So everyone has bad things to say about me right now. Josh especially, but he doesn't seem to have a problem acting like my friend to my face, its the back stabbing he really loves. He never listens to my bitching, yet he calls me a bitch. Ahhh thats the kinda friend I know and love. Why is it that he tells EVERYONE of his little girlfriends that I am a bitch? Am I honestly that bad. Funny how he is the only person who thinks so. He will probably say a thing or 2 to me about how I know a lot about backstabbing, but he has no clue. He blocked me, so he doesnt really have a clue at all what happened. He never does. He just calls me a bitch and runs away. Bitch is such a degrading word. He uses it so losely with me. Second hand almost. I don't even think he realizes how much it hurts me anymore. Much like other things in his life. He doesn't realize how his actions hurt me. Its all woe is Josh. He has a girl he is into. He goes to school. Lives with people that love him. Has money. What do I have.....lets see...a mom who can't return my fuckin calls...a brother who is practically worthless...a dad who is suing my family...I am in debt 22$ cause my mom didn't put the money in my bank she said she did....and folks thats just for starters. And another thing...I like how he tells everyone they are his best friends. Megan was his best friend...I am...Justine is...damn. Hm. Only with me nowadays its always in quotes...ya know "best friends". So is it just me...or does it sound like he really doesn't wanna be my friend anymore. Is it just me...or does it sound like he doesn't respect me...or appreciate me anymore. Its also funny how he thinks hes the only one hurting. Hes allowed to run off and tell Justine everything I say about her cause he is upset, but I am not allowed to run and vent to ANYONE cause I am feeling a little hurt. Hm. Sit and think on that for a little while will ya? I also talked to Justine tonight. She is nice, didn't change my mind about her and Josh though. Thats all I got for now. New haircut as in the pic. Its a shady pic, but its a recent one none the less. Ta.
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Hey there. Updating again. I am doing ok this month. I told Jough that I would do this today though so here goes. I am inbetween classes at the moment. I have about an hour before I have to leave for physics. Its gonna suck, cause after that I have basketball. I actually stopped and considered changing my major today. I wanna be a doctor...I just...I doubt that I can get into med school, and what is a premed degree without a medical degree. Not much of a doctor huh. So I use this as like my back up, and in the meanwhile its just not...it. Not only that, but classes are harder if I go that route, and well...honestly...I need to learn to study if thats the way I wanna go. Me and Jough are doing ok. The 22nd of this month is 6 months for us. Thats semi impressive. For those of you who know me, there really is no semi to it. I am just having problems with him not bein with me right now. I dunno its so dumb. I spend a lot of time with him as it is. Its just never enough. I dunno. Maybe I am just emotional and stuff cause its that time of the month, but like. Bleh. I like cryed when he had to leave yesterday. And we just talked about the holidays, and its evidently clear to me that I am not going to get to see him much. He has to work. You may say he can blow it off but he can't. He has bills to pay. Rent, cable, food, etc. Its just like..when I go see him..I go from like Friday to Monday. I skip classes, I skip everything. I stop my life to go see him. And while I'm there he works he goes to class to do whatever. His life can't stop. Then when I don't go see him, he can only come for like a day if that. It just sucks. He isn't giving me any less in the relationship...its just...I dunno...different. And its not in my power or his to control. And I hate it. Thats really all I got for now. My dad pushed the court date back again, costing us more money. Thanks. Ta kids.