Not A Word Chapters 6-10

 

Chapter 6

 

 

I opened my eyes, squinting in the sudden jab of sunlight that poured over me as he opened the trunk.

"How ya doing in there? Did you have a nice little rest?"

I couldn't answer him with the gag in my mouth, and I wouldn't have anyway. I remembered how I had wanted him to die while he was raping me that Valentine's Day eve, and I wanted him to die now as he took the knife from his belt and sliced through the ropes tying my wrists to my ankles. My body was so cramped by now...how long had we been driving?...that I wasn't even sure that I could move. Nor did I want to really; the slightest shift of my body caused my head to pound so hard it felt like someone was beating on it with a brick.

I had been more than happy to pass out again what seemed like hours earlier, and maybe it had been. Crying had only made my head hurt worse, and thoughts of Lucky only made me cry more, which only made the pain of my head unbearable...a vicious cycle I could only escape by going unconscious.

Only now awareness was back, harsh and glaring reality reflected in the dark eyes that looked down at me, filled with hate and anger and some twisted kind of lust I could never hope to understand. I tried to think of Lucky, to imagine that it was him standing there coming to rescue me, but my brain moved so sluggishly that I could barely form his name in my mind. Any panic I had felt before was replaced by a heavy lethargy I wasn't even sure I wanted to shake. I knew that I was going to die anyway, and God knew what would happen to me before I did, so perhaps it was just the best thing to go numb, stop thinking, stop feeling...just remove myself from it all and it would be over soon...

Any resolve I made was destroyed as he pulled the gag from my mouth and grabbed my arm, wrenching me with a jerk out of the trunk, banging the top of my head against the lid as he brought me to my feet. I opened my mouth to cry out, but only a soft moan escaped my lips as my legs buckled and I fell to my hands and knees, stinging the cuts on my palms, unable to control the nausea that swept through me. My face burned with humiliation and shame as I coughed and spit into the dirt, but I couldn't stop, not until there was nothing inside of me, nothing but harsh, wracking dry sobs that seemed to tear their way from the very bottom of my soul..

"Enough. God, you're pathetic." There was pure disgust in his voice as he dragged me upwards again, but I couldn't stand and only sagged limply in his grip. He cursed in exasperation and lifted me into his arms. "You puke on me and you're dead a second later," he growled.

I tucked my head down as close to my chest as I could and tried not to breathe through my nose so that I wouldn't have to smell him. He was not wearing the spicy soap that had filled my head during the rape, but even so I fancied that I could smell it, clogging my nostrils so that I wanted to be sick again. I couldn't even really see where we were; I had the impression of being surrounded by trees and green things, the woods, and then he was unlocking a door and we passed into the dark interior of a room, then another door and he was dropping me down onto a pile of dirty blankets against a wall.

"Sleep tight, little one," he said, and turned away.

I watched his retreating back through clouding eyes, too weak to even look around me. I could feel myself slipping away again, and I did not fight it.

It came back to me with a vengeance, the dream that wasn't really a dream but a replaying of the worst memory of my entire life. Me sitting young and innocent upon the park bench in my red Valentine's dress, hands reaching from behind me in the darkness to choke off my breath. I tried to fight him but there was nothing I could do, no way I had any chance against him as he pulled me backwards into the bushes. It had been a long, long time since I'd had the dream, so long that I could almost forget about it. Almost.

Usually I awoke from it gasping and fighting, but this time I only awoke with a little sob, my eyes opening wet and staring into the dim light through the small window that was too high for me to reach. I started to roll over but stopped at a warning from my splitting head. Shadows seemed to shift and move around me, drifting into the corners like dust. There was no furniture for them to hide behind, nothing but me and the blankets, the window, and a door on each end. I wondered dimly where the other one led to but made no move to find out.

"Lucky, what are you doing now?" I whispered. "Do you think that I'm dead? Or do you know? Do you know that he has me? Do you know that he took me? Are you trying to find me? I don't know how you will because I don't know where I am. But Lucky I wish...I wish you could find me. I wish this was just another bad dream and that when I woke up I'd see you there and I'd know I was okay. That's what I really wish."

Chapter 7

Lucky glanced around Elizabeth's bedroom briefly before entering. The sight of the bloody sheets made his stomach turn and he felt that he would be sick again. He had felt that way a lot since first discovering Elizabeth was gone. He remembered when he had said goodnight to Elizabeth in this very room two nights before. He remembered the way they had held each other a little longer than usual before he left. He had not wanted to leave her alone, or to leave her at all. He had wanted to stay with her, but she had insisted that she would be all right there alone. He wondered how long it was after he left before Tom came through her window, and if he had been lurking outside the whole time he was there, just waiting for him to leave. God, how he wished he could take that night back and change the outcome. He could not forgive himself for leaving her.

