Fear
Greetings all.
First, I must apologize to you all. With a few exceptions, I try to avoid sending out mailings like this unless there is a legit reason.
I have come to what I think is an epiphany and I am moved to share it with you all.
I feel that there is something that I need to share with as many people as possible in hopes that it will inspire them as much as it does me.
Nothing is asked in return from anyone except that they forgive the ramblings of my enthusiasm and that they take what I am about to share for what it is worth.
If you are at any time offended by the fact that I am wasting your time, please just hit delete and we'll pretend that this never happened.
For the rest of you that have gotten this far, please bear with me.
Fear has been much discussed of late amongst many of the pagan groups to which I belong.
For those who are surprised by that statement, allow me to clarify: I have been a practicing pagan for several years now. It is a path that I have embraced as true to my experience a while back and I will be happy to discuss that topic in detail with anyone who would like to do so at a later date, as it is peripheral to the big picture, but important to my point, as I also believe in Magick.
I'll get back to that...
For those who are still with me:
In the more recent end of my relatively short lifetime thus far, I have been regularly attending the school of life which we all must, and I feel that -- though I am in no way special or unique from a million billion others who have gone before me, nor from the vast number that will follow me -- I have had much opportunity to learn to deal with fear in my life in many situations that have forced me to grow in many ways that was not possible before these things happened.
That said:
It is my belief that fear is the antithesis of Magick.
Allow me to explain: I feel that we as humans who are not only reflections of, but a living breathing, functioning part of divine reality (again if this needs further explanation, I will be glad to elaborate later, but I need to get to my point lest I lose the entirety of my audience to boredom...) we have the ability to achieve anything that we believe that we can do.
Now, again, I must clarify... I am not silly enough to believe that I can "believe" that I can fly like Superman or something else ridiculous and expect it to happen.
Cause and effect are a reality. If I make an unrealistic or misinformed choice and expect it to come up roses, then I deserve what I get.
All that Magick is to me is the ability (science, if you will. and if you won't, then...) to know how the universe around me behaves and causing things to happen based on that information.
If you drop a penny off the side of a building it will fall. If you put a loaded gun to your head and fire...you needed more help than Magick can provide.
If I believe that I am able to accomplish anything within the bounds of the reality in which we live, that is the only thing that I need to be successful at whatever my desire is. But the kicker is that I have to want it bad enough to do it regardless of the circumstances, regardless of what people will say, regardless of what I am afraid might happen.
Magick is more than just fairy dust and a prayer to the divine. Magick is confidence in yourself, in your ability, in your power wherever that might stem from. Magick is taking nothing special and making it something wonderful be it a group of friends, a theater company, a business, a newspaper, a movie, a __________ (fill in the blank).
If I have a desire that is strong enough then I can do whatever I set my mind to.
There are hundreds of excuses for not doing the things that I desire but they all really boil down to fear.
Freud said that fear is a wish. If he's right, then fear of failure = a wish for failure = a sign of a masochistic fantasy life. Why wish for failure?
Wishes are Magick thinking, Incantations in the face of the unknown.
They chatter over and over in my head: "What if I'm wasting my time?"
"What if I die because my meds stop working?"
"What if my mother hates me because I'm gay?"
"What if people find out that I'm a dirt worshiping tree hugger [to quote a bumper sticker] and decide that I'm a demon?"
And so forth...
They stem from the desire to manage the unknown future into tangible outcomes. In the case of fear of failure, the wish is negative.
Fear of failure boils down to wishing for a negative possibility of how things work out -- if only for the sake of closure and resolution.
I have come to realize that--for me, at least -- whatever I wish for, good or bad, the future is completely unknown to me.
Failure is possible, but so are success and a million variables in between.
By "wishing" for failure I've invested myself Magickally in just one of several outcomes that are possible, if only because it seems tangible.
Failure is guaranteed if you organize yourself to fail.
The obvious question then begs, "Why put my energy there?"
Wishing may not get me there, but if I'm going to wish at all, why not wish for something good?
OK, I'm done...
I hope that the three of you who followed all of that will forgive me for wasting your valuable time.
If it will make you feel better I can make you a fabulous offer that just can't be passed up so that you feel justified in hating my Spam.
I now return you to your regular scheduled e-mail session...
NO FEAR!
F. Daniel Kent
AKA
Alpha Kitty
