I knew something was wrong the instant I heard Eddy�s voice.
�I � I need...� he whispered through the phone, and my heart was suddenly beating painfully against my ribs. Before he could say another word I whispered back, �I�ll be right there.� Then he hung up.
I was out the door and running to Eddy�s house before my brain fully comprehended what I was doing.
When I finally got to his domicile I was panting, sweating, and exhausted � I have never been nor will I ever be an athlete of any kind. I knocked politely, and entered when I heard his soft (too soft; Eddy is never soft) voice call my name. What I saw when I entered his bedroom left me horrified and gasping.
Eddy was curled up in a tight ball, his perpetually pink skin suffused with an angry red flush. Upon closer inspection I could see scratches on his arms, and a bruise forming around his closed left eye. His yellow shirt hung half off his body, the tattered remains of his protection. I think I knew then what had happened, I think I knew it deep down in my quivering, aching intestines, but I didn�t want to believe it.
I closed the door firmly, then deliberately turned back to him. His eyes opened and gazed desperately at me, twin pools of misery and shame. I could see in his face that he hated me seeing him like this; I could also see that I was the only person he could allow to see him like this. At another time that amount of trust would�ve thrilled me. As it was...? That pained contradiction broke my heart.
I moved to sit on the edge of his circular bed, careful not to jostle him, or touch him just yet. First...
�Eddy?� I prodded gently. His shoulders shook, but he said nothing, only looked at me with those sad, wide, needing eyes. I reached for him, to tenderly touch his sweaty skin, but he jerked away � then grabbed my hand and for one heart-pounding minute held it to his chest like he couldn�t let me go. When he finally released me I was the one trembling.
Unable to bear his open, scrutinizing gaze I looked at him, really looked. And that was when I saw it. Blood, drying blood, on the seat of his blue pants.
I managed to swallow all the bile that rose in my throat, but only just.
When I could speak again I asked but a single question: �Who?�
He stared at me, blankly, but the look didn�t fool me for a second. He knew what I asked of him. He knew.
And when he finally managed a small, hot whisper, I knew my answer.
***
I waited for him inside his house. I knew his parents wouldn�t be home for another two hours � more than enough time if he came home soon, and I knew he would. So predictable... it would be his downfall.
He came in, slammed the door. He didn�t notice me in the shadows, lurking, biding my time. A little closer, and I�d have him. A little closer...
He was almost close enough when he saw me. I watched the surprise and confusion spread over his face as he took that last necessary step. Close enough.
�Double D...?�
With one hearty swing of the baseball bat I knocked Kevin unconscious.
***
He woke up furious. Who wouldn�t, though, when awakening bound and gagged after having been hit on the head by the neighborhood weakling? I imagine that would make anyone feel a little foul.
I watched him struggle in contemplative silence, inwardly congratulating myself on the effectiveness of using two crossed chains to pin him to his own bed. What a sight he made. What an ugly, diseased sight.
I sat on the edge of his bed, and the indention my slight weight made in the mattress pulled the chains a little tighter, bringing Kevin�s eyes to me. He growled something inarticulate behind the gag in his mouth, and I could feel my lips curving into a mirthless, cold little smile that I couldn�t contain.
Out of habit I began, �I do apologize for the abrupt accommodations, Kevin.� Apparently he remembered the last time I�d said those words to him, too, because his eyes darkened and then flashed dangerously. The sight could�ve been amusing, but I found I was very, very far from amused.
I wasn�t going to speak to him at all. I was just going to do what I came to do and be done with it, with him, but it felt so... unfinished. A lack of closure annoys me greatly. Therefore I found myself speaking to him, this once-proud bully now helpless before me, the cul-de-sac�s resident nerd, confirmed weakest of the weak.
�You raped him.� It isn�t a question.
Kevin�s usually unreadable eyes went wide with shock � but no denial. Not that I would�ve believed in it even if I had seen it in his gaze. If anyone could teach their eyes to lie it would be Kevin.
But I could see in his face that he wanted to deny it, it killed him to be unable to, and I found myself thinking, deny it and I�ll gouge out your eyeballs with prongs, don�t think that I won�t, you have no idea what I�m capable of. I didn�t realize I�d said all that aloud until I saw fear begin to form in his face. It didn�t make me proud, but I was not displeased by it, either.
It wouldn�t hurt Kevin to know a little fear � and by the time I�m through with him I intend him to be fear�s lover.
After all � he�s spent the whole of his life terrifying Ed, Eddy, and I, spreading his own brand of fear throughout the cul-de-sac. He�s been fear�s messenger-
Now it�s time he was fear�s bitch.
At that thought I smiled a little. Eddy has been rubbing off on me.
�I�d ask you why,� I muttered half to myself as I pulled on rubber gloves, �but even if I could risk you screaming I think I already know.� He glared at me then. A dark, vicious glare.
I laughed.
He looked shocked, and his shock made me laugh even harder. God, it felt good to be the one laughing at him for once, and not the other way around.
