One of the foundations of the start of making fun of matt. The time when matt crossed the road. Josh, Shawn, Matt, and me, all going to McDonalds at lunch. I like to call ourselves the McDonalds gang, we go everyday to get fatter. Mike wouldnt go because hes poor. Anyway along the way to heart attack central, we have to cross a busy rode. Here's the thing about matt; hes a bit slow. Without warning I cross the street the other three guys are slow too, they don't realize whats going on, so they cross the street without even looking. Shawnster realizes i cross first, then josh, then matt in that order. They cross the street then EEEEH cars come screaching to a halt. Holy shit. It is, by far, the funniest thing I have ever seen on my life. The expressions on all three of those guys faces are priceless. Shawns face looks like a duck. When the car skidded to a halt 4 inces away from him, he looked like a pissed off duck. Meanwhile Joshes face was scared shitless. Then theres matts face. I cannot put in words how his face looks like. It was half confused, half scared, half worried, half in pain. And whats even funnier is how matt tried to deke out the car. I never saw him move so fast in my life, but it still was slow. He bounced around shifting his weight everywhere, and josh was right beside him bouncig from side to side. Shawn was just staring at the driver in the car. While all this is happening, I'm on the sidewalk, on the ground, laughing. Hopefully the pics I drew will show you how it looked like.
Now to talk about matt's face. He has a head full of hair, with 20,000 dandruff flakes falling from it. He has thick glasses, thick eyebrows. If you say somethin to him, it takes him awhile to realize whats going on. In that amount of time, his eyebrows are freaking out going up and down. His nostrils flare insanely. He can just sit there talking and his whole face and head is going crazy.
Heres one the many McDonalds stories. The usual 4 of us sitting together. At the beginning of the year, shawn and I made fun of matt a lot, more than we do now. Josh is comlaing cuz shawn doesnt do it much more but its only josh. Anyway matt gets pissed off at shawn the most. We were sitting there eating, and of course matt isn't eating. He comes and watches the rest of us eat, hoping we would give him some. So, already hes pissed. Hes sitting there with his arms crossed just staring at us eat. Shawn breaks the silence, and makes fun of matt. I forget what he said but we got a good laugh. Aftert we all stopped, Matt breathed in loud, flared his nostrils and shoved a hand in shawns face! hahaha hilarious I say. His fingers were all curled and disfigured and oh man just looked stupid. Instead of slapping or punching Shawn, he puts his hand a few centimetres from his face. When asked later, Matt replied and I quote "well I didnt wanna get charged if I hit him".
When I made fun of matt, I would talk about crazy stuff. I would just talk and say how matt would die. Oh matt crosses the road, but doesnt make it! he gets hit by a car and hes lying on the road. Then a transport comes and finishes off. Truck Driver "better make sure hes dead" and the truck back up. I say stuff like "then all of a sudden matt jumps 80 feet into the air, comes crashing down, bounces a couple times, then slides on his stomach all the way to school. The others gotta kick outta that. If you know matt looks like, just imagine him sliding around slowly. Its like he goes up to the counter to order his meal and he slides up the counter "can I have a triple quarter pounder please" then eat through his nose and slide away. Mike said outta nowhere "how would he put his clothes on? slide into them?"
When our band jams, Matt pisses me off so much. He sits across from you, staring at you the whole time. Josh also doesnt like this. His eyes and eyebrows goin crazy while hes jammin out. Then I would start playing a song, and he wouldnt know a note of it. But he would attempt to play the right thing and fail so therefore he ruins everything. I cant play a song without matt screwin it all up. Jammings fun tho. Hey matt whens the next time we jam?