Angelofminepart2

Angel of Mine -Part 2

� Well say something�please�� I whispered. I don�t know if she heard me but she remained silent anyway. She staggered back and sat down in her chair. She slowly began to shake her head and her lips were moving but no sound was coming out.

I didn�t know what to do. I looked at her but she was still staring at the uninteresting floor. I couldn�t stand this any longer, I turned to leave but she began to speak.

� I�I thought you were my�friend. Monica�I never expected this� I�Oh God��

An immense pain filled my heart and I ran. Ran as fast as I could to the elevator and caught the tears falling from my blind eyes. She had been my only light all these years and now she had snatched it away, blowing out the candle that burned in my heart. I staggered into the elevator and punched the button. Once the doors were closed I slid to the floor: my face hidden in my hands and my heart, exposed and beaten on the cold floor. I cried for all the things could have been and I cried for what I had just lost� my best friend. Even if she ever decided to speak to me again, we would never have that special bond, that bond that made us inseparable, that allowed us to trust each other with every aspect of our lives. The elevator stopped and a trail of mascara covered my hand as I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I choked back more tears and looked up at a large group of Agents. * God� How long have they been stood there? * I feared as I stood up and smoothed down my suit. A small female Agent ran towards me and took my arm. � Are you alright Agent Reyes? � she asked.

� I�m fine...I�m�just fine� I said, walking towards the front door. I hung my head in shame and heard them whispering about me. *Goddamn silent elevator doors�* I cursed.

The rain was pouring heavier as I pushed open the doors and stepped into the parking lot. I let the cool drops soak my hair and face. That felt good but nothing could take away the overwhelming depression I felt in my heart. On the way here I had been filled with burning passion for Dana Scully, but now all I felt was emptiness�loneliness, desperation. I needed her. I wish I could turn back the clock and just be her friend. At least then I�d still be close to her, still be the only person she trusted. How could she trust me now when I came out and said that? It shocked her�she had no idea, and yet she thought I shared all my secrets with her�It was killing me keeping this from her. 3 years. 3 years of wanting and needing. 3 years of watching and longing�knowing I had to wait. I needn�t have bothered.

I walked slowly towards my car and reached into my jacket pocket. Nothing. My keys were on my desk. There was no way I was going back in there. I turned and headed towards the exit. I�d walk. I didn�t know where but I�d walk somewhere.

Dana looked up, tears in her eyes and noticed the keys lying on Monica�s desk. She grabbed them and dashed out of the door, skidding as she went. She caught her balance and then jammed her fist against the elevator button. She stepped inside and played with the keys unconsciously. The doors closed and she leaned against the wall, resting her head on the cold metal. Tears dripped off her chin and she let them fall. Suddenly the elevator came to an abrupt stop and the doors opened. She wiped her face and tried to compose herself as two male agents stepped inside and smiled. She forced a false smile and then walked past them, her face hidden by the hair that fell forward as she lowered her head. The doors closed behind her and she dashed towards the main entrance. She stared out into the rain, scanning the car park for that familiar face, the only face she had ever fully trusted. She saw Monica�s car and flung the front door open, running towards it, hoping to catch her. She reached the car and pressed hands and face against the window. No sign of her. She stood up straight and spun round, searching the car park. Her drenched hair hung heavily around her puffy red eyes and she pulled it back off her face, her salty tears mingling with the cool rain water and dripping off the tip of her nose. She could taste the salt in her mouth as she silently cried in the middle of the deserted, soaking wet car park.

The only sounds I can hear are the rain as it pounds on the sidewalk around me and my thoughts, screaming at me, coming all at once, confusing me. How could I have been so stupid to think that she would, even could ever love me? I should have left it the way things were. Wanting from a distance�she felt comfortable with me then. Needing from a distance�she loved me as a friend. How could I have been blind to her signals? She wanted, needed my friendship�not anything more, just my trust and support as a friend. I have ruined that now. She�ll never want to see me again after today, the worst day of my entire life. I don�t even notice the road full of cars racing around on the wet, dangerous road. Car horns blare loudly around me and I am oblivious to the rest of the world; to the world that is carrying on outside my head.
I don�t know how long I have been walking for. It seems like forever. I can�t clear my head I�m so confused. I don�t know what�s right or wrong anymore. Every heartbreak
I have ever suffered has come crashing back with revenge as I walk down this deserted sidewalk. I feel so alone. The woman that was always the reason I went to work with a smile in my heart, had, in the last few hours been the demolisher of that smile, turning it upside down until it became a weight on my instrument, pulling at the strings, daring them to snap. I feared they would snap. I feared I would crush�she had crushed my world in those few moments. She didn�t have to say anything. It was the look in her eyes that had broken me. The look of distrust and disbelief, never again would I wish to see that in a person�s eyes.

My legs are so tired and so is my head. If I lay down on this sidewalk I�m sure I�d sleep�
I push my legs forward, willing myself to carry on. A car sprays rainwater all over my best suit. I curse under my breath and keep moving. My whole body is shivering; I�m freezing cold and my heart is full of anguish. I don�t know where to go. I can�t go home, and the only other person I would have gone to, never wants to see me again. I keep on walking and see a bar at the end of the street. With everything I�m feeling at the moment, I think that looks like a good place to forget about it all, at least for tonight anyway.