He walked around the room, slowly, unable to focus on much of anything, his eyes not wanting to see the blood or the signs of her obviously painful struggle. He glanced toward the window and could picture Elizabeth hearing the window open, and thinking it was him coming back to stay with her. He could imagine the horror she must have felt when she realized it was not him, but Tom. He could imagine how terrified she must have been, thinking this can not be happening again. Oh, God, what if he had raped her again? He realized he had not allowed himself to think of that possibility before now. The thought of it was just too horrible.

He stopped suddenly in the middle of the room, running his hands through his hair, resting the heels of his hands on his forehead. Luke, who had been watching him, remaining silent, finally spoke. "Lucky, what is it?"

He looked at Luke with horror in his eyes and there was desperation in his voice. "Dad, what if he raped her again? What if he made her go through that horrible ordeal again? Oh, God, I can't bear the thought of that." He felt himself breaking out in a cold sweat, his stomach roiling.

Taggert put his hand on Lucky's shoulder. "We can only pray that he hasn't done that, Lucky."

The thought of Elizabeth being raped again made him run to the bathroom, certain he would be sick this time, but he realized his stomach was empty. Had he even eaten in the past two days? He didn't think so. How could he think of eating when Elizabeth was out there, with Tom, scared and hurt, and expecting him to find her, to save her.

Instead of getting sick, he splashed cold water on his face and rested his hands on the sink, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He became aware of a familiar scent permeating his senses. What was it? It was a clean, fresh scent, so familiar. His memory took him back to the night in New York City, when they had almost made love. They were standing at the window in their room, looking down over what Elizabeth had called "our neighborhood". They were so happy that night, so full of hope and love and plans for the future. He had never felt so content as he had that night. He remembered standing behind her, his arms around her waist, his face in her hair, breathing in the sweet, clean scent of her. That was it, that was the scent in the room and looking toward the shower, he realized it was her shampoo that he was smelling..

He could barely breathe for the fear he felt for her now. He didn't even know if she was still alive but the alternative was just too unthinkable. He splashed cold water on his face again, then turned to leave the bathroom. As he turned the knob, he saw the blouse Elizabeth had been wearing the night she had been taken was hanging on the back of the door. He lifted it carefully from the hook and held it tenderly in his hands, finally turning to lean his back against the door as he covered his face with it, weeping into it as he slid to the floor.

Chapter 8

Morning was streaming through the window, and I was thinking of Lucky. I remembered when we were in New York together only a couple of months before, looking at my art school. Lucky wanted me to go there almost more than I did it seemed. I'd never had anyone be so sure that I could do something so well, including myself. Not me, not Elizabeth Webber. Not until Lucky, with his bright blue eyes and his soft voice and his tousled hair and his love. Oh, his love.

I remembered that I was standing at the window in our hotel room, looking out at the city and the life bustling below us. It had all seemed so far away; the world then was really only Lucky and me alone together. No one else existed but the two of us. Lucky was still talking about everyday things like food and carriage rides and the art school, but he didn't know that I wasn't even thinking of those things. I was only thinking of him, and how I loved him so much, and how I'd been feeling the last few days, knowing that I wanted him, that I was ready for him. But it wasn't easy; I was not a normal girl who could just know something like that and act upon it. Even though I loved him more than my very own life, I had to think about it. I had to turn it over and over in my mind…was I ready? Was the dark monster of my past at last destroyed? I had thought so. Oh yes, I had thought so all right. As I took Lucky in my arms and kissed him, I knew that I was free from all of the shadows, that my future was here and now, solid and warm and real. And safe. Above all, when I was with Lucky I was safe.

I buried my face in the blankets, unable to control the sobs that pushed their way from my throat. I knew the truth now. There was no safety in this world.

Lucky was lying against the back of the couch at his mother's house. When he and Luke left Elizabeth's room he told Luke he wanted to see his mother. He wanted to be the one to tell her about Elizabeth in case she hadn't already heard. He went there but did not find her at home. He wandered around the house for awhile, not knowing what to do with himself, sick with worry and completely exhausted from not sleeping for the past few days. Finally he slumped onto the couch and leaned his head against the back and finally fell asleep. But his sleep was fitful, dreams of Elizabeth clouding his subconscious. He awoke in a cold sweat sometime later and looked at the clock. It was only 8:00 a.m. and the sun was coming up.

He wondered where Elizabeth was, wondered if she could see the sun. He was still groggy and his thoughts wandered to the night they had spent in New York City. He remembered how they had walked around the city, eating and laughing and making plans for the future, but his thoughts were on something else. Before they had left Port Charles he thought that they might finally make love that night. He thought they were both ready for it and he remembered being nervous, thinking of being with her that way, wanting her so badly, and wondering if she felt the same. He remembered that he had nearly lost his nerve about approaching the subject when he had turned to get the blankets to make up his bed on the floor. And he remembered his shock and surprise when she grabbed his hand and pulled him to her to kiss him. A kiss that told him that she was ready, that she had been thinking the same thing.