I know he thought I was becoming unhinged. But I wasn�t. Not at all.
�I know why you did what you did,� I finally said, snapping the gloves into place. �After all, what better way to make Eddy feel your power? But tell me, Kevin,� I leaned in close, staring into his eyes, �who�s got the power now?�
He didn�t say anything � how could he? But it didn�t matter. I went on as if he�d spoken.
�You couldn�t just be satisfied with tormenting us, could you? You had to go farther, to push harder. A real overachiever you are, Kevin.� I laughed bitterly. �But your unimaginative revenge for sins we never committed is the last straw. I cannot allow you to continue down this path. It ends here.�
And with that I reached into the black medical bag at my feet and pulled out my surgical instruments.
He knew, I think, what was coming. I could see him squirming, trying to get free. If this had been about vengeance I�d have felt vindicated by his obvious fear. But it wasn�t. And all I felt was numb.
�I�m sorry, Kevin,� I said, knowing I sounded anything but. �Though truly you brought this on yourself. In olden days, what I am going to do to you would be considered a just punishment for the crime you�ve committed.� I reached over and deftly undid his pants. �You understand, don�t you?�
He really fought then, but it was to no avail. I know my work. There�s no way in the world he could�ve escaped me. What needed done would be done.
I reached back into my back as I went on. �You see, Kevin, you�ve done something unforgivable, something no one can absolve you of.� I paused to look deep into his face, wanting him to understand.
�You made Eddy dirty, Kevin,� I whispered.
His eyes went wide, and I could feel him suddenly studying me, looking at me in a new light. I blushed and looked away.
I knew I�d given myself away, but that wasn�t why I�d blushed. I was remembering. Remembering sweat and skin and filth-
I found myself spilling words out of my mouth, telling him more than I�d ever told anyone.
�You can�t imagine what it�s like, being made dirty like that,� I began softly; so deceptively softly. �So dirty you can�t ever really feel clean again, so dirty that your pure parents can�t bear to look at you, can only communicate with you through sticky notes � I�m so sick of sticky notes! Glaring at me everywhere like angry, judgmental little eyes, telling me with their very existence that I�m unworthy! I even hate the color! That � yellow � drives me nuts! Sometimes I just want to rip Eddy�s shirt off and burn it, I so despise that color! And they even make me wear it, those stupid pajamas, and � and � that horrid, insipid, inescapable color that taunts me with all my failures, with all I can�t be � always reminding me that I am dirty!�
I stopped, breathless, wrapped my arms around myself when I realized I was shaking. Kevin stared at me with large, concerned eyes, but his pity moved me not at all. It changed nothing. I still had a job to do, a disease to cull.
I went back to rummaging in my bag. Finally I found what I needed, and pulled it out. Kevin stared at the needle in my hand, incomprehension evident in his blank gaze.
Not wanting to carry any more than strictly necessary I�d filled the needle with the medicine I needed while still at home. So it was a simple enough matter to recheck for air bubbles, then gently slide the needle into the skin of his inner thigh and inject the medicine into his veins.
�A localized sedative,� I explained. �Trust me, you�ll be thankful I used it.�
I looked at his face, studied that square jaw, those dull eyes. And that�s when it hit me � the real reason Kevin had done what he�d done.
�You�re jealous,� I breathed.
He jerked away from me, as much as possible, again wanting to deny, but it was too late. I knew.
�Eddy is special,� I murmured, ignoring the murderous look on Kevin�s face. �He�s always been special. And you�re just...� I trailed off, unwilling even then to be unduly cruel.
�You don�t feel like much, do you, Kevin?� I asked. �Just another jock, another suburban white boy. You�ll graduate, get a thankless job and a wife and two point five kids long before you�re ready � just like your father before you. But Eddy,� I couldn�t help smiling then, a real smile, the smile I always wear when thinking of my beloved friends.
�Eddy is special,� I repeated. �Ed is, too. That�s why you wouldn�t leave us alone. They�re special. Sarah couldn�t beat it out of Ed. And you can�t rape it out of Eddy.�
I reached over, wrenched his chin around so he had to look in my eyes.
�And you won�t ever get the chance to try to again.�
With that, I picked my scalpel up off the bed.
His eyes pleaded with me, but I ignored them. I was sure Eddy�s eyes had pleaded, had begged for mercy as Kevin brutally violated him, and gone unheeded � and for all that I told myself this was not about vengeance, I couldn�t show Kevin such kindness with the memory of Eddy�s anguish so fresh in my mind.
I pulled his pants open even farther, then wiped the area with some disinfectant � crude, but effective. I still had the scalpel in my hand; I couldn�t put it down. It had quickly become a lifeline of sorts, and I needed the cold metal between my fingers in order to do this.
Finally he was ready. I met his desperate gaze once more, and tried to give him a sweet, understanding, commiserating smile.
�I can imagine how you must feel about this, Kevin,� I whispered. �But it�s for the best of everyone, I assure you.�
With swift efficiency I castrated him.
