Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc .It was great." "That's great! And what was the name of the clinic? "Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it! "He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today ."The mother, more than a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." One day a bunch of workers were digging a hole. While the men were digging, there was a supervisor telling them where to dig. The men in the hole figured that the supervisor was getting paid more for doing less. They sent a worker up to ask the supervisor why this was the case. The supervisor said, "Because I'm smarter than you. That's why! "The worker argued with this man for a while. So the supervisor pulled the worker aside and brought him to a nearby telephone pole. He put his hand on the telephone pole and said, "Hit my hand. "The worker said, "Nah, I ain't gonna hit your hand!" But the supervisor insisted. So, the worker tightened his fist and tried to hit the supervisor's hand. But the supervisor pulled his hand away, and the worker hit the telephone pole with full force, causing his hand to bleed. The supervisor said, "See. That's why I'm smarter than you. "The worker went back to the hole with his bloody hand and started digging again. The other workers came up to him and asked, "What did he say?" The worker replied, "Let's put it this way..." then he paused. He looked around and said, "Well, there don't seem to be any telephone poles around here." So he put his hand in front of his face and said, "Alright, try to hit my hand.......
A journalist was assigned to the Jerusalem bureau of his newspaper. He gets an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. After several weeks he realizes that whenever he looks at the wall he sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. The journalist wondered whether there was a publishable story here. He goes down to the wall, introduces himself and says: "You come every day to the wall. What are you praying for? "The old man replies: "What am I praying for? In the morning I pray for world peace, then I pray for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a glass of tea, and I come back to the wall to pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth ."The journalist is taken by the old man's sincerity and persistence. "You mean you have been coming to the wall to pray every day for these things? "The old man nods. "How long have you been coming to the wall to pray for these things? "The old man becomes reflective and then replies: "How long? Maybe twenty, twenty-five years. "The amazed journalist finally asks: "How does it feel to come and pray every day for over 20 years for these things?" "How does it feel?" the old man replies. "It feels like I'm talking to a wall." A guy reaches out of his apartment window to see if it's raining, and a glass eye falls into his hand. He looks up and sees a woman looking down. He yells, "Is this yours? "She says, "Yes...could you please bring it up?" He goes up, walks into her apartment, hands her the eye, and she says, "I'm about to have dinner. Please join me." After dinner, she says, "Want to go to bed? "He says, "Are you this friendly to every guy you meet? "She says, "No. Only the ones who catch my eye."