"I'm no critic, but I know what I like."
Cling to that creaky caveat during the following reviews. And here's a couple more quick touchstones to pack in that same Armchair Critic's GPS Totebag: I hate Citizen Kane (a pretentious ponderous relic of a pre-CGI era); I don't know the cinematographer for Birth of a Nation. Subtitled movies are almost always boring, and anything before, say, 1965 presents an anachronistic cultural chasm rarely worth traversing.
Which is not to say most contemporary films create a lotta magic, either. There was nothing interesting in There's Something About Mary, an infantile exercise whose funny jokes include a guy getting his dick caught in his zipper and sperm as hair gel. Ha ha, stop it, I'm busting a gut.... Merchant-Ivory productions and all those stiff-upper-lip British character pieces put me to sleep. And Adam Sandler, fuggitaboudit.
So now that I've established broadly morose credentials as a cinematic curmudgeon � well, what's worth watching? Good movies need sincerity and authenticity to make them fly. Lofty social ambitions are not a prerequisite; think Animal House.
For GREAT movies ... any artistic power capable of moving me to tears deserves an "A" (Braveheart, E.T.). I'm in awe of a creative force able to shred my 21st-century ennui and validate that deep, sacred, secret part of my soul.
A-List comedies gotta make ya laugh out loud. Lots of comedies are cute, entertaining, delightful even (The Jerk), but most charm grins, not guffaws.
Sadly, most of the following movies are pretty bad or mediocre. A few are good, and worth watching. A rare handful are transcendent reminders that, every now and then, life is worth living.
(NOTE: Don't try to find a meaningful reason why a particular movie may not be included in these reviews � there isn't one. I watched many of these on video, some in theatres, and write my thoughts about a film when I see it: maybe already, maybe tomorrow, maybe never. It comes down to choices, chance, and what's playing on HBO or down the street at my local matinee Bijou.)