BY RABBIT
DISCLAIMER: As always, characters in this story are property of WWE or themselves. I am not using them for profit, just for fun. I am sure that one or two of them don�t find this to be a problem at all, but I have to put this in as you all know. Again, no profit is being made this is purely for fun and entertainment.
RATED: PG�Just �cause���..
PREFACE: This part of the story takes place before Shawn and I leave for Texas. Shawn is still in the hospital.
Thursday morning 6AM
I had stayed at the hospital with Shawn every night since the attack on RAW. At first I stayed out of concern for him. But since my own encounter with Kane, it had been out of fear. I hated the fact that I was afraid. I had always been independent enough that fear didn�t play a part in my day to day life, but Kane had changed all of that.
Wednesday at the hospital had been hell for me. I spent the entire day in a stage of both rage and tears. Shawn didn�t know how to deal with me. I didn�t know how to deal with the situation that I was in and it was pure hell. Shawn did his best to try to soothe me, when it really should have been the other way around.
I drifted in and out of sleep Wednesday night, trying to avoid the nightmares that I knew I would have. I managed to �cat nap� part of the night, but spent a large part of it awake and staring out the window into the lights of the parking lot below. My mind wandered back to the night that Shawn and I met. He was so handsome, sitting with me out on the balcony, the moon light dancing off the pool below. I closed my eyes and pictured him sitting in front of me. We smiled and talked, laughed and whispered.
I guess I was deeper in thought than I was aware of, when a hand rested on my arm. I screamed and turned in terror. It was just the nurse, checking on Shawn. She was trying to move me to get to the monitor. Shawn bolted upright in the bed, and the nurse almost ran. My only thought when I felt the touch, was Kane. Again, he has succeeded in his plan to make me afraid. I felt like a fool standing there with tears streaming down my face, but it was uncontrollable. I apologized to the nurse and tried to stop the constant flow of tears, but I just couldn�t. I had never been one to cry much, but since Monday night, it seemed like I could do nothing else.
Shawn motioned for me to come to him. I laid on the edge of the bed and he pulled me to him, smoothing my hair with his hand. It seemed like forever before the tears finally stopped. Shawn drifted back off to sleep, and it wasn�t long before I followed him. With him, was the only place that I felt safe.
Sunlight through the window woke me. I looked up into Shawn�s blue eyes, and he smiled. �How long have you been awake?� I asked him, stretching and trying to work out the kinks in my back.
He shook his head and mouthed, �Not long�. I moved to stand and he took my hand. �You were dreaming-not good ones�. He added.
Worry filled his eyes and face. �It�s nothing.� I said, busying myself with my purse. I could feel his eyes on me. I fought the ball of ice in the pit of my stomach and told him I had to get something to drink, leaving the room.
Now I had I lied to Shawn more than once.
I went to the waiting room, paced and thought about what I had done. I had lied again. The problem was I was the world�s worst liar. I learned at a young age that I couldn�t tell a convincing lie, so it was something that I practiced not doing. Now I had done it, not once, but twice. I hated the feeling that it gave me inside.
I took a quick look in the mirror, wiped my eyes and headed back to his room. He was writing something when I went in, and so I sat down and waited. Shortly, he finished what he was writing, and handed it to me.
I know that something is wrong. I also know that you don�t want me to know what it is. That�s fine. You�re a full grown woman and a beautiful one too, might I add, and I know that when you are ready to tell me what�s wrong, you will. I�ll be here for you. That�s a given. I care about you.
I started to cry again, but continued reading.
I hate seeing you this upset. I know that asking you what�s wrong isn�t going to make you tell me. My worst fear is that when I leave this place, you won�t go with me. Please tell me that isn�t what has you so upset. We can work through anything, together.
I looked up at him, smiled and told him that I had every intention of going to Texas, and it was way too late to stop me. I stood and walked to him; I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed him on the lips. When I moved away from him, he grabbed my wrist to stop me and the pain was overwhelming. I pulled away instinctively and grabbed my arm. The look on his face was a mix of surprise and regret.