They began to make love, but soon realized that the time wasn't right, that their first time could not be in a hotel room in New York City. He remembered lying beside her, holding her, barely able to breathe from wanting her but feeling relieved, yet disappointed, that it was not to be that night.

He dozed off again, thinking about Elizabeth and how happy they were that night and praying that they would have another chance to be together the way they both wanted. He awoke with a start and saw Laura standing over him calling his name. He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Mom..."

"Lucky? What's wrong?"

I sat up slowly because my head still hurt so badly. I sniffled and wiped my eyes and nose and looked around me, as if anything would have changed since I'd been in here. Carefully I got to me feet, unsure if my legs would even hold me up. They shook, but I did not fall, and I began to make my way unsteadily towards the door at the other end of the room. I knew instinctively that the one he had brought me through would be locked so I didn't even bother.

I tried the knob and found myself in a small bathroom with a not very clean shower and toilet, which I used after locking the door behind me. Nothing else was in there except a roll of toilet paper and a bar of soap. At the sink afterwards I looked into the mirror and my heart sank. With trembling fingers I reached up and lightly touched the matted blood and hair above my right temple. The blow had split the skin and dried blood was crusted around my ear and down my cheek and neck; the bruise crept from my temple to my cheekbone, dark and savage. I remembered looking in the mirror after he had raped me, at my cuts and bruises, but most of all I remembered my eyes. Then they had been hollow and empty, yet at the same time filled with complete and utter devastation. I looked into them now, and I shuddered at what I saw. They were the eyes of a girl who had had the future stolen from her, who had once beaten back the darkness only to have it enshroud her again, this time more completely than ever before. This time there would be no way out, no Lucky to pick me up and lead me back to the light. They were the eyes of a girl who had lost.

Sickened, I turned away and began to remove the T-shirt and pajama bottoms I'd been wearing for how long now, moving carefully because of the cuts on my hands. I should have known that showers didn't fix things, but I had washed the filth of him from me before, and now I would do it again. It was a different kind of filth, but still him all the same. His hands, his looks, his voice, his smell...all of these had touched me and marked me, and like before I would do anything I could to get them off of me, even though I knew there would be more of him...so much more that I could not even allow myself to think about.

I felt weak and insubstantial as I turned on the water scalding hot and stepped into it with a wince, clutching the bar of soap in my hand. To be clean. For a moment I only stood there, letting the steaming water pour over me, my eyes closed. In the darkness behind my lids I could see his face and his leering grin looming before me; startled, I opened my eyes and stared numbly at the soap in my hands.

"I won't think of him right now, I won't. Lucky. I want to think of Lucky. Think of something good, Liz. Something good..."

***

We were sitting in Gram's living room watching a movie four days before when the doorbell rang. I got up slowly and answered it, unwilling to leave the warmth of Lucky's side.

"What is it, Elizabeth?" He asked from the couch as I thanked the postman and turned to him, gripping the huge package in my hands so tightly that my fingers hurt. My stomach had bottomed out and my palms were sweaty; I nearly choked on my heart as I answered him, my voice faltering.

"I think...I think it's my stuff from the art school."

"Hey!" He jumped up, a huge grin on his face, his eyes sparkling the way I loved so much. He bounded over to where I stood on the landing, dazed and frightened. "Come on, aren't you going to open it?" He looked at me then put his hands on my shoulders and peered into my eyes. "Elizabeth, are you okay?"

I tried to smile but didn't quite make it. "I guess I'm...I'm more nervous than I thought. Lucky, what if I didn't get in? What if there's a rejection letter in here?"

"There won't be. But how are you going to know if you don't open it?"

"I can't. You do it." I tried to thrust the package at him but he pushed it gently back to me.

"Elizabeth..." He lifted an eyebrow and tried to look stern; failing that, he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "It's okay, just open it," he whispered.

I walked past him and sat down on the sofa, the box between my knees. Lucky came to sit beside me and waited quietly as my unsteady hands pried the lid open. I reached in and pulled out my paintings slowly one by one. They were either my ticket to a dream life or a symbol of my failure, and I could barely look at them. At last they were all out and nothing was left inside except for an envelope at the very bottom. I sat still. Lucky nudged me with his elbow.

"Okay okay." I lifted it out and held it before me. Never in my life had such a small thing meant so much, or held so much inside of it. I glanced at Lucky and he nodded.

"Just do it."

I tore into it quickly, suddenly wanting nothing more than to get it over with. I stared at the letter, my hands shaking so badly by now that I could barely read it. Once I was done it slipped from my fingers and fluttered to the floor.

"Oh God." Lucky bent to pick it up. There was a pause and then his joyous shout filled the entire room. "You're in! Elizabeth, you're in!" He hugged me tightly but I was still only sitting there, gazing blankly into space. He pulled away. "What's the matter? You're in, Elizabeth. The school, New York...it's real! It's ours!

