Phoebe songs!

SMELLY CAT
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you ?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favourite pet
There may not be a bed of roses
You're no friend to those with the noses

Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you ?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

First Song we Hear by Phoebe
Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens,
bluebells and sleigh bells and- something with mittens,
La la la la...

LOVE SONG
Love is sweet as summer showers,
love is a wondrous work of
art, but your love oh your love,
your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping
on my heart. La-la-la-la-la-,
La-la-la-la...ohhh!

BLACKOUT SONG
New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me this is not at all scary
'Cos' I stay away from dairy

CHRISTMAS SONG
I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin',
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
[shakes bell] La lalala la la la la lalala la la...

MOTHER'S ASHES
My mother's ashes
Even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jar,
And sometimes when it's breezy... I feel a little sneezy
And now I-

THE SONG ABOUT THE MAN IN THE COMA
You don't have to be awake to be my man,
As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day,
There's something I have got to say

KIDS SONG
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,
and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,
you cry and you cry and you cry.
And you cry and you cry and you cry...
They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next..
la la la la la la.

SHOWER SONG
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And teggun spelled backwards is nugget.
...
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat... as needed

PHOEBE ANGRY AT CENTRAL PERK
... with the double double double-jointed boy.
Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work,
and I hate Central Perk!
You're all invited to bite me!

NEIL
There was a girl, we'll call her Betty,
and a guy let's call him Neil.
Now I can't stress this point too strongly,
this story isn't real.
Now our Neil must decide,
who will be the girl that he casts aside.
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly?
Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie?
Hemust decide,
he must decide,
even though I made him up,
HE MUST DECIDE!!!!

GRANDPARENTS
Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes,
she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
but the truth is she died and some day you will too.
La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...

THING'S YOU DON'T WANT TO DO
There'll be times when you get older
when you'll want to sleep with people
just to make them like you. . .
But don't.
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do,
everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.

BARNYARD ANIMALS
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Nooowww, chickens!

WHO MEN LIKE
Sometimes men love women,
sometimes men love men,
and then there are bisexuals,
though some just say they're kidding themselves.
la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

RATS
And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can
and the rest of the rats
played maracas.

STICKY SHOES
I stepped in something icky.
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes,
always make me smile.
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes,
next time I'll.... avoid the..... pillleeeee.

MAGICIAN BOX MIX UP
'Jingle bitch screwed me over!
Go to hell jingle whore!
Go to hell Go to hell.
Go to hell-hell-hell.'

UNDERWEAR
Crazy underwear, creepin' up my butt.
Crazy underwear, always in a rut.
Crazy under-wear-

BEDROOM COLORS
fuchsia and mauvvve.
Those are the 66 colors of my bedroommmm.

PLATTING GOATS
Platting goats are platting.
Platting down the street.
Platting goats are platting,
leaving little treats.

PAPER MACHE-MAN
And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man.
Thank you my babies.

LITTLE TARZAN
Little, tiny Tarzan,
swinging on a nose hair.
Swinging with the greatest of ease-

HOLIDAY SONG
Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap.
Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap.
Said all you need is to write them a song.
They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along.
No, don't sing along.
Monica, Monica, have a happy Chanukah.
Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross.
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy!
And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!

FETUS SONG
Are you in there little fetus?
In nine will you come great us?
I will buy you some Adidas

BLACK CURLY HAIR
I found you in my bed!
How'd you whined up there?
You are a mystery!
Little black curly hair!
Little black curly hair!
Little black,
little black,
little black, little black,
little black curly hair----

HEART ATTACK
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see-
One of them won't do it, but the second one will set you free-
Tell all your hate and anger, it's time to say good-bye-
And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die!
La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la--

Thanks to A dedicated F.R.I.E.N.D.S website

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