Ceremony

A Rhyme to Choose the Date By

Married when the year is new, he’ll be loving, kind, and true.
When February birds do mate, you wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow you’ll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man
Marry in the month of May, and you’ll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you’ll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bread.
Woever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see.
Marry in September’s shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.

The month of May has long been considered an unlucky month to marry in, perhaps for the following reasons:

The Roman Feast of the Dead and Festival of the Goddess of Chastity were both celebrated in this month, neither of which would seem encouraging to a new couple.
The Pagan Festival of Beltane also began at the start of the summer, a festival celebrated with outdoor orgies and therefore also inappropriate for a new couple.

June is considered a lucky month to marry in:

It is named after Juno, the Roman goddess of love and marriage
The sun is often associated with fertility, making summer a seemingly good time to marry

Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday the best day of all
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday for no luck at all.

However, most couple marry on Saturday, since it ie easiest to organize a wedding taking place on the weekend.
Victorians thought the luckiest day to marry on was the groom's birthday

What Happens at a Catholic Ceremony?

Roman Catholic weddings come in two forms: weddings held within the context of Mass and weddings held outside the context of Mass. The difference between the two is the liturgy of the Eucharist.

Wedding ceremonies taking place within the context of Mass consist of the following:

Liturgy of the Word (3 readings from Scripture, a responsorial psalm and a homily, generally)

the Nuptial Rite (when you actually get married)

and the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

Wedding ceremonies taking place outside the context of Mass consist of the following:

Liturgy of the Word (2 or 3 readings from Scripture, a responsorial psalm, and a homily)

the Nuptial Rite

The law regulating liturgies in the church holds that for a wedding to take place within the context of Mass when a Catholic is marrying a non-baptized person, the permission of the local Bishop must be received.
There is a Rite for special circumstances such as when a Catholic marries a non-baptized person: During the Liturgy of the Word, the marriage text omits any reference to the marriage as a sacrament.

This is the breakdown of what exactly happens in each ceremony:

Within the Context of Mass

Outside the Context of Mass:

Entrance/Introductory Rite:

Procession
Greeting
Gathering Song
Penitential Rite
Opening Prayer

Liturgy of the Word:

First Reading (Must be from the Old Testament)
Responsorial Psalm
Second Reading (Must be from the New Testament)
Gospel Acclamation (usually sung)
Gospel Reading
Homily

The Rite of Marriage:

Questions (the priest asks the couple questions about their freedom of choice, faithfulness to each other, and acceptance and upbringing of children)
Exchange of Consent (vows)
Blessing of Rings
Exchange of Rings
General Intercessions

Liturgy of the Eucharist:

Presentation of the Gifts and Preparation of the Altar (a sung is usually sung here)
Eucharist Prayer
Sanctus (Holy Holy - usually sung)
Memorial Acclamation (usually sung)
Great Amen (usually sung)

Communion Rite:

Lord's Prayer
Nuptial Blessing
Sign of Peace
Agnus Dei (Lamb of God - usually sung)
Communion Hymn (preferably sung)

Concluding Rite:

Final Blessing
Dismissal
Introduction of the married couple
Recessional

Entrance Rite
Liturgy of the Word: 2 or 3 readings with intervening chants
Homily
Rite of Marriage
General intercessions
Nuptial Blessing
Conclusion: Lord's prayer and Final Blessings

