TITLE: "Christopher Returns" AUTHOR: Bflake EMAIL ADDRESS: email20@altavista.net DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Go ahead and use it if you want. SPOILER WARNING: "Paris is Burning" RATING: PG CHARACTERS: Lorelai, Rory, Christopher CONTENT WARNING: Nothing. SUMMARY: Christopher, Rory's father, visits Stars Hollow. DISCLAIMER: The Gilmore Girls characters are owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and the WB. No copyright infringement intended. Exterior shot of Gilmore house, night. We hear a voice: RORY (off-screen) Mom! It's almost eight! CUT TO: INT. LORELAI'S BEDROOM - NIGHT LORELAI -- wearing a small t-shirt that reads: OUTWIT, OUTPLAY, OUTLAST. SURVIVOR -- ties what seems to be the last knot of a large makeshift necklace. LORELAI (yelling back) Coming, hold your horses- From downstairs we hear faintly a music score - it is the tribal theme from "Survivor." INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT LORELAI hurries faster downstairs. She sits beside RORY on the couch. We continue to hear the music, now in addition to the host's monologue: These 16 contestants will battle it out for the title of... Survivor. The music swells. We see the reflection of the television's light flash on LORELAI and RORY in the darkened living room. LORELAI (pointing proudly to her necklace) I have immunity. RORY Don't you remember the rules? No individual can receive immunity until the two tribes unite after there are only 8 people left. LORELAI Oh. (changing the subject) You know, I feel sorry for "Friends." They are going to lose a lot of viewers like us because of these guys on the Australian Outback. RORY Well, there are other shows on right now, too, you know, on other networks. There is ABC, FOX, UPN, and the WB. They are all losing ratings - in the midst of February sweeps, no less. The phone rings. LORELAI begrudgingly scoots to the phone, knowing that she will miss a few minutes of Survivor because of this untimely call. LORELAI Hello? EMILY Lorelai, regarding our dinner tomorrow night - I wanted to let you know that there will be a surprise for you and Rory. LORELAI Yeah? What is it? EMILY If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise. LORELAI Well, technically, since I now know there will be a surprise, I won't actually be surprised. My expectation of a surprise will nullify the so-called "surprise." EMILY Fine. If that's what you want... Christopher is here. LORELAI What? We stay on LORELAI's facial expression. It is an odd mixture of surprise, mild confusion, and disorientation. CUT TO: OPENING CREDITS, sung by Carole King and her daughter. Commercials for VANIQA, EXTRA POLAR ICE GUM, ALKASELTZER PLUS, MONISTAT, CLEAN AND CLEAR, AND COLGATE 2-IN-1 MOUTHWASH/TOOTHPASTE, ETC. Back to the show... EXT. STREET - STARS HOLLOW - DAY RORY is walking by herself across the street. She is wearing her Chilton school uniform. It is morning. She arrives at Luke's diner. Throughout all of this we hear La La guitar strumming music. INT. DINER - DAY RORY finds the counter and takes a seat. A cell phone rings behind her. The camera moves towards a MAN, early thirties, tall, brown hair. He is sitting at a table with a laptop and a palm pilot. He reaches for his cell phone when LUKE, from behind the counter, gets the MAN's attention and points to the NO CELL PHONES sign. The MAN says: MAN Oh, sorry. He steps outside and begins to talk on the cell phone. Throughout this, RORY has been reading a book. For some reason, she turns around and looks at the MAN through the window. An expression of wonder comes over her face. RORY (towards Luke) Luke, do you know who that is? LUKE Who? RORY Him- LUKE Who? RORY (this time bobbing her head towards the MAN outside) Him- LUKE Who? Oh, him. A pause. LUKE No. LUKE resumes writing an order on his paper pad. He then looks at the MAN again, as the MAN opens the door and returns in the diner. An expression of wonderment stretches across LUKE's face. Rory notices this. RORY