"I know, I just...I can't believe it. I've been worrying and hoping and praying for so long..." My voice faltered and I dropped my face into my hands.

"Oh sweetheart." His arms were around my shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I lifted my head and looked at him, grinning through my tears. "I'm just so happy and relieved and I love you so much." I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips.

"Want to celebrate?" He asked after a moment.

"Uh huh."

He smiled and brushed the happy tears from my cheeks with the side of his hand. "What do you want to do?"

"Start shopping for our apartment?"

"And how about some new art supplies?"

"Okay!" I took his hands and stood up, pulling him to me. As our lips met once again, I wondered how I had ever lived a moment without him, and how my life had suddenly become so perfect.

***

I was crying again as I turned off the shower, and only then did I realize there were no towels. I picked up my T-shirt from the floor and dried off with it as best I could, then pulled it over my head and put on the rest of my clothes, hardly caring that they weren't clean, or that my hair was sopping wet. Trying to catch my breath, I passed the mirror without even looking into it; I just wanted to go lie down and lose myself in sleep. I opened the bathroom door and gasped when I saw him standing before me.

"Feel better?"

"Mom, sit down."

"Lucky, I've never seen you look so upset. What's happened?"

"It's Elizabeth. I didn't want you to hear it from someone else. Tom Baker got out of jail two days ago. He kidnapped Elizabeth."

"What?"

"He went through her bedroom window and took her. She was alone that night; Audrey was away. When Elizabeth didn't show up at school two days ago, I went over there when I got out to see if she was okay. I had to go through the window myself when she didn't answer the door. Mom, there was blood all over her room."

"Lucky, my God. My God. Poor Elizabeth. Have they gotten any clues as to where he's taken her?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Detective Taggert is working really hard though. You know, he always liked Elizabeth. I'll never forget how he treated her after she was raped. He was always really gentle with her."

"I know, I remember, and it's good that he's working on it. He'll find her, Lucky. I know he will." She put her hand on his face. "Are you all right? You look like you haven't slept."

"I did, a little. The hardest part is not being able to do anything. Mom, I don't even know if she's still alive. God, I can't bear to think of what he could be doing to her. And I can't forgive myself for not staying with her that night. "

"Lucky, you can't blame yourself. How could you have known? And we just have to believe that she's okay. She's a very strong girl, you know."

He nodded and stood up, pacing the room. "But she doesn't know it, Mom. Do you know she was accepted to art school?

Laura smiled. "Lucky, that's wonderful."

"She found out just a few days ago. I was with her when she got the letter. She was so happy, we were so happy. Our future was set, Mom. We were going to move to Manhattan and be together always." He stopped and rubbed his eyes, trying to stop the constant threat of tears. He looked at Laura and said, "She was afraid to open the letter you know; see, she still doesn't trust her own abilities"

Laura got up and went to him, putting her hands on his face. "Lucky, you're the one who helped her get strong. She'll think of you and that's what will get her through this. She'll feel your love."

"Is that how it was with you and Dad?"

She smiled, wistfully, remembering how thoughts of Luke had always helped her through difficult times. "Yes, Lucky, that's how it was with us."

"Mom, I just want to find her."

"I know, honey, I know." She pulled him close, knowing that there was really no comforting him now, not until Elizabeth was safely back home with him.

"I see you decided to clean yourself up for me," he said with a grin.

"Leave me alone."

He was at my side in a second, pinching my arm in his powerful grip. "Don't you talk to me like that," he hissed. "You always did think you were some hot shot little bitch, didn't you? Remember when you came to talk to me in jail? You thought you were so strong and you thought you'd show me. But I made you run out of that room like the frightened little rabbit you really are."

I didn't think, I just lashed out at him, my fist smacking him just below his right eye. He stiffened in anger and spun me around, shoving me down onto the pile of blankets, his heavy body on top of me, my face muffled in the cloth so that I could not breathe. This is it, I'm going to die, I thought as my lungs spasmed with emptiness and stars began to form behind my eyes. But then he was turning me over, his hands tugging at my pajama bottoms, and the reality of what he was about to do struck me harder that the handle of his knife..

You're not really surprised are you? some tiny, distant part of my brain asked. You knew it was inevitable didn't you? Did you really think he would take you and not rape you again? He did it once when he didn't even know who you were; now he knows and he hates you and he has you and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I know you want to scream, I know you want to hit and kick and fight him, but don't, Elizabeth. You're not strong enough and it will only make him angry and he'll hurt you even more and it won't make him stop and it won't make him not do it again. Just lie here and be quiet and let him do it and maybe when he's done he'll go away and at least leave you alone for a little while.

"God dammit!"

I came back to myself suddenly and realized that he was backing away from me and zipping up his pants, so enraged that his face was full of dark purple blood and his eyes were nearly bugging out of his head. He got to his feet and stumbled from the room, slamming the door behind him so hard that the walls shook. I lay there blinking in total amazement and shock, too dazed for a moment to even move. He hadn't done it; most importantly, he hadn't been able to do it.

