| The Mysteries of MS When the Neurologist looks in your troubled face, affirming that you have Multiple Sclerosis, how should you react? When he explains, there is no cure for this ?chronic' disease, how do you respond? When you sit back, contemplating the grim reality, how do you feel? We have all, individually, dealt with this dilemma. Each of us has been coerced into a state of emotional frenzy by the term - Multiple Sclerosis. Both you and I, have had to sit quietly while the Doctor reads, our life sentence, our forecast for a less than promising, future. At that very instant sensitivities run wild. Images of disability and visions of infirmity, cast a shadow over our, already, petrified spirit. Are we built to withstand such a diagnosis? Are we equipped to weather this storm? The morning after, you are still numb. Gripped by this tragic information, you reluctantly, proceed with your day. It is so scary with so many mysteries. Treading carefully, you scrape through with a realization of achievement. Yes, you did it. Aware of the obvious challenges, you stepped up to the plate, opposing the adversary, you succeeded. This day, with its horrifying outlook, gave birth to strength. Just one day, but a milestone of magnificent courage. That day turned into that week. That week turned into that month, which transformed into that year. Each fragment, laced with phenomenal spunk and undying determination. The long hours of what ought to have been spent in fear and anticipation, becomes fleeting hours of strength and hope. I am a living, breathing witness, to this procedure. There's been days when a glimmer of promise, could not be seen in my eyes. I've misplaced my faith, clinging to uncertainty on numerous occasions. But, I am so thankful, a moment arrived, giving way to acceptance. This is that day, I seized the zealous characteristics that had been masked by MS. Here I embarked on an entirely different voyage. My destiny, a source of contentment. What mysteries has Multiple Sclerosis unveiled for me? In my search for peace, amidst this trying life-change, I've discovered many qualities and attributes, identifying me. One such trait is compassion. More and more, I am preoccupied with the pain and hurt of others. I desire so much, to speak that encouraging word, lifting the spirit of a wounded soul. It makes me so sad when I see those who are so saddened and destroyed by, the cards they were dealt. I'd like to make a difference in that life. Strength, courage, two other traits, that seemed totally out of my league. Right now I reflecting on the past four years, I am amazed at the victories I have attained. Due to the unpredictability of MS, I needed to be durable enough, to withstand whatever it threw my way. Throughout various bouts of illness, courage surfaced. As situations demanded, I was brave beyond my viewpoint of myself. It became obvious to me that an individual, is capable of the unimaginable, when survival necessitates it. I am confident. I can stand on my own two feet. Closing my Salon and ceasing my career, was a tremendous blow to my self-esteem. A person works so hard, in reaching their goals and then, poof, they are shattered. Or, at least this was my reasoning at the time. It was heartbreaking, beyond words. Because of this free time, I quickly acquired, I've been granted the chance to embrace a new vocation - writing. This has indeed become a very passionate area of my life. I am thoroughly captivated by this opportunity to share my perceptions with others. I am motivated. Multiple Sclerosis, a mysterious entity that initially cast an aura of despair, has added much to my life. Besides the improvements in me, as a person, I have connected with many people battling this disease as well. For me, these friendships, have been a means of inspiration and comfort. I am happy. God has always played a huge role in my existence. When earthly solace fails, He is always there. MS has opened my eyes to this truth. It has caused me to get a better scope on the spiritual me. This journey has increased my faith and my trust in God. I am secure. Mysteriously, MS has revealed a number of hidden characteristics in me. Never, had I dreamed this affliction to be such a blessing. More and more, I am observing new and interesting abilities. Always acknowledging Multiple Sclerosis for what it is, I am learning to look beyond the devastation, seeking the multitude of benefits, I am certain it has in store. In more ways than one, this "Mysterious" disease has developed into a "Miraculous" encounter. Written on October 26, 2002 |