of joy are no more than a ghost
Because I had to see my mother cry
Because I wished I could die
Because I am cold and broken inside
Because there is no place left to hide
Because I�m scarred for the rest of my years
Because I�ve cried countless tears
Because darkness is all I see
Because this shit happened to me
Tell me
Where were you?
Don�t touch me
Don�t come near
You will find nothing
But sadness here
Spare yourself
And look away
Leave while you can
You�ve no reason to stay
I have been cursed
To a lifetime of pain
I love you too much
To see you suffer the same
Just remember me
When you dream at night
Only there is it safe
To have me in your life