habbo1

Welcome to the Habbo Project. The aim of the project is to try to udnerstand the crazy world that is Habbo hotel.

The Habbo Mating Program

Under the alias of "funkybuttluvin" I try to discover the mating process in Habbo Hotel.
After some research, I try to preform this Process myself. I begin where most Habbos seem to start...Marriage.

Plain and simple...

Already I have fans...Dyslexic Fans, but fans nonetheless.

However, Not all agree with my ritual's. He's a faggot anyway.

Told you so.

With my quest for marriage failed, I decided to try my own brand of dating.

What the hell does that mean? "Depends on what the fun os." Habbo Stupidity quote #1

The stupidity of this girl ceases to amaze me. She now feels sorry for me 'not being camera shy' Utterly Stupid. I leave because I feel my research cannot prosper with a test subject with such a low IQ as this.

I continue on my report on the Habbo Mating Program under the alias of gogopelvisman.
I find a room that i fear may be a peadophile outpost. I decide to investigate.

The room in question. They obviously love kids, but not in the respectful fashion. I also fear
that they may be mentally challenged, as they use a heart instead of spelling 'love', which may
be because they simply cannot spell the word. Discgraceful.

I try to gain addmission to the facility by playing the "mr. nice guy" card.

"Yes I love children..just like you, Mr. Paedophile." I later discover that the reason why noodles28 "gwives wollipop" Is that he is pretending to be a baby. This leads to suspicison
that this room may be home to a secret cult.

Another victim of the cult. However, this is the stupidest thing I have ever heard (or seen on a computer screen) and it is almost impossible to beleive that human hands typed those words. Habbo stupidity quote #2.

Unable to gain complete entry, I decide to begin the inquesition now rather than later. However, due to the field of stupidity surrounding me, no one answer, they just *give brand new teddy*. I leave, and decide never to go within 10 yards of 'Ikkle-baby-abbie' and the 'ABC daycare' ever again.

The Habbo Police Force

I decide that there must be something holding the civilazation of the Habbos together. And there is: The Habbo Police force(s). There are many of these unofficial 'help groups' around, so I just picked one at random, and decided to grade them on how good they do their job.

Their first test will be on how well they help Habbo citizens out, and how well they answer questions given to them by the needy public.

I seek out my test subjects, with an atmosphere of power and importance hanging around me like that Habbo stalker who wouldn't leave.

I get straight to the point, and begin the assesment.

I wish to know how to cyber rape. '=H' seems to find this funny, however 'Breastfed'
(He's a Mother Lover!) tells me to click the door. I nearly click the door, and realise that it
would make me leave the room. Astounded by his lack of help (and knowledge) I just wait. My logic takes over, and I realise how to do it. I leave the room to test my new ability.

2 minutes later.....

I have a customer. MWAHAHAHA!!!!

My 1337 Habbo Rape skills are surely impressing her.

My cyber oddities continue. After trying to imress her with windows, I am slapped. I decide to take it to that bald geriatric in the police station.

I tell him that about my predicement. For some reason some random guy in red answers.
I think he is another cop. I argue with him for some time. He thinks taht it was my fault.

I am slapped again. I am also called sick and psycho. However, this 'alter-ego' dude is unable to say more than 1 word in every sentence. Hobbo Stupidity #3

After that, I decide that the Habbo Police are not very helpful indeed. They did not help
me with my question, they did not help me when I reported a crime, and they did not
fulfill the #1 rule in business...the customer is always right!

Habbo Furniture

I decide to test these "Habbo's" on how far they will go for furniture. I pick a random room and ask a passing Habbo if he would like furniture. However, he turns me down.