I�m sorry. He mouthed, reaching for me again.
At this point, I felt I had two options. One, I could move away from him and let him think that he had hurt me. Or two, I could go back to the only thing that made me feel safe, and take a chance on him seeing why I had pulled away. Now was decision time. I chose him. I went back to the edge of the bed and sat down. He picked up my hand and again, I pulled it away.
�I�m fine, really. Don�t worry about it.� I smiled. Three lies and I was smiling. It made me sick! I made me sick! I was a liar - something I couldn�t stand.
Then he looked down at my wrist, and saw the bruises. His expression was a series of different emotions. Anger, hurt, pain, wonder��the list was almost endless.
When I looked into his eyes, I knew that this was going to be intense.
He grabbed my hand pulling the sleeve of my sweater up. Both wrists were black and blue from the edge of my palm to half way to my elbow on both arms.
His eyes became wild and he looked at me with an expression that I couldn�t begin to describe.
�Shawn���..Stay calm. It�s not as bad as you think. They are just bruises, they�ll go away.� That was my only defense. �It�s not something that I want you to worry about. At some point, I�ll tell you everything. Just don�t ask me to tell you right now. This isn�t the time. We need to concentrate on YOU right now, not this. I�m fine.�
His face spoke volumes. �WHO?� He whispered.
�Shawn, the doc said for you to not get upset, and you are, and that isn�t what is supposed to be happening right now. Just let it go for now. I will tell you everything when you�re better.� I tried to tell him.
He grabbed my upper arms and made me look at him. �Who?� The pain from the bruises fell short of the pain in my heart, as I pulled away from him.
�Shawn, listen to me. This is not the time or the place for this conversation. There WILL be a time and place, but not here, and not now. You have to trust me that I know what I am doing. You need to concentrate on healing right now, not this. Getting you well is the only thing that matters. Just drop it for now, please?�
He sat there looking at me like I had sprouted another head, then he sat back and brooded for a while. I could feel his eyes on me from time to time, but he made no effort to acknowledge me. He was in shock. I knew that would be the reaction. But, it would keep him at bay until he could heal enough for me to feel like I could tell him the truth.
~~~<>~~~
It was mid morning on Thursday when Dr. Kyle came in and told Shawn that he had good news. The initial report was that his larynx was crushed was not entirely correct. There was damage, but he WOULD regain his voice, eventually. The MRI had shown that there were some blood clots gathered there and until the larynx healed and the blood clots dissolved, NOT to raise his voice above a whisper. After the healing process - about two to three weeks - he could start trying to talk. Dr. Kyle warned him that at first, his voice could be more �gravelly� than before, and that part might not change, but that he should be able to speak.
Again, the doctor warned against him getting upset; this caused undue strain on the still injured areas of his neck and could cause the prognosis to change for the worse. He told Shawn that he could leave as soon as the paperwork was done, and that should be just after lunch. Shawn absolutely beamed at the news that he was getting out. We were finally going to get to leave.
Shawn got up and began getting dressed, I helped him some, but it seemed like he was distant from me. I don�t know what I was expecting really, I had basically told him to keep his nose out of my business just a short time before.
Shortly after noon, the nurse came in with the release forms and we were free to go. I called a taxi and we were finally on our way, our way back to the hotel, where I had my encounter with Kane. Shawn remained very quiet and somewhat distant from me on the way back to the hotel. I knew that I had hurt him by not answering his question, but I had no choice.
Once at the hotel, I slipped my hand into his as we walked through the lobby to the elevator. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and lifted it to his lips. I knew that we were going to be okay at that point, but I knew that I had lost part of his trust by not answering him when he asked me about the bruises. He is the one who said that we could work through anything together, and this was his chance to prove it.
I knew it would be a long, long road back to the trust we once had, but we would travel it together.