Double D was sitting at his desk, head buried in his hands. His hat was off, thrown quite uncharacteristically onto his bed, where it lay like a discarded crown. His hair usually bugged him, it was so long and... and pretty... but today he found he wanted to leave it down. It gave him something to hide behind.
He lifted his head and let his eyes drift to a single piece of white paper on his desk. His own neat, tiny handwriting sprawled across his vision in curving trails of blue ink.
He wasn�t sure why he�d written what he had. He was no poet. And he would never give this poem or any other to his muse even if it was perfection incarnate.
But he reread it anyway, not understanding at all why the words swam in his vision.
I Didn�t Want This
By Eddward
I didn�t want this...
To see it all end before my eyes
To watch you fall from the sky
To be scattered in the wind
To be trapped in my own sin
To hold you close and still be far
To let us both down hard
To give you up after letting you in
To shove you away though you are my twin
The grittier, dirtier part of me
The part I always wanted to be
To let you go and set you free
To know you�re never going to be with me
To break your heart as I break my own
To feel you sliding underneath my bones
To give you up and never let you see
Just what this is doing to me
To let you down by not being there
By not understanding just how much you care
It�s not as if it didn�t show
You love me too much for me not to know
To be alone, to not be with you
To let you see that I�m just a fool
I didn�t want this
I�ll never say I didn�t want you
But I didn�t want this
If only he could tell Eddy all this, if only he could apologize and beg forgiveness. If only he could retreat from this pain back into the recesses of his mind and his memories, where it was safe and he was still warm.
His head fell back to his hands, and he didn�t understand at all why soon his hands were soaked.
If only.
The Eds aren't mine or darthelwig's; however, the story and poem are mine and the icons are hers.
Rated R 'cause of other chapters.
