Stacey stood back and bit her lip to keep it from trembling. Why? Oh why were things so hard sometimes?
She bit down harder on the flesh and locked the scream tearing at her throat inside.
That's when the tears started popping out like diamonds on her eyelashes before bursting and sliding down her cheeks. She could feel the hot trail of the salty liquid all the way down into her darkening soul.
Forcing herself from the sight behind her, she kept her blurring gaze on the water in front of her. Why must it all hurt so much?
The torment raged on, tearing her apart. Starting first in her mind, travelling into her heart, and ripping her soul to shreds.
The pain wasn't easing, and she had to silence her gasps or deal with the consequences it would wreak. What's that old saying? You cannot strengthen the weak, by weakening the strong? Then what the hell are you trying so damn hard to do? Kill yourself off? Are you that suicidal now?
Burning the backs of her hands by using them to wipe away her tears, Stacey sniffled softly and covered her mouth the stifle her hiccups.
Holding her breath, she closed her eyes and counted to twenty to calm herself.
Sniffling again, she rubbed at her face and demanded herself to turn around again.
The sight robbed her of her breath and broke her heart that little bit more. This time she couldn't stop the strangled cry that escaped her mouth.
Quickly covering it with her hand, she watched, wild-eyed until she was sure it was safe again.
Creeping slowly and quietly, she stared down at her lover. The man, whom she ever gave a damn about, sleeping on her side of the bed again and snoring into her pillow.
The tears started slipping out past her eyes again, and she didn't rush to hide them now.
Gingerly she knelt down on the floor beside him, and smiled painstakingly.
Gently, a fragile hand touched his cheek and swiped at a lock that had fallen onto his forehead. "How am I supposed to say 'I love you', when you hear it everyday?" She whispered, so softly that she could barely hear it herself. "When a million girls scream it at you, and write it, and sing it, and believe it themselves?"
Stacey flinched at the hard truth and leaned back slightly, sighing. "How am I supposed to tell you how much I love you and get you to believe it, when you're not even sure what it is anymore?"
Her heart ached to right what had been wrong, and taken away, and downright stolen from the sensitive boy who had grown into an emotionally stingy man.
She bit her lip again as the tears came faster almost drowning her.
She pressed a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Sleep well, my love." She murmured brokenly before getting up and blindly rushing for the door.
Turning around, for one last heart-wrenching look, Stacey held her breath and watched for a long moment. "I love you, Nick. I really do."
Quietly, in the dead of night, Stacey left her lover sleeping in their bed to face the morning alone. To face the cold truth by himself once again, as he was learning he was destined to do for the rest of his life.