It�s funny, after hours of waiting for the man to wake up, I missed it. I fell asleep, and now I�ve wakened I don�t see him in his spot from before. I twist around, and something�s happened to the sky. It�s been tilted downwards, so it meets the ground a few feet away. I see myself reflected in it, looking for all the world like I am standing at my own feet.
The reflection begins to dance, and I am frozen there, on the ground, watching this amazing and horrifying spectacle. It�s rhythmic, swaying, all done with an expression of frozen terror and disgust imprinted firmly on the running-wax face. I am spellbound, in all too-literal terms. I cannot move, can barely strip my eyes from the figure in front of me.
Eyes that I realize are brown and my own, below a coffee-colored forehead and thick black hair. I am transformed, and the genius of this set of changes dawns on me. I stand, and stretch to speak to this man, this hopeless mannequin, but the mouth (as I well know, as though he�s in a suit I�ve borrowed before) can just flap uselessly. The throat tube does not connect to the mouth hole; you can feel it grind against the twisted nerves during the scream, the power of which comes from some unknown source. His eyes (what remains of them, anyway) plead, and I cannot think of a thing to say.
It is at this point that I melt away.
It is not a painless prospect, but the worst pain is that of not knowing where I will go, or what is happening. I can feel my legs dissolving, becoming part of this mucky, pore-filled ground. I can feel this happening to my groin, to my heart, and then with aching slowness, my consciousness spreads out and melds with the earth. The perfect injun-agnostic death. I can feel air, and dark and crowded spaces, and then there is nothing that I cannot feel. It is at once peaceful and soul-crushingly disappointing. In some odd way, I guess that I wanted to continue being, despite my many lectures about �you�re dead, you�re dead.� Hypocrisy loses its charm when you are losing your brain cells one by one.
And then there is nothing.