I clapped my hand over my mouth as a sudden urge to laugh aloud bubbled up inside of me so that I was nearly breathless as I pulled my underwear and pajamas back on. I felt as though chains were dropping away from me, and I giggled at the sensation of freedom, at the lifting of the darkness. He had no more power over me; he was nothing more than a big bully who got his strength and sense of power from hurting women. But not me. Not me anymore. He had hurt me once more than anyone ever had; he had changed my entire life, he had changed my personality. But I knew that he would never be able to do anything to me again. Maybe he would hurt me physically some more, maybe he would even kill me, but I no longer felt any fear.

I looked up when he stormed back into the room and strode over to me, pulling me to my feet in one fluid motion and dragging me into the other room, and I fought the urge to laugh in his face the whole time. Instead of seeming the menacing dictator of my subconscious, or the storybook monster with the power to kill happiness and destroy dreams in a single blow, he was nothing.

He slammed me down into a chair and began to tie my arms behind me with a rope. I could feel the words crowding in my throat, words begging for release, words that would probably kill me, but I no longer cared.

"What's the matter, Tom, didn't your mother love you when you were a little boy? Didn't anyone love you? I guess not, and that's why you're such a big, stupid nothing who's so mad at the world that the only way he can make himself feel like he's worth anything is to hurt people. But you're not, you're not worth anything, not a single thing, and you can't even--"

"Shutup!"

The back of his hand caught me across the mouth, snapping my head to the side and sending shooting pain throughout my entire upper body. I could taste blood, could feel it dripping down my chin, but I was hot and burning with triumph as I looked up at him from beneath my hair and smiled at him anyway.

"You think you're going to destroy me, don't you? You think you can control me but you can't anymore. I know your secrets. And I've known more love and beauty in the past year than you'll ever know in your entire, pathetic, miserable life!"

"Oh yes, let's talk about that, shall we?" He said, kneeling down before me. "Your love. What's his name...Lucky? Kind of ironic really." He reached into his belt and held the knife up before me so that I could see its tip, gleaming and sharp. "He loves you doesn't he? More than life itself, I'll bet. I watched you that night. I saw him kiss you when he climbed out of your window, and I saw that dreamy look you had on your face as you watched him leave. Just about broke my heart, it was so sweet. I almost hate to do what I'm going to do, but some things just need to be done." He paused and seemed to be waiting for me to say something, and when I only glared at him he shrugged and continued. "So your boyfriend, Lucky, he really loves you, right? He'd do just about anything for you wouldn't he? He wouldn't give a damn for his own safety, only yours. As long as you're safe, he's happy. It must be driving him crazy not knowing where you are or what's happening to you. He's a smart boy, I bet he's figured out who has you too. Now that's really got to be killing him. Can't you just imagine what he's going through?"

Unfortunately I could, and my happiness drained away as suddenly as it had appeared, only to be replaced by a pain so intense I could almost feel my heart contract.

"Well, not to worry, you'll be seeing your precious Lucky a lot sooner than you think."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" I spat, an alarm going off in my brain.

"Lucky doesn't know it yet, but he's going to come here to save you. And when he does...well, I haven't quite decided. Kill you in front of him, then kill him, or the other way around? Which one of you wants to watch the other die a terrible, horrible, bloody death before doing so yourself?"

"You're just bluffing," I murmured fiercely, despite the queasy tendril of fear curling its way through my stomach. "You're just trying to scare me."

He leaned forward and looked into my eyes. "Am I really?"

Chapter 9

LUCKY

Lucky was alone in his apartment. He had picked up dinner before coming home, but his food lay forgotten on the counter. He knew when he bought it that he would not really eat the food. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the envelope in his hands, at the uneven handwriting sprawling across it, and he was too afraid to open it. He knew he had to though, and he felt as though someone had a fist around his heart, pinching and sqeezing it as he turned the envelope over, his hand shaking as he tore it slowly open. When he heard the knock at the door he jumped off the bed. "Jesus," he whispered. His nerves were definitely shot. He went to open the door, still holding the unopened envelope.

"Mom..."

"I just stopped by to see how you were doing."

"I just got this in the mail."

He began to pull the contents from the envelope and discovered another envelope with large, bloody fingerprints on it and tore it open, removing the contents. Laura put her hand on Lucky's arm. "What is it, Lucky?"

His hands were shaking even more and the envelope fell to the floor as he spoke in a barely audible voice. "It's the bracelet I gave Elizabeth for her birthday. It's broken. And it has blood on it."

Laura leaned over to pick up the envelope, "Lucky, there's a note inside."

