When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the educational bonds which have connected them with another and to assume the powers of intellectualism that have been denied to them by this force, human decency requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to this disunion.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all students are created equal, that they are endowed by Dr. Brown with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Food, Sleep, and the pursuit of Points. That whenever any Form of Teacher becomes destructive of these privileges, it is the Right of the Students to alter or to abolish him or her, and to institute a new Teaching Method, laying its foundation on such principles as to them shall seem most likely to affect their Safety, Happiness, and Grade. The history of the present Teacher of Higher Level Spanish is a history of repeated abuses and pilfering, resulting in the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Students. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world:
She has refused to agree with basic human decency, the most wholesome and necessary for the student population.
She has endeavored to prevent the popularization of HL Spanish by dissuading potential students from taking this level of Spanish.
She has harassed our people by sending forth discouragement when they face adversity.
She has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies and personal grudges.
She has combined with others in the form of double- or triple-teams to force pessimism upon us.
She has refused to acknowledge excellence in certain individuals even after their raw manipulation of the language.
She has imposed unfair taxation on our people in the form of reading comprehensions.
She has raped the students who actually do the reading comprehensions of valuable time.
Upon the non-completion of any or all reading comprehensions, She has hence told us that we are to fail the IB exam.
She has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
She has excited domestic insurrections amongst the IB class of 2005 and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless SL Spanish students, whose known rule of warfare is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes, and conditions.
She has created a classroom environment that is unfavorable to the mental health of all students.
She has brought new meaning to the illness �Generalized Anxiety Disorder� as previously defined by the U.S. Surgeon General.
Through constant criticism and despotism, She has brought rivers of tears to students undeserving of such grief.
She has required some students to go to Denny�s in lieu of going to class. (*side note: the next Denny�s trip is on Friday if anyone else wants to come)
She has plagued class time with Paper 1s and Paper 2s.
She has irked students with the so-called use of Feng Shui, the practice of arranging students in a certain way in order to improve the �energy� of the classroom.
She has hinted to some students that they should drop out of IB.
To those who do not take the hints, She has put into motion the means to kick these students out of IB.
She has taken pleasure in giving students enough homework points to earn an 89.3% overall grade.
She has forced students to abandon the pursuit of grades and instead pick up the pursuit of Gleason Roulette Points.
She has lowered herself to talking smack about students behind their backs, only to incur their wrath via a note written at the end of a grammar test.
She deals with discouraged students in a passive aggressive manner.
She has turned a deaf ear to our anguish and cries of pain.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the HL Spanish Class of 2005, Assembled and appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do by Authority of the good People of this class, solemnly publish and declare that these Students are independent Students, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Fury, and that all scholarly connection between them and the State of Gleason is totally dissolved. As Free and Independent Students, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Students may want to do. And for the support of this Declaration, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.