NEFESH

 

Tzadik, you were right.

I’m a lost child,

Another lost soul.

Selfish for thinking

I could reach G-d’s hand.

I’m not a Kayin and I’m not a Hevel.

I’m just another Korach,

Lost in my bad reputation.

The reputation I lost on

An unplanned dream.

They say I drift with no direction,

Just like the rebellious star

At the first hour of dawn.

I already broke all the rules

I didn’t make,

But I’m still here.

It’s amazing what solitude

Can do to you:

You start talking to angels of fire,

Messengers of the Ein Sof.

They never told me to stop.

They never tell me to stop.

They know I’m strong inside.

Life taught me how to.

I wonder sometimes

Whether Hashem minds me

Calling Him Abba.

I wonder whether I went too far.

If I were in charge

I would have it my way.

But I don’t have His Chokhmah

Or His Binah.

They tell me to close my eyes.

They put me in a trance.

I get lost in space.

But this is just my Nefesh,

The smaller light that rules the night.