Now, do you know? LUKE (after a pause) No. RORY'S face has now changed. It seems like she is painfully trying to reach into her memory for a crucial piece of information. Eyes squinting. Her body seems tense. LUKE kneels beside her. LUKE (worried, whisper) Rory, are you constipated? Diarrhea? I have some laxatives in the back-- RORY (whisper) --No. From behind RORY, the MAN approaches. MAN Rory? RORY turns her head. RORY Yes. (innocently) H...Hello. An awkward pause. LUKE (protective of RORY, towards MAN, toughly) Hey. MAN You grew like a foot from your pictures from a couple of years ago. I'm Christopher. RORY (gaining composure) Okay ... Good. An awkward pause. RORY Mine's blue. CHRISTOPHER Huh? RORY Huh? Awkward pause. RORY (leaning her head towards CHRISTOPHER's Laptop computer on his table) Mine's blue. Your's is nice, too. CHRISTOPHER Oh, thanks. You have an iBook? RORY Yes. My mom gave it to me for my birthday. (a slight pause) It has a handle. CHRISTOPHER Great. Awkward pause. The CAMERA pans back. LUKE, in the background, has been watching this. His face conveys a demeanor of scrutinization. RORY (looking at watch, getting up to leave) Well, these awkward pauses sure made the time fly by. I think I'm going to miss my bus- RORY immediately grabs her backpack and launches swiftly towards the exit. CHRISTOPHER watches her go. He looks slightly flustered. DISSOLVE TO: INT. INDEPENDENCE INN - DAY LORELAI is pacing back and forth in the kitchen. There are two CHEFS working diligently in the background. In the foreground is SOOKIE, who, while listening to LORELAI's rambling, is tasting a sauce from a pan. LORELAI (pacing) ... I mean, if he's here, what I can do? What does he want? Or maybe he doesn't have any motives for coming. (convincing herself) Yeah, maybe he just came to visit my mom and dad since they are such buddies. Yeah, maybe- SOOKIE (over-enthusiastically, giggling) --maybe he wants to taste some of that Butt Squash/Carrot that Jackson invented last week. I stuff them with a tomato and basil garlic sauce that's zesty enough, but not too zesty or,... LORELAI (suspiciously, cross-eyed) Maybe. A French gentleman in a suit, MICHEL, enters. MICHEL (in a strong French accent, obviously annoyed) Excuze me. Sorry to interrupt your important morning diatribes. But there are rowdy tourists in the lobby who keep asking for some carrot's butt. (rolls his eyeballs) Stew-pid people. SOOKIE (skipping towards the lobby) I'll take care of it! DISSOLVE TO: EXT. EDWARD AND EMILY GILMORE HOUSE - NIGHT We see an exterior shot of the Gilmore Mansion. RORY and LORELAI are standing at the doorway. They are staring at the door. RORY You know, at Luke's, I saw somebody today- LORELAI (rapid fire) Rory your father is here tonight. I don't know why he would be here. I mean, that last time he saw you was when you were still wearing diapers but... (exasperated) who knows? RORY I saw him. Today. Christopher. We talked. LORELAI seems shocked. The door opens. EMILY is the greeter, as always. She looks happy. EMILY Girls, come in. RORY (politely) Hi, Grandma. They all head towards the living room. EMILY Something to drink? LORELAI (anticipating the evening) Vodka, on the rocks. Keep them coming... RORY Coke. EMILY (continuously smiling) You know, girls. We have a visitor tonight who will be joining us for dinner. LORELAI Eminem? EMILY (puzzled) Excuse me? LORELAI (smirking) Never mind. Camera follows them as they walk into: INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT EDWARD GILMORE is holding a copy of The Financial Times while talking to CHRISTOPHER, who we recognize from the earlier scene at the Diner in the morning. He looks nervous, yet calm. Upon RORY seeing him, she tries to appear relaxed and composed, in contrast to the constipated impression from the earlier encounter. CHRISTOPHER stands up to be polite. EMILY begins the introductions: EMILY Lorelai, this is-- LORELAI (interrupting) --Christopher, I know. I think I would