*The wheels either have to be [2x14"] , [1x12" & 1x16"], or for bogus points [2x12"]
The bike has to be proper freakish
The bike has to be build either from scrap or is worth less than �20 (SHITBIKES)
The winner and what constitutes winning will be determined on the day. After drinking.
May the best twat win.
Chosen Hill was muddy. Really fucking muddy we had to 'zimmer our way up the hill slipping and sliding every foot of the way. After an hour (Though its usually a 10-min walk) we got to the top, just in time to see Gloucester's street lights flare up. It was getting dark fast. On the climb up Adz lost his flag and sissy bar from the Groovy Bitch. We all gained a couple of pounds of mud as well. Imagine walking on glass covered with thick custard.
The Decent down was fast, Disco and Adz crashed first 10ft from the top me and Shaun managed to stay on our bikes until the first serious corner. There was no suggestion of steering power, the bikes were simply sliding down in the direction our momentum and weight wanted us to go. Which was usually straight into bramble thorns. Theres this good 90m stretch downhill which is straight and steep just before you get to the farmer's field, this was bad voodoo people. It was deceptively good going until you crossed this bit of crappy clay mud and as soon as you hit it your speed either killed or accelerated you into a bush. After almost all of us bailing we got to the field. Disco passed me and headed straight down the front of the field into the boggy crop field. Shaun, myself and Adz soon followed.
At this point Shauns Chaos was absolutely fucked, the rear Shweeeeel was now popping its fake tread off and running a good inch higher than its rim although this didnt seen to affect it when it was rolling. The biggest problem for shaun was the distinct lack of bearings in his headset. He didnt even have a headset he ramped it as it was- a 1 1/8 fork in a Headsetless Frame built for a 1" steerer. The mud had now gotten ahold of Shauns whole steering arangement and had seized almost completely. My rear brake (The only one) was now under a good couple of inches of mud and my rear wheel needed de-clogging before it would spin again. Adz and Discos had better clearance .
We rejoined at the bottom on the road and headed home on the path.
After the event Shaun Ditched the Chaos in the Mooney's Church carpark. Maybe those mormons will ride it. Or burn it in fear of the devil's work.
I parked mine secretly at the back of Halfords but it was nicked by some scumbags from Coney Hill. I didnt want to keep it to be honest, im glad its servicing the community.
Disco and Adz still have theirs of which im glad because both are works of Art. Im personally planning to use a BMX frame and a 20 - 14 wheel combo in my next bike.
The next race will be big and for the Phoenix Award. Which will be a monthly title for the winner of races.
Pictures coming soon.
Room for improvement as I think if I tried to ride this it'll try to kill me via violent insertion of 700C forks.
Need to get a frame with a working BB, this one came without any BB or BB cups, just its cranks. It takes those shitty plastic shims instead of a ball bearing race or sealed unit. Gotta love that back wheel though.
16" rear wheel and 12" Schweeeeel (foam) on front
Actually rides reasonably well without any clicking, malfunctions or fuck-ups. It rides so well I called it "your mum".
It has been stolen. Scumbags.