Questions to ask your Officiant

Is s/he available on the day you've chosen, at the time you'd prefer? This is, of course, crucial.
Can the officiant travel to the site?
This is especially important if you're planning an outdoor wedding, or one in a special location like a private home or on the beach.
How long has s/he been performing wedding ceremonies?
You might also ask if there are other recently-married couples you can contact for advice, etc.
What are the fees? What is included?
Some items might include the officiant's services, use of the site, set-up and clean-up, candelabra and other decorations, program printing, musicians and/or pre-marital counseling. These may be included in one fee, or may be separate.
What type of pre-marital counseling is required, if any?
Requirements vary greatly, and can be anything from a meeting with the officiant, to a series of counseling sessions, to a weekend retreat with other engaged couples.
Does s/he have a standard ceremony? What variations can be made?
Ask if a sample ceremony is available for you to use as a guide. If you have any special verses, readings or music you would like to include in the ceremony, be sure they are acceptable to the officiant. Some churches, for example, prohibit secular music.
How long does the ceremony usually last?
This is useful when making decisions about the reception, photographer, limousine and receiving lines.
What has worked for couples in the past?
If your officiant is experienced, s/he will be able to make helpful suggestions about readings, vows, music selections and even the logistics of the wedding day.
Will s/he be available to answer questions or give advice?
Make sure you have telephone numbers, office hours and other contact information.
Can you tour the ceremony site?
You wouldn't buy a house without walking through it, so make sure you get to see the actual place the ceremony will occur. Make mental notes on the size, accessibility, and generally get a feel for the space.
How early can you be at the site, and what's the latest you can leave?
You may wish to decorate the site before the ceremony, or stay afterwards for pictures. Be sure you will have enough time for all you wish to do.
Is there a place you can get ready before the ceremony?
Even if you don't plan on dressing at the ceremony site, it's helpful to have a private room, maybe with a mirror for touching up your makeup and hair at the last minute.
Is there a place parents can take their children during the ceremony?
Kids can be restless and noisy, and having a nursery or special room available can make your ceremony more enjoyable for everyone.
Will you be able to have a photographer and/or videographer present during the ceremony?
Are there any special restrictions?
Some sites do not allow guests to throw bird seed, others prohibit flash photography. Be sure it's clear what is allowed and what is not.
When does the rehearsal take place? Will s/he be present?
Does s/he have any suggestions on vendors? When you deal with weddings frequently, you meet good florists and see the bad photographers in action.

Ceremony Processional Considerations

Do you want a traditional line-up, or a variation?
Will just the bride's father walk her down the aisle, or both parents?
Will you have an aisle runner? Who will spread the runner out and when?
Will your flower girl need guidance and coaching to get her down the aisle? Will she strew flower petals as she walks or carry a bouquet?
Will the groom and best man be waiting at the alter or will they enter with the priest? Will the groom walk down the aisle with his parents?
Will children stand with the wedding party or sit with their families during the service?
Will bridesmaids walk down the aisle single file, two by two, or paired with an usher?
Will grandparents, stepparents, or godparents be involved?

Ceremony Music Checklist

What are requirements of your church regarding appropriate music?
Must you use church musicians? What is the cost for church musicians?
May you use recorded music?
May secular love songs be used during the ceremony or must music be liturgical.
Can secular music be used during the gathering time prior to the beginning of the ceremony or after the recessional as people are leaving?
May soloists be used or are there some songs (such as Our Father) which must be sung by the community?
May outside musicians be brought in, and may they used existing sound equipment or must they bring their own equipment?
Does your church have a list of music that is acceptable for wedding?
Do you have a friend who would like to sing or perform at your ceremony?
Are there any cultural or ethnic songs that you would like to have included?
Will you be able to use a traditional wedding march or will you have to find professional music that is liturgical?
Do you prefer a soloist or small group?
What instruments do you want for your music?