He couldn�t feel the pain but he could feel what I�d done. I knew he was screaming behind the gag. I ignored him, focusing instead on stitching up the wound. I knew precisely what to do to take care of him, to insure that he healed perfectly. It wasn�t difficult.
When I was finished I picked up the waste � that was all I could call it, now � and deposited it in a ziplock bag I�d brought with me. I couldn�t help grinning inwardly as I put the bag away; yes, Eddy was most definitely �special� � and Kevin was not.
But that was cruel, no matter how true, and so I kept it to myself.
And really � penis jokes? I hate to sound like a snob, but I think they�re a little below me.
As I was saying, I cleaned up as much as possible, mopping up the blood and depositing the ruined rags I�d used in another ziplock bag. All these bags I put in my medical bag, so I could take them home and really dispose of them for good. I had the vat of acid all set up in my bedroom, locked up tight so that if Ed snuck in while I was away he wouldn�t accidentally get hurt � lovable oaf. For all that this was done as a quick response, I planned my work as much as possible. I always do.
Once Kevin was stitched up and fairly clean I reached back into my medical bag for the last needle. I held it up, checking for air bubbles, admiring the cool green liquid as some dribbled out of the tip when I pushed. Kevin stared, glared really, even through his tears, but there was fear behind the glare, fear within the pain. I could feel it sliding along my skin like slime. Disgusting.
I tried not to let it make me feel guilty. So he was afraid of me. It would be good for Kevin to know fear.
And unlike some of us � Eddy, for instance � Kevin wouldn�t have to live with the fear for long.
�This is a new creation of mine,� I said, moving so I had easier access to the crook of his left arm. �Another sedative, mixed with-� Here I got stuck. How to explain this in terms he�d understand?
Best to start at the beginning, I suppose.
�As you may have noticed,� I began hesitantly, �Ed has some trouble with his memory. I believe that to be the true root of his oftimes baffling behavior. As such, for years now I have been working on a � a memory serum, if you will. Something to augment the limited memory my dear friend currently possesses. With luck, this serum would help, not only Ed, but people with Alzheimer�s and-�
I broke off. I knew I was getting too far off-track, but I couldn�t help it. My inventions are my passion; I could babble about them for hours.
But I didn�t have hours. I had to get back to my explanation.
�My point is, while developing this serum I also developed another that had the exact opposite effect. It not only promotes forgetfulness, it induces it; and as far as my limited studies have shown, the process is irreversible. Whatever memories are lost will remain lost.�
He started to look absolutely terrified. Kevin really doesn�t know me at all; I could tell by his reaction.
�Don�t worry,� I said in a much harsher tone than I�d intended. �I have no desire to steal all your memory. I�m simply going to modify it a bit. I can�t have you remembering it was I who... modified your body... now can I?�
I leaned over him, stared into his red-rimmed eyes, tried to make him hear me. �But even though you won�t remember, I had to tell you. I had to tell you all of this. Because I want some part of you, no matter how buried, to know what you�ve done � to yourself. To me. And especially to Eddy.�
Lowering my eyes I whispered, �I cannot believe what you did to Eddy.�
I stuck the needle in his vein and injected him.
***
I suppose now is the part where I�m supposed to apologize. Beg for forgiveness, plead temporary insanity. But I am not crazy. And I am not sorry.
What I am is sitting on Eddy�s bed, watching him sleep. A new needle filled with the memory modifying serum is in my hand.
I could use it, now. Spare Eddy the pain and humiliation he�ll feel upon waking, take the memory of his maltreatment at Kevin�s hands away from him completely. Kevin will remember, I will remember, but I know neither of us would mention it. And Kevin will have his own issues to deal with.
But I don�t do it. I can�t. It wouldn�t be a mercy, though it would seem one at first. Mercy would be helping Eddy through this the long, difficult, and ultimately more healing way.
I put the needle in my bag and don�t think of it again.
Instead I crawl in bed beside Eddy. In his sleep he reaches for me. I let him cling, as tightly as he needs.
I may not get away with this. Someone may put it all together one day, may figure out that I am the only one with the means, the skills, and the motive to have done what was done to Kevin. But I doubt it. The sedative I gave him will keep him sleeping until late tomorrow � and by then his body will be healing all on its own. He won�t understand what happened, but his body will already have begun its natural, resilient adapting � which should serve to confuse him further.
And with luck, it will all leave him too embarrassed to mention it to anyone at all.
But whatever happens, as I stare at Eddy I know I did the right thing. I protected my own.
If Eddy ever figures it out, he�ll be proud of me.
And that thought is enough to send me into a deep, dreamless, utterly peaceful slumber.
Neither I nor darthelwig owns or profits from Ed, Edd N Eddy; the Eds belong to the Cartoon Network, not us. However, the story is mine and the icons are hers. DO NOT use without permission. Understood?
Rated R for suggested violence, suggested N/C, adult situations, and foul language. Contains slash, though not graphic slash. Still, you are warned once more.
Tales Of Woe
