Erics dad works in the military so he got posted and left. Bye bye eric.
One time I was at erics house. He was playing Red Alert (gayest game ever) and I was sitting there watching him, bored outta my mind. He created a single submarine ONE FREAKIN SUBMARINE, to attack the whole other side of the battle. It took him an hour to win the battle, using one submarine. He sat there firing one missile at a time at the extremely easy opponent, "Eric wouldnt it be a lot faster to make more submarines and more EVERYTHING?!" "SHUT UP IM CONCENTWATING!"
His dad barges throuh the door HI KIDS!!!! His head is bigger than a buffalo's. He wears a wedge, just making his head look bigger and fatter. Eric had a pretty fat head, but his dad beat him. "So Kids!!? Do you guys want ELBOW burgers or pork chops!!" Im like "wtf are elbow burgers." Eric- "elbow boogerz puhlease"
Then his dad immediately ran upstairs. He was in a happymood. Eric turns to me and makes a gesture of sucking cock, basically telling me that his dad went to suck cock. His dad falls down the stairs, all pissed off. "THERES UR GODDAMN ELBOW BURGERS YOU LITTLE SHITS!"
Eric needed an email. His dad helped him, for eric is too dumb to make one by himself. His last name is pronounced Hauck, as in HAWK. Erics dads sittin there goin HOOK HACK HOOK HAWK HUCK. ERIC HOOK THERE YA GO ERIC! I'm goin wtf? Can I leave now?
Eric always had to do the kitty letter. Everyday his dad yelled at him to "do" the kitty letter. My friends and I would make fun of him, imagining eric with his pants down to his ankles DOING the kitty litter. Then erics dad barges in of course "YOU LITTLE DUMBSHIT I"LL SHOW YA HOWS ITS DONE! RUFF! GRUNT! ERGH! GRUNT!" His cats name was onix, named after a pokemon, but eric, bein the liar that he is, says it wasnt because of the pokemon. He said his brother made up the name NEWSFLASH ERIC HAS NO BROTHER!
In class, Eric would sit there drawing the same airplane on paper every day. Exact same plane, everyday. Then he would take a metal ruler, and bang it on his head repeatedly during class. He would say something stupid like "Lowering brain power heh heh" Then the teacher would catch him off guard "Eric wtf is 2+2?" Eric- "uh...ah...hmm..ah...just a second <whips out his calculator> Im serious, he was that dumb.
Eric told me that his kidney fell out at birth. I'm laughing at him, i say "fell out? how can it fall out" Eric- "YOU IDIOT IT FAILED!" then he elbows me and leaves pissed off. Later he comes back and says "so wanna hang out tonight?"