Substitution to Unity Candle Ligthing

The Blessing of the Hands: A unique substitution to the unity candle lighting. Wording follows:
_______, please turn and face____, and hold his hands palms up, where you can see the gift that they are to you.
These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that hold yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.
These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within your womb.
These are the hands that look so large and clumsy, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.
These are the hands that will work long hours to earn money for you and your family.
These are the hands that will be nicked and bruised from fixing things around the house to make you more comfortable.
These are the hands that will caress your body through the years, to make the passion of love come alive in you.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief rack your mind.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your check as they raise your face to look into his eyes; eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.
____, please face _______, hold her palms up, so you may see the gift they are to you.
These are the hands hold yours on your wedding day as she gives you her pledge to love you, and accepts your ring.
These are the hands that are smooth and young and carefree now, but will be lined and rougher, working to make you comfortable.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness, disciplining them when naughty, and wringing themselves in worry when trouble comes.
These are the hands that will hold your face and wipe tears from your eyes – in wonder and awe that you would cry for her.
These are the hands that will hold you in joy, excitement and hope each time she tells you that you are to have another child; that together you have created a new life.
Perhaps these are the hands that will comfort you when you are told you cannot have a child, and will convince you that together you will create a new life in other ways.
These are the hands that through the years will caress your body in the passion of love, to enhance your intimacy.
These are the hands that will enter the Sacrament of Matrimony. These four hands will be your armor and shield against the evils and temptations of the world.
These are the hands that will reach out, first to each other, then united, will spread your love and your sacrament to all they touch.
These are the hands that will ease your parents’ loneliness as you leave the nest, will first teach your own children the marvels of married life, and will be a sign to friends and strangers alike as to just how wonderful married life can be.
Through these four hands, God will renew His Church. These hands are the hope of a troubled humanity. These are the hands that will change the world.

Unity Candle: To Extinguish or Not

This is a personal decision and entirely up to you. Many couples feel that they should extinguish the candles to symbolize their commitment to one another, while others argue that to emphasize your individuality within your union, you must leave the tapers lit.

If you choose to extinguish the tapers, consider having the officiant read this:

"As [name] and [name] together light the center candle, they will extinguish their own candles, thus letting the center candle symbolize the union of their lives. As this one light cannot be divided, neither will their lives be divided."

If you choose to keep the tapers lit, have the officiant read this:

"[name] and [name] come into their marriage relationship as individuals and they do not lose their identity, rather they use their individuality to create and strengthen the relationship of marriage. Therefore, the three candles remain lighted, one for each of them and one for their marriage, as symbols of their commitment to each other and to a lasting and loving marriage."