remember, mom, especially since... CHRISTOPHER Hello, Lorelai. Beautiful as always. Thanks for coming this evening. LORELAI (attempting to hide a blush) Well... that's for me to decide. As for the *coming,* we are obliged to by an arrangement between me and the powers that be. (dashes a look at EMILY, who is smiling) So... this is Rory. CHRISTOPHER Yeah, we've met. Hi again, Rory. RORY Hi. EDWARD Well, if the format introductions are done. Shall we have dinner? I'm starved. They all sit down. EMILY and EDWARD sit at the opposite ends of the dinner table, as usual. RORY takes her usual seat. Across from her, there are two chairs instead of the usual one. LORELAI and CHRISTOPHER sit there. There is a palpable feeling of uneasiness. Pause. EMILY (calmly, in control) Let's make a toast. Everybody holds up their glasses. EMILY (cont'd) To the continued success of Christopher's start-up. They make contact with the glasses. We hear a clink sound. LORELAI downs her vodka in one noticeably large gulp. She smiles charmingly. EMILY throws her a disapproving look. A quiet beat. FADE TO: COMMERCIALS Back to the show... INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Dinner has been eaten. CHRISTOPHER and EDWARD at one side of the room, talking business. The Gilmore girls are at the other end. LORELAI Wow... (trying to make conversation) I liked the avocado, mom. EMILY Lorelai, I think Christopher should stay at your house. LORELAI (caught by surprise) What? Why should he stay with us? Why can't he stay with you? He's already here. He knows your address. He likes talking with Dad. It makes sense. EMILY (calmly, as if she had expected this) Lorelai, Christopher is Rory's father. He should be able to see how you girls live, to meet your friends, to have a little insight as to why you refused to marry him and instead to raise Rory by yourself. LORELAI I don't believe this. He hasn't visited for thirteen years. All of a sudden he comes by and gets to live with us? What is this, the... (trying to think of an appropriate analogy, failing) The point I'm trying to make is that Rory goes to school, she is busy with schoolwork and I'm busy at work and I always try to keep things stable at home. The number two Gilmore Household Rule is that No Man Shall Sleep Over In House. It's a rule. Rules shouldn't be broken. Breaking a Rule is like hitting the Pope on the head with a vase... It's like wearing no underwear while doing the twirl, it's... EMILY Nonsense, Lorelai. He is Rory's father. He has special privileges. I'm sure an exception can be made. (still trying to convince LORELAI, turning to RORY) Rory, would it be okay with you if Christopher stayed with you for a couple of days? RORY (softly) I... I guess. If he wants to... LORELAI (to EMILY) That's not fair. Rory is the nicest kid in the world. You know she would not say 'no.' EMILY Your daughter has a voice too, Lorelai. She should be heard. LORELAI (realizing the futility of arguing further with EMILY) Fine. (pouting) But if he leaves the toilet seat up... EMILY (realizing she has won, announcing loudly) Christopher, Lorelai has been so kind to offer to take you in. (yelling to maid in other room) Sarah! Please bring Christopher's luggage to the front door. (back to LORELAI) I know this will be a good thing for you both. LORELAI shoots her an ironic look. CUT TO: INT. JEEP - NIGHT LORELAI is driving. RORY is in the passenger seat. She looks reticent. CHRISTOPHER is sitting uncomfortably, yet politely, in the storage space in the back. LORELAI Sorry again for the lack of space. I sort of bought this Jeep needing only room for two. CHRISTOPHER (graciously) That's quite all right. I'm fine. Thanks again for letting me stay with you guys. LORELAI (skeptically, to herself) 'Quite?' RORY stares straight ahead, in thought. CHRISTOPHER is amusingly trying to squeeze his leg over his elbow in an effort to become more comfortable. Quiet FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN TO: The screen is black, but