We can make life easier if we want ,but sometimes we enjoy pain ;-)))

IF...

If I was near you now I would have hugged you and caressed you;

I would have mixed our tears together to heal our broken hearts .

If I could dial your number, I wouldn't have to suffer this much ;

I would have called you ,just to hear your voice ,even if you don't say much.

If I could knock on your door ,I would have done it ,since the first day you left me;

And threw myself in your arms , just to feel your warm heart who once loved me .

If I had  to walk miles  and climb hills to reach you, I would  have run  ;

To know only if everything is well with you ,then I would have gone.

If you gave me the opportunity to talk ,I would have asked forgiveness ;

And make promises never to hurt you again, whatever happens .

If you can hear my solitary crying ;

So much afraid to see our love and friendship dying .

If I could bring yesterday again ,I would have done all what I did with you;

I would have never erased or canceled one single act or word I said to you.

If my last breath can warm you ,I would have given it to you from my soul;

But stay with me ,don't leave me ~don't go .

If I knew that tomorrow will bring you to me ;

I would have died till tomorrow comes .

If my story with you was my last dream ;

I'll be contented that I had once  a dream with you .

If you knew how much I miss you ,you would have called me now;

You wouldn't stay thinking ,worried ,trying to keep yourself away from me .

If you heard my heart beats every moment I look at the moon;

Wanting day to pass and night to come ,just hoping you are looking at it same time.

If you knew how every word you said or wrote to me are graved in my soul ;

You would take your pen and write to me ,a word of three letters , a dot ,

or even  a sentence with no meaning at all.

If you knew how I feel lonely without you and depressed  ;

You wouldn't have left me this way ,canceled everything in a time of stress.

If you knew how days are long without you ;

You would have helped me to shorten them ,and never left me feeling so blue  .

If you knew how life is short and not worth to worry;

you would have done what you want ,realizing that you have one life to live only.

If you only knew how I 'm longing to hear your voice ,whispering my name ;

My name I once loved ,now hearing it from anyone is never the same .

If you knew how much I feel insecure now and lost without you;

You would have given me your hand, to follow you and make our love true  ;

I know that if you knew all that you wouldn't have left ;

But you think I'm better without you ;

You think I never loved and trusted you ;

And what's inside of me will be in my heart enclosed and kept .

Waiting a beam of light to come ,to enlighten my lonely nights ;

Waiting a miracle to bring you back to me ;

Hoping a time of weakness comes to you and  miss me ;

Hoping what was between us was" A FOREVER "

And forever didn't come yet neither for you nor me .

~~Gihan~~17/11/1999

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