Alternative to Throwing Rice	Have guests blow bubbles as you leave the church: Bottles of bubbles can be wrapped in colored net or fabric and tied with a ribbon to give them a decorative look. The couple then makes their exit through a shower of bubbles that reflect the light in rainbow colors. Have guests toss rose petals as you leave. Your florist can provide you with rose petals at a minimal cost Have the guests ring bells as you leave: Small wedding bells can be passed out to each guest. Jingle bells can also be used. Tie colored ribbons or small silk flowers on the bells to make them festive. Your guests then ring the bells as you make your grand exit. If there is a church bell or carillon at your ceremony facility, this can be rung at the same time. For a little variety, perhaps your attendants could ring larger bells for a louder noise while your guests jingle the small bells. This send-off options should be permitted at any facility. Ribbon Streamers: Lengths of ribbons can be tied together, tied to a small brass or plastic ring or to stick to make streamers to wave as you leave. Ribbons can be white, or a color or colors to match your scheme. Widths can vary. Attach ribbons to rings with a larkshead knot. Origami Kites: If you like the idea of birds but have an environmental challenge with releasing doves, or don't have a budget for live animals, give each guest a kite; consisting of a stick, a string and an origami paper bird to wave as you leave the ceremony. There are books available on making paper birds. Flowers to Wave: For a romantic send off that leaves your guests with favors to remember yourspecial day , give each guest a real or silk long-stemmed flower to wave as you make your exit. Flowers can be decorated with ribbon and a printed note with your names and wedding date. Wedding Pennants: If your wedding will be an out door occasion, you might take a hint from sports events and give your guests wedding pennants to wave as you walk off into the sunset. These can be purchased from premium companies or many printers who carry specialty items. After the wedding, your guests can keep them as special personalized favors from your special day. Balloon Drop or Lift-Off: Balloon lift-offs are permitted in some areas and not in others. While it is a romantic send off, there are environmental concerns voiced by some people. Latex balloons are considered a choking problem for birds and small animals once they land back on earth again. The major culprit, however, is the ribbons used on the balloons. These can be problems for wildlife and metallic ribbons are the worst offenders. If you choose to have a balloon send-off, avoid the ribbons and fill with helium, giving one to each of your guests. Guests release, the balloons simultaneously make your exit An alternative, that is environmentally safe, would have to be an indoor balloon drop. A net is suspended from the ceiling and filled with balloons. (Don't use helium for these, they need to drop not float.) As you leave, the net is let go and balloon cascade to the floor, covering you and your guests. Guests can take balloons home with them. Blast of Trumpets or Party Horns: For something really different, have a trumpeter announce your exit or give all your guests party horns for an amusing and noisy send-off for your honeymoon. Fireworks: Elaborate yet expensive and obtaining a permit to set off fireworks may be difficult Candlelight send-off: Have each guest hold a lit candle as you make your way off. If candles are not possible because of fire regulations, use flashlights or glow-sticks Have guests release butterflies The bride and groom can release doves post-ceremony
Butterfly Release Information	Butterflies are alive when released They can safely be released outdoors anytime between April and November, weather and climate permitting Temperatures conducive to releasing the butterflies can range from 62 to 115 degrees How the butterflies are "prepared": Each butterfly is hand-fed on cotton swabs coated with sugar water. Each butterfly's wings are closed, carefully folded into a cotton triangle, and inserted into an envelope They can stay like this for up to a week When the envelope is opened, the butterfly is ready to spring free Warn guests not to open the packages until the given notice
Dove Release Information	Doves traditionally symbolize love, fidelity, peace, and prosperity. Therefore, superstition holds that if doves are seen on your wedding day, a happy home is assured. A dove release should only be performed by a professional release company that raise, train, and care for the doves properly Do not use a company that offers to mail the doves to you for a self-release The Association of White Dove Release Professionals has established a set of standards that reputable companies shoule adhere to: The release company should only use white racing homing pigeons in the release. The doves sold in pet stores should not be used in the release because they are poorly equipped to deal with the hazzards of the wild and predators Homing pigeons are related to the dove species, but are larger and are especially bred and trained to fly long distances A release should be done within 50 miles of the birds' loft The release should be done at least two hours prior to sunset, so that the birds can return to their loft before they lose their navigational skills once darkness sets in The release should not take place during inclement weather The release should be done outdoors The doves should be put on a special feeding program so as to prevent the chance of an "accident" during the release

Wedding Transportation Ideas

Rent an SUV or bus, especially if you have a large bridal party
Use a classic car. Talk to friends that may own one or contact an historical society
Arrive or leave in a hot-air balloon
Arrive on horseback. Contact local stables for availability
Arrive or leave in a golf cart
Rent a motorcycle
Arrive at the reception on a bicycle built for two
Rent a trolly if available
Shell out the money and arrive in a horse-drawn carriage

Ideas for a Customized Wedding

Consider having your bouquet made into four or five sections. Prior to the ceremony, have the maid of honor hand out sections to people who are important in your life, such as grandparents, your mother, your fiance's mother, etc. As you make your way down the aisle, collect the bunches from them to form your bouquet
If there is someone who has passed away that you would like to honor, light a remembrance candle for them, place a rose or flower on the seat that they would be sitting in, or carry their favorite flower in your bouquet
Make your wedding program detailed. Instead of just listing the members of the bridal party, write a short description introducing them and telling why they are special to you. You could also thank the members of the bridal party for participating in your big day
Make your own unity candle. Craft stores have kits to help you pour the wax into the mold for a unity candle. Another ideas is to take petals from a garden and place them in the wax as it is cooling to make the candle that much more personalized
Walk down the aisle with both parents so as to honor both of them equally