a) i am not pathetic
AND
b)i do not have only one name...i have LOADS!!!
And for the first time ever, i will reveal them and their origins to the world! (this is very impressive and you should gasp in amazement)
i will now begin
Fagin - Perhaps the first of the many names i have accumulated over the years. Due to its immense age (about 5 years) no-one is certain about its origins, but this is MY webpage, so I will be the one telling the story.
"once upon a time, in an art lesson a long time ago, a year 5 class were drawing their face out of straight lines. "Cathy," said one young girl, by the name of Denise, "why does your picture not have any hair?" I responded to this, thus, "Cos i haven't done it yet". Then another young girl, by the name of Amelia came up and said "you look like Fagin (from the film "Oliver"). I proceeded to laugh hysterically whilst attempting to deny this. However, i was nto succesful. Many people began to call me Fagin, even though many of them had no idea why. And that, dear reader, is the origin of "Fagin".
Walking Dictionary - Due to my boff like appearance (especially when i wore glasses) and my exceptionally large vocabulary, i earned the nickname "Walking Dictionary", i think from Samantha Weston, but the original instigater is lost to the mists of time (i.e.I can't really remember who started it)
Pussy Cat/Monkey - from my parents. I don't know why so don't ask.
Cathafigalis - an amalgamation (shoved 'em together) of Cathy and Fagin. Very few people were privvy (there) for its creation, but basically this was made up in year 6 on the skiing holiday by Jenny, Aaron, and Juliet. Due to my strangeness (yes, even then i was weird) i pretended to be a strange creature, who was the main subject of a nature documentry. They would cruelly shine a torch into my eyes from the bed opposite (i really could not see, it was like being interrogated by the FBI) and would ask me questions, to which i would reply as an alien would (but strangely, in English). After many nights i was getting fairly bored with the blinding-sleep-depriving interviews, so i decided to kill Cathafigalis. I made up "the Blonkey stone" which was eventually disposed of very painfully and kept somewhere unknown for future use. It will not re-emerge until i go on anther skiing holday.
Mummy - Due to my very slightly bossy tendancies and enormous maturity, i earned the nick name Mummy on the Year 8 sailing holiday. Each morning i would yell at my other tent mates, to make sure theygot up before noon. UI was mostly sucessful. I also forced them to tidy up (i can't stand a messy tent, but my room is a different matter). And yes, Mummy DOES have bread (private joke).
Pervert - From Harriet Muray. As she was changing, she kept saying "don't look! Don't look!" This eventually pissed me off a quite substantially, so in revenge for her annoyingness i took a photograph of her. "Luckily" she was holding about 5 items of clothing over her self, so her modesty is intact. In a deep all consuming rage, she yelled "PERVERT!!!" at me. That is the origin of Pervert.
Fagin the Perverted Pagan /FPP- due to Katie's randomness (and my religious preference).
Brenda the Norwegian Blonde - Yes i AM blonde (like, totally). Only Lucy can explain the Norwegian part.
Bafta/Baratina - from my mate Helen Ray. Not very original, but i like it and its slighlty more normal than the others.
Cathy monster - a brand spanking new name, from Katie, Paul my slave, and Lucy.
