It wis Shuggie the smuggler, brought Mary frae France
Where she'd learned how tae talk, an' tae act like a lady
She had merried her Prince, an' he'd taught her tae dance
Jist like Ginger Rogers in "Sweet Rosie O'Grady"
When up oan the flerr, she could dae the Fandango
An' the Tally, David Rizzio, had taught her how tae Tango
She picked up her twirls, an' the ane twa chasse
Frae a big French dancer, called, Monsieur L'Apache
She'd brought a' her court wi' her aboard the clipper
There wis Mary, her manicurist, wi' her hair sae red
An' Mary, her hairdresser, she wis called the snipper
An' Mary o' her chamber, wid tuck her intae bed
An' Mary in the kitchen, wid wash up a' the mugs
An' Shuggie o' course, tae walk a' Mary's dugs
'Twas a gloomy gloomy day, when they sailed intae Leith
A total eclipse o' the sun, no' wi' the moon tae the earth
But the usual big black clouds, stretchin' a' the way tae Perth
So this weather'd make ye sick, right up tae yer wisdom teeth
