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| WEEK NINE: Day Sixtyfour: 2nd August 2002, 23:00hrs SECOND: LAURA 'This is big Brova, The winner of Big Brova 2002 and the winner of 70p bus fair home is... Tom'. Shrieks of delight, not only form Laura because she would soon be able to reveal the truth over raptors, but from Tom as he scooped the 70p grand prize! Laura begun running around the house and garden in a manic fashion, nothing wrong there, then, proceeding to immitate the call of a raptor. Laura's best bits aren't just made up of memories of raptor hunting! The raptor thing kicked off on day one... Laura being the first to enter was surprised to find no raptors inside, she said to Julie as she entered ' Oh, erm, there�s no raptors, thats good, I have a phobia of flying dinosaurs', Laura confided. Only, of course, for Julie to reply, 'Oh Laura... Raptors don't have wings!'. In week two Laura cried for Muffin who was shot by Tom, however her effort in the task was somewhat half-hearted. Sure she wasn't going to kill Muffin she aimed, she fired, she missed. Apparently she thought the apple tree was in the south of the garden near the bench, not at the north with the chicken coup. Week 4 saw the Julie v Karl clash of the titans for eviction. A last minuet arguement between pro winged raptors activist Laura and anti winged raptors protester Julie saw very good TV as ratings shot thorugh the roof! Julie stayed, Karl went - cue another five weeks of raptors. In week seven, to get her mind off things, Laura asked BB to provide her with books on raptors. BB provided some limited resources. Laura learn't that Raptors had existed in pre-ice age Harrow, 'I thought they were alive today' she claimed, 'Maybe they were alive back then and now' she argued. To solve the mystery she got the other housemates to work on an archeological dig in the BB garden to uncover Raptor remains... In week eight there was shock and horror! The BB lovebirds were to be split with only one to make the final week! Laura and Alex took it in thier stride with Laura trying to convince people to kick Alex out - now thats love! Alex left, Laura stayed. Finally in week nine Laura uncovered the skeleton of an apparrently winged-raptor. 'BB I have discovered the truth over raptors!', she announced. 'I need to speak to fellow associate Julie on this matter when I leave to be 100% certain, but I think we are both right and had out wires crossed', said Laura. Our best memory of Laura? Uncovering the skeleton of an un-winged raptor which she was convinced was a hoax planted by Julie. Laura ran out of the house screeching like the creatures she loves so much and made a bee-line for Julie! After whispering in her ear and a nod from Julie Laura announced, 'I have the truth over raptors!'. 'Raptors are BOTH non-winged dinosaurs, as seen in Jurrassic Park AND winged birds found nowadays!', she claimed. 'Both Julie and myself were right and wrong, it is also thought possible, although not prooved, that Julie's dinosaur raptors evolved into my modern bird raptors', she went on to say, 'Although differrent creatures, they go back through evolution and we were both talking about the same creature, but at differrent TIMES!'. She finshed off with, 'It is likely that at St. D's both versions of the animal were stalking students'. Day Sixtyfour: 2nd August 2002, 23:00hrs FIRST: TOM Tom was all-too-happy with winning. He was particuarly happy with the prize money he would win although, according to reports, he quite enjoys the mid-night stroll. He celebrated with a Tia Maria the size of a goldfish bowl and danced to the tune he requested BB to play, Ja Rule, 'Livin It Up'. This was followed by a strong pint and a brief sit down to stop the room spinning. Toms best bits have, as their lead role, Al Cohol. Tom raised eyebrows from week one when, surprised that himself didn't class as a luxury item, he brought in Gertrud. Yes she was a blow up doll! In week two Tom was involved in the famous 'Muffin shooting' and was also caught making Vodka with toilet cleaner. Tom was pleased in week two when, due to the frustration of the males in the house, well, actually the women were worse!, Big Brova gave the housemates access to the internet. Not to look at dodgy JPEG�S, but to revise for the coming 1,001 exams set by BB's very own examiner Mr Jenkins. However, these facilities were soon taken away because a mad oriental woman informed BB they had run out of print credit. In week four Jenni K was upset with Tom, the remaining ten housemates had to dress up as pop sensation Hearsay. Oh what fun, flashbacks to the first year talent show for all! The funniest part of the task being that there wasn't enough boys, so Jenny K (getting the short straw) had the joy of being the second 'Danny'. Jenny K was unhappy at Tom pointing out that she now resembled Shrek, but in all fairness, she was wearing the Danny Hearsay mask Big Brova had provided. In week seven Tom was in the world cup task. Shocked with the fact that neither France, Argentina or Italy were top ten the housemates were wondering what happened this world cup. With this in mind Tom decided he might as well pick South Korea. The others thought he was mad and should have picked Portugal. 'This is Big Brova, should you have picked Portugal you would have failed, they came 19th. South Korea, or Korean Republic came 4th. You have passed this weeks challenge'. In week eight Tom said to Matt, 'If you let me win I'll get you discount Waitrose food'. Finally in week nine, Tom breezed the final challenge. Best bit of Tom action? Making alcohol - illegal 'Stanislavskiov Vodka' in week two a near perfect 'Black Russian' cocktail in week eight. Tom left the house by strutting down the stairs - partly due to do with the fact that he couldn't walk properly anyway. He collected his 70p winnings off Sandy and, dispite this new-found wealth, he decided to walk home via South Harrow. Tom's last words of wisdom to us all, 'Time to go to the pub'. Nice one. With that Sandy closed and bolted the doors to the Big Brova house at TS1 for the last time. 'Security Tom' and the rest of the security team stepped in to gaurd the premises and the receptionists left switching off the monitors they had been watching for nine weeks. Only faint echoes in the wind could be heard, 'Now everybody, nominations at 7, we all meet at the lounge'... 'Oh well, I didn't get to wow you with my AS level french but I'm sure Ashok will'... 'Erm, I've had a bit of an acciden't'... 'You can suspend stuff more freely from the ceiling in the outside world'... 'What? Is it my wand? Or my wings? Which goes?'... 'Your all poo-heads, I want to leave!'... 'I can re-grow my beer-belly now for summer!'... 'I'm glad I'm leaving... I can go to the Oasis gig now with Jenny'... 'Shocking'... 'I am cool, Claire!'... 'I shall go and hide in Hagrids Hut'... 'I had a good few weeks stay in Maison De Big Brova'... 'I can't help it! I just arrange things! It's how I am!'... 'Raptors do not have wings!'... 'Raptors do have wings!'... 'The only way you'll beat Laura is with Geography'... 'Oh bollocks'... 'Time to go to the pub'... 'BB I have discovered the truth over raptors!'. With that the lights in the Big Brova house switched off for the last time. BIG BROVA 2002. |
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