we hear inaudible sounds of a voice from outside, off-screen. Sound of keys clanging. Sound of a door opening. The screen is still black. A crack of night light shows on the screen. The door opens further. A figure comes in and flicks a light switch on the wall. It reveals the Gilmore living room. INT. GILMORE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT LORELAI comes in first, followed by RORY and CHRISTOPHER, who is carrying his bags. CHRISTOPHER Nice house. (catching himself) I know that's kind of a generic thing to say, but-- LORELAI --No, that's great. (looking around) We only have two bedrooms so-- CHRISTOPHER --No problem. I'm used to sleeping on couches, if that's okay with you. LORELAI, for a second, cogitates on what 'used to sleeping on couches' means. LORELAI (snapping out of it) Yes. If you don't mind. (smiles) Rory, say goodnight to Christopher. I'm sure he's tired from the trip and wants to get some rest. RORY (obeying) Okay. CHRISTOPHER looks at some old photos on bookshelf. From his Point-Of-View: Close-up on photos. It's Rory, age 5, wearing an orange puffed up bag with holes for her legs and arms. She wears a makeshift orange pointy cone hat on her head. We realize it's a halloween costume--she's a pumpkin. Still from his P.O.V.: We pan to another photo. It's Rory, age 8, smiling proudly. She is holding up an Honor Roll certificate to the camera. It reads: (in Bold, Gold typeface) Stars Hollow Elementary School awards (in handwriting) RORY GILMORE (back to Bold typeface) for displaying Academic Excellence according... A hint of melancholy appears on CHRISTOPHER'S face. Yet it is peaceful, as though he knows he did the right thing, even though he missed his child's gradually blooming into a graceful teenager. DISSOLVE TO: INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The room is mostly dark accept for some faint moonlight from a window. CHRISTOPHER is laying horizontally on the couch, covered in a blanket. His legs stretch a foot off the end of the couch. He wakes up, rubs his eyes, and shuffles towards the hallway. He is wearing flannel pajama pants and a worn T-shirt. He sees two closed doors opposite each other. CHRISTOPHER (to himself, whisper) Which one is the bathroom? He randomly chooses one, turns the doorknob, and opens the door. From his P.O.V.: We see a bedroom, it's RORY'S BEDROOM. The room is very dark, but from blue moon light from a window, we can make out Rory, who is sound asleep. Her face is placid, still. We get a shot of CHRISTOPHER'S face. It is serene as well. A calm wave of relief washes over his face, as if he's grateful that Lorelai has done well in Rory. Yet, there is also a hint of regret... back to From his P.O.V.: Rory shifts in bed. She senses the light from the door being open. RORY (half asleep, whispering) Dad? CHRISTOPHER (quietly) Sorry, looking for the bathroom, go back to sleep. (reassuringly) It's okay. RORY No, don't go. A pause. RORY (cont'd) Come in. CHRISTOPHER (timidly) Okay. CHRISTOPHER moves four feet forward and sits down on the floor. CHRISTOPHER So... Rory, is...everything in life going... well? RORY Yeah. Pretty good. CHRISTOPHER You know... I'm going with your Grandfather to the club to play golf. Emily told me you played... so, would you like to come with us? RORY (sits up) Yeah. (making a joke) You know, my handicap is down to a 189 now. CHRISTOPHER (smiling) Wow. I have to admit I've never played golf before. That seems like a hard score to beat. RORY (small giggle) I guess. Slow FADE TO BLACK AUTHORS NOTE: A golf course is 18 holes. 189 shots means that Rory averages 10.9 shots per hole, which is pretty bad. Commercials. AUTHORS NOTE: This is the midway point of the episode, the point where some 'Friends' viewers switch their channel to the WB. If you have any suggestions or ideas for the rest of the episode, please send me an email. I will continue the story after five people email me. Please send email to: email20@altavista.net END OF PART 1 OF 2