Giant Robot Fight 2001's Rant Page And Nerd Fun Zone!

Welcome to yet another page of the Time Car Zone. We will soon be getting our own url, so in a month or so, all five or 6 of you who have seen our site will be able to go to www.gandhiland.com for all your gandhi or Time Car related wackiness! Until then, surf the rest of our site! I just learned how to write html code on the 17th of January, 2001! hee hee. Oh, and the music you are listening to in the background is a midi version of Spark Mandrills stage from mega man X... ahhh... if you don't hear anything, either your computer sucks too much, your connection is too slow or you have something configured wrong, and i aint helpin ya because i frankly dont know that much about html. BLAH! TIME CAR!

Did you enjoy that rather bored-looking beaver drawing that had the link to seizurebots.com? Would you like me (Giantrobotfight2001; the other author is giantrobotfight2000; he outranks me by 1) to draw more excellent cartoons of bored animals? possibly holding coffee cups or wine bottles? If you would like me to, you can do three things:

Spend hours reading up on ESP and then try to 'will' me to create more
Send a threatening e-mail to me. oh wait, never mind. if you are the kind of person to stick around this site long enough to be this far, i don't think i trust you with my e-mail address. im on to you.... >:(
Get on MTV's Jackass and reach speeds over 20 miles per hour (im not converting it to metric, ha ha) and then run over a very large speed bump, drunk hick, or off a roof top while shouting for giantrobotfight2001 to draw more of his wierd little cartoons, and i might... i just MIGHT accept your request and draw some neato cartoons of beavers or badgers or otters sitting around looking bored.

Hey! I just drew another image for my 'bored animals' series. This next one is a turtle.

Because i am a moron, you can't read mr. fury's caption, but it says "remember kids, if you want to be big and strong like me, start smoking in adolescence!"

Now, i would like to take a break from my 'how much i dont trust other people' ranting to tell you about something truly magical.

Street Fighter!

When i was at the tender age of 6, I had my first real glimpse of it. Street Fighter 2.... *swoon*.... Quite possibly the most lucrative and the most celebrated arcade fighting game ever created, this gem from the little known company called 'Capcom' was to become the model of all other successful fighting games for at least a decade. With an outstanding cast of 8 playable characters and 4 unplayable bosses, this was THE game to play if you were anybody in the early 90's.

That original cast of eight was Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li, Blanka, Zangief, Dhalsim, Guile, and E. Honda; the original Eight World Warriors. As the series progressed, the world warriors would expand to include 12, with the new editions being Fei Long, Cammy, Thunderhawk and Dee Jay; all four coming from the breakthrough Super Street Fighter 2. Yet, even after nearly 70 or 80 characters exploded into the Capcom versus fighting game universe, members of those original eight are still looked upon most fondly.

By far the most popular member of that elite group of eight was Ryu. Along with almost as popular WW (World Warrior) Ken. The two were virtually identical in body structure, in costume and moves. I suppose it could have been laziness on the part of Capcom, but it did do a wonderful job of setting up the huge rivalry between the two characters. Why Ryu pulled ahead in popularity over ken, we may never know, but i have some possible answers:

Ryu has a one-hit knockdown tatsumakisenpuukyaku (hurricane kick). This is better than ken's multiple-hit knockdown because Ken players could mistime the move and only hit 4 out of 5 possible hurricane kick hits and could then leave himself open for counterattack.
It always seemed that ryu's hadoken (fireball) was just a lot better than ken's. As time progressed, the differences were a lot greater, ryus fireball came out a lot faster than kens and set the other guy on fire if close enough and was slightly more powerful, while ken got a fire-dragon punch.
Ryu and Ken had drastically different dragon punches. While ryu's was basically vertical, kens shot out at a 60 or 50 degree angle (dernit, the metric's got to me!). Each one had weaknesses. While ryu's went vertical and had to be closer to make contact, there was less room for comeback by the other character if he missed, and it was almost the opposite for ken; he had a higher chance of making contact, but he could be punished severely after missing.
ryu has always been slightly faster than Ken, while ken is slightly stronger. I guess people just prefer finesse over brute strength. Personally, Ryu has always been my favorite because he didn't look as scruffy as ken. Just kidding (^_^), but i have always liked Ryu better.
another thing! Maybe its the storylines! While Ken went on after sf2 to get married to Eliza and have a bunch of Kids and live a normal life, Ryu became the everdrifting vagabond! Maybe it is the common street fighter 2 player's fascination with hobos, or with hobos who kick a lot of ass that draw them to Ryu. hmm....

If you want to see a little .gif animation of Ryu throwing a hadoken, click HERE

For your information, Ken is the one with the long, blond hair in the red gi and Ryu is the one in the white gi

You may actually be wondering what a 'Time Car' is, since thats the title of my page, and i mentioned a little bit about the 'Time Car' in the beginning of this page. Actually, i had no intention of making this a 'Time Car' related web-page, i just had to sub out all the anti-alan stuff on this page so i used 'Time Car'. You may be wonder just what a 'Time Car' is. Excellent. I'm sleepy. go away. Especially you, alan, oops, i mean...'Time Car'.

