takeaway

How may you ask, do you tell the pizza man that you live the in �S� Bend of a broken toilet in a girl�s bathroom at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a place which is unseen to the Muggle eye and the location of which is unknown?

I know I said before that I don�t eat, but I have a few exceptions. I�ll eat pizza, Chinese food and chocolate ice cream. Providing the store delivers.

It is something rare in the wizarding world, but there are a few establishments that specialise in obtaining Muggle-Take-Away Food. You just need to know where to go. Upon obtaining the address of the business, whoosh yourself through the pipes to their toilet and place your order. Then whoosh yourself back to prepare for the arrival of your food. (Even though you have made the trip there, it is impossible to transport a pizza through the pipes into the bathroom without it getting soggy.)

Once everything in your bathroom is perfect, make your way to the kitchens where your delivery will have been made. The house-elves from the reputable take-away distributor will have transported your food there in no time at all. In fact, it�s like magic! Find an obliging Hogwart�s house-elf and they will bring your food to your bathroom. Be careful not to go past Dumbledore as he has a habit of confiscating my cheese and pepperoni pizza, he must be partial to them like he is to Sherbet Lemons!

After dining by yourself, as you are a ghost and receive no visitors, it is best to work off the calories you haven�t put on by eating all the greasy food. A short swim in the lake is a good idea, but on cold nights it is best to visit the Prefect�s Bathroom and take a dip in one of the nice warm baths. Especially if the good prince Harry is in it! (Note to readers: Do not do what I just suggested. Harry is mine!)

There you have it. The simple, yet complex art of getting food delivered to your toilet. Too bad I can�t even taste what I�m eating.

Ciao Bellas,

Myrtle
Xxx

N.B. I do realise that I have omitted the part where you pay for the food. I forgot to mention that you place the order directly to the House Elves, not the staff of the establishment. The house-elves are quite obliging, even if they have to iron their hands afterwards.