He grabbed it from her and tore the note from the enveiope. He blinked his eyes to fight the tears as he read:

~~She's always losing these things, isn't she? I'm afraid I had to hurt her for this one...for some reason she just wouldn't give it up without a fight. Must be pretty special. So is she, but you already knew that didn't you? Well, I feel for you buddy so I just wanted to give you this little souvenir so you wouldn't forget her.~~

He stared at the bloody, broken bracelet, imagining her struggle to save it as he ripped it from her arm, then looked at Laura, "Oh God, it is him, Mom. It's Tom. We know it for sure now."

ELIZABETH

It wasn't long before all of my thoughts of Lucky began to have something to do with food. I hadn't eaten anything since the last night I had been with him when we'd had dinner at Kelly's, just the two of us, only this time I didn't cook a thing. Ribs, of course we'd had big fat ribs, dripping with thick juicy sauce. And cheese fries, smothered in rich, hot melted cheese…

My stomach had been so empty for so long I could barely feel it. I groaned, turned over on the blankets, wincing as my shirt brushed against the cut above my right breast. I almost didn't care that it might get infected. Maybe I would get a really high fever then and have hallucinations and just die. My body was heavy with the lethargy of hunger, and every time I got up to use the bathroom or get a drink of water my head felt as though it would float away. Sometimes I wished it would.

How many days had passed since he'd had me tied in the chair? I didn't remember, because if I wasn't awake and thinking about food, the only other thing I could do was sleep and dream about Lucky. And what did it matter anyway how many days it had been? I was going to die anyway from slow starvation. But even so, at least I'd shown him that he hadn't beaten me completely down yet.

***

I said nothing as he knelt before me, his eyes gleaming with some sick kind of light, and I tried to keep myself from spitting in his face. That would give him some indication of how scared and angry I was, and I didn't want him to know that. He had already taken enough from me; I had to hold on to everything I could. I had never been very good at hiding expressions on my face when I was really upset, so I dragged my eyes from his and fixed them somewhere over his shoulder, trying to force my mind to go blank, trying to keep the fear from strangling my heart.

"Do you really want to test me on that one?" He asked. I ignored him. He sat back on his heels and lowered the knife. "Aha, I see what you're up to. Not gonna talk to me anymore, huh?" I remained silent, and he shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Stubborn," he muttered under his breath and moved closer to me.

I flinched when I felt his fingers brush lightly over my cheek and down my throat, but I kept my eyes locked forward, my mouth set, my face so still it began to ache.

"So pretty," he whispered, and my skin crawled at his touch, cold chills racing over my entire body. "I always thought you were, you know. I saw you sitting there so beautiful on that park bench, in your pretty little red dress with your makeup on and your hair done up all nice and I thought to myself, why is this girl all alone? It's a crime to see her there all by herself." His hand moved to my collarbone. "And so I decided to give myself to you. And now you have me. I'll always be with you, and you'll never be alone."

He lifted the knife and smiled and slowly split the collar of my T-shirt, pushing aside the cloth so that my collarbone was exposed. I bit the inside of my lip hard, too terrified to think clearly.

He tilted his head. "Aw, you're shaking. Don't worry, little one, I can read you a lot easier than you think. I'm scaring you aren't I? Well don't worry, it will all be over in a minute."

He's going to stab me! I thought wildly as the point of the knife sank into the flesh just above my collarbone and dragged downwards to the top of my breast. It happened so quickly that I barely felt any pain at first and could only stare in astonishment at the bright red blood seeping already into the cloth of my shirt. I looked up at him and the words left my mouth before I could even think.

"What did you do that for?"

"So cute." He poked the end of my nose with his finger and moved around behind me. I longed to twist my head around to see what he was doing, but I was too scared to look and closed my eyes instead, waiting...for what? His hand was on my wrist; there was a jerk and he tore my bracelet free with a little tinkle of metal. My head came up sharply.

"Hey!"

He walked back around and stood in front of me, admiring the broken bracelet as he held it up to the light. "Let me guess. Lucky gave this to you didn't he? What was it for? Christmas? Your birthday? Valentine's Day...?"

"Give that back to me!" I glared at him, wishing I could kill him with my gaze alone.

"Nah, I don't think so." He lowered the bracelet before my face and set it against the blood leaking slowly down my chest, making sure that it was coated. "Won't Lucky be so upset when he gets this in the mail? I don't know how he'll stand it really. It's going to scare him so very badly."

"Give it back!"

"I think I'll just keep it for now." He walked over to a table nearby and placed it there gently before turning back to me. I was breathing hard now, my teeth set, my body stiff with tension as he went behind me again and began to untie my arms. I was no longer afraid and I didn't care what he was going to do. He was taunting me, teasing me, playing a cruel game with me. I remembered when I had the gun on him months ago, how in those first crazy moments I had only wanted to pull the trigger and watch him die bleeding on the floor. I felt that feeling again, the kind of feeling that was all-consuming, pushing all other thoughts out of the way, a kind of bloodlust that was only frightening once it had passed and things were back to normal. Once you realized what you could be capable of, that you could be the kind of person who would want another one to die...there were few things more sobering, but I was not thinking of any of them now.

