prefects

Greetings my friends. Why do I say that? I have no friends. You all hate Myrtle. Just because I'm dead and I wear glasses. But greetings anyway.

Now, I have already taught you how to live in a toilet, but I haven't given you any knowledge on what to do with the other pieces of bathroom apparatus. Like pipes and taps and BATHTUBS!!!!!!

Now, the pipes must be used in order to get to your desired location. Personally, I don't bother with the ordinary student bathtubs, they are uncleaned, and contain far inferior subjects of prey. Why not do as I do, and visit the perfect's bathroom. (mmmmmmm, yummy!!)

Once you get there, DO NOT, let yourself be seen. It is very disturbing for prefects of either sex to see the ghost of a glum looking girl with glasses peering out of the tap into their bath. I prefer to stay concealed in the tap where I have a better view.

I know that this may sound disgusting to some of the more conservative viewers, but when you spend your days in a toilet it is highly boring, especially when the good Prince Harry doesn't visit you anymore. I need something to rid me of my bordom.

Now, just as a little reminder, likewise with his toilet, Professor Snape's bathtub is completely out of bounds. He is so greasy that he has to wash himself in a potion that smells as foul as Uncle Vernon's socks. It is horrible, the smell will stay with you for days.

Also, Dumbledore may seem like a nice, kind man but if you disturb him and his rubber ducky, all Hell will break loose. And, as an added unbonus, he can always tell when you are lurking in the pipe, he just has this sixth sense of knowing what is going on.

Otay then, my viewers. I won't say friends anymore because you don't love me (or sign my guestbook)

Ciao,
Myrtle xxx