Since that last blurb probably didn't answer just what the time car is, it is quite obviously a car made out of time. Now you might be saying or at least wondering, "how could one make a car out of time?" easy! all you do is stick a bunch of clocks on an existing car and write 'Time Car' on the hood, slap on several hoboes and claim they are a complex, LIVING, security system! Now, you also may be wondering, "what is he talking about? thats not a car made of time, its just a car with alarm clocks on it!" Not so, my friend, See, the magic of time is held in the heart of every alarm clock ever built. This magic is imbued in these clocks with the sole purpose that one day, these clocks might come alive, endowed with the almighty power of Father Time, at which point, doomsday cultists will finally be able to poke their noses at us and say "see! We aren't THAT crazy after all! Time will Kill us! HA HA HA HA... where's that damn Kool-Aid..." and surely, you don't want these cultists to be able to waltz right into your house like the King of England.... Do you? huh? Do you!?!? DOOO YOU!!!??? Of course your response is no, thats why you must buy a time car! You may be wondering now,"Aren't these alarm clocks endowed with Time power going to enslave the human race and possibly push us to extinction?" No way! Not with a time car! If you buy a time car and make sure to drive with it every day and talk to those clocks, they will become your friends, and the deep brooding hatred for humanity that most alarm clocks have will be shed for a beautiful love for all humankind. Those clocks will become your special 'Time Warriors' once they are imbued with life and will protect you, your loved ones and maybe even family pets (if you buy a time-minivan unit or larger). So, to sum up this last rambling paragraph, remember, those alarm clocks DO hate you, and the only way you can get these mystical warriors on your side is to make sure to buy your time-car soon and befriend them... or else...

Global Time Indicator my Ass! Thats a clock i tells ya! ANd he's comin after yas!

I was just surfing over at the Gary and Mike Website today. Very cool site, check it out doos. You can download video clips, watch Gary poop and all sorts of neat stuff. oh, and the show is hysterical, too. Today's (friday)episode featured a parody of the MTV show road rules where each winnebago'n cartripper fit into one of MTV's common stereotypical character genres. There was a black comedian, an innocent virgin, an alcoholic, a girl with image problems, 'the gay guy', mike's brother and maybe someone else, im not sure. All in all a humorous episode chockfull of all the crude humor we have learned to love from such favorites as 'The Simpsons' and 'Family Guy' and maybe even 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'; there were all sorts of hidden jokes in that show. You know the famous hat throwing scene from the intro? On her deathbed, the writer for the show actually said that the hat-throwing was secretly a stab at vegetarians so well disguised that it would take three million monkeys approximately 82 billion years to decipher. And thats if those monkeys are the bright ones. If you get dumb monkeys, maybe around 150 billion years, or if you get retarded monkeys, it might even stretch to a trillion years or so. So, our plan is this: to gather as many monkeys as we can so that they, hopefully sometime soon, will be able to decipher the mystery of the mary tyler moore show's hat gag.

also, on a completely different note, i was discussing human nature with my friend Melvin in biology class the other day. I was thinking about how in our race's earlier times most humans probably acted on instinct or just basic desire to get what they wanted. If they saw an incredibly sultry member of the opposite sex, they would probably just pounce and go for it. If they saw a particular cave painting done by a really crappy cave painter, they'd laugh at it or at least throw stones and monkeys at it until the artist gets the picture. Nowadays, when we want something, we must continually think ahead and look at the consequences of our decisions. I'm not saying that is a bad thing; of course one would want to think things through before attacking the schools most vicious bully or before asking out that one really popular and very hot girl who sits across from you in English class. But soon, as our intelligence grows (if evolution is correct; which i aint sayin) wouldn't we get to the point where we would overrationalize? some people already do. They think for hours contemplating the different options, but what if the entire human race was this way? No one would be able to make decisions, human babies would be born with almost no instinct, making survival to parenthood of the utmost importance. If no one would be able to make these decisions, and our infants would seemingly be born imbeciles, whos to say that we would still be the most dominant species on earth? What if the monkeys evolve so much that eventually, they'll take their position at the top and dethrone their evil masters who had so cruelly forced their brethren to smoke cigars and ride motorcycles for our pleasure? Scary to think about. Have you ever wondered that maybe, humans could grow too smart for our own good? THat seems almost illogical, shouldn't the path to enlightenment be through a life filled with the most knowledge we can cram into our little brains? Hmm. Maybe its not. Maybe the true path to enlightenment, to save us from our own out of control intelligence is to become stupider or at least stay at the level of stupidity we are at now. I'm already getting scared at what i just wrote. I didn't plan this thing out, its just what flowed as i typed. If anyone knows me personally and had classes with me, you might think that that was a knoxish thing to do. heh.

its saturday afternoon and im sitting at my computer here trying to work on History Day... ergh.. but i just can't. its too friggin boring so i think I'll just rant to get my creative juices going. hmm. what to write about......i will write of.... hmm. stuff. bleen. zam. zorp. flim flam. zormmgoobloodxornasd bsdfapsen. im depressed because of stupid history day. BALAHAHA!! I HATE THIS PROJECT!!! BLAHAHAHAAHAH! that actually feels a wee bit better. hmm. i just want to lie around today, but the project is due in a couple of weeks and we are no where near finished. rrrrrr.... its about 1:30 so ill begin work at about 3;00 most likely. rrrrrr....rrrrr.rrrrr.r...r.r.r.r.r..r dang im angry. rrrrr. okay, i know what ill write about! Have any of you guys read the book, Ender's Game? very good book. about a kid who kills people by repeatedly kicking them in the groin. its also got some stuff about aliens and s!IM! ahh. that was going nowhere. argh. stupid project. i hate this so friggin much. i think ill go make another bored animal drawing. bye

I was just kidding about that 'me not trusting you guys' stuff. Here is my email address just in case you want to bother me or something. if you really want to talk to me about something on our site, feel free to email me, but i usually am very incoherent in emails. bleen![email protected]

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