"I think it's time for you to go back to your room now," he said as he pulled me to my feet. "You need to rest up and see if you can get something done about that nasty cut you've got."

I flew at him, pelting at him with my fists as hard as I could, wanting only to hurt him, to make him feel even a tiny measure of the pain he had inflicted upon me so many times in the past. He grunted in momentary surprise, then with barely any effort threw me down on my back, knocking the wind from my lungs and knelt over me, the point of the knife pressed against the soft skin beneath my chin.

"Very good show, Elizabeth. But you can't seem to learn, can you? You'll never win when it comes to me. I'll always be bigger than you, and I'll always be stronger than you."

"Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?" I wheezed.

"What would be the fun in that? It would be too easy."

He got to his feet and pulled me to mine roughly, pushing me towards the door to my room. He shoved me inside and slammed the door behind me. I stood there panting, fighting a mad desire to try breaking the door down.

***

LUCKY

After Laura left, Lucky tried to eat his dinner, but his stomach was turning and he could not bring himself to eat. He picked up the bracelet again and held it in his hand, remembering the day he had given it to her, for her 16th birthday, the day after they had caught Tom. He hadn't known it was her birthday and had rushed out that morning to buy the bracelet. Surely this meant that she was still alive. He had to hang on to that thought.

She would want to put it back on the minute she was rescued and he suddenly realized that he had to fix the bracelet for her.. He shoved the plate out of the way, hurriedly washed the blood off the bracelet, and spread it on the table, painstakingly setting about repairing the damage that had been done to it.

It helped to calm him, having something constructive to do. He felt in his heart that if only he could fix the bracelet she would have to be found. He took it as an omen.

It took him some time to repair it, and he was concentrating so hard that he was able to block the thought of her being gone from his mind and think only thoughts of the times they had spent together. As soon as he had finished, the phone rang and brought him back to the present.

ELIZABETH

I hadn't seen him for days, and even though I was starving to death, I was glad. At least I was alone with my misery, and he was not there to see that I was crying all the time. Alone, all of my bravery proved insubstantial.

By the time he opened the door and came in, I only turned my head to look at him, then turned away. Who cared about spirit or courage?

"I've decided to take pity on you," he announced to my back as I lay on the blankets. "I brought you something to eat. And something else I figured wouldn't hurt."

I didn't know if he would stay, and I was glad when he didn't. I heard him set something down on the floor, then he left the room without saying anything else.

I lifted my head after he was gone, fighting a wave of dizziness as I did so. Food, my mind cried out weakly when I saw the two pieces of bread on the plate next to me. I reached out for one, but when I saw what lay next to them, I froze.

A cell phone. A link to the outside world. A link to Lucky.

Feeling faint, I withdrew my hand and stared at the phone, suspicion filling me instantly. Why would he just give it to me like that? What did he have in mind? I looked at it, then at the closed door, then at the phone again. He wasn't here now, what could he do? Why couldn't I use it? Call the police, that small voice in my mind said. But what good would that do when I didn't even know where I was, and surely I wouldn't have the phone long enough for them to trace the call? He could come in and take it away from me any second. No, I had to call Lucky. Just one quick call, just to let him know that I was alive, that was all. Just to tell him I loved him and I would always love him. Just to tell him good bye.

LUCKY

He had grown to dread the sound of the phone ringing. His heart always stopped beating for a moment when he heard the shrill sound. He wanted it to be Taggert with the news that they had found Elizabeth and she was safe, but he knew that it would probably be him telling him there was no news, or worse, that they had found her and the news wasn't good. He hesitated for just a minute before picking up the phone.

"Hello?" The voice he heard sent his heart racing with a mixture of glee, hope and incredible fear.

"Lucky? It's me; it's Elizabeth!"

Chapter 10

Lucky's heart beat wildly in his chest as he heard Elizabeth's voice on the other end of the phone. "Elizabeth?? Are you all right? Where are you?"

"I don't know, Lucky. I don't know where I am. But it doesn't matter because there's no way I can get out of here. I had to call you and tell you I love you, and I'll always love you."

His voice was desperate as he spoke. "Elizabeth, I need to know where you are so I can come and get you. I'm going to find you."

He could hear her start crying softly. "I don't know. He locked me in the trunk when he brought me here...I don't know. There's no way you can find me. I'm never going to see you again.

" NO!! Elizabeth, don't say that. You're going to see me again. I promise I'll find you. I'll never give up looking for you."

"Lucky, don't. Don't. It won't do any good. Do you really think he's going to let me live? I don't know what he's going to do but...there's no way. Not for me anymore. That's why I wanted to say goodbye..."

"I won't say goodbye to you, Elizabeth." He felt the tears stinging his eyes and his voice was barely audible. "I won't. I know Tom has you. I won't let him win this time. I love you. Just hang on to that thought.

"I can't, Lucky. He's killing me already."

"What has he done to you? Please tell me what he's done to you. Tell me he hasn't hurt you again." As he asked the question, he felt himself breaking out in a cold sweat. He needed to know, yet dreaded, the answer.

"He's hurt me ever since he came into my room and took me. But if you mean has he raped me again, no. He hasn't. He tried and he couldn't, and he hasn't tried again."

Lucky had held his breath while he waited for her answer and finally let out a long deep breath. The fact that she had not been raped again was one of the only things he could think of to be grateful for now. That and the sound of her sweet voice, still alive and talking to him. "Thank God. Elizabeth, I've been out of my mind since you've been gone. I can't sleep. I can't eat. You have to help me find you. There has to be some clue as to where you are. How long were you in the car? Do you know?"

"I don't know. There's nothing you can do, Lucky. I've accepted that, now you have to too."

"No. I'll never accept that. Never. You know that. Elizabeth, I will never give up hope. I'm going to find you and bring you home, no matter what it takes."

"Don't! Lucky, please don't say that! There's no way, and if you try something then something bad will happen to you. He said so...he said he was going to do something to you. I won't have you getting hurt or dying because of me! Just let me go...let me go. He could hear her crying uncontrollably.

"You think I care about myself? I don't care what he does to me. You're the only one who matters." He spoke softly now. "I'll never let you go, Elizabeth. Don't you know that?"

"I care Lucky. I care. It's bad enough that I'm here at all, that I know I'm going to die and that I'll never see you again. I couldn't bear it if I had to worry that something was going to happen to you too."

"Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. I'm a Spencer, remember? Nothing will happen to me, I promise. Sweetie, how did you get to a phone?"

"He gave it to me. I don't know why, and he'll probably take it away soon and I know I shouldn't have...but I had to call you. I had to talk to you one last time."

"This is not the last time! Elizabeth, listen to me." He could hear her sobbing as he spoke to her. He was silent for a moment, wishing there were something he could do to stop her crying, to give her a reason to hope. "Just keep thinking about how much I love you and how hard I'm going to work to find you. Can you do that for me? Please stop crying and really listen to me. I love you. I love you more than my life, and I'm going to come and get you."

"How much you love me is all I think about. I mean there's other things...like I'm hungry. I'm so hungry, but even so I always know you're out there somewhere, and that you love me, and you're the most wonderful thing that's ever, ever happened to me."

"I'm out here trying to find you. Please don't ever forget that. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, too. Before you my life was just…well, it was just my life. Now you're my life and I won't live it without you."

"Lucky, he broke my bracelet. He took it away from me." He could barely understand her, she was crying so hard.

"I know, honey. I know. He sent it to me. I fixed it for you though. Just before you called. So as soon as I find you I can put it back on your arm where it belongs."

"He sent it to you? Lucky....don't do anything." Her voice rose as she pleaded with him. "Don't try to do anything! He said he wanted you to come here, he's going to do something I know…"

Lucky suddenly heard a man's voice on the other end of the phone. "Hello, is this Lucky? Lucky Spencer?"

"Elizabeth? Where is she? Tell me where she is you son of a bitch!!"

"She's here on the floor crying. You two damn near made ME cry. I don't think I've ever seen a better or more tragic love story than the one that's here right before my very eyes"

"If you lay a hand on her, I'll kill you. I'll kill you with my own bare hands"

"Oops...guess I'm dead then. She sure does feel good doesn't she? Now you know what I saw in her in the first place don't you?" His voice was cold, maniacal and Lucky could hear Elizabeth in the background, hysterical, screaming, "Lucky! Hang up! Hang up the phone now!"

"Tell me where you have her. Let me come and get her, please."

Tom laughed cruelly. "And ruin the end of this lovely little drama. Not a chance. Ow, shit! You little bitch!" Lucky heard Elizabeth cry out behind him.

"What did you do to her? Tell me!!!"

"Why don't you come see for yourself?"

"What? Are you going to tell me where you are?"

"No, I'm going to bring you where she is."

Lucky heard Elizabeth, still pleading, "Lucky, don't....oh God, don't!"

"Tell me! Tell me right now where you are."

"Not that easy, Slick. I'm sure you know where the docks are in Port Charles, don't you?"

"You know I do."

"Meet me there after dark tomorrow night. I'll bring you to her. But one thing Lucky...."

"What?"

"If you bring anyone with you...any cops, anyone....if you're bugged or anything other than completely and totally alone....she's dead. Only I know where she is, and only I can feed her and let her out if I want to. Something happens to me...no one will ever find her till it's far, far too late."

Lucky heard the click as the connection was broken. He began to pace the room as he desperately pleaded into the now dead phone line. "Let me talk to Elizabeth again, please… Answer me!!. Hello, hello??"